How to Turn Trauma, Addiction & Grief Into Power, Purpose & Positivity | Life Story with Michael Leung

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[SPEAKER_00]: facing adversity is a part of the human experience, no matter what we do, no matter what we come from, no matter how we're born, whether it's silver spoon or if you're like me growing up homeless, we all have decisions to make in our life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And in those decisions, a lot of times we are impacted by the past using and leveraging that for both good or bad depending on the perspective in which you look at it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: For some of us though, we have the ability to take the very things that have caused the most pain and our lives and flip them to go and do something beautiful and extraordinary, which we're going to talk about today with my amazing guest at Brent, Michael Wong.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Michael my friend, thank you for being here.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the show.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks.

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[SPEAKER_01]: This is Vince Player.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much.

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[SPEAKER_01]: How do you me?

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[SPEAKER_00]: So first, obviously, let's dive in.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Why should anyone listen to our conversation today?

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[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like I represent a lot of the underdog, the underdog story, I've been through the trenches and come back to the finish line and I think a lot of people can resonate with that because they go through.

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[SPEAKER_01]: struggles their entire life, whether it's a death in the family, addiction, trauma, whether it's still going through it right now, you know, there's proof that, you know, if you work hard, just try to, you know, be a good person, focus on like positivity, get the help you need, then you can, you know, do some great things or so.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Dan, I think a lot of people right now, more than ever, they feel kind of stuck, they feel lost.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think that obviously I've been there.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I know you've been there as well.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Tell us about the story in the journey.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Where did this process begin for you?

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[SPEAKER_01]: I came to Canada when I was like six years old, my family, you know, immigrated us.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Obviously, when I was really young, and we were worried about the communist taking over, you know, Hong Kong, so my family took all of us, flew us to Calgary, completely different, you know, whether, you know, cold and hot, had to learn the language.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And, um,

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like I grew up just, you know, a talk different acted different, you know, it's just a different kid, but But I always told people I don't remember getting bullied, you know, I know a lot of people have worried about their kids getting bullied nowadays, but You know, that wasn't a worry of mine and I hung out with some really nice, nice people, like throughout my G.I.

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[SPEAKER_01]: and elementary.

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[SPEAKER_01]: But

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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I think it was, the transition period was when I was a great 9-grey 10, that's when things kind of went down south pretty bad because my mom passed away from cancer and that really drove drove me from being a straightest student listening to my parents and then suddenly just like a snap of finger and you know, die by hair, fought, you know, all the time, uh, start stealing, you know,

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[SPEAKER_01]: My family didn't recognize me anymore.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I was just like a different kid.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I just started growing up on the streets ran away like all the time.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Never came home, only reason why I came home was because I was under probation.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Because I was under strict watch and stuff.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And just the terrible, I felt like it was terrible kid.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I felt like I let my mom down all these years.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And now I finally got found my path so I'm happy about that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's interesting how these moments in our lives can kind of change the trajectory of everything.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's really, you know, I mean, first off it sucks, right, to have such an awful, some experience at such a young age when we don't really have the mental capacity to navigate those things.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think a lot of people do go the wrong direction.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, certainly I attest to that for my own self.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean,

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[SPEAKER_00]: being in trouble literally every day of my teens, you know, constantly running from the cops getting shot at, breaking out.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was, I was on this mission, which I look back now, and I obviously I understand it better.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was this hurt lost little boy just trying to understand how to navigate the world.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And, and I think that a big part of that is you just don't understand it, right?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so,

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[SPEAKER_00]: Looking back in those moments, what I always come to is I try to get myself grace for it and go, yeah, dude, you did your best and, you know, your, your maniac because, well, how do you process such a horrible thing, you know?

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's true like um like I do look back and like all all the things I've done I look back, but they're building blocks, you know like I don't I don't think I won't ever want to change anything Maybe who I am today, but I you know like yeah, I've been like you know Almost died a bunch of times my friends most of my friends are a jail or deported or you know or uh just you know

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[SPEAKER_01]: in jail, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: So I was lucky I got out early, you know, before things, you know, the, the, the really crazy stuff happened and attributed to some extra friends that were talking me out of things and just started working normal jobs and trying to stay out of them.

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[SPEAKER_01]: the crazy, crazy, you know, the gang stuff, you know, the deep stuff, you know, so.

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[SPEAKER_01]: But I think even now, like, I feel like a big part of these missing because like, I see other people's families are like, you know, they have their closeness with their mom and dad, their fate and stuff, and I lost my fate, like, you know, you know, what I believe in anymore.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Let's see other things.

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[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, I have a cross.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I have Jesus tattooed on me, but I don't go a church.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't talk about it.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I would just say I do it for myself.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't say I do it for anyone else.

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[SPEAKER_01]: My mom was big.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like if she didn't pass away, I probably would have became the way I became.

