Rules Of Life Have Changed: Escape The Information Trap And Build A Life With No Regrets | With Paul Levitin

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[SPEAKER_00]: At some point in our life, we have to choose us.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We have to choose whether or not we are going to be the hero of our own story.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to follow through.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We're going to do the things that we say we're going to do.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And even sometimes if we're going to show up and live life in accordance and full authenticity for the person that we believe that we are.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And today's guest, a friend of the show has been on before Paul of a 10 is going to dive into that with us.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're stuck, if you're lost, if you're having one of these moments in your life, or you're like, who the hell am I?

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[SPEAKER_00]: You might want to listen.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Paul, my friend, how are you?

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[SPEAKER_00]: What's happening in your world today?

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[SPEAKER_02]: I'm doing quite well.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you so much for having me, Michael.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I'm super excited to be here and just excited to dig into this and help some people change maybe.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, you know, I don't know about you, but I think that it's our obligation to help people who we once were.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think for me, the thing that I've kind of sat in, especially over the last couple of years, you know, we're approaching nine plus years of this show with thousand episodes.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We've had so many conversations and the thing that I keep sitting in is, well, what happens next?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Right?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so there's been a handful of people who have had on the show

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm just wondering, what happens next?

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, people with some of the podcasts and they get into life and they're like, well, life's not working.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What are we missing?

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[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, life's not working.

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[SPEAKER_02]: That's kind of the big question is, I come up against over and over.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, we live in the age of information, literally, right?

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[SPEAKER_02]: We think the last time we talked AI wasn't even a thing yet.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But even then, Google was a thing,

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[SPEAKER_02]: Well, the answers are out there, right?

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[SPEAKER_02]: Any question that you have for anything, the big, I call the big three pillars of life, health, wealth, and relationships, but any question you have about anything in life, the internet is there.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Google couldn't, could've answered it 20 years ago and now chat GPT can answer it faster and better.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And yet, I don't know about you, but it seems to me like,

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[SPEAKER_02]: people are struggling now more than ever.

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[SPEAKER_02]: People are more stuck, more unhappy, more out of shape, more everything that every negative metric that you can track, it seems to be going up rather than down.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And those two things don't make sense to me because why do things not work if we have all the information?

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[SPEAKER_02]: And it brings me to the simplest solution, which is that the problem was never lack of information to begin with.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I think that this is something that we have to get over,

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[SPEAKER_02]: except if we want to make any meaningful change is that you never had an information problem.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Because so many people think they're just like, well, when I just find out the answer, that one solution that, you know, the, tell me the, the workout, the diet, the routine, the morning routine, the evening routine, the, the perfect productivity planer.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And then once that one thing happens and everything else will cascade,

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[SPEAKER_02]: into being.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And we're seeing that that's just not the case because we've been handed the keys to the castle and we're still fumbling the ball.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know, it's funny.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Just yesterday, I made, I decided to start a new channel called the Coach Michael Anthony Unbroken podcast, just a whole fucking mouthful.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But it was, it's just solo content, right?

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[SPEAKER_00]: So we started a new YouTube, a new TikTok all that stuff.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And the very first thing that I was talking about was this.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, mental masturbation is ruining people's lives.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And it's a thing like, dude, I suffer from it sometimes.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I run multiple seven figure companies.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I travel the world speaking, I've written on these books.

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[SPEAKER_00]: This pocket, and sometimes, dude, I just sit here like in scrolling hell.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Until I have this moment where I pull myself out of it and some do sometimes it's 38 seconds and sometimes it 38 minutes like just full transparency and and I realize like so much of it is the overwhelm of the world that we live in and I caught myself the other day.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I had this internal dialogue with myself because my biggest goal my life is to not die with regret.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like nothing matters to me more.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was thinking, well, okay, if for instance, I spend an accumulative time of 20 years on social media, which is absolutely happening to people.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Between the space we're in and the space tell they die, I'm like, if you just wasted 20 years on your phone,

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[SPEAKER_00]: your last thought before death is going to be regret.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But dude, I think people are stuck.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think they're frozen.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like an almost a literal sense, or you see in that too, and how's this all impacting your life?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because dude, sometimes I have to catch myself.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, 100%, I mean, so it's funny, I've used the term in the past, like you said mental masturbation, which I love that too, but it's like a coach of mine actually wants to tell me that he called it info beast.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's like being obese, but with information.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And it's constant consumption, right?

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[SPEAKER_02]: Like someone who's super overweight is consuming more calories than they need.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Calories that could, if you needed them, be put to a good use in your body.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And people are doing the same thing with information.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's natural and this is why I don't fault anyone for it.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's like even right now with like Wars going on things happening like my fiance's asked me she's like, oh, did you hear what happened it?

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[SPEAKER_02]: I look already at airport.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I guess like a plane crashed or something like that and I'm just like no I haven't gone on social media and she's like what like you're so like disconnected and it's just like yeah Because if I go I'll get sucked into it and like two hours of my life will just be gone before the blink of an eye

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[SPEAKER_02]: reality is we're playing a game that we're set up to fail.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You know when you talk about and you talk about and again you know I like to talk about just in generalities because really everything that we're talking about with social media is the same thing about junk food is the same thing about porn.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Whatever things that you find yourself stuck in

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[SPEAKER_02]: You're stuck there for a reason.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Because these things are not designed for humans.

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[SPEAKER_02]: These things we are animals at the end of the day and our brains are not adapted to live in a world where I can scroll and get the most

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[SPEAKER_02]: The thing makes me laugh.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I kick cock is funny.

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[SPEAKER_02]: TikTok or Instagram reels, whatever.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's fun.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's funny that like a Dorito is so far removed from anything that nature would have ever intended.

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[SPEAKER_02]: A caveman's brain would explode, you know, from a twinking, you know what I mean?

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[SPEAKER_02]: And so it's like, you're

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[SPEAKER_02]: You're literally set up to fail in this because all of those corporations make a lot of money when you stay stuck when you say sick when you say when you stay addicted to all of these things so it's it's literally a David versus Goliath scenario where we are built to to fail right now in the current environment that we live in and I start there because I think that at least to me it takes a lot of the pressure off this isn't a

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[SPEAKER_02]: a weakness thing, this isn't a you just don't you just need to try harder you just need to man up you just need to more motivation more discipline more will power more great all of these words is funny like I use the they all mean the same thing to me which is nothing right because people go oh like I'm people all the time I've been a personal trainer for years nutrition coach a coach all these different things that people are saying oh I just can you help me get motivated I just need to be more motivated or then they'll go oh but I don't need to be motivated I need more willpower.

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[SPEAKER_02]: They're like, oh, well, I know I don't need willpower.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I need discipline.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, you're just using one nonsense word instead of another.

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[SPEAKER_02]: That's like telling someone, drowning, you just need air.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, yes, I know that's what you need.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But they haven't made a pill for willpower motivation or discipline yet.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So you're not actually telling me anything.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You're just saying like, oh, I just need this thing that is impossible to get.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And so I think that the starting place is to go like, none of that matters.

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[SPEAKER_02]: you're fighting a battle that is uphill from the beginning because you're fighting against technology, you're fighting against every Harvard Stanford MIT graduate gets scooped up by Nabisco and Nestle to go work in some test kitchen to make the next craziest snack that will melt your fucking brain.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And that's what you're supposed to avoid and eat a fucking salad.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, you know, it's just not it's just not realistic.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You know, so meet ourselves there and then now we can start to talk about like what comes next.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's super fair.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think people talk about that enough.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, they kind of do, but it's like glossed over.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We are built to fell right now, and you see it everywhere.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because I've learned to be very good about the way I eat, because I was morbidly obese, I was 350 pounds.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I'm six foot four, so I carried it pretty well, and I played sports most in my life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But now I'm 220, right?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And it was all about the food decision I would make.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But the other day, dude, I go to fucking Trader Joe's.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm in Trader Joe's, and they have these lime chili corn chips.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And bro, I was, and they had a sample.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Dude, this is how they got me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not gonna lie straight up.

