Leaving Corporate America: The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything | With Angie Hawkins

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[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it can feel like we are predestined to have the life that we're meant to have.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And in sometimes in that journey, we can have these moments that feel like our back is against the wall.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We have nothing left to give, and sometimes we have to find a way to take ourselves out of this experience.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes on the backside of that experience, you find yourself looking at life through new lens and understanding the power that you have to actually become the person that you choose to be.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And no one's done that better than my friend Angie Hawkins from Super Excited to have this conversation with today.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Angie, my friend, thank you so much for being here.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the show.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Hey Michael, thank you so much for having me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm curious, just doing you on the spot.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Why should anyone listen to our conversation today?

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[SPEAKER_03]: Because I think, you know, we go on Instagram and we see all the highlight rules of how everybody's living in exciting life and how happy they are.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And even in real life, everybody puts on their happy face and pretends that everything is fine.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And a lot of people are actually struggling because life is not perfect.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And we're not talking about the hard moment.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So this is a conversation to talk about real life because it's not all sunshines and unicorns and Instagram rails.

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[SPEAKER_00]: know, it is not.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that people are afraid of that for a lot of reasons, you know, especially if you grew up in America or the West, it is expected of you to have this great life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The career, the degree, the 2.5 kids, the marriage, the great sex, the great money, the great travel, the great adventure, and it's like, I don't know anyone who has a life like that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Not saying that you don't have pockets of a really cool experience, but I find that generally life is going to life and for so many of us we come from these really hard experiences that require us to shift our perspective.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I know that's true for you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, where did all this that you now do come from?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think about our journeys, I think about life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think about the willingness for someone to sit and tell thousands of people, hey, I attempted to take my own life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: How does one get to that moment?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna talk about how we overcome that, but I think first we have to understand how we got there.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I mean, like most people, it started in my childhood because the best way to describe my childhood is that I grew up in a home with emotionally unavailable parents and as an adult, I can understand what that means.

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[SPEAKER_03]: But as a child, you don't have the tools and knowledge to interpret your environment.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So you start assigning stories and meanings to them, whether they're true or not.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So, how I interpreted my environment was I developed a belief that I didn't deserve to be loved.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So, as you're probably aware, your beliefs dictate your behaviors and then your behaviors dictate what you draw into life.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So, needless to say,

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[SPEAKER_03]: I struggled for many many years because I was a people pleaser.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I was always seeking love and approval and things about outside of myself because I didn't believe I was inherently worthy of it on its own or even like in school like I needed to be the straightest student because that proved my worth.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I was always like seeking and doing because I didn't think I was worthy for things outside of myself.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And anybody who's a people pleaser are always chasing dopamine outside of themselves knows that it's a very exhausting way to live.

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[SPEAKER_03]: But I didn't know any other way to live and again with this limiting belief running the show.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I truly felt like that was all that was available to me.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I felt very unhappy and I'm fulfilled.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And to your point, I was going through.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Society's rules like I went to college.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I got the degree.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I had the corporate job.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I was making the money But I just felt so miserable inside But I was like this is just how life is because I'm checking off all of the boxes and I felt like that was all that was meant for me Which is a very in hindsight a very victim mentality to have but that's all I really knew

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's interesting you would say victim and talid out.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'd never thought about that, but you're right.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like it really is, you're kind of just regarding your own autonomy and you're saying, I guess this is who I'm supposed to be.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, because I just felt like, because it's funny, I would hear the phrase, you know, life is happening for you and I thought it was total bullshit.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I would roll my eyes because I was like, no, like like this happening to me and I can't do anything about it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's true.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I definitely resonate with that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And there's there's this weird sense of I don't know if this was true for you, but like there's this weird sense of like self-loving that comes along with that because I think you kind of get stuck in this idea of like not enoughness.

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[SPEAKER_03]: for sure.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And then I would turn that in on myself.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So for years, I had eating disorders.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I would beat myself up in the gym.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I ran marathon mostly to dissociate.

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[SPEAKER_03]: It's funny.

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[SPEAKER_03]: His people are always like, oh, that's so great.

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[SPEAKER_03]: You ran 16 marathon.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And it's like,

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[SPEAKER_03]: No, it was kind of a mental health issue because I was running to dissociate because when you go on long runs, you get that runners high and you kind of get out of your head.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So some people take drugs and do other things to numb their feelings.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I was running and it was like a socially acceptable thing to do, but it was really very self-olding because I was torturing my body and just kind of turning all of that inward.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think a lot of people go through that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I did a marathon one.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So I was like, I'm good.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Never doing that again.

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[SPEAKER_03]: You know, I look at that as you're mentally healthy because this is like the uns, and this is gonna be like controversial, but I was in the running community, keep in mind.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So I'm speaking for my own experience and from what I witnessed, but a lot of marathoners or extreme runners, they're running to escape something, they're running to numb their feelings.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think we all do, you know, it's every element has a prescription, you know what I mean and it's like for some people it's video games are porn or drugs or sex or cigarettes or whatever like I don't know a single human that doesn't have some kind of addictive quality to them.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think often though we see that come from what we witness growing up, right?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think about some of my behavioral patterns about around dissociating, around just life, like, well, shit.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That's the same shit I did do escape when I was a kid.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If you look at the world and you go, nobody cares about me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Why should I care about me?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to go and work out so hard that I'm going to get sick or I'm going to do 16 marathons or whatever.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that it turns into this really dark thing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We're not necessarily talking about like being an ultra runner or anything like that because I see some of those guys and I'm like that's incredible that you can do that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm like, there's human, there's like a such a sacrifice to those things in your own personal life, but I'm curious.

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[SPEAKER_00]: When did you realize that you're like, I'm running 16 Marathons, I'm killing myself in the gym.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm in this really, this life that I didn't choose and yet I'm here.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What was like the awakening around me?

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[SPEAKER_03]: So the biggest awakening was my emotional rock bottom.