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[SPEAKER_01]: She was a loving, nurturing mom.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Just walk me to school.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Just very patient.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And then I was, you know, officer.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Like I feel bad for him because the single single parent was in your life and having to take on all the responsibilities I think he wasn't ready for that because my mom did everything.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So he's kind of like, oh my god, I could do like, please the house, I got to like bring money home and still be a good dad.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And some of I think he just kind of got lost in that toy lost me there.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean that's that's so intense man and you think about that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And you know.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I guess for me a long time ago, I just came to this point, because I grew up Mormon, right, in which is kind of intense considering the circumstances, and I just kind of got to this place at one point where I realized,

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to believe in anything other than what I believe.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't need to go to church.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't need to like make myself bin to what other people feel like I should be.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And you know, it's interesting.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You said that you're like, yeah, and a lot of this stuff I do for me, do it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'll be honest with you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think there's a lot of power in that because I think a lot of times that you have to be able to force yourself into being

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[SPEAKER_00]: a better person to being a better version of you and it starts with you not also there's a huge conversation we had about you know your why and making it further people which you know obviously with your business and things that you do now which will get into you've made a big impact on others lives but I think there's something really powerful about being like you know what I made the decision to choose myself.

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[SPEAKER_00]: right what was there a pivotal moment for you where you're like you know what if I don't do this for me I'm definitely going to jail I'm going to die like this is not going to end well.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah I think that happened many times throughout my life and uh and I had to you know a kind of come in and out of like the seat the stuff and uh it's usually two a period of like depression or you know alcoholism or just like partying and stuff and

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[SPEAKER_01]: And those are results from making bad investments, you know, from trusting the raw people.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And then, of course, you know, everything just spirals down, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: So, and then hang out the wrong friends, you know, a lot of friends are just, I care about, you know, quantity.

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[SPEAKER_01]: That was just quality, you know, I cut off 95% of my friends.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Now, I quit drinking, you know, for a year and a half almost now.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So, I don't even care about it.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I love not drinking.

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[SPEAKER_01]: You know, no, it's just like such a waste of money and time back then, I spent so much money on, I'll call it like I almost lost my house in my car, you know, just like being behind on payments, just going blowing thousands like girls, I don't even know, and, uh, but I think like,

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[SPEAKER_01]: The most recent one that I finally kind of like realized in more consistently was my ex, you know, for 12 years.

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[SPEAKER_01]: She's still really good friend of mine and like, I think she kind of like drove that in my head that like, if we're gonna have a future, I gotta be consistently much better in everything, you know.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And I was a big part of your back then, and just, you know, I was a big reason why I was just so lazy and just trusting people so easily.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And she's like, stop trusting people.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Do your own thing, have your own ideas, stop jumping on other people's ideas, and you'll be feeling feeling more fulfilled, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: And that's kind of why I feel now, even without her being by my side, but we're still good friends.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And

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[SPEAKER_01]: just, you know, she's 12 years younger than me, but she was more mature than me.

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[SPEAKER_01]: At the time, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: So, and yeah, I think it, you have that special someone that can like fish you other water, that care about you enough, that say, you know, your worst thing, you know, like just keep coming, just keep, keep working hard, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: Like, and now 45, and finally, found my way, you know,

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, dude, I don't think there's a right time, you know what I mean?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I hit my rock, my first of many rock bottoms, you know when I'm like 13, 14 years old.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And by the time I was 25, I had another one.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And then it's just you kind of look at your life and at one point you have to make a decision.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I remember sitting even recently and just thinking to myself, like, who do I want to be?

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, and that's such a hard thing because we, I think society has felt as in so many ways, especially as young boys, right, because I don't know about you, but growing up, we're close in age, right, we're a few years apart, but I grew up in, I'm in this hip-hop culture, I'm in this, um,

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[SPEAKER_00]: This sex drugs rock and roll kind of culture.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm in this thing about like go sell drugs because that's the way out kind of culture, you know, running the streets.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure you and I probably did a lot of the same things and nobody in that I've said this before I wish someone would have just smacked me in the face and like, dude, what are you doing?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And for some people that shift happens when they're 15 for some people it's 45 for some people it's 65 right and and I don't I don't think it matters, but I do think people get kind of caught up in that they're like I should be in this place now and I don't know if you know who Gary Vaynerchuk is or not, but he's a pretty well known marketer in the United States and he's got just tons of content and I my my one of my best friends sent me this video of him.

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[SPEAKER_00]: probably like a month ago maybe two months ago and he's saying to people he's like do your 40 like you are still a baby like do you have any idea how much time is in front of you?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Now for some of his 40 is like the halfway mark and I'm like I probably feel like that's me maybe I'll get lucky I'll make it to 80 but I'm like

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[SPEAKER_00]: do.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What I could do in the next 40 years is unbelievable, but it relies on you looking at your life and going, you know, I'm going to bet on myself.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's super, super scary, especially in the beginning.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What was that like for you like you're looking at your life like man, I'm I've just got to do something differently at least I have a couple people around me who are encouraging me, but I have to be the one to do this.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What what has that been like.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, it's been like.

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[SPEAKER_01]: life changing is I'm enjoying every moment, you know, like, I think I depend on people too much.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I never ended up like my creativity come up to the maximum.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I have ADHD, like severe ADHD, but I don't take my meds and I talk a lot like I write people like essays and stuff and I've scared away girls and scare away business relationships.

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[SPEAKER_01]: But, you know, that's just how I am, but like, you know, that's my personality.

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[SPEAKER_01]: It's not like any to do any harm.

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[SPEAKER_01]: It's a good heart.