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[SPEAKER_00]: This is real talk.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It was just how Trader Joe's got me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: They had a sample of the lime chili corn chips.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I tried it, and I ate one, and I was like, oh, I've got to get this bag.

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[SPEAKER_00]: In my day-to-day life, that stuff does not exist.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's not anywhere near me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But I was in this space where I was like, you know what?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to try this today.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I fucking kid you not.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That was three weeks ago.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I have thought about those chips every day for three weeks.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I do not eat like that.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You know, it's funny.

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[SPEAKER_02]: There's just a random, random handkerchief, but what you talk about trader Joe's, trader Joe's is even the most insidious one of them because just think that, like, how many people, I know I do, you just assume, for some reason, the trader Joe's is healthy.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's like the healthy store or something like that.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, oh, like they have these healthy meals and it's like, there are no healthier than any other thing.

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[SPEAKER_02]: They've done a genius marketing, but I talk about, you know, I'm a candy guy, right?

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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, that's my thing, it's like sweet, right?

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[SPEAKER_02]: So it's like, I talk about fucking nerds clusters.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, you know, those are the nurse clusters, okay.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Well, they're, you know, nerds are.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, of course.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So they're nerds wrapped around gummy.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So like, right, right, right.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I don't need that around me, Paul.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Right.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So when I eat this, I'm thinking, I'm like, this is literally, it's sweet, it's tangy, it's chewy, it's crunchy.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Like it's literally of a scientist, a team of scientists, sat in a room and what, how do we best,

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[SPEAKER_02]: trick the dopamine receptor of a human and they put it into a fucking thing and now I eat a thousand calories of it you know like that that was never my brain was not meant to ever have to make that decision in the same way my brain was never meant to see all the attractive women that I see that my brain was never meant to see all the the successful men that I see in a hundred years ago even your your parents and not your parents or grandparents never would have met more than a hundred people in their life.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You know, you live in the town, you live in, you meet the people you meet that you got one hot guy, you got one hot girl.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, everyone else is average and like that's it.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And now you see before you like you wake up in the morning, you open Instagram and you've seen a thousand models flying on planes and Tahiti or something like that.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And it's like, you know, and then you beat yourself up about it.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And that's the double whammy where it's like, well, it's like, oh my gosh, I should be here or all of these things that start to go through our head, which again, are naturally protective because in a world where those things are in balance.

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[SPEAKER_02]: where there is a realistic social hierarchy where I'm in my town and there's the football jock is like the top of the food chain or something in my high school, but the high school is only 100 kids, like seeing him and feeling a little jealous or something like that might push me to

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[SPEAKER_02]: go to the gym or push me to start to work on my social skills or something like that because that's just generally how animals work, right?

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[SPEAKER_02]: It makes do this, elephants do this, we all do it.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But when now I'm comparing myself to 8 billion people, which is a number that my brain can't even rationalize, it's like, make that make sense, you know?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they're totally why was that a Dallas stars and in Las Vegas Golden Knights hockey game the other night and I'm there with my girl and we're watching and I mean there's got to be 20,000 people in this stadium you barely fathom that when you're looking around it's like 20,000 people and so you're you're looking at social all day and Paul, I'll be honest with you like.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I am a marketer first like when it comes to like this because I can't help people change the world in their life if they don't consume the content if they don't read the books if they don't follow down the path of becoming a part of the community and there's a part of me where.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And this is just, and they know this because they're my team, my team does all this stuff for me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Dude, I am such an addict because I am an addict, like I can't sit here and be on fucking social media.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I can make the content, I can write the books, I can speak on the stages, I can do the podcast, but if you're like, hey, Michael, I need you to log in and post something dude, I might as well be smoking crack because I've had to move through so many different

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[SPEAKER_00]: because I know the game that we're playing as people who want to change the world and content creators that I do feel a little bit guilty, but at the same time I'm like, I can single handedly point the changes of hundreds if not thousands of people's lives to the fact that we have social media and I'm able to put that content out.

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[SPEAKER_00]: so it's as weird double whammy, right?

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[SPEAKER_00]: But some people they go on their feeds and it's just the worst things imaginable.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think because I tailored mine before I handed it off to the team, mine was just like mainly just dirty stuff I'd send my girl.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And like, you know, weird memes that send my, my boy is, and then I'd be like, if anybody ever sees this, I'm gonna get canceled.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I think there's a use case for it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That's not the worst thing in the world, but the dope, I mean, I interviewed Anna Lemke.

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[SPEAKER_00]: She read a book called Dupamine Nation and dude, everyone should read that book.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because this dopeamine war that we're in right now is wild and you spoke about these corporations, there nobody who runs these major social media corporations either uses or allows their family members to use the social media platforms.

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[SPEAKER_02]: right and so does that mean that the rest of us are just weak or are we not seeing the forest for the tree you know what I mean yeah I think I mean I think that you're 100% right like there's a benefit to all of this you know even AI show media everything is

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[SPEAKER_02]: probably is good in some sense and probably more good than bad.

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[SPEAKER_02]: If I had to put it on a scale and weigh it out for all the damage, I do think social media is horrible, it's bad for kids, it's rotting people's brains and stuff, but it brings people together.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It allows people to connect, we're able to meet and then talk, you know, technology is amazing.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's the same thing as like, you know, people who, who, who, who, like, Western medicine doesn't be like, oh, like, you should be, you know, fucking doing our evaded cleanse as

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[SPEAKER_02]: We don't have cure cancer by cutting it out of your body like that stuff some stuff is just amazing We need to give it the credit where it's due totally totally short But on the other side of that is like we have to just respect things for what they are and that's why you know my whole thing is All right, so it's like now we see all this we see the game that we're playing right so like that's the first thing first step one is Understand what the game is understand the rules to the game right imagine you're playing monopoly, right?

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[SPEAKER_02]: But they hand you the game and you've never played Monopoly.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's sealed in the box.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You open the wrapper.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You open it up.

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[SPEAKER_02]: There's no instructions.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And they say have fun.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what are the chances that you're actually going to A even play the game correctly or B win?

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[SPEAKER_02]: Probably zero percent.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Right.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So that's what this is.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We're just talking about the literal rules of life of the world that we live in right now the rules were different 20 years ago They were different 50 years ago for your parents your grandparents and today since AI and all that stuff We have different rules and we have to know those rules to move forward because now because guaranteed that you're going to win the game

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[SPEAKER_02]: But it gives you a chance to play the game correctly, and that gives you the best chance at actually winning.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So that's where we start, right?

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's like we understand the rules of the game.

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[SPEAKER_02]: The game was set up for us to fail.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We got all these corporations.

16:37.667 --> 16:41.688
[SPEAKER_02]: The food is fucked to the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the apps are fucked to the.

16:41.788 --> 16:44.669
[SPEAKER_02]: Everything is, doing is, is sucking our life force away.

16:44.909 --> 16:45.529
[SPEAKER_02]: Now what?

16:46.189 --> 16:48.770
[SPEAKER_02]: And I guess that have been a personal trainer.

16:48.790 --> 16:50.651
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been a coach of how people move their bodies.

16:50.691 --> 16:52.031
[SPEAKER_02]: I've helped people change their mindset.

16:53.151 --> 16:54.952
[SPEAKER_02]: And I go back to that where we started with,

16:57.347 --> 16:58.548
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not the answer though, right?

16:58.568 --> 17:03.211
[SPEAKER_02]: Like we know everyone has the same access to the same information and not everyone that's what someone else.

17:03.611 --> 17:12.397
[SPEAKER_02]: The only thing that I can come to to help the most people change of the same dream as you help as many people in the world change is that you have to make it easier on yourself.

