E226: Accountability Should Feel Like Encouragement | Trauma Healing Podcast

Have you ever been a part of a community and it feels like when you are trying to find people to bring you up and support you, that it actually feels like they're pulling you down that they're in your way that they're not actually helpful or beneficial?

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What's up, Unbroken Nation. Hope that you're doing well, my friends. So I was at a conference this week, the Undercover Billionaire Boot Camp. If you guys have watched undercover billionaire with Grant Cardone, or you may know briefly after Undercover Billionaire, Grant Cardone invested into Think Unbroken and as a business partner, which is this really amazing thing that I get to say and it was at this. So Matt Smith who was a part of that was hosting a boot camp for people to not only learn some behind the scenes but also to get some business education and talk about growing a business and things of that nature and there was a really cool experience I got to be a part of this past weekend. And one of the speakers was future podcast guess who's going to become and I’m excited about Kin Jocelyn.  And Kin put something on stage I wrote down and so whenever I go to conferences, I read a ton of notes because I'm always learning and I told you before if you're willing to learn your life will be different and wrote this down. If you're in a great community, accountability, it should feel like an encouragement.

Think about that y'all should feel like encouragement.

One of the things that I've always loved about The Unbroken Nation, you guys, who are listening, how amazing you are. There's a fact that there's so much encouragement on social media, and one of the big things that we're getting ready to do is launch our Discord as well as a Monday night coaching that I'm going to do for free, I'm very excited about that. So I'll have more details in a couple of days, so make sure if you're not following me on Instagram and you do @Michaelunbroken.

And so I was thinking about this idea about community and how, you know, I've been in communities where it felt like, people don't want to see you rise growing up, where I grew up looking at my life and thinking about what childhood was like, what my teams were like. You know, the fuckers just were not supportive, there was no encouragement like I remember being young and be like, man, I'm going to go and try to do this, I'm gonna go try to be this person and go try, make it out of here. And yeah, of course, I was selling drugs, I was breaking the houses, I was doing a lot of stupid shit, but I was whenever I tried to be encouraging, whenever I tried to do something that I felt would impact my neighborhood, my community it was like, people are always raining down on me. And so, you know, it's not doing that for a really long time, just like, fuck this, why bother? Why bother if nobody's gonna see me, why bother? And I realize like wait a second, I should be doing that stuff for me.

When you think about the community that you're a part of right now when you put out your ideas in your dreams, you know, are they encouraging to you or these people in your life are they people that want to take care of you that want to see you be successful? Or are they people telling you nahh, you know what? Stacy, Bill, you know, whatever your name is, you dreamed too big, right? You dream too big. We don't like that makes us uncomfortable. Lower your expectations, lower your targets, lower your dreams.

We don't want that around, if that's the kind of community that you're in, you need to really take a pause here and think about the impact of that on your life because I don't know about you but when this happened to me, I was just done, I was like, you know what? Fuck this. I don't want to go and be a volunteer, I don't want to be a big brother, I don't want to make change in my community, I just keep selling drugs, I just keep breaking the houses and stealing cars, and not graduate high school. I'll go only spend money on myself in my 20s and never take care of people, only be a monster all the time because every time I try to share some that people pull me down. You are the sum total of the people that you spend your most time with. And if you are with people who are only ever taking away from you, who have limited beliefs, who are telling you, you're not good enough, strong enough, capable enough, who whenever you tell a dream, they laugh at you, you are in the wrong fucking community. And you need to acknowledge that because, guess what, you can only change what you can measure, right?

You've heard me say that before, and if you aren't measuring the people that you're spending time with your going to be in trouble, because I'm telling you right now, what you're in a relationship with somebody right now in your friends and your business and your career and your family, even where they're just pulling you down every time, you're like yo, I got this idea, got this thing, I'm healing, I'm changing, I’m growing and becoming the better version of myself, I'm not letting trauma be in my way anymore, I'm going to therapy.

Think about this for a second…

How many times in your life have you told somebody you're going to therapy and they're like, you don't need therapy, what are you going to do that for?

How many times have you told somebody you're thinking about getting a coach? And then they're like, oh my God coach, what? Why could you play basketball or some dumb shit like that?

Like you guys got to think about this for a second…

No way in hell.

You're going to be successful those are the people in your life.

No way, it just isn't gonna happen.

And I remember somebody laughed at me a couple of years ago. Actually probably a little bit longer when I was like, you know what, Tom Bilyeu is going to be my coach one day, they laughed and they were like, yeah, right, okay, I will never forget this. I was living in Bali will never forget this and they just straight-up laugh at me, I was like, hey, you will never be my fucking friend after this moment. So fuck you. Because I'm not letting anybody pull me down, I promise you that. And I'm going to have Tom Bilyeu as my coach, I have made a decision what I'm going to do, what it takes to get there.