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[SPEAKER_01]: But, um,

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[SPEAKER_01]: I think even with my actually before we broke up, she was helping me with a lot of the websites and building this and visual stuff.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And then after we broke up, then I took on everything, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I could do marketing and do social media, do everything.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like,

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[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes you have to put yourself into the heart, you know, something you'd never done before and just learn.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I've learned almost self-taught, almost of my entire business.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I've built by myself now.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And even without her, I just start transcending getting better, better, having more ideas and like great ideas.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Some ideas, people like, oh, that's genius.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Like, something I never thought I would because I was just so lazy.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I just laid back and I just didn't do anything.

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[SPEAKER_01]: But when ADHD kicks in, it's your superpower.

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[SPEAKER_01]: interested in something you're obsessed with it.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just like constantly like want to make it perfect, you know.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's a great thing.

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[SPEAKER_01]: That's what drives me right now.

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[SPEAKER_01]: It's really learning all the time.

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[SPEAKER_01]: No.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and as somebody with ADHD trust me, I totally get that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think for me it's it's been you have to

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[SPEAKER_00]: You have to learn how to bet on yourself because if you don't believe in yourself, nobody else is going to.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What's it been for you transitioning into that place where you're starting to believe?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Where was it at the beginning?

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[SPEAKER_00]: How did you start to build those pillars of who you are?

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's all most of my life.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I've taken like a lot of gambles, a lot of risks, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: On myself, but in not very calculated ways, you know, I didn't research things.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I just kind of jumped at things, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: But now everything I do, because it's my own business.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm very calculate to if I don't take risks without, you know, thinking I put it through many different scenarios

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[SPEAKER_01]: because now I'm betting on myself, like everything that I do is just completely different.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't really trust working with people as much anymore because all the negative things has happened being the past.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Just now I just, you know, I feel like investing in yourself and just doing everything hands on and everything is the best way.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and now I, I'm just, yeah, it's, I'm just obsessed with just like trying to better myself and try to do the best business I can, the best, you help as many people as I can, you know, like, uh, because in the past, I never, never really, you know, thought of those things right until now, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: So, feeling like I didn't waste a lot of my years, but I certainly,

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[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't make the best decisions for a long time until recently, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: And I just stopped drinking like a year and a half ago, so I think it was, uh, I think that was a clarity.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Well, you don't drink as stuff.

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[SPEAKER_01]: It really tears your mind, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: So I think cutting off your negative friends really tears your mind.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So now I'm just all about myself and time.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I hermit a lot too, like, but I rather hermit than be backstabbed and like, and be used and like abused and, you know, so, um,

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think that there's something really true to that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I go look at a huge transformation happen which happened in my life in my early 30s and so much of it was I just removed myself from everything and everyone and I got super focused.

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[SPEAKER_00]: and that's how I built the podcast, that's how I wrote my first book, that's how I started coaching people, make there's something real about just kind of saying no to everyone and everything, except for the goals that are in front of you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I also think there's something powerful about the ability to go and do something which makes you be of service.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I've realized this from years of sitting in rooms with people in addiction recovery and so much of what you see and I'm not saying this always the case, but this is the case a lot, people who are addicts are incredibly selfish.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I put myself in that category, obviously.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But I look at the transition of going from what can people do for me, what is it that I can get from people, which inevitably, you know, talking about getting back back back stabbed, like, yeah, that's probably our fault as the individual, right?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And, and I go, well, why am I in this situation?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And, and you start dissecting all of that, and then if you transition, you're like, well, how do I actually go and be of service to other people?

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[SPEAKER_00]: which really, I don't know if this was your experience, but was incredible for me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It required me to become a better person.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why I've always said for years on this show, if you are stuck, if you are depressed, if you are angry, if you're sad, if things in your life are not working, go volunteer.

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[SPEAKER_00]: go do something that's not about you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's where I think on broken kind of came from, because as I was sitting here looking at my life at 2930 31 years old, it's not like it was the worst life ever, but I wasn't happy and it wasn't satisfied and I wasn't doing anything that mattered.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I thought to myself, let me go be of service to people and it kind of just created itself over the years.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Why did you decide to go and help people?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, where did that come from?

17:57.701 --> 17:59.582
[SPEAKER_01]: So, as you know, I help a lot of seniors.

17:59.622 --> 18:01.603
[SPEAKER_01]: That's my main focus right now is, uh,

18:02.332 --> 18:06.295
[SPEAKER_01]: I helped seniors in a good, I think it's kind of stemmed from my vision loss.

18:06.456 --> 18:11.620
[SPEAKER_01]: So I lost my vision and a retinal detachment on what were my left eye, right?

18:12.280 --> 18:21.789
[SPEAKER_01]: So I lost my vision and that was when I was like in and out of the, the I clinics always meeting seniors, they're always like the youngest guy there, 30s, something years old.

18:22.369 --> 18:24.771
[SPEAKER_01]: They're like, do you get punched in an MMA fight?

18:24.791 --> 18:27.033
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, no, no, I'll just spontaneously happen.

18:27.413 --> 18:30.715
[SPEAKER_01]: And they're 90, some of their 80s in the game, they're, you know, cataract surgeries.

18:31.296 --> 18:37.981
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I had two cataract surgeries, and then I had a retinized pick most of where I've lost my peripheral, and I only have tunnel vision on one side, right?

18:38.521 --> 18:51.652
[SPEAKER_01]: So I really felt, like, I felt the connection with the seniors, because we, not only do they have hearing loss, they have sight loss, they have health loss, like they have health issues, right?

