Aug. 10, 2022

Lesley Logan - Chasing Your Purpose | Trauma Healing Podcast

Lesley Logan - Chasing Your Purpose | Trauma Healing Podcast

Join our FREE COMMUNITY as a member of the Unbroken Nation:   How do you chase your purpose? We talk about how to chase your purpose. Living with purpose is about remembering why you started and living in a way that can be remembered...
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How do you chase your purpose?

We talk about how to chase your purpose. Living with purpose is about remembering why you started and living in a way that can be remembered and purpose provides you with the resilience to succeed.

In this episode, I sit with my friend, Lesley Logan who is the founder of Online Pilates Class.

Learn how to heal and overcome childhood trauma, narcissistic abuse, ptsd, cptsd, higher ACE scores, anxiety, depression, and mental health issues and illness. Learn tools that therapists, trauma coaches, mindset leaders, neuroscientists, and researchers use to help people heal and recover from mental health problems. Discover real and practical advice and guidance for how to understand and overcome childhood trauma, abuse, and narc abuse mental trauma. Heal your body and mind, stop limiting beliefs, end self-sabotage, and become the HERO of your own story. 

Download the first three chapters of the Award-Winning Book Think Unbroken: Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma: https://book.thinkunbroken.com/ 

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Learn More About Lesley Logan at: https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/

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Transcript

Michael: Hey! What's up, Unbroken Nation. Hope that you're doing well wherever you are in the world today. Very excited to be back with you with another episode with my friend and guest, Lesley Logan, who is the founder of onlinepilatesclasses.com. Leslie, my friend. How are you? What is happening in your world today?

Lesley: Oh, I'm amazing. And my world is pretty great, we're doing this in the end of spring here in Vegas. And so honestly, every morning, the best walks are of watching the desert flowers, bloom. So, I feel like life's pretty good. Can't complain.

Michael: Good. I love that. For those who do not know you as well as I do, tell us a little bit about your background and how you got to where you are today.

Lesley: Yeah. So, hi everyone! It's so nice to meet you and be in your ears and thank you for taking the time to listen to this. I'm Lesley Logan, as Michael mentioned, I'm the founder of onlinepilatesclasses.com. And I did not start there, I actually grew up in a very small town and I just remember daydreaming all the time that I wasn't gonna be there. Like, I really did dream of leaving all the time and that I would spend so much time on myself thinking about where I was gonna go. And I just didn't feel like I belonged, I had a lot of friends. So, if anyone from high school's listening, I had friends, but I just didn't feel like I was where I was supposed to be and I don't even know how I could put that into words then, but looking back, that's what I know. I went to college and I didn't feel like I belonged there either cuz I didn't really choose to go there; it was kind of like that was the only place that would accept me to be honest. So, I went there and got a job, did all the things, and I just kind of felt lonely. And it was about 2005 when a girl who worked for me, invited me to go to applies class and I made fun of it, I was like that infomercial shit doesn't work, but I was alone. I had no friends; all my college buddies had gotten married and moved outta town. And so, I went with her think, okay, the only time I have to do this class will go have some avocado toast and I'll have a friend, boom, like check, check all the boxes. Right. And in that first class I took, I did some exercises and in the first exercises, I felt muscles I never felt before, but I also felt grounded. I felt like I was in my body for the first time almost like maybe just being present in the moment for the first time in my life. And I changed the entire work schedule, I changed everyone's schedules at my store so that I could go to Pilates every single day. But that lasted for a little bit and then I still felt great when I was in Pilates, but I didn't feel good when I was not. And so, the opportunity to transfer to a different store, which happened to be in Los Angeles happened. And so, I took advantage of that in 2007 and I couldn't find a Pilate’s class that I liked and I was really frustrated because it was like the thing that made me feel like I was not alone. And so, someone said, Jess, did I be a Pilate’s teacher? Which now knowing me, you would think like, I would've thought about that already, but back then, I didn't know that I could change my career. I didn't think about that. I didn't have parents who did that and I had $50,000 in student loan debt. So, I kind of felt like I needed to stay in the job that I was in but here's, what's so funny is I became a Pilates instructor thinking I'll do this to pay for my Pilates habit.