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[SPEAKER_03]: To go into a little bit of the longer version, there was a point in my life.

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[SPEAKER_03]: My dad passed away in 2017, and he was only 63.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So that was my realization that life is too short to not do what you want to do.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So in the aftermath of his passing, I started having these deep profound thoughts about life.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And it made me realize that I wasn't doing what I really wanted to do with my life.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So for the first time in my life,

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[SPEAKER_03]: did not play the victim.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I took agency over my life and I decided because I had always wanted to move to Hawaii and I had always wanted to write a book.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So I was like, I'm going to move to Hawaii and write a book.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So in 2018, I moved to Hawaii, which was well-intentioned in the sense that I was actually taking agency over my life and doing something,

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[SPEAKER_03]: But it wasn't well intention in the sense that I was still looking for things outside of myself to be the thing that made me feel better.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So this is the perfect example of you cannot move away from your problems because I moved and I was basically living the same life just in nicer weather because I moved from Chicago.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So I was like, oh, it's warmer, but I still didn't feel that happiness and fulfillment that I was seeking.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And so from 2018 to 2020, it just really started snowballing because it was one thing after another.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And I kept telling myself, I can't handle it.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I didn't believe I was deserving of being happy.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And then COVID happened in 2020.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And that was, well, obviously exacerbated everything because it was just such an uncertain time.

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[SPEAKER_03]: But then,

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[SPEAKER_03]: I had an end of a relationship during COVID, which in isolation really wouldn't have been a big deal, but it was the straw that broke the camel's back because I had a lifetime of this self-loathing and self-criticism and constantly torturing myself mentally, physically, feeling like I was a victim of life and then things just kept happening and I had tried to do the thing to make myself happier and it didn't work, so I was like, I can't even do that right.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And I just had this moment, and I think we all have these moments because I was like, I can't take this anymore when does this end, but on top of that was the sheer feeling of hopelessness because when I looked in the past, all I could see was like, how miserable and unhappy I had been all of my life.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And when I looked in the future, I truly did not see any hope for the future, which is the absolute worst place you can be in your life.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So I had prescription anxiety medication and I had just refilled the bottle and so there were 30 pills in the bottle and I took the entire bottle with the intention of not even being here anymore.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's heavy, you know, I get it, you know, because when I was 26, I was like, I'm done.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I, you know, that thing about looking at the past and looking at the future, I think that's like one of the most dangerous things that we can do.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because there are always going to be trapped on either side.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And it's crazy because in the present, then you make this really rash decision.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And you're like, oh,

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[SPEAKER_00]: When that experience, when you made that decision, like, what was going for your head?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Cause, you know, there are people listening right now.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The world's dire, gas is $900 a gallon, food more expensive than it's ever been.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But he's popping the balloon on dating apps.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, we live in like the weirdest fucking time in history, and it's like, you know, people are in dark place.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What was going for your mind in that?

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[SPEAKER_03]: The best way I can think to describe it because there's such stigma about suicide, like one of the things it's selfish, because it's like, why aren't you thinking of your family?

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[SPEAKER_03]: Why aren't you thinking of this in that?

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[SPEAKER_03]: And that's just it, you're not thinking.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And the way I try to describe it to people and I know this won't resonate with everybody.

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[SPEAKER_03]: is if you're late got chopped off and you were bleeding out on your leg and you were in that much physical pain you would be 100% focused on your leg and you wouldn't even be thinking about anything else so my emotional pain was so deep in that moment that that was the only thing I could focus on.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and that's so true, and it's, and it's, you can't see it, you know, it's like there's this there's this darkness that shroud you and and people on the outside will go, well, what she's in Hawaii, she's in healthy, she's like what is she have to complain about and it's like, well, okay, so what do you do now I'm curious what happens on the aftermath of this, what is the backside because for me, it was really is still took a couple of weeks.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Before I was laying in bed, I was like, dude, you got a fucking do something.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it wasn't like one of those things where it was, you heard these stories about people were like, I jumped off the golden bridge and I survived and the second I jumped, I was like, I don't want to do this.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, that was not me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That was not my experience at all.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm just sure what happened on the backside, what, what were the things that started transpired?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because here you're in this position.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You look at this from the perspective of, I tried.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I thought this was happiness over here.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Fuck this.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm still here.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So now what?

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[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, luckily I had divine intervention because what happened was, so I took the entire

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[SPEAKER_03]: I was blacked out, but I somehow managed to text a friend, which, in my mind, really shows because to your point, I've heard stories of people jumping off a bridge and immediately they regret it, and I think it's because our mind thinks we want something, but our soul wants something different.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So I think that was like,

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[SPEAKER_03]: True me reaching out to a friend for help because that's not really what I wanted for my life But I was texting her gibberish So she called me and I was talking gibberish so she's like I'm picking you up and she took me to the hospital I spent another day and a half in the hospital and when I got home I called a friend and I told her everything that happened and I ended with saying I can't believe I didn't die and her response was it's not your time

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[SPEAKER_03]: And that sent a cold chill through my body and I was still pretty high from taking all the pills, but like in that moment, it's like I sobered up just enough to really understand how profound those words were because I really believed her, I was like, I think I have a purpose.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I don't know what it is, but in that moment, I

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[SPEAKER_03]: how to purpose to figure out what my purpose was.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And that's when my mindset shifted in that moment from the victim mentality of life is happening to me and I'm powerless against it to, okay, maybe I haven't been living my life the in the best way, but I want to live it differently going forward and I'm the one who's accountable for making that happen.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So the very first thing that I did was I invested in myself and I hired my own personal coach to get the help that I needed because I knew what my problems were.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I just hadn't been doing anything about them because I felt so helpless against it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's funny, because I think most people fill the same.