18:52.392 --> 18:53.333
[SPEAKER_01]: and they're declining.

18:53.353 --> 18:56.234
[SPEAKER_01]: They're almost, you know, they're 80s, 90s, and they're living in C. Home.

18:57.075 --> 18:58.615
[SPEAKER_01]: They're, and they're still joyful.

18:58.655 --> 19:01.377
[SPEAKER_01]: Some of them, some of them are miserable, but some of them are just so happy.

19:01.437 --> 19:08.260
[SPEAKER_01]: But they tell me, live your life like they're like, if only I can have 40 years, you know, like, how much would I do with that, right?

19:08.280 --> 19:09.221
[SPEAKER_01]: That resonate with me.

19:09.621 --> 19:13.363
[SPEAKER_01]: And I love talking to them because they're full of like, um,

19:14.237 --> 19:21.900
[SPEAKER_01]: just information knowledge, you know, and like I like to say they're talking to people, and some people are like, why you talk to see you for hours, right?

19:21.920 --> 19:22.780
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, why not?

19:22.840 --> 19:33.704
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I learned a lot from them, and I see how how their mechanics are and that they, some of them just want the extra 20, 30 years to really like, live it up, you don't really can't.

19:34.205 --> 19:34.465
[SPEAKER_01]: So,

19:35.225 --> 19:44.816
[SPEAKER_01]: And I have that time too, even though I'm partially blind, I have traveled to 3600 with my expo for the last 10 years because I was worried and would go completely blind, right?

19:44.836 --> 19:51.883
[SPEAKER_01]: So I've seen a lot, I've done a lot for some of those in their 40s, but now I feel like I want to be that

19:53.100 --> 19:59.086
[SPEAKER_01]: That's not, it's kind of like the good, the good soldier kind of thing to like pay it forward.

19:59.126 --> 20:04.412
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you know, do good and feel good about it, you know, like, and I feel good.

20:04.472 --> 20:05.673
[SPEAKER_01]: It will help people.

20:05.813 --> 20:06.834
[SPEAKER_01]: People can hear again.

20:07.194 --> 20:10.818
[SPEAKER_01]: They can just be less isolated from their conversations from family.

20:11.139 --> 20:12.220
[SPEAKER_01]: Have something affordable.

20:12.300 --> 20:13.901
[SPEAKER_01]: That does a cost of an armoured leg, right?

20:13.921 --> 20:14.102
[SPEAKER_01]: So.

20:14.642 --> 20:21.812
[SPEAKER_01]: That's why I feel like, yeah, my purpose is now and helping seniors and not just seniors, people all walks of life.

20:22.233 --> 20:25.838
[SPEAKER_01]: Just watching them improve is just blessing for me right now.

20:27.558 --> 20:28.879
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's powerful, man.

20:29.099 --> 20:33.262
[SPEAKER_00]: It's wild, how, and life is gonna go so fast, right?

20:33.302 --> 20:35.183
[SPEAKER_00]: And you don't know what's going to happen to you.

20:35.203 --> 20:37.064
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you might not be here tomorrow.

20:37.244 --> 20:40.466
[SPEAKER_00]: You might be here when you're 110, like you don't know, right?

20:40.627 --> 20:45.250
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that my life got better when I started serving people.

20:45.710 --> 20:52.995
[SPEAKER_00]: When I pulled myself out of my own head and my own ass, and I was like, go out here and make the world a better place.

20:53.195 --> 20:56.097
[SPEAKER_00]: Even though it's hard, I mean, you know this, it's so hard to help people.

20:56.817 --> 21:22.202
[SPEAKER_00]: in any capacity right and there's a lot of people they just don't want help and like you don't help the people who don't want to be help that's that's fine but there's something really powerful about every single day showing up with a mission and with purpose and I think that's where people get lost all the time they're like what's my purpose and like there are so many problems in the world that you could offer your energy to solve start with something.

21:22.682 --> 21:33.108
[SPEAKER_00]: start with the thing that's in front of you, start with the same problems that your family and your friends or maybe even you have had and go and put an effort to make the world a better place.

21:33.708 --> 21:45.355
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's interesting, we live, I know that you're in Canada when we're in the states, but we live in such an isolated world where people are terrified to say hello to you in the elevator.

21:45.995 --> 21:49.978
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's like sometimes I don't know that people know necessarily where to

21:52.219 --> 22:01.445
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's say someone is like you, and they're on the backside of this really hard time, and they recognize through this conversation right now.

22:01.485 --> 22:07.888
[SPEAKER_00]: They're like, maybe the thing that I need to do is to go be of service in some capacity.

22:09.089 --> 22:10.470
[SPEAKER_00]: What should they be thinking about?

22:10.630 --> 22:11.310
[SPEAKER_00]: And where should

22:14.020 --> 22:18.483
[SPEAKER_01]: I think also helping people, you need to be in the right mind frame too, right?

22:18.503 --> 22:25.409
[SPEAKER_01]: Like for me, I actually always told me like I needed to get help therapy, improve myself for me and help someone else, right?

22:25.869 --> 22:28.711
[SPEAKER_01]: Because if I'm not in the right mind frame, I can't help someone else, right?

22:28.731 --> 22:35.977
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just being, I'm just being like, not a fake, but like, you know, I just feel like it.