17:13.137 --> 17:18.583
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that so many people like I was saying before, they think that they just need to willpower white knuckle their way through it.

17:18.603 --> 17:21.586
[SPEAKER_02]: They're like, this thing is really hard, so I just need to be better.

17:21.606 --> 17:26.671
[SPEAKER_02]: I need to raise my standards and I need to get higher and do more and then I'll reach that goal.

17:27.272 --> 17:31.316
[SPEAKER_02]: And that can work for some people, for some goals.

17:33.203 --> 17:35.324
[SPEAKER_02]: where it doesn't work in my experience.

17:35.524 --> 17:37.065
[SPEAKER_02]: And you could correct me if you're wrong.

17:37.105 --> 17:45.230
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm excited to talk to you about this because I feel like you will have a very specific stance on this, but that doesn't work in my experience with life goals.

17:45.950 --> 17:52.274
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you have a work project that has a hard deadline, three months from now,

17:53.186 --> 18:00.109
[SPEAKER_02]: You fucking lock in late nights, early mornings, no sleep, caffeine pills, whatever you need to do to get that thing done.

18:00.449 --> 18:01.370
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure, that works.

18:02.010 --> 18:04.451
[SPEAKER_02]: But for life, I just want to be healthy.

18:05.012 --> 18:05.792
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to be happy.

18:06.312 --> 18:07.473
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to have a good relationship.

18:08.492 --> 18:11.673
[SPEAKER_02]: you cannot white knuckle your way to that goal because that goal never ends.

18:12.293 --> 18:14.754
[SPEAKER_02]: There is no finish line, there's no off switch for that.

18:15.155 --> 18:22.857
[SPEAKER_02]: So if your way to be healthy is, I hate this diet, but I just have to motivate my, I just have to stay motivated and up to do it.

18:23.098 --> 18:23.938
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, until when?

18:24.438 --> 18:25.578
[SPEAKER_02]: When does that never ends?

18:25.879 --> 18:30.600
[SPEAKER_02]: So eventually what you're saying is, I'm gonna run out of willpower eventually because we know that willpower is finite.

18:30.620 --> 18:31.341
[SPEAKER_02]: They've done the research.

18:31.601 --> 18:32.821
[SPEAKER_02]: We know that motivation is finite.

18:32.941 --> 18:34.522
[SPEAKER_02]: Eventually that thing is going to fizzle out.

18:35.062 --> 18:40.186
[SPEAKER_02]: and I'm going to go back to doing what I was doing before or I'm going to go into backslide in some way.

18:40.826 --> 18:46.010
[SPEAKER_02]: So for those type of goals, the goals that what's one might call the infinite goals infinite gate, right?

18:46.030 --> 18:48.592
[SPEAKER_02]: These are things with no start or no end, they just go on forever.

18:48.973 --> 18:53.176
[SPEAKER_02]: For those things, I don't think the answer is to just do better.

18:53.496 --> 18:55.878
[SPEAKER_02]: I think the goal is to move the goal post.

18:56.438 --> 19:01.462
[SPEAKER_02]: Make it easier for yourself so that the thing that you want to do is actually appealing

19:03.727 --> 19:04.507
[SPEAKER_02]: want to do the thing.

19:04.887 --> 19:07.468
[SPEAKER_02]: When you want to do what you keep showing up, when you keep showing up, you get the result.

19:07.588 --> 19:10.549
[SPEAKER_02]: I haven't figured out a better answer for all of this than that.

19:11.829 --> 19:12.209
[SPEAKER_00]: I agree.

19:12.469 --> 19:14.830
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'll add this because it's the way I see it.

19:15.450 --> 19:17.431
[SPEAKER_00]: A confused mind will always fail.

19:17.971 --> 19:20.831
[SPEAKER_00]: And so people are out here without goal.

19:21.112 --> 19:21.992
[SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, I

19:23.065 --> 19:26.006
[SPEAKER_00]: The last two years of my life have been pretty difficult.

19:26.626 --> 19:29.787
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think a big reason, I don't think I know.

19:30.207 --> 19:40.290
[SPEAKER_00]: I know that the reason the last couple years of my life have been so difficult is because I accomplished all the goals I had set way faster than I ever imagined that I would, except one.

19:40.310 --> 19:42.371
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm still not a New York Times bestselling author.

19:42.711 --> 19:45.133
[SPEAKER_00]: But I did pretty much everything else I set out to do.

19:45.473 --> 19:46.835
[SPEAKER_00]: I was nominated a coach of the year.

19:46.875 --> 19:49.337
[SPEAKER_00]: This podcast is one of the biggest podcasts in the world.

19:50.117 --> 19:54.581
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I did become a best-selling author on Amazon and Kindle and blah, blah, blah.

19:54.861 --> 19:55.822
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, so many good things.

19:55.862 --> 19:58.364
[SPEAKER_00]: I've coached thousands and thousands of people, right?

19:58.745 --> 20:00.426
[SPEAKER_00]: Spoken on the biggest stages in the world.

20:00.846 --> 20:02.148
[SPEAKER_00]: I did all that before I was 40.

20:02.768 --> 20:05.109
[SPEAKER_00]: really, I did most of that before I was even 36.

20:05.649 --> 20:08.490
[SPEAKER_00]: And so then I was like, okay, well, I guess this is just what I do.

20:08.510 --> 20:10.671
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just going to keep speaking and keep doing this, keep doing that.

20:11.131 --> 20:17.053
[SPEAKER_00]: And and you talked about this idea of like the long game dude, I was so burned out at 38.

20:17.233 --> 20:27.756
[SPEAKER_00]: I was ready to shut all of this down because it was nonstop travel, nonstop this, nonstop that there was no breaks and it was all in this pursuit.

20:28.317 --> 20:29.237
[SPEAKER_00]: Part of it is

20:32.478 --> 20:37.460
[SPEAKER_00]: part of it was there are rooms that I want to be and then I haven't been invited into yet.

20:37.920 --> 20:40.081
[SPEAKER_00]: And that pissed me off and I'm super competitive.

20:40.241 --> 20:41.262
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you brought up Monopoly.

20:41.442 --> 20:43.623
[SPEAKER_00]: Dude, nobody will play Monopoly with me.

20:43.823 --> 20:44.883
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm very competitive.

20:44.903 --> 20:48.305
[SPEAKER_00]: It's sitting over here in the studio for recording when guests come in.

20:48.325 --> 20:49.826
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, let's sit down and play Monopoly.

20:50.086 --> 20:51.266
[SPEAKER_00]: Nobody ever wants to play Monopoly.

20:51.306 --> 20:51.906
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just saying.

20:52.187 --> 20:53.827
[SPEAKER_00]: And so like, you know, I'm competitive.

20:53.887 --> 20:55.048
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to win.

20:55.628 --> 20:59.070
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that that's a thing that some people have in some people don't.

20:59.611 --> 21:06.235
[SPEAKER_00]: But in this last couple of years, one of the resets that I've had to have is you talked about moving the goal pose.

21:07.036 --> 21:09.818
[SPEAKER_00]: I just moved it into perception of time.

21:10.238 --> 21:12.620
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't move what I wanted to accomplish.

21:12.960 --> 21:19.665
[SPEAKER_00]: I just moved it based on the evaluation of the energy over a long enough period of time in the macro.

21:20.005 --> 21:25.729
[SPEAKER_00]: And I adjusted my actions in the micro and that's one of the things that you hear people talk about a lot.

21:26.090 --> 21:29.512
[SPEAKER_00]: But until you experience it, you don't, I didn't understand it.

21:29.952 --> 21:35.897
[SPEAKER_00]: And so what I had to do in reevaluation of, well, what do I want the next 45 years to look like?

21:36.357 --> 21:38.820
[SPEAKER_00]: My, my hope is I get to live to 85.

21:38.920 --> 21:40.241
[SPEAKER_00]: That's kind of the window.