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[SPEAKER_00]: They're like, I know what the problem is.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what to do about it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And my key to do, we all know what to do about it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But it's like the actual, the doing, because very similarly, on the backside of my experience, I got a coach.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I started taking therapy very seriously.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I started telling the truth.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm curious, because as you were talking in this idea about my own experience came to mind,

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[SPEAKER_00]: and I realized that I was so unhappy because I was lying all the time and I found that in

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[SPEAKER_00]: the space of really looking at what was happening in my life and the decisions that I was making it was because I just wasn't being honest with myself.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I was looking at my life and all these capacities and I was just like, this is okay, this is fine, this is what it is.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And there's something I think, and again, I don't know if it's true for you or not, there's something I think about when you're not telling yourself the truth, you then do things that are dishonest and disingenuous

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[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I think that's a good way to describe it.

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[SPEAKER_03]: For me, I had been, I knew I felt shame in all these other things inside of me, and I was just so afraid of facing it that being unhappy and miserable felt better than facing myself.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So it's, I feel like it's a similar experience.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I want to go into that with you, because what does shame mean?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like what were some of the experiences you were happening?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because I think it's a word that people hear, but I don't think people understand it.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and I don't even know how to explain it, but for my experience because I had that belief that I didn't deserve to be loved.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I just felt shame about all of my perceived flaws because I don't even like using that word now because that was part of the work that I did.

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[SPEAKER_03]: It's like.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Even the quote unquote negative aspects of yourself, like so for example, I used to have really chronic debilitating anxiety.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And I looked at that as like a negative trait.

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[SPEAKER_03]: But being anxious actually increased my intuition because I was always like extremely hyper-visualent.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So it was really about accepting all of these parts of me and understanding what parts were really mine and what weren't because the story that I didn't deserve

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[SPEAKER_03]: but so it was also part of creating a new story and accepting the parts of me that may not be perfect and and also like recognizing the uniqueness because I was almost going to say like may not be like everybody else but that's the whole point like why do I want to be like everybody else so it was just kind of embracing who I was and who I really am as a person which prior to then I really didn't even have a sense of my own identity because I had always been

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[SPEAKER_03]: living for things outside of myself.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So that was my moment to really discover who I was.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And it's like, yeah, I have these quirky, unique things that I used to label as negative, but that makes me part of who I am.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And it really, like I have no shame about it at all now.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's ownership, right?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think that there's so much of sitting in the reality of who you are and accepting it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think that, so I wrote this list of these 66 questions you should ask before you get into our relationship.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And the reason I'm bringing this up is because I think that there are these six pillars of life that we live in, mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, sexual, and financial.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, there's probably more, but those are the ones that I see the scope of the world through.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I realize as I was writing all of the questions and these categories that it was like a frame for accepting who I am first because people

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[SPEAKER_00]: like, I don't categorize us like us, but I grew up super people pleasing, codependent.

18:58.002 --> 18:59.344
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a survival mechanism.

18:59.364 --> 19:00.667
[SPEAKER_00]: I had to do it.

19:01.127 --> 19:06.257
[SPEAKER_00]: And in my early 20s, was the first time I realized, like, I have no identity.

19:06.758 --> 19:09.002
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was complete chameleon.

19:08.982 --> 19:32.408
[SPEAKER_00]: whatever your favorite color is my favorite color is whatever your favorite you know like you have a super cool glasses on if you guys are listening you should go watch our YouTube because she has the coolest glasses I'd be like oh my god, I love those glasses glass those are the best glasses ever made of all time you know I'm I'm gonna get some you know what I was just do whatever so people would fucking like me and and I realize that people hate you when you're not you

19:32.388 --> 19:38.079
[SPEAKER_00]: because we can, we can smell the disingenuous, I don't know if that's a word or not.

19:38.099 --> 19:44.511
[SPEAKER_00]: But we can smell that on people, like it's literally a sixth sense to sit across from someone go, that person's foolish shit.

19:45.213 --> 19:49.481
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, and you fill it a mile away, and then you're sitting next other people, you go, do you trust this person?

19:49.922 --> 19:54.210
[SPEAKER_00]: You go, no, you know, won't lie not, and they go, because that person's a fucking liar.

19:54.190 --> 19:59.839
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, that survival mechanism, it keeps you safe, right?

19:59.879 --> 20:09.915
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that you have to figure out what you're keeping yourself safe from, and then there's the massive unbelievable discomfort of allowing you to be you.

20:10.796 --> 20:11.097
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, yeah.

20:11.357 --> 20:14.161
[SPEAKER_03]: There was definitely a comfortable period.

20:14.181 --> 20:15.203
[SPEAKER_00]: What was that like?

20:16.752 --> 20:19.177
[SPEAKER_03]: Wow, I mean, in some ways, it was good, right?

20:19.257 --> 20:24.668
[SPEAKER_03]: Because it actually felt liberating to finally be me, because I had always been wearing all of these masks.

20:24.708 --> 20:27.533
[SPEAKER_03]: So there was a part of me that felt very liberated about it.

20:28.014 --> 20:32.583
[SPEAKER_03]: But then there was this other part that was first of all terrified.

20:32.603 --> 20:34.407
[SPEAKER_03]: And also,

20:35.163 --> 20:44.936
[SPEAKER_03]: regretful that I had spent so much of my life not being me because it's like, oh my god, I wasted so many years being someone else and I actually could have been enjoying my life.

20:45.758 --> 20:50.504
[SPEAKER_03]: And also, that was during the time because I used to work in corporate America.

20:50.524 --> 20:52.287
[SPEAKER_03]: I spent 20 years in corporate America.

20:52.347 --> 20:56.192
[SPEAKER_03]: And during this awakening, I was like, I don't even like this career.

20:56.232 --> 20:57.394
[SPEAKER_03]: This is not me at all.

20:57.494 --> 21:00.258
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, this is not like once I figured out my new identity.

21:00.298 --> 21:01.980
[SPEAKER_03]: And so,

21:01.960 --> 21:07.669
[SPEAKER_03]: Again, on one hand, that was very liberating, but it was also very terrifying to just quit and start my own business.

21:07.729 --> 21:09.672
[SPEAKER_03]: So there were definitely ups and downs.