22:37.067 --> 22:45.152
[SPEAKER_01]: For me to go sober and actually go get help and get therapy was the first step in telling them I need help, you know, like I have a lot of help I need.

22:45.572 --> 22:56.839
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't want to live in that like, like the wall that I had, you know, just pretending to be happy and like, you know, have all this built up like issues that I just go and try to serve people.

22:56.879 --> 23:00.381
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I think you have to like break down the wall before you can help others, right?

23:00.622 --> 23:03.423
[SPEAKER_01]: And then you can feel more fulfilled to do it, right?

23:03.844 --> 23:04.024
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

23:04.104 --> 23:05.224
[SPEAKER_01]: And other people would feel it.

23:06.525 --> 23:21.869
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think when you're truly like in that phase, people can see it like the passion to dedication like, they can see you're being a good person because you want to be a good person, not because some people just do it because they do it because they think they'll make them feel better.

23:22.710 --> 23:25.370
[SPEAKER_01]: But you got to do it because you're doing it for others.

23:26.471 --> 23:28.971
[SPEAKER_01]: And what the result is that makes you feel good about it.

23:29.031 --> 23:33.033
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, so I know there's some people just do it just to look like look good, you know,

23:34.633 --> 23:39.474
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, they'll go visit like a homeless shelter and they'll broadcast it all over TV.

23:39.694 --> 23:42.155
[SPEAKER_01]: But then some celebrities will do it behind close doors and no one even knows.

23:42.555 --> 23:49.336
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's called, you know, yeah, that's called a truthfully doing it because it's out of love and kindness, right?

23:49.356 --> 23:50.957
[SPEAKER_01]: Not for for show, right?

23:50.997 --> 23:56.818
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think yeah, you have to really be tanker yourself, your soul, and be a better person for you, helps them.

23:57.378 --> 24:02.985
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, what do you think is a couple of the things that really transformed in your life?

24:03.045 --> 24:13.397
[SPEAKER_00]: So obviously we talked about drinking, but was there you talk about taking care of your soul was was there something that you had to unlock so you could actually go and step into this.

24:15.219 --> 24:18.460
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean, I still have a lot of work to work on.

24:18.480 --> 24:29.865
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like, I think deep inside, like I was always trying to figure out why I had that darkness in me, but it was a lot of it's growing up as a child without your mom.

24:30.085 --> 24:40.129
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a big part and then me, my dad didn't get along for so many years and we've recently kind of reconnected, but he's still like a tough guy to talk to.

24:40.149 --> 24:42.070
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, sometimes it frustrates me even talking to him,

24:45.693 --> 24:52.096
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, and then, but now, like, for some reason, like, I get very sensitive, I get very emotional.

24:52.156 --> 24:54.917
[SPEAKER_01]: The way I watched, like, you know, like a word show.

24:54.937 --> 24:58.538
[SPEAKER_01]: Is there something like emotionally, anything related to my mom or cancer?

24:58.598 --> 25:04.741
[SPEAKER_01]: I just started balling, you know, and, um, a lot of it also from my expo, or breakup was, uh,

25:05.421 --> 25:06.462
[SPEAKER_01]: It took a lot on me.

25:06.642 --> 25:20.108
[SPEAKER_01]: I had started drinking heavily, and then it wasn't till my friend starts stepping in saying, like, hey, you have a purpose for all, like you have this business, you're supposed to help people, and you're hiding from the world, drinking every day because you and your ex broke up, right?

25:20.629 --> 25:22.830
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, you think she wants to see like this, you know?

25:22.850 --> 25:23.010
[SPEAKER_01]: Like,

25:23.670 --> 25:28.815
[SPEAKER_01]: So I had to dig myself like out of the grave and then told myself day one, like I'm not going to drink anymore.

25:29.195 --> 25:32.538
[SPEAKER_01]: I just cut cold turkey and I still have that same box of beer in my fridge.

25:32.958 --> 25:36.061
[SPEAKER_01]: And I remind myself, like, I don't, you know, it makes me feel good.

25:36.081 --> 25:37.342
[SPEAKER_01]: I've touched it for a year and a half.

25:37.382 --> 25:38.002
[SPEAKER_01]: It just sits there.

25:39.083 --> 25:39.604
[SPEAKER_01]: And, um,

25:41.052 --> 25:47.577
[SPEAKER_01]: And I just think that like, yeah, just there's said I still have that that hole in my soul.

25:47.617 --> 25:50.159
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like that's just needs that soothing.

25:50.199 --> 26:00.086
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what it is still and I just feel like it is that emptiness I had as a child for 20, 30 years and my friends are the only ones around and they even backstabbed me.

26:00.106 --> 26:05.430
[SPEAKER_01]: So it felt like, you know, like, I had to learn everything on my own and the only person

26:08.072 --> 26:11.354
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, like, those, like, I felt a great connection with.

26:11.435 --> 26:13.476
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, we feel human was hurt, right?

26:13.496 --> 26:23.904
[SPEAKER_01]: So, and, um, and even till now, I feel like, like, I, I, I'm still like slowly getting in the group of things as my help more and more people.

26:23.964 --> 26:29.568
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like a lot of the wall is slowly kind of, you know, falling down.

26:32.035 --> 26:42.205
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I don't want to use my childhood stuff to use as excuse, you know, sometimes I'm like, no, that's like a long time ago and you need to be stronger and just like rise to the occasion.