And as many of, you know, I've had the fortune of being able to learn of one of the greatest minds on planet Earth right now in my coach, Tom Bilyeu. And you know what, people think that to when they come into coaching with me, they're like, yo, I gotta learn from this person who's created, this amazing thing that can help me make my life better, but there are people in my life judgment for. Those people in your life who judge you for that, they will never have success because they're terrified of what it looks like because they don't understand that in order to have success they've got to be willing to put themselves outside of their comfort zone.

And when you get into a community, where accountability feels like an encouragement, where people go, hey, man, you didn't do the thing you said you were going to do what's up with that? And then the follow-up is, how do we help you? What do you need? Where you at? What's broken in the system? What ideas can we bring to the table that will change your life? Not, oh, you didn't get the thing done you said you were going to do and everybody's like see we knew you weren't going to do it, I don't even know why you try. You're a loser. You suck. Why even show up, that will never change your life. And look in time, you will become more accountable to yourself in the community aspect will become less and less like one of the things that I'm most accountable in my life for showing up for this community every single day, that's why we release a podcast every day, that's why it's a Sunday afternoon in 65 degrees and beautiful outside and I'm sitting here recording this talking to you because I said I'm going to be accountable to myself in my community because I want them to be encouraged about the idea that they can create massive change in their life, they're willing to take these tools.

And some of you guys are hanging out with people right now, who won't give you the time of day around your own dream. And there's a fine line to you have to think about the communities that you're even sharing your dreams with, to be honest with you, I don't tell most people what I'm doing. You guys have no idea what I'm doing back here, I'm doing some huge shit right now, I got this white board full of projects that were working on at Think Unbroken to create massive change.

We got a lot of stuff coming, but I don't tell everybody about it because not everybody needs to know until it's ready, not everybody needs to know until I want to put it out, not everybody needs to know because some people are going to say that's a pretty lofty goal, man, you should shrink.

It might want to go a little less try, a little less hard, not be so intense, not try to make your dreams come true, you cannot operate like that. And if those are the people in your life, I promise you, you're going to be better off. Keeping your dreams close to your chest then you are sharing them with people, right? And unfortunately, some of those people are your family. So you need to look at that and make meaning of it.

You know, I have this amazing conversation with my brother, one of my little brother's recently and he's like, man, I'm about to go be a firefighter, I was like fuck, yeah, you are go get that shit, let's go make it happen right now. Not about you can't about to be a firefighter, you can't kind of be a firefighter, you got to put your fucking work in, you got a stunning, you got to get in shape, you got to show up today. And I'm here to support you, I want to see you do that. And on Saturday, I text him after his test of said, tell me what happened. He's like smoke that test, I crushed that test, I did exactly what I said I was going to do. Now could you imagine if I had my little brother's? I want to be a firefighter, I was like, yeah, right, good luck with that shit, loser. Could you imagine that? You probably hear that go, that's crazy, Michael, why would you ever do that? And yet, there are people in your life right now, we're like, yeah, right sock mother little brother amazing conversation. He's like, man about to quit this job because I want to go travel the world, and I think I found the way to do it through this avenue over here so I'm going to go run this play and see if we can make it happen. And he's making it happen.

And what if I was like, shut up travel the world, man, I did it.

Fuck the world like, stay home, play video games, don't do this shit.

Do you think he'd be in a position to be successful?

And what's fucked up is some of y'all are the ones who are perpetrating this. Some of you listening right now because look the limiting belief that's been implanted in you, from these generations of trauma has said how dare you think that you can be successful? And so the moment someone else wants to put their idea of success in the universe you have to pull it down because you're scared of it.

You need to face the truth that if you're going to be scared of success, you will never be successful.

I teach people all the time, when they come into coaching with me.

You have got to allow yourself the space to give your permission; give yourself permission to be successful. Give yourself permission to be successful because I promise you if you don't you will not be. But if you continue to hang out with people that when you try to step into success, that you try to step in the success that weapon say it again, “if you are around people that when you try to step in success, they bring you down there negative, they're short sighted, there naysayers, they're haters, you're in the wrong fucking community.”

Nothing's going to be different if you don't change that community.

So I want you to take measurement and inventory of the people that you're spending time with because accountability should feel like encouragement when you're in the right key.

Unbroken Nation, thank you so much for listening means the world to me.

If this episode brought value. Please share it with a friend, give it to somebody who needs to hear this today because you sharing this could change somebody's life. And I appreciate you and thank you for the reviews. Thank you for the messages and the emails and the DM, that means the world to me.

Take care of yourself, my friends.

And Until Next Time.

Be Unbroken.

-I'll see you.