21:40.461 --> 21:46.988
[SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of the path that's where I'm headed and I'm like, okay, I'm not even technically at the halfway point yet.

21:47.348 --> 21:51.973
[SPEAKER_00]: I've done all these things, but let me see if I can make an adjustment.

21:52.533 --> 22:05.338
[SPEAKER_00]: because to tell you the truth, if I wouldn't have had this really intense burnout that led me to not doing a lot over the course of the last two years, I wouldn't now be in the position I'm in, which now I'm fired back up.

22:05.398 --> 22:19.023
[SPEAKER_00]: And we have clear, concise goals that are manageable in my day-to-day life along with me and my team, instead of what it was of a hundred miles an hour, all day, every day, which the last decade has been.

22:19.463 --> 22:20.804
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think you're spot on.

22:20.824 --> 22:32.791
[SPEAKER_00]: I think the hardest part of it, though, is the sitting and the rationalization of the reality that you have time, especially if you're a competitive person, because when I think about it,

22:33.845 --> 22:35.186
[SPEAKER_00]: Paul, I want it yesterday.

22:35.206 --> 22:36.746
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want it in for it.

22:36.766 --> 22:38.107
[SPEAKER_00]: I want it fucking yesterday.

22:38.447 --> 22:43.989
[SPEAKER_00]: And so changing the way that I viewed that and learning that patience is a skill.

22:44.109 --> 22:45.470
[SPEAKER_00]: It is not a virtue.

22:45.770 --> 22:54.993
[SPEAKER_00]: Is a fucking skill you have to sharpen it like iron is one of the greatest things that have come out of the hardest last two years of my 30s.

22:55.073 --> 22:59.875
[SPEAKER_00]: Now that they're over, I'm like, man, those two years in comparison everything else were fucking really difficult.

23:00.235 --> 23:01.496
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's kind of how I see it.

23:02.252 --> 23:10.563
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so there's so many pieces that I want to pull on with that right there, but there's a few a few things one is like all right, you just said that you're super competitive right.

23:11.722 --> 23:18.964
[SPEAKER_02]: And this is why, again, like I said, I really wanted to talk to you about this because and you talk about this in the book a lot, you get compared to David Goggins a lot, right?

23:18.984 --> 23:29.626
[SPEAKER_02]: You guys are very similar back story and just like a similar thing, similar just vibe, and it's like, but so I think with people see someone like you or like him, right?

23:29.646 --> 23:31.987
[SPEAKER_02]: Say David Goggins, just fucking, you know, just get up and do it.

23:32.007 --> 23:38.168
[SPEAKER_02]: Just quiet your inner bitch and all this stuff and like, I come back to often and say this with my clients, I say this to every person I know.

23:41.009 --> 23:45.802
[SPEAKER_02]: If I could, I could yell at someone to make them change in any way.

23:46.913 --> 23:48.875
[SPEAKER_02]: And the world would be a different place, right?

23:49.115 --> 23:52.898
[SPEAKER_02]: So some people are more we all exist on that bell curve, yeah?

23:53.278 --> 23:56.601
[SPEAKER_02]: And so some people are on that side where they're super competitive.

23:56.961 --> 24:03.346
[SPEAKER_02]: And just the fact that someone else has done it is enough fuel for your fire to say, like, if they can do it, I can do it.

24:03.747 --> 24:08.471
[SPEAKER_02]: And if they can do it, I can do it, if it's been done, if it's been done, it's possible for me to do it.

24:08.511 --> 24:11.413
[SPEAKER_02]: And if no one else has done it, then I can be the first one to do it.

24:11.653 --> 24:12.814
[SPEAKER_02]: And that lights a fire for you.

24:16.417 --> 24:20.478
[SPEAKER_02]: if everyone else was like that, you wouldn't be who you are.

24:21.339 --> 24:25.240
[SPEAKER_02]: No one would want to listen to your podcast or read your books, you are an outlier in that sense.

24:25.700 --> 24:27.701
[SPEAKER_02]: Most people are not like that, right?

24:27.781 --> 24:30.022
[SPEAKER_02]: Most people don't have that get up and go in them.

24:30.322 --> 24:32.402
[SPEAKER_02]: And again, this is not a take down, I don't have that.

24:32.643 --> 24:34.823
[SPEAKER_02]: I do not have a competitive bone in me.

24:35.023 --> 24:40.825
[SPEAKER_02]: Someone does something better than you, I'm like, cool, I love that, that's as far as it goes for me.

24:41.105 --> 24:44.687
[SPEAKER_02]: So to stay, like, so, and the reason I say this

24:46.420 --> 24:52.886
[SPEAKER_02]: One of the what I call meta skills, I have a few meta skills that I think are what underpin everything and the first is knowledge of self.

24:54.247 --> 24:57.050
[SPEAKER_02]: Two, you just said you need a goal to know where you're going, right?

24:57.070 --> 25:02.555
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, she's great, but beyond that, I think it more importantly, you need to know yourself, you need to know what.

25:03.917 --> 25:05.378
[SPEAKER_02]: person out, you types or something like that.

25:05.618 --> 25:22.230
[SPEAKER_02]: Because if I try to use the motivation techniques that you Michael use, being so different in the way that the things that we care about in terms of like competition and how we look at that thing, I'm going to come up against failure after failure after failure and that's not where.

25:23.192 --> 25:29.455
[SPEAKER_02]: because I'm like, but Michael said that you just fucking find someone who's doing it better than you, and you fucking put their picture on the refrigerator.

25:29.475 --> 25:32.116
[SPEAKER_02]: You look at it every morning, and it pisses you off until you get there.

25:32.397 --> 25:35.098
[SPEAKER_02]: But I'm doing that, and I just keep hitting snooze on my alarm.

25:35.718 --> 25:36.399
[SPEAKER_02]: I must suck.

25:36.839 --> 25:39.920
[SPEAKER_02]: I must be worse than him, or something like that.

25:40.240 --> 25:45.883
[SPEAKER_02]: So knowledge of self is like one of those bottom layer pillars that I get to.

25:46.524 --> 25:51.306
[SPEAKER_02]: And then it's like you just said, another thing I just wanted to touch on real quick is you mentioned the time to constrate thing.

25:53.028 --> 25:56.092
[SPEAKER_02]: Any goal is achievable with a long enough time horizon.

25:56.573 --> 26:04.323
[SPEAKER_02]: The number one thing that's going to set people up for failure, when you're just talking about simple goals, things like that, losing weight, making money, whatever, it's not the goal you choose.

26:04.383 --> 26:06.807
[SPEAKER_02]: It's the timeline on which you choose to try to do it.

26:07.738 --> 26:09.619
[SPEAKER_02]: You want to lose a thousand pounds?

26:10.279 --> 26:11.560
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure, how much time do you have?

26:12.220 --> 26:12.680
[SPEAKER_02]: Six months?

26:12.820 --> 26:13.320
[SPEAKER_02]: Probably not.

26:13.720 --> 26:14.721
[SPEAKER_02]: You want to become a millionaire?

26:15.061 --> 26:15.781
[SPEAKER_02]: How much time do you have?

26:15.821 --> 26:16.882
[SPEAKER_02]: How many times can you fail?

26:17.502 --> 26:19.503
[SPEAKER_02]: The timeline makes all the difference.

26:19.543 --> 26:27.006
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not the goal, so I think that's not bad at not bad at picking goals because you can choose whatever goal you want, whatever lights your heart up.

26:27.026 --> 26:27.586
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a good goal.

26:27.866 --> 26:32.328
[SPEAKER_02]: But I think they're bad at matching the goal to the timeline and choosing a timeline that's realistic.

26:32.648 --> 26:35.009
[SPEAKER_02]: And when they do that, they set themselves up for failure

26:39.310 --> 26:44.596
[SPEAKER_00]: So a couple of thoughts, um, I don't think, let me lose state this.