It was in the 2008 recession. So, if anyone is remembering when that was and what was happening at the time, retail was not exactly the place to be. And I was so busy teaching Pilates that the person I was with was like, hey, you're not a doctor and you're working doctor hours, so it's probably time, you make a decision because working 80 hours a week to not make doctor money, isn't the best thing. So, I had to leap, I had to take a chance, I had to leave, health insurance and 401k and vacation time to work for myself. And when I did that, it was so crazy because at the time everyone was canceling their cable, I had a full schedule of teaching and I can only say it's because of my passion around it like, I was so passionate that everyone should be doing this, and this is the best way to connect yourself because what I found is the more, I connected myself, the more I could connect with others. And the more I had deeper, meaningful relationships, and that just spurred into me traveling the world, I used to travel pre pandemic 140,000 miles a year, teaching people pilates, which is always funny when you're traveling to Asia and someone looks at you like, what do you do? I'm like, I'm a Pilates teacher and they're like, I'm going on a business trip? What is happening here? And so, my husband insisted that I create an online platform because I was traveling so much and I struggle with that because I really do believe in the power of, in person but I knew that I wasn't really in person all the time and I couldn't do that. I wanted to create something that allowed people to get connected to themselves, but also have the accountability to show up. So that's how we got here into me, teaching Pilates online and coaching people, mindset, habits, and all of that.

Michael: There's a really interesting thing that I've noticed to be a parallel for every single person that I know to be successful in the world. And this is in this context and what I mean by that is, and I don't mean financially, I don't mean from a business owner perspective. I mean, they're happy, they're successful, they feel good about their lives is because they accepted the challenge of going all in on themselves. And I feel you said something that I think many people get stuck on myself in the past included in that where like, oh, I didn't even know I could do something else. You know, I was working a job at 18 years old at 19 years old and being like, oh, I guess this is my life, thank goodness for warehouses and being able to put microchips and motherboards, cuz I don't know what I would do without that. And then it was like, realizing, wait a second, I actually can control the trajectory of everything that's next. If I'm willing to take that risk. What was going through your mind in that timeframe where you're like, okay, I feel this passion, your word for wanting to do this and then having the willingness to actually step through that threshold. Talk us through that experience ‘cause I know there are people listening like right now and they're like, you know, I would really love to like fucking follow my dreams, but they don't.

Lesley: Yeah. I get that. And you know, look, it is hard and I think it's easy for people to look at my life now and go, what must be nice for her, it's so easy for her. Like, you know, I definitely credit even though my childhood wasn't exactly what everyone would think is picture perfect, I credit living kind of in the rock bottom where like, you know, the other shoe's gonna drop at any moment with being able to handle some scary situations. And I think that I didn't love that as a kid, but I do appreciate that now as an adult. So, it was a leaping isn't as scary if you know that you can count on yourself. And I think that is a key, like that comes with actually doing things that you say you're gonna do and that's not big things doesn't mean like you have to complete. Like if a marathon tomorrow, but if you say you wanna wake up early, make sure you set the alarm to get up five minutes earlier, it doesn't have to be an hour earlier, three hours early, but keep your commitments to yourself because I knew I could commit, I knew I could trust myself and I knew I could land on my feet just from always having done that in my life. I will say, it wasn't until someone said I should be Pilates teacher, that I knew I could do something different like it made my mind think about it. So, I had to picture it, I had to visualize it. You know, you talk about visualization, I had to visualize like, what would my life look like? How does that work? I did some research and it wasn't easy. I really did for over a year due two things. Full-time Pilates teacher, full-time managing a jewelry store. I was burning out and I got to the point where it was like, if I don't make this leap, I have to go back because I can't keep going the way it's going. So, if you're listening to this and you're in that place where like, I can't keep going the way I'm going, I hate to break it to you, but you have to do something really scary right now. And you need to actually really consider, like, look at all the data of all the times you shown up for yourself, look at all the times you've been able to achieve and survive things and like put that data in front of you and make a plan for making that switch. And one of those things for me to make that plan was I had to be really clear on how much money I needed to pay my bills. So, it was very different than how much money do I wanna make, it was like, how much do I need to pay my bills so that I know that I can, like, I won't be homeless tomorrow. I have been homeless a few times in my life. And so, I needed to know I won't be homeless tomorrow and that was those, that data and that evidence and that information made it easier for me to make the leap. And I will tell you this, the day that I left that store for the last time, it was like a weight off my shoulders, it wasn't an easy leap, it was very hard in a lot of ways, but at the same time it felt easier cuz I wasn't carrying the weight of doing two things and carrying two purposes.

Michael: One of the things that I recall when I left a fortune 10 company now for a kid from the hood with no high school diploma and no college education leaving a fortune 10 company is pretty fucking insane. And I had literally everyone in my life be like, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. And I will argue that the greatest thing that you can do as to your point, trust yourself and have confidence in your own ability to see it through. But I feel like a lot of people who initially take that leap have this thought of, if I build it, they will come and I don't come to discover that's actually not reality. This isn't, you know, a fucking entrepreneur business show, but it is a show about mindset and mental health and talking about the trials and tribulations of life and how we overcome them. What was it like for you when you took that leap? Because I know I'm going to assume, I won't put words in your mouth, but I'm gonna assume that it wasn't as easy as you thought it was gonna be.