21:11.195 --> 21:16.283
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, what do you think was the hardest part of like the ownership of who you were?

21:17.044 --> 21:24.496
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I look at my life and my journey and I'm like, I think the hardest part of all of it was just being like, this is my truth.

21:24.976 --> 21:26.879
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, if you don't like it, I don't give a fuck.

21:27.741 --> 21:29.183
[SPEAKER_00]: What was that like for you?

21:30.209 --> 21:31.172
[SPEAKER_03]: I think it was similar.

21:31.232 --> 21:45.231
[SPEAKER_03]: The hardest part for me was I felt like I didn't have any excuses anymore because I felt like I was always hiding behind some kind of excuse, but when you step into your true identity, it's like, no, this is who I am and I have to go for it and just.

21:45.211 --> 22:08.164
[SPEAKER_03]: live my life and take risk and because I get I think almost dying really shows you how much life has to offer you and I don't know I live my life now where it's like I don't want to regret not doing things and I just I don't want to spend any more time not being myself so yeah it's like terrifying but liberating at the same time.

22:08.583 --> 22:21.343
[SPEAKER_00]: for somebody who's listening and this is their biggest struggle right now like they're in the midst of this what's called an identity crisis midlife crisis quarter life credit whatever the crisis is there any crisis what would you tell

22:24.125 --> 22:32.480
[SPEAKER_03]: Honestly, I tell like all the clients that I work with where like they don't even know where to start to be able to tell me, you know, who their identity is.

22:32.500 --> 22:39.071
[SPEAKER_03]: I always ask them, go back to when you were six years old and what lit you up?

22:39.191 --> 22:46.504
[SPEAKER_03]: Just start doing one thing a day that lights you up and that always leads you to something because

22:46.484 --> 22:53.618
[SPEAKER_03]: And my whole philosophy and my coaching is we were all born with a light inside of us, you know, you see little kids.

22:53.678 --> 22:54.559
[SPEAKER_03]: They're running around.

22:54.579 --> 22:55.301
[SPEAKER_03]: They're screaming.

22:55.321 --> 22:56.283
[SPEAKER_03]: They have no filters.

22:56.363 --> 23:04.358
[SPEAKER_03]: They do not give a shit, but you go through life and my school systems family system society systems all tell us what you should or should not be.

23:04.338 --> 23:33.113
[SPEAKER_03]: So, and that's how we lose our identity, so it's like just start with one thing that lights you up, and that slowly starts kindling that light inside of you, and I cannot even tell you like all the creative stuff I've done, or like one of my clients like started painting again, and it's like it just really brings out this different version of you, but it it lights the way, like you don't have to have the whole path in front of you right now, but just start with the little steps and those add up to the bigger steps, and you'll come to it.

23:34.139 --> 23:58.712
[SPEAKER_00]: What about the people who are just terrified of it because I know right now if if I were to rewind this in my own experience Let's say I'm listening to some 24 so very long time ago and I heard you say that I'd be like that Is the dumbest fucking thing ever heard in my life right because that was that was my nature to to be like Why would I do something like that like not being able from the analytical perspective to connect the dots where as I'm with you

23:58.692 --> 24:05.082
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, yeah, I love all of my weird hobbies and the fun things that I do, because they give me that.

24:05.423 --> 24:11.292
[SPEAKER_00]: But there's a moment of time, and this is probably right there in the space of the fixed mindset, right?

24:11.332 --> 24:12.134
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

24:12.154 --> 24:14.838
[SPEAKER_00]: What would you tell people, like, I just, I can't connect with that.

24:14.858 --> 24:19.165
[SPEAKER_00]: This is nonsense, like, I don't even know why you're saying, what are your thoughts or,

24:19.550 --> 24:24.897
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, it's funny because I used to not lead with that, because I'm all about taking action.

24:24.937 --> 24:28.622
[SPEAKER_03]: So it's like set the boundary, do the thing, and then people would be terrified.

24:28.702 --> 24:40.036
[SPEAKER_03]: So I started leading like the beginning of the program starts with doing the thing that lights you up, because that starts giving you the confidence and motivation to do the harder things.

24:40.557 --> 24:42.580
[SPEAKER_03]: So I would say, just try it.

24:42.680 --> 24:48.207
[SPEAKER_03]: Also, who wants to turn down doing something fun every day or something that lights you up every day?

24:48.490 --> 24:52.716
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think a lot of people, unfortunately, and that's why I have the question.

24:53.377 --> 24:56.622
[SPEAKER_03]: And also, just to be clear, it doesn't have to be a big thing.

24:56.642 --> 25:00.408
[SPEAKER_03]: Like I mentioned painting, I live in Hawaii, so I'm very fortunate.

25:00.468 --> 25:05.515
[SPEAKER_03]: My one thing a day is usually surfing, but it doesn't have to be like this whole production.

25:05.575 --> 25:10.743
[SPEAKER_03]: Like if you like music, just listen to a song that you love and it starts like sparking feelings in you.

25:11.083 --> 25:12.946
[SPEAKER_03]: So it could be something very simple.

25:13.026 --> 25:15.730
[SPEAKER_03]: It doesn't have to be a whole thing.

25:16.942 --> 25:19.766
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that so is that where self love starts, right?

25:19.786 --> 25:28.880
[SPEAKER_00]: Cause I'm as you're talking and thinking about, you know, the journey is that people have to go through and think about your journey on the backside of this really horrific experience you have.

25:29.681 --> 25:33.847
[SPEAKER_00]: And we live in this society of, you know, the hype around self love.

25:34.568 --> 25:35.910
[SPEAKER_00]: But what does that look like?

25:35.990 --> 25:36.972
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you do that?

25:37.012 --> 25:38.975
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you actually like lean into that?

25:39.015 --> 25:40.557
[SPEAKER_00]: Does it start with these little things?

25:40.657 --> 25:46.105
[SPEAKER_00]: Is there like a puzzle you put together to get to that place?