26:43.206 --> 26:44.528
[SPEAKER_01]: But there is an emptiness in me.

26:44.548 --> 26:46.710
[SPEAKER_01]: I just can't fight, you know, put it down.

26:46.730 --> 26:50.013
[SPEAKER_01]: Like why am I crying over like movies all the time in songs and stuff?

26:51.895 --> 26:54.318
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I feel very vulnerable nowadays too.

26:54.358 --> 26:54.538
[SPEAKER_01]: So,

26:56.136 --> 27:05.044
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think helping people really does bring my human side and my side that I've always had that.

27:05.284 --> 27:15.413
[SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to show, it's just I was lost for a long time, but now it's kind of like, it's coming out and I'm just saying, ah, like this is, I like helping people, you know, so.

27:16.825 --> 27:18.546
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, dude, I mean, I get it.

27:18.746 --> 27:23.489
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that, you know, you mentioned that either still this work to be done.

27:23.889 --> 27:25.730
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know that the work ever stops.

27:26.351 --> 27:29.533
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I've been in therapy for decades.

27:29.853 --> 27:30.893
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm still doing the work.

27:30.934 --> 27:34.516
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been in coaching for decades, still doing the work.

27:34.636 --> 27:36.317
[SPEAKER_00]: Still every, you know, I,

27:37.449 --> 27:54.339
[SPEAKER_00]: I've thought about this a lot, especially over the course of the last probably two years and I feel that so much of the journey is sitting in it just day by day and choosing to do the right thing not necessarily for the world because like.

27:55.159 --> 28:00.002
[SPEAKER_00]: probably in the macro, it's not as important as what you do in the micro and like this moment.

28:00.963 --> 28:05.446
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think that a big part of it is like in this moment, how am I showing up?

28:05.826 --> 28:08.407
[SPEAKER_00]: In this moment, did I do what I said I was going to do?

28:08.808 --> 28:13.290
[SPEAKER_00]: And that does not always mean going 100 miles an hour by the way.

28:13.651 --> 28:14.931
[SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't mean always

28:15.812 --> 28:23.075
[SPEAKER_00]: going and crushing life, sometimes it means, hey, I need to take a step back and chill on the couch for an afternoon.

28:23.455 --> 28:25.235
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it means therapy.

28:25.295 --> 28:26.336
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it means coaching.

28:26.416 --> 28:33.438
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it means I have to put the box of beer in the fridge and leave it alone and learn how to care for myself.

28:34.038 --> 28:35.819
[SPEAKER_00]: And the hard part is it's different.

28:36.519 --> 28:39.140
[SPEAKER_00]: I've come to realize now a decade

28:44.971 --> 28:46.592
[SPEAKER_00]: Not everyone's journey is the same.

28:46.632 --> 28:48.633
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, not even my journey is the same.

28:49.053 --> 28:58.278
[SPEAKER_00]: I go, I look at some of the things that I do today and they're wildly different than the things that I did to or five or seven or 10 years ago.

28:59.058 --> 29:01.019
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's a constant evolution.

29:01.039 --> 29:10.764
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think one of the hardest things about the evolution is whether or not we like it, our childhood and forms who we are, you just, you can't escape it.

29:14.266 --> 29:19.947
[SPEAKER_00]: being a person who chooses themselves on the daily, that's the way that you heal.

29:20.487 --> 29:36.190
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's super difficult because if you don't understand and you can't name who you are and what you want, then you can't go down this path, but you can't get there if you're freaking drunk and high all the time.

29:36.831 --> 29:39.031
[SPEAKER_00]: And for me, I'll never forget this.

29:39.091 --> 29:40.411
[SPEAKER_00]: One of the most incredible

29:43.872 --> 29:48.473
[SPEAKER_00]: the sobriety in my thirties that required me to sit with myself.

29:49.153 --> 29:57.636
[SPEAKER_00]: You talked about, you know, sometimes you'll cry, you know, like, I don't even know why, bro, I relate to that, like you would not believe, because it would just, it would come up.

29:57.696 --> 29:59.896
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

30:00.396 --> 30:04.637
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just realized it was decades of trapped emotions trying to escape, you know.

30:05.738 --> 30:06.258
[SPEAKER_01]: It's fine.

30:06.538 --> 30:06.758
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

30:07.798 --> 30:26.412
[SPEAKER_00]: So what would you tell to somebody who is listening right now, they're resonating with this and maybe they have fear about their journey, maybe they have fear about the business, maybe a fear about letting go of the friends, or the drugs, or the alcohol, or whatever that thing is that's holding them back.

30:26.912 --> 30:30.775
[SPEAKER_01]: I know it's tough, like it took me this many years to let go of all my friends pretty much.

30:35.745 --> 30:51.446
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I think you have to sit and analyze yourself and who these friends are if they're quality friends if they're going to drag you down, if they're actually like happy for you when you succeed is some people, um, they, they act like they care, but when push comes to shove.

30:53.072 --> 30:54.593
[SPEAKER_01]: They're not there for you for a lot of things.

30:54.613 --> 30:56.154
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, when you need help, they're not there.

30:56.214 --> 30:58.215
[SPEAKER_01]: Like they'll judge you for everything you do.

30:58.355 --> 31:07.880
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think you need to like, just look at yourself and if you're happy, you know, like if you look at the mirror, like how happy are you with these people in your life?