Lesley: Oh, nothing. Unfortunately, nothing as easy as you'll think it's be gonna be and it doesn't happen on the timeline that you want and I think I was really young, then I didn't realize that now I know now. Now I have a little bit more detachment to that, but I feel like I was very determined, I was very, very determined to make it work. I was like, I knew I could go back to retail, but I didn't want to go back to retail because I really did believe in what I was doing would change people's lives ‘cause it changed mine. And so, I was pretty unapologetic about it, I mean, there was a time where I was at a strip club with some friends and this girl was like, oh, you know, she's like, what do you do somehow? She asked me what I did, I said, Pilate instructor. And she's like, oh, I love Pilate. I'm like, you guys should do Pilate before you come here? So, my mat classes that I had, no one knew what I did. I was a brand-new teacher were full of all these strippers warming up before they went to the strip club and I realized I was like, that's how you get it, you just have to tell people what you're doing and people, if you can solve a problem that they're gonna come. And so, those ladies coming made me start to go to the coffee shops and made me start going to the college and I just made it a mission any hour I wasn't teaching. I was telling someone what I did, and I know that that scares the introverts that are listening to this, let me just tell you I'm a gregarious introvert. I'm going to rest after this podcast like I do get my energy from being alone. But you know, the world does require us to engage with other people if your product, if your job, if your dream is to help others, you have to talk to them. And so, I just made it, like, it was just a job, if I didn't have a client, that's what I was doing. And it didn't feel hard then looking back because I've had to move and I've created other products and I've had to kind of start from scratch. I now realize like, it was very hard, but there was no going back. So, I kind of just was, I didn't let myself sit in the heart and like wallow or wonder, like, why is this happening to me? Why isn’t easier?

I think also just coming from a small town with parents who had to work for every dime that they had, I kind of, I wasn't disenchanted, I didn't have like those rows of colored glasses like it would be easy in people just give me things but it was hard y'all and it sucks and it's not easy to be new at something it's not easy at the beginning of something. But I also knew what I wanted, I really, really, really wanted every single person on the planet doing Pilates and I wasn't gonna stop until that happened. So, we're still on that mission, but you know.

Michael: Yeah. And I think clarity is everything in life. And, you know, from writing down your goals, to your mission, to your personal values, to everything. And clarity for me is really what has put me in the position I am today because I've looked at my life and of course the Unbroken Nation knows the mission of this show and the company is to end generational trauma in our lifetime through education and information. And so, you think about that, you look at it and you go, okay, now that I have this, I can create everything else around it. But I think so many people get stuck in not having clarity, not knowing where to begin. And was that like this shower thought for you? Was this a 3:00 AM moment? Like, how did you get clarity? Was it just that Pilates had impacted your life so greatly? You're like, oh, this is it. Like, what was the pendulum swing?

Lesley: Yeah. I wish it was a shower moment. I used to run a lot and so I got a lot of thoughts on my run and I only know this now, or I only know this since 2013. So, in 2008, I did not know this, but I think I was really angry and I was a really fast runner when I was angry. And I found out in 2013 when I got really happy that I started slowing down. So, but I would get these thoughts on my run and I just couldn't keep going the way I was going. I just was frustrated and like, we all want certainty, even myself like I'm a human being. I wanna know that it's going happen the way it's gonna happen. But I also didn't like showing up day after day, selling people handbags, they didn't need diamond jewelry they didn't need, and they were buying these things to make themselves feel better, but I knew how to make them feel better. And so, I guess kind of felt like I couldn't keep doing what I was doing to help people feel better about buying stuff when I could help 'em feel better in a different way. And so, on a run, I just remember thinking, I wish I could just teach Pilates, that was the thought. I wish I could just teach Pilates, which I know everyone hates the word just, but in that moment, like that was a very specific, I just wanted to do that, I didn't have anything, like, it was gonna be easier or simpler that I just knew that was what I needed to be doing. And so, it took me a long time to be okay with that because here's the other thing that people are listening, who have this leap to make you feel you're gonna let people down, like the story I worked for, they cared for me like I was a daughter, they flew me all over to all their stores, they had dreams for me to manage all the stores when the president, the owner of the store retired, like I went their house for thanksgiving. So, for me to quit, just felt like I was letting people down and upholder by nature, I'm a firstborn child like letting people down is like, I can't even cancel at dinner, I thank God for my husband, cuz he is like, Lesley, we can cancel it's okay, I'm like, but they've been planning it. Like I am that person who's like, if I say I'm gonna do something and do it, right?