25:46.085 --> 25:47.647
[SPEAKER_00]: what is that today for you?

25:47.807 --> 25:51.212
[SPEAKER_00]: And how do we get other people to step deeper into that for themselves?

25:52.033 --> 25:54.496
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I definitely think it starts with the small steps.

25:54.736 --> 26:00.163
[SPEAKER_03]: So for example, doing at least one thing a day that brings you joy, it makes you feel good.

26:00.203 --> 26:08.714
[SPEAKER_03]: And if that's part of your routine, like for example, brushing my teeth is part of my day, just like doing one thing a day that brings me joy is part of my day.

26:08.774 --> 26:15.062
[SPEAKER_03]: So that conditions your brain to realize I deserve to do something that makes me feel good.

26:15.042 --> 26:17.848
[SPEAKER_03]: one day if you don't do it, you feel like something's missing.

26:18.249 --> 26:31.819
[SPEAKER_03]: So that's absolutely part of self love, but even with other smaller steps, like setting a boundary, trains your brain to respect yourself and you eventually become condition that you deserve to be respected.

26:31.799 --> 26:41.653
[SPEAKER_03]: And same thing with self trust and all these other things and over time as you give yourself this happiness and you give yourself this respect and you give yourself this trust.

26:42.113 --> 26:56.153
[SPEAKER_03]: Like that's what where the integral came from because I started putting these things in action and it's like yeah I do respect myself I do trust myself and I just could feel this warm energy coming out of my chest and I was like oh this is what it feels like to love yourself.

26:57.753 --> 27:10.954
[SPEAKER_00]: It's hard to get there, though, right, because in the same way people will hear, I should do something that I deserve because it feels good and you probably relate to this.

27:10.995 --> 27:12.096
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to put words in your mouth.

27:12.156 --> 27:13.398
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to explore it with you.

27:13.959 --> 27:17.986
[SPEAKER_00]: But I feel like people hear, I don't deserve good things.

27:18.046 --> 27:19.408
[SPEAKER_00]: I only deserve bad things.

27:19.448 --> 27:21.752
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to do things that make my life worse.

27:23.960 --> 27:30.793
[SPEAKER_00]: So for though, like, how do you bridge that gap and like changing the frame in which you're looking up the world?

27:30.833 --> 27:37.767
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, yeah, because that's how I used to live my life, like I felt like I didn't even deserve good things.

27:38.708 --> 27:38.969
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.

27:39.169 --> 27:40.291
[SPEAKER_00]: So then that's what I'm getting to.

27:40.351 --> 27:40.512
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.

27:40.552 --> 27:42.435
[SPEAKER_00]: So then what do people do with that?

27:42.536 --> 27:42.736
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.

27:42.796 --> 27:57.004
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you how do you actually make that pivot into accepting that that's that it's even plausible for you to have good things that you deserve the opposite of everything that you've experienced for 20 30 40 years.

27:57.119 --> 27:57.480
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.

27:58.341 --> 28:11.343
[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, in my experience, if you challenge the story and you have them focus on the times, because it's like, well, have you experienced good times in your life, and they have, but they're just not focused on them.

28:11.383 --> 28:14.588
[SPEAKER_03]: So I've, I've noticed that it helps to,

28:16.087 --> 28:30.104
[SPEAKER_03]: just rewrite the story and I know you don't always believe it at first and that's not always the approach that I like to take but have them focus on the good things that have happened instead of the the opposite experience and that could actually also be a good place to start.

28:30.965 --> 28:46.043
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah when when you're rewriting this right and I think that's such a great point right we often start in this place of we feel so numb to connection with ourselves with other people

28:46.495 --> 28:50.080
[SPEAKER_00]: I think in order to write the story, you've got to connect some dots.

28:51.482 --> 28:52.904
[SPEAKER_00]: How do we get to that place?

28:53.024 --> 29:05.741
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, when we were looking at this idea of connecting to deservedness and something good, but we have all of this experience of all the bad, I mean, is there an actual process?

29:05.821 --> 29:10.248
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, is there something that, like, how would I say this right now?

29:10.288 --> 29:13.532
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was in a place that you were,

29:14.474 --> 29:25.677
[SPEAKER_00]: what would you tell like how would I actually like mitigate the risk of the the real rock bottom and start to create that change now so I'm not numb but instead I'm connected.

29:25.697 --> 29:32.010
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I mean, do you want a specific example because I can

29:32.699 --> 29:33.801
[SPEAKER_00]: whatever feels right.

29:33.921 --> 29:34.221
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

29:35.223 --> 29:42.956
[SPEAKER_03]: No, because I, um, I worked with a client once and she came to me with just super low self worth because she had just gotten out of a breakup.

29:43.697 --> 29:53.733
[SPEAKER_03]: And in her mind, she just like could not see a possibility of ever meeting anyone ever and that it like love just didn't even feel available to her.

29:54.294 --> 29:56.698
[SPEAKER_03]: So it was like this really, you know,

29:56.678 --> 30:25.690
[SPEAKER_03]: rock bottom type thinking, really, but I remember the reason I pulled her out of it is because and I usually don't go to logic, but I was like, okay, let's like narrow this down because she lived in a certain city or region and I was like realistically, like how many single men are there and how many could possibly be in your neighborhood that you would encounter every day and I actually like just broke down the number so that she could realistically see it and that

30:26.648 --> 30:36.439
[SPEAKER_03]: Sometimes you do have to see it before you believe it so I was just giving her a realistic number of like this is actually possible for you can you at least believe this and she could.

30:37.820 --> 30:47.910
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and data does not lie, as someone who's very analytical, I'm like, if you show me the data, that's kind of all I need, I'll figure out the rest.

30:48.010 --> 30:49.852
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, because I was like breaking down the math.

30:49.912 --> 30:53.476
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, how many people could you possibly meet in your area?

30:53.536 --> 30:55.838
[SPEAKER_03]: And it was like, I think we got it into the hundreds.