26:44.957 --> 26:45.958
[SPEAKER_00]: I am competitive.

26:46.118 --> 26:47.620
[SPEAKER_00]: I have always been competitive.

26:47.720 --> 26:48.701
[SPEAKER_00]: I am born that way.

26:48.721 --> 26:51.425
[SPEAKER_00]: That's just in my DNA for whatever reason.

26:51.805 --> 26:55.690
[SPEAKER_00]: I like to win and I actually hate losing more than I like winning.

26:56.210 --> 27:08.002
[SPEAKER_00]: And so even, you know, when I've won these really big speaker competitions in front of 10,000 people, or playing, you know, you know, what I'm like, I want to fucking read, dude, I will fuck bite your face off if that's what it takes, right?

27:08.482 --> 27:20.094
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, that that is in me, but what I will say that that whole drive about this idea of the get up and go and the make it happen and that is not a part of me.

27:20.694 --> 27:38.123
[SPEAKER_00]: that is something that I've had to create because when I was, you know, and I've said this 8,000 times on the show, but when I was 350 pounds laying in bed, smoking a joint watch in the CrossFit games when I was 26 years old, I did not have whatever that thing is that I have now.

27:38.663 --> 27:45.290
[SPEAKER_00]: and that became a practice of just this daily, I call it forcing.

27:45.770 --> 27:53.037
[SPEAKER_00]: There, I'm sure there's a better way to phrase it, but I would literally force myself to do things that I knew were good for me.

27:53.858 --> 28:00.481
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is what started to shape my life, because I kept, it was me against this brick wall, it's kind of how I look at it.

28:00.981 --> 28:03.982
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was standing in front of this brick wall called my life.

28:04.082 --> 28:06.223
[SPEAKER_00]: And my life was a complete disaster.

28:06.623 --> 28:08.424
[SPEAKER_00]: And nothing was ever working.

28:08.484 --> 28:12.965
[SPEAKER_00]: And this brick wall was right here, and I'd be punching it and punching it and punching it.

28:13.165 --> 28:19.948
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just knew that again, on a long enough timeline, if I kept punching this wall, eventually I would punch through it.

28:20.548 --> 28:42.869
[SPEAKER_00]: But the punching was the daily action of me carrying about myself enough to do the thing that I needed to do, to eat the right food, to stop smoking, to stop drinking, to go to the gym, to get a personal trainer, to get educated, to have a knowledge about myself by going to therapy and coaching and doing all the things.

28:43.209 --> 28:45.191
[SPEAKER_00]: But dude, that was impossible.

28:45.471 --> 28:45.692
[SPEAKER_00]: Like,

28:46.312 --> 28:53.335
[SPEAKER_00]: just the day-to-day grind of me choosing myself was so unbelievably difficult.

28:53.876 --> 28:54.916
[SPEAKER_00]: So I will say this.

28:54.936 --> 28:58.418
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying that you're wrong or right because there's 8 billion people.

28:58.438 --> 28:59.298
[SPEAKER_00]: Everybody's different.

28:59.939 --> 29:08.883
[SPEAKER_00]: What I will say is I believe that everyone can cultivate and create that level of discipline and self-care by foot.

29:09.163 --> 29:12.325
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, forcing the narrative of the action.

29:12.666 --> 29:15.848
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like you have to sit in this and here's what I realized.

29:15.888 --> 29:29.578
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, this even though it feels difficult, Paul, this isn't me punishing myself because I had this idea that was conflated that going to the gym, eating healthy, doing the right things was punishment.

29:30.058 --> 29:31.920
[SPEAKER_00]: Discipline felt like a bad thing.

29:32.620 --> 29:41.682
[SPEAKER_00]: And then what I realized and understood was it was actually the best thing that I could do because me being disciplined was actually self-love.

29:41.962 --> 29:42.142
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

29:42.663 --> 29:44.063
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

29:44.103 --> 29:44.423
[SPEAKER_02]: 100%.

29:44.523 --> 29:44.683
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.

29:44.703 --> 29:45.163
[SPEAKER_02]: So, okay.

29:45.183 --> 29:46.924
[SPEAKER_02]: This is exactly where I needed to get to.

29:47.024 --> 29:47.184
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.

29:47.204 --> 29:49.144
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm so happy this is where this took us.

29:50.065 --> 29:50.985
[SPEAKER_02]: So, I agree.

29:51.365 --> 29:52.525
[SPEAKER_02]: One again, everyone is different.

29:52.805 --> 29:54.186
[SPEAKER_02]: I say, I speak in generalities.

29:54.286 --> 29:56.086
[SPEAKER_02]: I again, I'm thinking of the bell curve.

29:56.106 --> 29:56.386
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm taking

30:01.362 --> 30:13.263
[SPEAKER_02]: Everything you just said is hard, eating the healthy food, doing the, doing the workouts, reading the books, doing what they harder than scrolling, smoking, jerking off, eating fucking cheetos, whatever.

30:14.407 --> 30:16.127
[SPEAKER_02]: And yet this is my thesis.

30:16.167 --> 30:16.808
[SPEAKER_02]: This is my argument.

30:16.828 --> 30:35.612
[SPEAKER_02]: So my podcast has changed made easy right everything everything I do is how do I make this easy I said that that's what I that's the only answer I can come to this is always where people come to you got to do the hard day and eventually you just got a fucking nut up and you just got that you got to step up you got to shitter get off the pot you got to act right action I agree with all those things right nothing changes nothing changes okay.

30:36.853 --> 30:37.333
[SPEAKER_02]: I believe.

30:38.400 --> 30:43.723
[SPEAKER_02]: that in that moment, in those moments, over and over and over, when you're punching the brick wall, right?

30:44.003 --> 30:48.025
[SPEAKER_02]: Chipping away at it with your bare knuckles, your knuckles are bleeding, your fighting against this and doing this thing.

30:48.265 --> 30:50.707
[SPEAKER_02]: That sucks that you hate doing in that moment.

30:51.687 --> 30:55.990
[SPEAKER_02]: That thing was the easy thing for you in that moment.

30:56.930 --> 31:00.772
[SPEAKER_01]: Easier than continuing to live, the life that you were living.

31:01.573 --> 31:02.073
[SPEAKER_01]: True false.

31:05.406 --> 31:06.227
[SPEAKER_01]: So absolutely.

31:07.008 --> 31:12.873
[SPEAKER_02]: So we can, by definition, only ever do the easiest thing.

31:13.814 --> 31:16.236
[SPEAKER_02]: Life will always take the path of these resistance.

31:17.477 --> 31:21.180
[SPEAKER_02]: Water always flows to the lowest amount to the lowest pop point.

31:22.281 --> 31:28.187
[SPEAKER_02]: We, as they, as they, as they say goes, that people change when the pain of change is greater than the pain of staying the same.

31:29.217 --> 31:31.819
[SPEAKER_02]: When you're doing those hard days, yes they were hard, right?

31:31.839 --> 31:34.801
[SPEAKER_02]: Go into the gym as hard every day because you're lifting weights, that's just hard.

31:35.401 --> 31:43.286
[SPEAKER_02]: But I do it because it's easier for me to live with myself as a person who goes to the gym than it is to sit on the couch every day.

31:43.386 --> 31:46.709
[SPEAKER_02]: Although sitting on the couch would be physically easier, right?

31:46.729 --> 31:48.450
[SPEAKER_02]: People go, no, well it's not easy going to the gym.

31:48.710 --> 31:50.231
[SPEAKER_02]: It's much easier to just eat noodles.

31:50.611 --> 31:51.172
[SPEAKER_02]: But for me,

31:52.228 --> 31:55.049
[SPEAKER_02]: for you to live with yourself, you couldn't do it.

31:55.489 --> 32:01.390
[SPEAKER_02]: So now I come back to, that is a blessing because so many people don't land on that side of it.