So, it took me months to kind of make the plan and get to the point where I could even gather up the strength and gumption to say, Hey, I'm putting my notice in, you know. Here's what's so crazy, as soon as I said those words, I had so much confidence in the decision that I was doing, the decision I was making to go well and on myself and to help people. So, you know, that 3:00 AM moment was on a run and it took, you know, it might, maybe it takes you awhile to get the strength up, to make the decision, but pay attention to those moments because it really did change my entire life. Like I wouldn't be talking to you right now if I had stayed in retail, that's for sure. Probably would be without a job considering how retail's going.

Michael: Yeah, no kidding. You mentioned the word confidence a few times. What does that actually mean?

Lesley: Yeah, that's a word that's so interesting. My mom will always say you have so much you've always said so much confidence. I know that there's a definition of confidence in the dictionary that you all can look up, but for me, it's a belief and maybe courage is a better word because I feel like I'm scared a lot of the time when I'm doing something, I feel very nervous, because I'm excited about it and I want it to go a certain way. I also don't know how it's gonna go, right? You've been in business a long time; you have an idea of how things are gonna go and then tech can happen or something get like something can had happened so, but for me, it's a belief in what I am doing and I'm creating things that solve people's problems. And I know if you're listening this to like, how does Pilate solve the world's problems? Because I think a lot of people don't know who they are and they don't spend time with themselves and they, when they do, they're shaming themselves and they're talking negatively themselves. So, to me, confidence, it's a belief in myself in that even if I screw it up, even if I do it wrong, it's gonna be okay, because I'm gonna just show up again tomorrow and I'm gonna learn from it. So, it's less that dictionary word of like, I'm so good at something I've done it so much. I'm so confident, I'm nervous all the time. My husband was recording an event that I had to teach at and there was 85 people in the room, which doesn't sound like a lot if you teach talk to 10,000, but I had 85 people I was teaching in one room. And that at the time was years ago, I'd never taught 85 people in a room and in the front row as a bunch of people who have never done Pilates before that flew out a company, flew them out to take my class. There's also like other famous Pilates instructors who took the time to take my class and then there's all these other people. And I looked at my husband and I said, oh my God, I'm so nervous right now. And he said, how is this any different than what you're already doing? And it was that moment that I realized that I think a lot of us get nervous and scared, we doing a thing we already had confidence in doing. So, for me, I just really try to focus on believing in what I'm doing and just doing the things that I know I believe I can do. And the confidence and the courage and all of that comes.

Michael: A hundred percent. I thought comes to mind and I'll butcher this so, I apologize, but I was listening to Kobe Bryant and do an interview, and he was asked about being nervous, taking game winning shots. And he said, I'm never nervous taking game winning shots, cuz I've already practiced it a thousand times in the gym. And I think that's such a relatable concept. People ask me all the time before I get on stage even last week in New York city, they were like, are you nervous? I'm like, no. And the response that people get is give me is shocking, cuz they're like, wow, you're so confident. I'm like, yeah, but you weren't there when there were two people, four people, the mirror me practicing in this, in my head 10,000 times and that's the truth about it. I'm in full agreement with you. If you're not willing to go through the suffering of the doing it at repetition to create proficiency, you'll never be able to do it when it's on the line. You know, you see all the time in real life scenarios, those who are unprepared because they're going to fail and I would rather fail in practice than fail during game time, you know, Iverson's thing about practice, practice, practice we're talking about practice, it's just practice. Like that's so important because it is the practice in which you gain the tools to be proficient and build the confidence to show up when it's time to execute and it sucks. Like honestly, like practicing sucks, like it's boring.

Lesley: Oh, I used to cuz people ask, this is a great question. People ask, how are you so confident when you do video? Right? Like, cuz now everyone has to do video. Like you all have to learn how to look at the dot and screen, not throw somes eyes, like all the things but how did you do that? Because I've been teaching online for years, I've been teaching online before people got on zoom. And I said, you know, what's really funny? I took a random commercial acting class and they make you practice looking at a post-it notes while you make your bed and you are like selling an Amex while you're making your bed. And so, I practiced talking to post-it notes in my house, doing this thing and it ended up happening that when a very famous company brought me on to teach a Pilates class, they're like, wow, you're a natural, no, not a natural. I've been practicing talking to a post-it notes while sweating my floors, you know, these things. And so, I think people, they look at other people doing stuff and they think that was so easy for them, they don't see the practice, they don't see like the Kobe Bryant practicing game, winning shots in practice, they don't see you the twos and the fours. And when they see us, they see, oh, where we are at now, not where we came from. And I challenge anyone listening that's like going, oh gosh, it's so easy for them whenever you say that to yourself, I want you to picture them actually starting with two people and four people, cuz that's what they did. No one is starting off with 10,000 and by the way, you don't want to, you don't want your first speech to be in front of 10,000 people. I promise.