30:55.858 --> 30:57.560
[SPEAKER_03]: And I'm like, that's a lot of possibilities.

30:58.321 --> 31:00.583
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think that's true of everything in life.

31:01.003 --> 31:02.044
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what?

31:02.284 --> 31:07.810
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a very firm believer in the idea of like, if you were alive, you can change your life.

31:08.971 --> 31:17.725
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're here, you have the opportunity to do something, but you mentioned something about this corporate life and 20 years of that space.

31:18.386 --> 31:23.735
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm actually super lucky because I wasn't corporate America at 20 years old.

31:23.875 --> 31:32.970
[SPEAKER_00]: Like Deep Fortune 10 company where in khakis and a Polish concert to work every day corporate America, you know, and this is 20 years ago.

31:32.950 --> 31:44.747
[SPEAKER_00]: And I hated every moment of it and there was something that I'd always been driven about in terms of being entrepreneur because like even eight years old I was knocking doors like I've always been a hustler.

31:44.807 --> 31:52.478
[SPEAKER_00]: I've always been an entrepreneur and like I felt so stifled and so stuck and I realized that so much of it was.

31:52.458 --> 32:00.553
[SPEAKER_00]: I had to like unlearn society's rules even though I came from something very polar opposite of what a corporate life looks like.

32:01.174 --> 32:13.797
[SPEAKER_00]: Once I was in it, I saw all these people who were living that corporate thing and it was like, on Monday, you know, you'd be at the coffee maker and people like, oh, that's Monday and I'm like, dude, who shut the fuck up?

32:13.817 --> 32:15.039
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what are we talking about?

32:15.179 --> 32:15.580
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

32:15.560 --> 32:19.164
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, and you're in that corporate jargon and life fills almost so real.

32:19.184 --> 32:20.245
[SPEAKER_00]: It feels like a movie.

32:20.886 --> 32:20.986
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

32:21.006 --> 32:22.608
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's these sets of rules.

32:22.768 --> 32:25.851
[SPEAKER_00]: And I almost got fired from that job over five years.

32:25.891 --> 32:30.156
[SPEAKER_00]: I probably almost got fired like 15 times because I just I don't connect with it.

32:30.536 --> 32:40.707
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm just wondering, you know, for do you think that in order for people to fully embrace in the same way that you have that I have that we see other people.

32:40.687 --> 32:48.577
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you think you have to entirely unlearn those societal roles about what it means to be successful?

32:50.319 --> 33:09.343
[SPEAKER_03]: Honestly, I do, but that's obviously extreme, because I think if most people unlearned the rules, they would all, they would be a mass exit of corporate America, and then they would be nobody working at these corporations, because I am of the belief that most people don't want to be living their life this way, but it's just like how it's been built into society.

33:11.652 --> 33:13.316
[SPEAKER_00]: Where do they start to forget?

33:13.497 --> 33:15.622
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think about just, you have to forget, right?

33:15.963 --> 33:18.910
[SPEAKER_00]: And for me, it was walking in and quitting and being done.

33:19.311 --> 33:20.193
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna go figure this out.

33:20.615 --> 33:24.083
[SPEAKER_00]: I do believe this, I'll push to envelope a little bit here.

33:24.103 --> 33:27.973
[SPEAKER_00]: I think if you ever truly want to figure out who you are, you have to be an entrepreneur.

33:27.953 --> 33:37.248
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a stretch obviously and then I don't think that applies to everyone but it applies to me because it requires you to follow your dreams.

33:37.668 --> 33:42.997
[SPEAKER_00]: It requires you to show up differently, it requires you to take action and do very uncomfortable things.

33:43.738 --> 33:51.430
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you feel like that is something that's available to people or do you think that you have to have the rock bottom first?

33:51.832 --> 33:53.357
[SPEAKER_03]: No, I think it's to your point.

33:53.377 --> 33:57.871
[SPEAKER_03]: I think anyone can change their life at any time and anything is available to you.

33:57.911 --> 33:59.957
[SPEAKER_03]: You just have to have the desire to do it.

33:59.997 --> 34:04.491
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, but what if you don't know where to start?

34:06.142 --> 34:11.050
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, honestly, I would start with questioning, like, why am I doing the things that I'm doing?

34:11.171 --> 34:17.081
[SPEAKER_03]: Because, like, I could trace it back to even, you know, as a child, we had unspoken family rules.

34:17.121 --> 34:31.305
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, we swept things under the rug, and it was just a rule that we blindly followed in my home, and then you go to school, and it's like, you know, it's, schools sound so ridiculous now, because it's like, you memorize something and take a test.

34:31.471 --> 34:33.815
[SPEAKER_03]: And that is not how real life works at all.

34:33.835 --> 34:35.958
[SPEAKER_03]: So it's like, why are we all still doing it this way.

34:36.419 --> 34:47.337
[SPEAKER_03]: And same thing with colleges like you read, do you know 10 chapters between each class and then you take a few tests and you get like this piece of paper and that's what you need to go to corporate America and then.

34:47.317 --> 34:51.942
[SPEAKER_03]: as you know, corporate America runs a certain way with a gazillion on spoken roles.

34:52.563 --> 34:54.165
[SPEAKER_03]: And so it's like, why are we doing this?

34:54.225 --> 34:55.866
[SPEAKER_03]: Why are we doing the things that we're doing?

34:56.407 --> 34:59.190
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's actually what I recommend to anyone.

34:59.250 --> 35:08.040
[SPEAKER_03]: And I know it sounds extreme, but when you start questioning everything you do and why you do it, that really opens you up to a lot of things about your life.

35:08.961 --> 35:09.682
[SPEAKER_00]: That's very true.

35:09.702 --> 35:17.290
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, just the idea, as you were talking, I had this brief moment of visualizing myself

35:18.637 --> 35:19.598
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's such a thing.