31:07.960 --> 31:12.282
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you're not good for you, just the best is like a cleanse, you know, it's like releasing them.

31:13.202 --> 31:16.324
[SPEAKER_01]: For me, I think some of them didn't understand what I did it, but I just,

31:16.864 --> 31:27.088
[SPEAKER_01]: I think they deep inside they did, but then I just, I just cut everybody off and they'll look at my Instagram, they'll look at my social media, but I don't, I don't reach out to them.

31:27.708 --> 31:42.053
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just focusing on my own self healing in so many ways that I don't think, like, I would, I think if I met some people, there were really two people, I'll feel them out, then I'll probably kind of,

31:42.700 --> 31:46.245
[SPEAKER_01]: invite them in to hang out and so but I don't have a big inner circle right now.

31:46.966 --> 31:54.757
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, but I feel like everyone should have some really good best friends or close friends, but do you have to be careful like who your friends are nowadays, right?

31:54.777 --> 31:58.702
[SPEAKER_01]: So, focus on yourself and like, uh, get the help you need.

32:00.003 --> 32:22.113
[SPEAKER_01]: going sober was the best thing I've ever done, you know, I didn't want to go to my senior events drunk or hungover or chung up a podcast on the over sharing my life and my journey like hover over and looking like I've never slept at life, you know, weeks or days like yeah, I think it to be a good role model like you got to up just

32:23.160 --> 32:27.325
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, just got to remove the negativity for your life and go forward.

32:27.525 --> 32:28.326
[SPEAKER_01]: It's hard.

32:28.446 --> 32:30.068
[SPEAKER_01]: It's easy said and done, right?

32:31.229 --> 32:34.693
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it is, but you have a just like, what do you want?

32:34.713 --> 32:39.939
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you want the life that you have or do you want the life that you're capable of having?

32:40.479 --> 32:41.580
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that

32:42.682 --> 32:48.028
[SPEAKER_00]: what is so beautiful about the human experience, it all can be different in a moment.

32:48.468 --> 32:55.375
[SPEAKER_00]: Every single day of your life you are one or two decisions away from an entirely different life and it's scary.

32:55.455 --> 32:56.076
[SPEAKER_00]: It's scary.

32:56.456 --> 32:56.836
[SPEAKER_00]: Cool.

32:57.697 --> 33:05.245
[SPEAKER_00]: To me what's more scary than a hard decision is looking back on my life and being like, dude, you didn't do anything.

33:05.853 --> 33:25.960
[SPEAKER_00]: you didn't live and and that can be really difficult because if you've made mistakes and man I've made I've made horrible mistakes I've done things in my life that I look back on and I think to myself while I can't believe that I can still be here in this moment with all of the things that have transpired.

33:26.800 --> 33:37.777
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's funny because I was thinking about this when I was coaching a client recently and I was trying to push them into this understanding and this idea of it's like be in this moment.

33:38.777 --> 33:44.841
[SPEAKER_00]: be right here right now, not yesterday, not tomorrow because those things don't matter.

33:45.422 --> 33:57.931
[SPEAKER_00]: Of course you want to have goals and you also have to look back at the past sometimes to understand and evaluate how you got to where you are, but I think so much of it is you have to be able to come into this moment and make hard decisions.

33:58.853 --> 34:16.526
[SPEAKER_00]: What you mentioned that you really are thinking through a lot of the choices and the decisions that you make now, I want to talk about that because I think this is an area that people tend to get lost because it requires just this wild amount of resilience to build and create a change in your life.

34:17.427 --> 34:26.113
[SPEAKER_00]: When you're in the present moment and you're facing these really hard decisions, how are you thinking this through, how are you making decisions in real time.

34:27.857 --> 34:39.004
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, like, just I just keep telling myself, don't make the same mistakes as I've done in the past, right, and that four millis seems to be working and just working hard not taking shortcuts.

34:40.645 --> 34:44.568
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, making sure you're you're in a healthy mind space to do this stuff.

34:46.088 --> 35:05.322
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I said, a lot of this stuff I've never done it for like decades, you know, I was always to rely on other people, but now that I make all the decisions for a company, I don't want to fail, you know, I'm so strict with how we training the staff later, I want them to be perfect, you know, like treat this business, treat the seniors, treat my clients like they're, you know, they're, you know, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they

35:06.260 --> 35:17.816
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, they're, they're like human beings, you know, you gotta be like very interactive with them and just connect with them, you know, some people might even say I'm like, I don't push sales enough, which is fine.

35:18.037 --> 35:20.821
[SPEAKER_01]: Like for me, it's like I like that connection and

35:21.842 --> 35:23.703
[SPEAKER_01]: And eventually everything will come with it, right?

35:23.723 --> 35:36.812
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I think people really respect that I take the time and I drive across the city, city by city, drive 21 locations and two weeks just to see seniors and work with them individually in groups.

35:37.592 --> 35:43.016
[SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes I might not say, I think, you know, it's just the one on one.

35:44.288 --> 36:07.080
[SPEAKER_01]: just the, the more the intimate connection with people is what keeps making me a better person I think, because before it was just partying and thinking, you know, just the my mind frame was definitely not not there, but being being not the servant, I guess, the servant of God, you was either the exact that person that, you know, I think that's what I was meant to do.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Right now, this is my path is to to help as many people as possible in my own way, I guess,

36:14.968 --> 36:24.517
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think that's that's that's how I make decisions now just don't list another people just listen to yourself What you think is the best solution?