Michael: It's very true. And as someone who has spoken in front of 10,000 people, it's freaking awesome. But if I weren't practiced, I'd tell you right now, it would've been probably the worst experience of my life.  One of the things I'm curious about, you talked about mindset when you kind of introduced yourself. One of the things that I'm always trying to do on this show is explain what mindset actually means but instead of me doing that, I'd love to hear it from you. What are your thoughts on mindset? What does that actually mean? And especially in the world we live in today?

Lesley: Yeah, especially in the world we live in today. This is a great question. So, you know, the way I think of my mindset is how I'm gonna do anything, anything, right? So, and your mindset is going to determine whether you can do whatever it is you believe you wanna do. Like if, whether you're right or you're wrong, right that's what they say you're correct. We believe you're right or you're wrong, you're correct or whatever it goes here I am, but betraying things now. So, the reality is like I grew up with very fixed mindset, family. I don't think that's abnormal; I think that depending on your age, that was just kind of the generation I grew up in, you know, money doesn't grow on trees, penny saves a penny earn, we can't do that, there isn't enough, you know. I kind of grew up feeling like there was a success pie and a money pie, and like if other people had it, I couldn't have it. So, I grew up with this very fixed mindset and it really did determine a lot of the decisions I made when I was younger. And it wasn't until I understood other things and saw other things happen in the world and realized that there could be so much abundance or could be so many, like someone else's success actually allows for me to have more success. Right? It doesn't actually determine if I can be successful or not. And so, in doing a lot of self-discovery a freaking ton, multiple therapists, and lots of reading and just understanding, you know, and a third step being homeless I was like, okay, we keep getting here. So, to me, your mindset is really what determines your behavior, the actions you take everything. And even if you are taking all the actions that have a very successful and air quotes, whatever you determine thing, if your mindset is that it won't work, it will not work. So, to me, your mindset is like, basically your best sidekick in everything you're gonna do. And I have to check mine it doesn't mean that like I can, I believe all things are possible and I can believe that I can have whatever I want. But if there are days where I'm like this fucking suck, it's not gonna work. I don't think this is gonna work. And I promise you every time I've thought that my actions that day have been in alignment with, it's not going to work, so, guess what? It doesn't work. It's not even a self-sabotage, it's like I just didn't have the right mindset. So, I spend every morning in my morning pages, checking my mindset and I'll allow myself to have the bad mindset in those pages and get it out, get all the fears, get all the stuff, all the things I think could go wrong out. And then I write what I'm gonna do that day to reverse that, to prevent that and then I really do spend time on my morning walk, I talked about in the beginning, you'll look at those. I look at the flowers and if there's not flowers, I look at the dead leaves from the summer, or I look at the nature because it really does help me put myself in the mindset that is, I can do the things I believe I wanna do, the things I know are gonna help people and I can show up every day. And you know, I have to give myself that pep talk, but mindset, you know, there is a definition out there and I'm sure my coach, that I studied from taught me it, but the truth is your mindset is really how you take action in your day. So, you gotta check that at the door every day. And it isn't something that like, you just turn on, it's not your AC, you can just put like, put it on nest. You know, I wanna stay at this mood, you it's gonna change throughout the day and you've gotta be conscious of it.

Michael: It's fascinating to me, like in the course of any given day, how much my brain is like over here and over here and over there and over here. And I constantly am like, no motherfucker gets focused, do the thing right here right now cuz this is what matters and like pulling myself back to it again and again and again and again, cuz I think in initially I used to think all these people have just got it figured out. Like I remember distinctly, so one of the big openings into personal development for me and I don't give him enough credit is Brendon Burchard and so, I read one of Brendan's books early on, I was like, how the fuck does this guy think this way, like how can you possibly be positive and looking towards solution and wanting to have a life of prosperity and being willing to become the person that you're destined to become. And I was like, oh, it's just a skill, that's all it is. It's like everything else that we do in our life it's you must hone it and craft it. And the same as, I mean, if you don't ride a bike for 10 years, the first time you ride it again, it's gonna be a little wobbly, it's gonna be a little bit odd.