35:19.618 --> 35:22.002
[SPEAKER_03]: That's how I feel about corporate American out makes me nauseous.

35:22.643 --> 35:35.580
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's crazy because you go in there every day and you pretend to be someone else because of the role you can't say this and you can't do that and you can't act like this and you can't be yourself and you wonder why you come home and you're miserable.

35:35.981 --> 35:37.884
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I was exhausted all the time.

35:37.964 --> 35:39.666
[SPEAKER_03]: And now I'm like, of course I was.

35:40.237 --> 35:46.830
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well, and people are afraid because they're like, well, and look, I get it by the way, you know, you have family of children, you have responsibilities.

35:47.651 --> 35:50.076
[SPEAKER_00]: I think you're insane to just walk away from a job.

35:50.156 --> 35:51.859
[SPEAKER_00]: I did that early 20s.

35:52.440 --> 35:55.807
[SPEAKER_00]: I was dead broke for like two years, trying to figure out the first business.

35:56.528 --> 36:02.920
[SPEAKER_00]: I probably did the wrong way, but it's also the most liberating thing I've ever done because I just,

36:02.900 --> 36:06.023
[SPEAKER_00]: You talk about this idea of seeing the things that you deserve.

36:06.524 --> 36:11.790
[SPEAKER_00]: My thought is like, do you deserve to go set out of the desk where people tell you what time you can eat lunch every day for the rest of your life?

36:12.410 --> 36:12.691
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.

36:15.073 --> 36:16.435
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's what I mean.

36:16.475 --> 36:26.005
[SPEAKER_03]: That's why I firmly believe that most people don't even want to be working on corporate America because why would you choose a life that you're enslaved to someone else's company?

36:26.322 --> 36:34.476
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so let's, let's pretend we're in the matrix right so we're we're in this space where

36:34.777 --> 36:52.214
[SPEAKER_00]: we come from this background in this experience of not filling one to not filling, lovable, not deserving things, suicide attempt, life is chaotic, getting pulled out of it, and then you're like in this position of, well, how do I actually become myself?

36:53.135 --> 37:00.262
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm curious, what do you think are the most important questions that people should be asking themselves that they're just not asking?

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[SPEAKER_00]: What are they, what question are they avoiding that could change their life?

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[SPEAKER_03]: Who do I have to be to get whatever things that I want?

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[SPEAKER_03]: because I think people are afraid of stepping up into that version of them because for example, like me, when I stepped up into that version of me, like I couldn't hide behind excuses and that's terrifying.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So everybody has their thing, that they're afraid of, if they're afraid to be seen because one of my clients recently was like, because she is in a sales position and she's like, I want to be successful but then that means I have to be seen.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So it's like there's always a new layer of fear in this next version of you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so how do you, let's go deeper into it because we've got a few minutes here and I really want people to walk away with a lot.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think we've given them a lot, but I think about there's the execution side of this, right?

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[SPEAKER_00]: So you see this thing in front of you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, here's fear.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Here's shame.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Here's guilt.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Here's insert whatever emotion that keeps people from actually doing the thing that they feel so desire to do.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I go into the store and getting paint and painting because that's the thing that they think makes them feel good.

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[SPEAKER_00]: is action, the cure all here, am I over simplifying?

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[SPEAKER_00]: What does the thing that gets them do the fear through the shame through the guilt?

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[SPEAKER_03]: I am very firm believer in taking massive action.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And obviously, you're not just, I wouldn't just recommend to someone listening if they don't like their corporate America job.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I wouldn't just recommend, okay, yeah, just quit and start your own business.

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[SPEAKER_03]: It would start with little steps.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So for instance, for me, in corporate America,

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[SPEAKER_03]: speaking up more and going against the grain of the rules, just to face the fear.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And once you can prove to yourself, like, okay, I did the scary thing.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And I survived and that gives you the confidence and motivation to go to the next scary thing, to go to the next scary thing.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So I'm a huge believer in taking massive action, but start small.

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[SPEAKER_03]: You don't want to start with the big thing because then it's way too terrifying and you're never going to do it again.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So just take the little baby steps and then you gain the confidence and motivation to take the bigger steps.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And honestly, in my journey, one of the biggest things that helped me, I went bungee jumping.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And after I went bungee jumping, like, almost everything I do to this day that scares me, I will think to myself, I went

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[SPEAKER_03]: Bungie jumping.

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[SPEAKER_03]: This is not even as scary as that.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So you could do like a totally quote unquote risk-free thing where like skydiving or whatever to prove yourself You can do the extreme scary thing and you survived and it actually creates a sense of pride like yes I can do this for myself and then that translates to other areas of your life.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So yeah, you could do like the

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[SPEAKER_03]: skydiving route where you are doing the big scary thing or you and or you could take the little baby steps to add up to the bigger steps to prove to yourself because that conditions are brain.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Like, yes, I can face my fear.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I do.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I can handle the consequences of my decisions.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I agree.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I think that I often look at it like this, I would rather have the consequence of whatever on the backside and consequence doesn't necessarily make it if it's just like out.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, right.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, I'd rather have the outcome of whatever the hell it is that I'm choosing to do now, then regret on my death bed and being exactly I would rather regret doing something than not doing something.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's scary because when you think about it, like you don't get a control outcome, then even all of the things that you think you get to control, it's really about energy, it's about your time, it's about your actions.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But I mean, I don't know the thing that you've been planning for a whole year could blow up in your face on lunch day.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's just how it goes sometimes.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I have a poster of my wall.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's my mentor, Tom Bill, you have a guy who's like amazing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Started quest nutrition, sold it for a billion dollars with his wife.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He's just unbelievable.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He's one of the greatest people who's ever been in my life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: He always used to say this thing, and I didn't understand it until we were at dinner one night.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And then I really understood, because we were talking about this problem that I was having.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But this quote, some of my wall, as you pass through the hallway here in the studio, it says,

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[SPEAKER_00]: the success, the struggle is guaranteed, the success is not, so do things that fulfill you.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think about that all the time, because just because, and this is the fucked up part, you could leave corporate America, you could be on the backside of the worst moment of your life, you could move to Hawaii, you can do all the things, and it still does it work.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And then you have to make a decision what's next.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because whatever it is that you think that you're after, there's no promise you're going to get it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And as someone who's failed six businesses before I had a successful one and someone who when I started this podcast.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The first month, there were 19 downloads and I'm pretty sure 12 of them were me and now we've done millions of millions and the first time I wrote a book and I was like nobody wanted to publish it and now we've done three, you know it's like you just have to make a decision to keep going so I'm curious how do you keep going because I know that there's hard days or rocky days or things that are in front of you, there's more success than then there's more struggle than success especially as an entrepreneur.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What keeps you going every day?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And what would you impart to people who are in this place where they're ready to quit?