32:01.810 --> 32:11.553
[SPEAKER_02]: So many people who are exactly where you are, are 350 pounds, they don't work out, they're smoking weed every day, they're sitting on the couch, and their brain doesn't go,

32:13.618 --> 32:25.184
[SPEAKER_02]: anything is is is this this is the worst case scenario eating eating nothing but let us every day would be better than this and choose that they keep eating Doritos and they go to 450 pounds they go to 500 pounds.

32:28.205 --> 32:34.171
[SPEAKER_02]: There's, again, there's a level of personality, I think, in this that doesn't get respected enough.

32:34.832 --> 32:48.385
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's like when I was a personal trainer, I was a, I was a head coach for a chain of gyms in Brooklyn, New York, and so I was a personal trainer, but it was also my job to train other trainers and so like they were higher new trainers, it was my job to teach them whatever.

32:49.126 --> 32:55.811
[SPEAKER_02]: And I would always tell them, the biggest mistake that new trainers make is they train their clients, like they would train themselves.

32:56.531 --> 33:00.614
[SPEAKER_02]: They train their clients like they are someone who likes this stuff.

33:00.995 --> 33:03.176
[SPEAKER_02]: But I'm like, you became a trainer because you like this stuff.

33:03.476 --> 33:05.098
[SPEAKER_02]: That person does not like this stuff.

33:05.238 --> 33:06.539
[SPEAKER_02]: That's why they're hiring a trainer.

33:07.288 --> 33:25.131
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, so there's a level of the type of people who are writing the content about change and making this stuff about change about mindset about motivation about all this stuff are doing it from a from a place of like this worked for me, but if it works if it works for everyone, then

33:26.205 --> 33:28.808
[SPEAKER_02]: The world would be sunshine and rainbows, but that's not how it works.

33:28.828 --> 33:32.994
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm trying to speak to the lowest common denominator as a shitty as that sounds.

33:33.014 --> 33:37.880
[SPEAKER_02]: I just mean that in a real general sense, what does the normal person want?

33:38.000 --> 33:39.142
[SPEAKER_02]: We're normal person need.

33:39.703 --> 33:41.365
[SPEAKER_02]: And for those type of people,

33:42.388 --> 33:49.134
[SPEAKER_02]: I think reducing friction, reducing the barrier to entry, and making things, I say this in the intro to every podcast I do.

33:49.674 --> 33:51.536
[SPEAKER_02]: I intro to every podcast.

33:51.836 --> 33:55.078
[SPEAKER_02]: How do I make this so easy for you that it can't knock up?

33:55.699 --> 33:58.882
[SPEAKER_02]: Not how do I make you better so that you can do this hard thing?

33:59.442 --> 34:00.743
[SPEAKER_02]: Because again, we know how to get stronger.

34:00.763 --> 34:02.343
[SPEAKER_02]: We know how to fucking cultivate Willpower.

34:02.663 --> 34:05.724
[SPEAKER_02]: You know that you put in your 10,000 hours, you will get better at something.

34:06.005 --> 34:09.066
[SPEAKER_02]: But how do I get you to be the person who shows up for the thing?

34:09.626 --> 34:11.147
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I have a framework that I use.

34:11.167 --> 34:13.167
[SPEAKER_02]: It's called Easy, your EASIER, right?

34:13.187 --> 34:14.148
[SPEAKER_02]: It's literally an acronym.

34:15.159 --> 34:20.401
[SPEAKER_02]: The first letter, I don't have to get into the whole thing, but the first letter is literally enthusiasm, right?

34:20.421 --> 34:21.362
[SPEAKER_02]: So, e stands for enthusiasm.

34:21.382 --> 34:22.622
[SPEAKER_02]: This is kind of like, smart goals, right?

34:22.642 --> 34:27.904
[SPEAKER_02]: This is like, how do you, if you're choosing a goal or a habit, how do I think, how do I know if you'll stick to it or not?

34:28.224 --> 34:31.366
[SPEAKER_02]: So, I run my clients through this framework, stands for enthusiasm.

34:31.766 --> 34:34.687
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you enthusiastic about taking this action?

34:36.124 --> 34:39.205
[SPEAKER_02]: Specifically, not are you enthusiastic about the result, right?

34:39.225 --> 34:41.125
[SPEAKER_02]: So easy example, I want to lose weight.

34:41.185 --> 34:43.026
[SPEAKER_02]: Of course, I'm enthusiastic about losing 50 pounds.

34:43.106 --> 34:47.187
[SPEAKER_02]: Of course, when you're 350 pound guy, and I say, do you want to be 250 pounds?

34:47.207 --> 34:48.547
[SPEAKER_02]: You're enthusiastic about that.

34:48.887 --> 34:50.567
[SPEAKER_02]: But I call those magic wand goals, right?

34:50.587 --> 34:54.348
[SPEAKER_02]: If I could wave a magic wand, give it to you, you would accept it, right?

34:54.368 --> 34:56.169
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you want to be a seven-figure business owner?

34:56.249 --> 34:56.829
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, of course.

34:57.149 --> 34:58.369
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you want to have a half-year relationship?

34:58.389 --> 34:59.429
[SPEAKER_02]: No, of course.

34:59.469 --> 35:00.150
[SPEAKER_02]: No shit, right?

35:00.410 --> 35:04.591
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's like not are you enthusiastic about the goal, but are you enthusiastic about the actions

35:06.031 --> 35:06.094
[UNKNOWN]: you

35:07.033 --> 35:10.174
[SPEAKER_02]: Because if you can do that, right, you say I want to lose weight.

35:10.654 --> 35:13.335
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, well, are you enthusiastic about never eating bread again?

35:13.875 --> 35:14.655
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, no, I like bread.

35:14.715 --> 35:17.316
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, well, then keto is probably a bad option for you, right?

35:17.476 --> 35:23.538
[SPEAKER_02]: But could you be enthusiastic about like, I don't know, doing adding more protein and eating a little bit more vegetables with still having pizza night once a week?

35:23.858 --> 35:24.758
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I like that.

35:25.039 --> 35:25.519
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, great.

35:25.819 --> 35:32.381
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a great route for you to take rather than being the guy who says, I'm just gonna cut out everything.

35:33.221 --> 35:35.102
[SPEAKER_02]: I know it's hard, but I just have to do it.

35:35.202 --> 35:35.722
[SPEAKER_02]: Does that make sense?

35:36.645 --> 35:37.125
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, of course.

35:37.225 --> 36:06.050
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think also like I walked the path of I'm cutting out everything and it just sucks dude life is fucking boring and look who's the reality I was shred it I was completely shred it you go back to me 31 32 33 I was on the strictest diet Crossfit five times a week hot yoga two or three times a week running five miles pretty much every single day calories and calories I was shred it right and I run it to because I felt like I needed to push myself.

36:06.570 --> 36:10.672
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I was like, man, you know, it's really good, Trader Joe's chili lime chips, you know what I'm saying?

36:10.972 --> 36:20.475
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think that a big part of life is, I don't believe in balance, because I think balance will screw you up because you'll always make concessions for what you think balance is.

36:21.055 --> 36:26.257
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that you have to allow yourself to enjoy the experience of your human existence.

36:26.778 --> 36:32.440
[SPEAKER_00]: And so when I think about the the idea of the enthusiasm, I agree with you.

36:33.580 --> 36:36.461
[SPEAKER_00]: Paul, I am not doing anything I don't want to do.

36:37.561 --> 36:39.602
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just not pretty easy to find.

36:39.642 --> 36:42.503
[SPEAKER_00]: There's, there's why I got kicked out of high school three times.

36:42.923 --> 36:43.864
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't want to do this.

36:43.924 --> 36:44.924
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to be in here.

36:44.944 --> 36:46.164
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to be around you people.