Lesley: I've done that by the way. It's true. You're wobbly, you can ride a bike but it's wobbly.

Michael: Yeah. And a hundred percent. And so, in that, it's just kind of like, you have to be willing to like, recognize the truth that it's iterative, you're going to have to just keep going and keep doing it again and building it and everybody, I mean, I think I'm like Mr. Mindset guy. Right. And you're even talking about running a marathon like I just completed my first one and in the process of doing so I didn't want to train, I didn't wanna follow through. On the day of the marathon I had, like, I was up till two o'clock in the morning, I couldn't sleep, the alarm goes off, these stupid things start at like 6:00 AM cuz some freaking psycho was like, oh, that's the time we're gonna do this. And for a millisecond, I thought to myself, doesn't matter, nobody's gonna know. And then realizing like the truth about this is the only way that you create anything in your life is through following through. And so, I got my ass outta bed, drove my car over there and at 6:00 AM, we did the damn thing.

Lesley: How did you finish? How'd you feel when you finished?

Michael: I finished and I was like, great. It's done. Next. Because that's just how my brain works and that's how I operate and it's just proving to myself. And so like, after everybody's like hanging out, having hot dogs and beer, I'm like, I'm going home. And so that's exactly what I did. One of the things that you mentioned that I want to go into, cuz I think it's gonna matter to somebody listening right now is you, as you talked about being homeless multiple times. How does that happen and how do you get yourself out of that?

Lesley: Yeah. You know, I think a lot of people look at homeless people and they simplify it a lot, they make it sound like, oh, they could just go get a job. I had a job all three times. They could live with friends or family. I did, you run out, you can't just like, you just run out. Like, it also feels like you're a burden on them, you know? So, the first time I was homeless it's because the college I went to didn't sign off and accept my student loans, so, I couldn't pay for housing because my, I had done everything right, I had made sure I asked for enough money to pay for housing, I did all the things. So, I slept in my car outside of a friend's job who worked overnight. So, I was like, I'm not just sleeping in a random parking lot. I'm sleeping in a parking lot where someone is working and knows I'm there to watch out for me, luckily that was only for a couple of weeks, it wasn't the worst. The next time it happened, it was just a matter of like, I didn't have enough money from the last apartment to the next apartment, you know? So, when I look at homeless people, I just know that there's a bigger story out there and then the third time I was luckier, I was in 2013, I had plenty of people who knew me well enough to know I could sleep on their couch, but I was couch surfing, all over L.A. And that happened because I left someone, I left someone that I didn't wanna live with while looking for a place, I didn't feel safe there. So that time I was homeless for about three months and it was honestly like, don't feel sad for me because it wasn't actually a sad three months. It was an eye-opening three months and I learned more about myself in those three months than I learned about myself and the 10 years prior getting to know myself. So, I was on a mission that the next place I would live and be with the last place that I last apartment I'd have till I buy my dream house and that was the mission I went on and that was a visualization I did and I actually did a dream board like I went to someone's house, like I thought it was so funny that I was like, totally had no place to live and I was living out of my trunk of my car and like sleeping on people's couches. But I was like, I'm doing a magazine visualization thing here and all this stuff, but it worked, it really did work and I knew I was safe and I knew I'd be fine. I also knew it was happening for me. I could only know that because of all the work I did before, but people become homeless because life happens like life just likes to life. And I was fortunate I had jobs and I had people that would allow me to stay so that I could get on my own two feet and I could get a new car and I could get a place and I could do all the things. And I honestly found myself in that situation just kind of rolling with. So, the studio that I rented from closed. And then my job, the other job that I had transferred me to a different, and I was just like, okay, what else just take away, whatever I don't need, where I'm going, just take it all. And having that mindset really did make it a little bit easier, I didn't feel like I was losing anything, I felt like I was gaining every time I felt I was gaining space. And so, the first two times were a little scary and frustrating and I was angry and the third time I was like, okay, here we go. And I'm grateful for it today, I really am grateful for that. I don't wish it on anyone ever. I don't think you have to go through that to have an experience in your life, but I do think it's important to take time, take stock of like, what do I have and why do I have this? Do I even need this right now? And that's what I did and it really changed my life today. I still I don't take on things that I don't need. I'm like, do I need this right now? I don't need it right now.