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[SPEAKER_01]: and don't make any mistakes for me past and you should be pretty good.

36:30.701 --> 36:38.926
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's, you know, there's some truth to taking your own experiences and not doing them again.

36:38.946 --> 36:47.010
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that's, I can't imagine what my life would be like if I was still doing the same crap I was doing when I was 25 years old.

36:48.171 --> 37:15.527
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I just I can't imagine how bad it would be, you know, and so I think that there's there's something really powerful about that and it's and every single day in those moments it's also choosing yourself make it really it's like do you do you love yourself enough to at least try because maybe you don't do it honestly maybe you're in a really shitty place right now in life is just not working and everything is upside down and you're like I'm about to go bankrupt and I'm broken up and I'm

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[SPEAKER_00]: Bottles up and everything is not going my direction.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, okay, cool, make a fucking decision right now.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Do something different in this moment.

37:25.234 --> 37:28.296
[SPEAKER_00]: And the snowball effect will happen in time.

37:28.956 --> 37:36.462
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you look back at your life 15 months ago, 18 months ago, probably doesn't look or feel like you thought it would.

37:37.102 --> 37:38.143
[SPEAKER_00]: And yet, here you are.

37:38.183 --> 37:40.185
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think so much of life is about that.

37:40.225 --> 37:44.468
[SPEAKER_00]: It's it's sitting this moment and decide about would I had a

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I've been thinking about this a lot too recently.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I said, would future UB proud of the decisions you're making today?

37:53.855 --> 37:57.636
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's just one of the most true things that I've ever heard in my life.

37:57.736 --> 38:00.337
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, would future you be proud.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's a great leverage point for the way that you're operating in your daily life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Michael, before I ask you my last question, tell everyone where they can find you, learn more about this incredible project that you're working on, and connect with you a face-eat fit.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, things have come a long ways, we've been in business for two and a half years.

38:22.909 --> 38:26.174
[SPEAKER_01]: We upgraded our new assistive here in device.

38:29.067 --> 38:40.291
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a new way of hearing, so people that don't wear hearing aids, allergic, or just don't think it too expensive, they can try hours, right, hours is open here, so nothing goes in your ear.

38:40.711 --> 38:43.131
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's just a new concept of people liking that.

38:43.151 --> 38:50.674
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, you know, you know, you got your last build up and you just, you can wear something that's affordable, which is what I'm trying to do my vision is to help everyone.

38:51.234 --> 38:54.095
[SPEAKER_01]: So children, laborers, people all ages, all walks of life.

38:56.056 --> 38:56.937
[SPEAKER_01]: low income people.

38:56.977 --> 38:57.677
[SPEAKER_01]: That's why I want to help.

38:58.077 --> 39:00.179
[SPEAKER_01]: And that makes up for a big population of the world.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Most people are low income, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: And they can't afford expensive hearing products.

39:04.481 --> 39:06.202
[SPEAKER_01]: So this is where we're at.

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[SPEAKER_01]: We have a great concept that's healthy, affordable, accessible.

39:10.425 --> 39:11.706
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm trying to bring it global.

39:12.987 --> 39:16.749
[SPEAKER_01]: I just finished dragons, then yesterday audition, they were very impressed.

39:16.989 --> 39:20.952
[SPEAKER_01]: And the, it sounds like it's going to, it's leaning towards that decision, but

39:23.333 --> 39:28.218
[SPEAKER_01]: They can find me on my two websites, www.theinterflow.com.

39:28.459 --> 39:34.886
[SPEAKER_01]: So, T-H-E, I-N-N-E-R, F-L-O, no W. So, put the W, they will get something else.

39:35.386 --> 39:36.027
[SPEAKER_01]: Or dot C-A.

39:36.107 --> 39:39.751
[SPEAKER_01]: So, and Instagram is at the floor group.

39:40.752 --> 39:44.636
[SPEAKER_01]: And also the Facebook is the floor group as well.

39:45.768 --> 39:51.350
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and guys, if you're going to think on broken podcasts.com, you'll find that and more in the show notes.

39:51.870 --> 39:53.270
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, ask questions for my friend.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What does it mean to you to be unbroken?

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[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's like being free from free from the past, free just letting go of a lot of the

40:06.033 --> 40:23.182
[SPEAKER_01]: of a lot of the heaviness, you know, I was like rising, like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, you know, having a second chance to be better and try to not erase the past, but just create a new future, right, and new.

40:24.103 --> 40:25.683
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's exciting for me.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So, you know, I think everyone can do it.

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[SPEAKER_01]: If they do, I hard enough, you know.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, my agree with Knot agree with you more.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, you're living testimony of that because to go from life just is not working to, I'm going to help other people make their life work.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that's incredible and beautiful.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And you should be very proud of yourself.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Unbrokenation, my friends.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for listening.

40:49.288 --> 40:51.330
[SPEAKER_00]: If you got any value out of today's episode,

40:51.610 --> 41:08.976
[SPEAKER_00]: Please make sure that you share this with someone in your life, especially if they have difficulties with hearing because maybe the flow group could help them create a massive change in their life to carry yourselves to carry each other and until next time my friends be unbroken.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'll see you.