36:46.464 --> 36:47.825
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to talk about these books.

36:48.105 --> 36:49.666
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want experience teachers.

36:49.686 --> 36:52.447
[SPEAKER_00]: So I believe that I'm more intelligent than maybe that's my hubris.

36:52.487 --> 36:53.407
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's not, I don't know.

36:53.787 --> 36:55.608
[SPEAKER_00]: But my point is, I don't want to do stuff.

36:55.628 --> 36:56.268
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to do.

36:56.828 --> 36:59.311
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've always been that way, and everyone is that way.

36:59.692 --> 37:12.547
[SPEAKER_00]: And one of the biggest lessons I've learned as a coach, having put so many people through my programs or the years, and having been coached and currently having a coach and always have, not always, but for the last 13 years, is I always come to this.

37:13.068 --> 37:14.409
[SPEAKER_00]: Let do they need?

37:15.090 --> 37:15.350
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?

37:15.771 --> 37:40.353
[SPEAKER_00]: Not what do I need because do the way I motivate you is not the way I motivate Sally is not the way I motivate Jim and people have to understand about that themselves too because they will see a me they'll see a David Goggins they'll see a whoever it is and they'll go I'm not doing enough because look at these guys do we're just wired differently and you've got to understand that and I don't want the same things that you want.

37:40.393 --> 37:46.358
[SPEAKER_00]: You want to go to the concert on Tuesday night and sleep in on Wednesday and you want to do like do respect.

37:46.619 --> 37:46.959
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't.

37:47.099 --> 37:48.581
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm getting up at six in the morning.

37:48.921 --> 37:49.481
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm working.

37:49.561 --> 37:50.282
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm working out.

37:50.382 --> 37:51.343
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing my life.

37:51.743 --> 37:55.267
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm building against these massive goals that I have and dude.

37:55.327 --> 37:57.228
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't end up on my death bed and be like shit.

37:57.248 --> 37:58.650
[SPEAKER_00]: I wish I don't want to more concerts.

37:59.050 --> 38:01.873
[SPEAKER_00]: But I've always made the space to do the stuff that I wanted.

38:02.293 --> 38:04.835
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I think that's the thing that people have to understand.

38:05.215 --> 38:07.377
[SPEAKER_00]: This same reason why I went just because I'm on concerts.

38:07.397 --> 38:10.459
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the same reason I want to go see the food fighters on my birthday in Tokyo.

38:10.939 --> 38:12.840
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I could'll stay at home and work.

38:13.541 --> 38:14.061
[SPEAKER_00]: I could've.

38:14.161 --> 38:18.324
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't have to, you know, but I'm like, man, I want to go and still enjoy my life.

38:18.785 --> 38:20.166
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I don't think it's balanced.

38:20.206 --> 38:23.188
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's just the clarity of what do I want.

38:23.828 --> 38:31.914
[SPEAKER_00]: and people have such a hard time answering that question because they get caught up in social media and they're like, I want to jet, bro, you're not getting a jet.

38:32.254 --> 38:33.736
[SPEAKER_00]: I cannot stress this to you enough.

38:34.096 --> 38:41.822
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you could be the 00 or 1% of all human beings who can infer at a 30 million dollar jet, but you probably can't.

38:42.482 --> 38:43.503
[SPEAKER_00]: But can you fly on one?

38:43.743 --> 38:44.624
[SPEAKER_00]: You probably can.

38:44.924 --> 38:48.787
[SPEAKER_00]: So, like, let's be realistic and people really could have a jet of fire.

38:48.807 --> 38:49.488
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so get one.

38:49.728 --> 38:50.549
[SPEAKER_00]: Prove me fucking wrong.

38:50.929 --> 38:53.431
[SPEAKER_00]: And then fly me on it to show me how wrong I am.

38:53.451 --> 39:01.298
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you know, it's, I say all the time, you don't hit a target that you didn't set out for, right?

39:01.318 --> 39:04.521
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like you get in a car the first thing you do is you put the address in your GPS.

39:05.041 --> 39:07.426
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, again, it goes back to the monopoly analogy, right?

39:07.446 --> 39:11.173
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, if you're playing darts, you have to see the bull's eye to have a chance of hitting it.

39:11.393 --> 39:17.024
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, and so like, if you're not able to vocalize verbalize what you're actually after,

39:18.163 --> 39:19.244
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a big part of this.

39:19.264 --> 39:21.926
[SPEAKER_02]: So I guess I mentioned my framework easier, EAS.

39:22.187 --> 39:24.729
[SPEAKER_02]: So EAS is for straightforward.

39:25.009 --> 39:29.653
[SPEAKER_02]: And that straightforward is about 10 you verbalize in straightforward language.

39:30.434 --> 39:31.095
[SPEAKER_02]: What you want?

39:31.355 --> 39:32.896
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but also how you get there.

39:33.177 --> 39:34.638
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what are those steps taking?

39:34.658 --> 39:39.302
[SPEAKER_02]: So this is a big thing that you can, I use fitness as an analogy a lot because of my background of fitness.

39:39.763 --> 39:42.145
[SPEAKER_02]: And again, I work with thousands and thousands of people in that world.

39:42.465 --> 39:56.901
[SPEAKER_02]: So like it's like people like I want to get jacked right and like I want to get jacked I want to get lean I want to lose 20 pounds like specifics I want to be able to bench to 25 I want to be like you get they can get specific right okay but it's like but now tell me how do I get there

39:57.421 --> 39:58.061
[SPEAKER_02]: how do you get there?

39:58.081 --> 39:59.682
[SPEAKER_02]: What are the steps from A to B, B to C?

40:00.002 --> 40:01.362
[SPEAKER_02]: It's simple language, right?

40:01.382 --> 40:06.704
[SPEAKER_02]: Like don't tell me, you know, like, because it doesn't have to be like, you don't have to be a scientist and exercise specialist.

40:06.904 --> 40:19.828
[SPEAKER_02]: But you had, you should know something about like, well, I need to lift heavier progressively and I know I need to start with doing pushups and then if that's too hard, I do elevate or something like that because you used to have it perfectly before, right?

40:20.248 --> 40:24.029
[SPEAKER_02]: Confused, I don't remember the words, but I use it as my mom always fell.

40:24.269 --> 40:25.129
[SPEAKER_02]: Confuse my will always fail.

40:25.149 --> 40:28.450
[SPEAKER_02]: I am marketing speaker, sales talk, it says a confused mind doesn't buy.

40:28.910 --> 40:34.412
[SPEAKER_02]: This is why a checkout page only has two things on it, even though the company sells 50,000, right?

40:34.452 --> 40:36.693
[SPEAKER_02]: Because if you have too many options, you make you take none.

40:36.953 --> 40:41.654
[SPEAKER_02]: So when you're talking about your goal, it's like, well, I need my goal is to bench to 25.

40:41.674 --> 40:42.674
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a specific goal.

40:42.754 --> 40:47.656
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, it made a smart goal, a specific measure will attain a little rump up up up up, but it's like, but now how do you get there?

40:48.336 --> 40:52.920
[SPEAKER_02]: There's, do you do calisthenics, do you do P9DX, do you do do you go to the gym, do you do pushups at home?

40:53.160 --> 40:54.141
[SPEAKER_02]: There's too many options.

40:54.682 --> 41:01.067
[SPEAKER_02]: Your brain going back to the very beginning of this conversation where animals, my brain is always trying to conserve energy and conserve resources.

41:01.788 --> 41:05.992
[SPEAKER_02]: So if I am too confused, that's a waste of energy, a waste of energy means I quit.

41:06.212 --> 41:09.035
[SPEAKER_02]: So I come back around to everything just comes to you.

41:09.635 --> 41:12.196
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, my brain goes, well, I'm not going to figure this out.

41:12.537 --> 41:15.018
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm not going to keep wasting energy on trying.