Michael: Yeah. That's really beautiful. And you know, being homeless for really a majority of my childhood and knowing that sensation of the unfamiliar and the uncomfortable, it was so much of my experiences and it's different obviously we're tremendously different in age when it comes to that experience. But I used to always blame everybody and I probably had the right to do so right at the time. But as an adult in looking at some of the most tumultuous and chaotic and unsettling and difficult experiences of my life, like that all led to something. And I think it's really easy to be dismayed by the negativity of life cuz I think you said it really well, life is gonna do life. Like life is gonna happen, whether you like it or not. And I think it is about rolling with the punches and figuring it out and navigating it because I don't know anyone who has it easy. I don't know anyone who even I'm in connection and my mentors are billionaires and like, they don't even have it easy, cuz it's not like the money makes life easier it gives you more access to shit, but they still deal with death and loss and pain and suffering and heartbreak and all the things that come along with that. You said something really interesting that I've found has held true in my life as well. And that's watching these visualizations that I have things that I put on my board, things that I write down, come to fruition. Why does that happen for you?

Lesley: So, I learned about confirmation bias, I think in college, it must have been, cuz I don't know, I would've learned it before then.

Michael: Explain that for people who don't know.

Lesley: Confirmation bias is whatever you believe you're going to look for evidence for your brain is literally trained to prove your thoughts correct. So that's how thoughts become facts even though they might not be. So, if you think someone's talking about you, you are going to look, you'll see them whispering, they're like, oh, they were talking about me, they might be asking for directions, you know, like, but we seek out evidence to prove a thought we have correct. Okay. So, I knew about this from the degree that I don't use. And I play with it a little bit, but I like to be conscious of the thoughts I have, because if you have like a negative thought, like, oh, this I'm like, Ooh, why would I think that, why would I wanna bring that on myself? So really try to do that. But when it came at that time, I was like, okay, we're kind of getting a reset here like here I am, I'm 30 years old, I have no place to live, we are getting a reset. So, let's take some time. What do we want to be seeking out evidence for? And so, that's what I put on this board. And here's another thing I did, here's a book that I don't think it's enough credit it's called Esquared, everyone. And it actually forces you to these different things and then look for the evidence for it. And so, I had done the board and then I read the book and I was like, okay, I'm doing this and it was an active choice, was actively seeking out evidence to prove my dreams were going to happen and that takes commitment, it doesn't take as much time as you think it does, it just takes a focus. It just takes like, keeping it in your mind's eye, like looking at it in the morning and doing it. And the synchronicities that happen or serendipitous things that you would wanna say that happened, they were insane, they were so amazing. And we're talking, there were little things, we're not like, Oprah didn't call. Okay. But she will someday she's on the board. But who did call Los Angeles magazine to tell me that I was the voted best Pilate instructor in Los Angeles. I said, I thought people like paid to win these things. I didn't know I was even in; I didn't even apply. Right? So, these little things were happening to show that my visuals, my vision, my wants and needs and dreams were going to happen. And I just kept looking for that evidence. And I'm telling you, it really did direct what I said yes, to what I said no to, because I would say no to things that I would like filter through my mind, like, is this somehow gonna lead up to what's on that board. And I think a lot of people listening don't know what to say yes to, or don't wanna say no to and they're saying yes to everything, but when you have an idea of where you wanna go, where you want to grow, it really does make it easier, it's like, if I say yes to this, do I see a point where this could like, make it happen? And there are roundabout ways that things also happen. But listening to your gut's also a key on that. And that, I know that sounds like obvious and true, but a lot of people are not in touch with themselves and how their body feels when they say yes and no to things. So, there is a way to do that everyone, if you've never like listened, how things fill in your gut, ask yourself, ask have someone ask you what's your name? Or say like, I'll say Michael is your name Michael? You'll say yes. Michael, do you have a podcast? You'll say, yes. Michael, do you wanna end generational trauma in your life? And you'll say, yes. You'll feel what all those yeses feel like and then I'll ask you questions that are an automatic, no, that we know or a no you'll fill it no feels like, and that is like the best way to fill it in your body. Right? So, for me, that's how visualization worked cuz I knew in my brain, I knew in my mind's eye, I could see it on my wall every day when I got that apartment, I had 20 legal boxes of clothes cuz my ex's lawyer and he packed up all my stuff into boxes, legal boxes, I had a peace sign lamp and I had a vision board, that's what I moved into my apartment with. And so, I didn't have much distraction, but I'm telling you that's how it work.