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[SPEAKER_03]: What keeps me going every day is I have such a fierce belief in myself because when I first made the decision to quit corporate America, it took me about three months to actually do it because

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[SPEAKER_03]: I couldn't think about it without having a full blown anxiety attack, so I was like, okay, I need to get to the point where when I have the thought, I don't have a full blown anxiety attack.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And so basically what I did was I was like, okay.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Who, what is the kind of person who quits their corporate America job and starts their own business?

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[SPEAKER_03]: How does she show up in life?

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[SPEAKER_03]: How does she make decisions?

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[SPEAKER_03]: How does she act?

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[SPEAKER_03]: How does she move?

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[SPEAKER_03]: And that's how I showed up and trust me anytime I've done this in my life, life will test you.

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[SPEAKER_03]: to make sure that you really want what you say you want.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So I was like met with test after test in that three months.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And I showed up as the kind of person who quits their corporate America job and starts their own business and that gave me so much confidence in myself that I was like ready to take on the world.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Because like even now, it's like, because I'm getting ready to launch a new coaching program and I'm like, if it fails, I'll just try something else.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So it's a totally different way of living your life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm, what makes that work and the reason I'm asking you is because people will hear this and then it's like roadblock and the second they hit roadblock that old version of themselves comes back so how do you just how do you get through that?

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[SPEAKER_03]: Well, first of all, it's recognizing that the challenge is there for a reason because, yeah, it's totally easy to be like, Oh, now this has happened.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So that's not meant to be and I'm just going to revert to my old self.

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[SPEAKER_03]: No, you're getting tested for a reason.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So you can either step up to the challenge or you can revert to your old self and trust me.

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[SPEAKER_03]: It's way more gratifying and gets you closer to where you want to go if you could just meet the challenge and

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[SPEAKER_03]: You know, hit it head on and that gives, again, it gives you the confidence and motivation to keep going and you may fail and that's okay because you learn and grow from that as well.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think for me the biggest thing I realized and this was early on to in my entrepreneurial journey is that I had already been homeless.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like as a kid, I was homeless.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I lived in 30 different homes over four years between eight to 12 without my brothers, without my sister, without my mom, just getting bounced around place to place to place.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And so even in the moments, and right now I'm building this new business, and even in the moments of that, I'm just like, well, shit, if it fails, I've already been homeless, so I guess that's the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think you can leverage that and look at it and just go, yeah, the hardest thing has already happened.

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[SPEAKER_00]: We do this weird thing as humans.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if you do this, but I certainly do.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I've had to learn how to navigate it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And we do this thing where we just go worst case scenario.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's a survival mechanism.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, if this doesn't work, X is going to happen.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like,

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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, if you switch gears on that and you go, the worst thing that's ever happened to me already happened.

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[SPEAKER_00]: So who gives a fuck I'm going to try anyway.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's just vastly more empowered.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and I will say that's the advantage to almost dying because it's like, yeah, what's the worst that could happen.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I could die and it's like, oh, I'm not even scared of dying anymore.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So it just put me on a totally different mindset.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, same.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's part of you know, it's, you know, and it's unfortunate we had to arrive to that through those circumstances we did, but, you know, shit life is like that sometimes.

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[SPEAKER_00]: This has been super fun jamming with you today.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Before I ask you my last question, where can everyone find you and learn more about you and connect with you.

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[SPEAKER_03]: My, the best place to find me is my website, which is interglowbyangie.com.

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[SPEAKER_03]: I do have a book.

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[SPEAKER_03]: It's called Running and Slippers.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And I'm also getting ready to launch a new coaching program.

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[SPEAKER_03]: It's called The Interglow Overflow.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And it's the interglow as it's related to inner and outer abundance.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Because my corporate career was in finance.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So this is all about.

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[SPEAKER_03]: practical money strategies as well as the energetics about attracting abundance into your life as well as the overflow which would be like having the self trust, having the confidence and everything that goes along with abundance.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So, and the information for that is also an interglow by Angie.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Guys, remember go to think on brokenpodcast.com for that and more in this show notes.

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[SPEAKER_00]: My last question for you, my friend.

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[SPEAKER_00]: What does it mean to you to be unbroken?

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[SPEAKER_03]: Well, I think it means to be unbroken is to just be in the full essence of your inner glow, because that's when you're shining as you, whether you're quirky, weird, anxious, whatever, like it's just showing up as you are in your day to day life because to your point earlier, people can feel it.

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[SPEAKER_03]: So people will love you and respect you more when you're being who you are.

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[SPEAKER_03]: And I just think that I don't think there's enough authenticity in the world right now.

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[SPEAKER_03]: Because again, you go on social media and it's all filtered and edited and it's like, let's just be real life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: could not agree more.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for being here.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Unbrokenation, my friends, if you need a little bit more interglow in your life, Angie is your guide.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And if you know someone in your life who could use a little bit more and they're struggling or they're in situations like we've talked about today, you may want to share this episode with them because you could be an anchor in their journey in their pivot point and their story.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you guys all so much for being here and for listening, take care of yourselves,

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[SPEAKER_00]: And until next time, be unbroken.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'll see ya.