41:15.298 --> 41:21.321
[SPEAKER_02]: I think the greatest human superpower, and I say this with a little tongue and cheek, because it's actually a negative thing, but is rationalization.

41:21.821 --> 41:23.342
[SPEAKER_02]: We can rationalize anything.

41:23.582 --> 41:26.804
[SPEAKER_02]: Everything that we do in hindsight, we rationalize.

41:27.124 --> 41:29.325
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, of course, I bought those traitor Joe chips.

41:29.345 --> 41:30.086
[SPEAKER_02]: They were on sale.

41:30.546 --> 41:33.788
[SPEAKER_02]: And if I didn't buy them, then that I wasn't going to have any

41:34.748 --> 41:36.889
[SPEAKER_02]: corn line chips in my house and that would be bad.

41:36.929 --> 41:38.709
[SPEAKER_02]: And I needed those things in that moment.

41:38.869 --> 41:42.650
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, even though rationally, you know, that like that's you never actually need those things.

41:43.030 --> 41:44.771
[SPEAKER_02]: But you figure out, I go, well, it tasted good.

41:44.791 --> 41:46.231
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I was, I was in an area.

41:46.251 --> 41:47.131
[SPEAKER_02]: I never go to Trader Joe's.

41:47.151 --> 41:49.272
[SPEAKER_02]: I never really have these things anyway or whatever.

41:49.552 --> 41:49.672
[SPEAKER_02]: Right?

41:49.692 --> 41:51.513
[SPEAKER_02]: So we rationalize our way out of everything.

41:51.533 --> 41:52.573
[SPEAKER_02]: But all is

41:54.041 --> 41:56.482
[SPEAKER_02]: just your brain, trying to keep you safe.

41:56.842 --> 41:58.123
[SPEAKER_02]: So everything boils down to.

41:59.324 --> 42:02.125
[SPEAKER_02]: It's trying to conserve energy because it's trying to keep you alive.

42:02.685 --> 42:06.647
[SPEAKER_02]: And going back to the beginning again, we live in a world that we didn't evolve to live in.

42:06.747 --> 42:11.589
[SPEAKER_02]: So everything that is happening to you is happening for you because it's your brain trying to keep you alive.

42:11.669 --> 42:13.791
[SPEAKER_02]: The reason you stop a diet, the reason you

42:14.931 --> 42:30.792
[SPEAKER_02]: go out and drink the reason you eat extra food the reason you lie to your spouse a million other things that you do so all you're brain in that moment in that immediate moment thinking that it's keeping you safe but in reality it's a farthest thing from it and that discrepancy leads to everything and if we can

42:31.973 --> 42:32.693
[SPEAKER_02]: Slow down.

42:33.114 --> 42:38.176
[SPEAKER_02]: So again, if we could slow down and give ourselves space, this is why breathing techniques and just pausing, right?

42:38.196 --> 42:45.959
[SPEAKER_02]: This is why meditation has been a thing for 10,000 years because all it is is just slowing down and giving our rational logical brain, which knows the answers, right?

42:45.979 --> 42:48.940
[SPEAKER_02]: When I go, you know that cigarette is in keeping you safe, right?

42:48.960 --> 42:49.761
[SPEAKER_02]: It was actually killing you.

42:50.181 --> 43:08.308
[SPEAKER_02]: You go, yeah, but in that moment when you're so stressed and you just need anything to distract you, your brain is looking for literally anything to that in that moment to your survival brain smoking a cigarette feels like safety, it feels like home and so with just five minutes, you know that's like well, that's pretty dumb.

43:08.848 --> 43:10.829
[SPEAKER_02]: but it's too late, you already smoke the whole pack.

43:11.189 --> 43:19.593
[SPEAKER_02]: So that pausing, giving ourselves time is one of the easiest, most actionable ways that I can give people to like right now today, how do you start to change?

43:19.873 --> 43:24.475
[SPEAKER_02]: It's put five minutes, two minutes, 30 seconds between any decision in any action.

43:25.055 --> 43:30.818
[SPEAKER_02]: Because inherently in doing that, you give your logical, rational brain a chance to catch up to your survival brain.

43:30.878 --> 43:35.740
[SPEAKER_02]: And then just give yourself a grace to realize that all of those bad decisions are your brain trying to keep you safe.

43:36.854 --> 43:37.735
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep, totally.

43:37.796 --> 43:43.445
[SPEAKER_00]: And the thing that I have taught my clients from the jump is the piece is in the pause.

43:44.279 --> 43:46.060
[SPEAKER_00]: That is the only way you change your life.

43:46.601 --> 43:48.522
[SPEAKER_00]: At least in my opinion, that's the only way you change your life.

43:48.582 --> 43:55.507
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I think a big thing I'm always thinking about is like, well, how do you override the life that you're in?

43:56.007 --> 43:56.267
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?

43:56.448 --> 44:04.453
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's you get to this place where you can have enough cognition in the present moment to make a decision.

44:05.013 --> 44:06.735
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's how I created that change.

44:06.755 --> 44:10.998
[SPEAKER_00]: So going back to this idea of the force, the force was always there.

44:11.018 --> 44:12.038
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I'm talking about stores.

44:13.179 --> 44:27.728
[SPEAKER_00]: The notion of me forcing these actions in my life against this brick wall only came on the backside of the space of the pause where I would sit in the decision moment of wouldn't let the outside world interfere with what it was.

44:28.128 --> 44:37.294
[SPEAKER_00]: I would sit in it and I would get to the rationalization, I mean you're so spot on about this, I would get to the rationalization of why I needed to do the thing.

44:38.074 --> 44:47.480
[SPEAKER_00]: And it always came back to this one I did, no matter how deep down the rabbit hole I went, it always just came back to like, I have to love myself enough to do this.

44:47.981 --> 44:49.622
[SPEAKER_00]: Paul, this has been super fun, man.

44:50.002 --> 44:51.343
[SPEAKER_00]: I love this conversation.

44:51.363 --> 44:53.484
[SPEAKER_00]: I want people to connect with you.

44:53.524 --> 44:59.548
[SPEAKER_00]: I want people to learn more, especially about the work that you do, because you may be able to help them in ways that I certainly could not.

44:59.568 --> 45:02.490
[SPEAKER_00]: We see the world similarly, but differently.

45:02.590 --> 45:05.212
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that matters a lot for people in their journey.

45:06.052 --> 45:10.775
[SPEAKER_00]: work and people learn about you and connect with you to find out about what you do.

45:11.936 --> 45:13.998
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, well, the first place is just the podcast.

45:14.018 --> 45:15.439
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I said, change made easy.

45:15.459 --> 45:19.301
[SPEAKER_02]: So there's like over 400, almost 500 episodes now.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Michael's been a guest two times and there's more information there than it's literally my life's work of information.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So I love it's free go.

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[SPEAKER_02]: learn as much as you can.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And then beyond that, if people want to talk to me or connect with me, it's just my name at Paul Levitton across all social media platforms.

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[SPEAKER_02]: My whole thing is make it easy.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Nothing tricky.

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[SPEAKER_02]: All everything is easy as it can be.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And, you know, come ask questions or reach out.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I'll tell you all about all the things I do.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love that you didn't start with WWW.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So that said, my friends, thank you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If you want to go learn more about Paul, you can also check out Think and BrokenPodcast.com, all that and more in the show notes.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And of course, my last question for you, ask once before and now again, what does it mean to you to be unbroken?

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[SPEAKER_01]: to give yourself grace to accept that you will break, but that doesn't mean that you're broken.

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[SPEAKER_00]: beautifully said.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for being here.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Unbroken nation, my friends.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you guys for listening.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Make sure that you share this with someone in your life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If they're struggling to get started, they need to find an easier path to success.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If they're trying to punch through the wall and it's just not working or maybe if you just want to listen to a really fun conversation because I certainly had a blast.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That said, take