Michael: I think about this, literally, I just had this thought of when I was sitting in Thailand, I was writing the first book and everything I owned to my name fit in two backpacks. That's it. That's all I had, that's all I had to the world, but I had made a decision to trust myself and be like, go and do this thing no matter what, it'll work itself out, just fucking go for it. And one of the things I think was really interesting that I came to realize, especially in that time window, and it wasn't just like being on beaches and stuff, but just kind of like life, it was like, wait a second, you're actually allowed to change your mind. Like you're allowed to decide something different, even though you have so much thought about your clarity of this thing. And I say all the time, like if I wake up tomorrow and I don't want to do Think Unbroken anymore, I won't do it. And I think that's a weird thing for people to hear because we live in such a gung-ho fucking see it all the way through society. And I'm just like, you can change your mind. So, I'm leading somewhere with this, I'm curious about with the vision boards, with the career, with everything that you've built, have there been these pivots in this journey where you've changed your mind about who it is that you are and what you want?

Lesley: Yeah. It's funny. It's almost like that be careful what you wish for ‘cause, um, it will happen. And so, when I left my retail job to go all in, I had thought, okay, I'm gonna own a studio, I'm gonna be Mari Winsor. Like, so I figured out like, who's the person, who's the top person like, how do I do this?  And six months in, I was like, I actually don't want any of that right now, that's not what I want and so I made a pivot and the person I was with was really pissed about it. And so y'all sometimes you'll make a pivot, it pisses people off. He was like, that's not what we agreed to when you left the job, all the stuff, mind you I was not living off of his time. I was little, my dime, but I learned then I was like, oh, that's interesting, you can change your mind and it's good for you, but it can piss some people off. And that was hard for me, but I'm glad I learned that lesson, that was one time then another time I had said, I will never own a studio. I'm not gonna own it, I don't want that kind of thing. I'm traveling too much. And I pivoted and I totally opened up a studio, I totally did. And I didn't feel like I was a hypocrite or anything like that. I opened a studio because I needed a place for my dreams to be able to happen. I needed a space for that to be, I needed a place where I could film and I could do everything and I could invite people in. And so, people were traveling around the world to take Pilates for me at that space. And I needed a place for them to come. And a year later on a, it was 2019, we were on our winter tour, I used to, we still do, we brought it back last year, but we drive across the country and I teach popup classes on our way to Christmas every year in Philly. And I remember saying to my husband, I said, I really wish next year wasn't so booked up 2020. If we have eight countries, we have four retreats, I gotta do all these tours, I just feels like there's no surprise in 2020. I said, I just like, I kind of wanna change everything. I wanna change all of our offers, I wanna change all of the workshops, I don't wanna do, like I had all these workshops that I sold, I had contracts, I had to teach them and I was like, I don't wanna teach these anymore. And so next time I'll be more specific because the pandemic happened and cleared my schedule and I don't have to teach those workshops anymore. But my point is many times I've had to do that and yes, I do know the feeling of like, you're gonna let people down; you're gonna let people down if you do things anyways. So, it doesn't make it easier, but it is helpful to know that and just to keep that in mind, like you're just all, you're gonna let people down doing the thing, you're gonna let people down not doing the thing. But if you don't wanna do it, it's not gonna be good anyways. And so, that's one of the things I've learned is if I don't wanna do something, forcing myself through it, isn't going to be like a great thing and the fact it's going to ruin the experience for everyone. And so, I make the pivot, I make the change and that's one of the reasons why we moved to Las Vegas is like, I was like, we gotta go, this is where I feel like we need to be right now. And it was like the best thing we could have done. And so, listen to those pivots, I mean, like there are gonna be scary and it might take you more time than you than you think to make 'em, but it's also, if it is possible to end it tomorrow then, and that's what you wanna do, do it. You're gonna learn something from that anyways, you know, and I don't know, I always like, I think about what the worst thing that's gonna happen is most of the time I'm not gonna die. And to me, that's the worst thing that could happen like if you're dead, you can't change the world tomorrow. And then I think about the best thing that could happen. Like that's where I think people miss it like, what's the best thing that could happen in that moment with if with that pivot and that's gonna excite the hell outta you.

Michael: Yeah, and it will. My worst thing is dying with regret. So, you know, it's kind of very much in the same guys because I just look at life and I go. All right, you've been through all this shit, as many of us have, especially the Unbroken Nation and people listening to this show. You you've battled back from insurmountable odds, and somehow, yet you find yourself still stuck. And the only way you get through that is you say, fuck it. Let's go. Let's see what happens and be willing to trust yourself. And I mean, that could even be as simple as like, for some people like changing your therapist, it could be as simple as like quitting your job or applying for a new one or whatever that is. And my hope is, you know, people will find the strength in your word, courage, which I think is a phenomenal word to have the willingness to step into creating the reality that they want, because unless you do that, it's never gonna happen. And there ain't no Disney moment, nobody's coming to save you, nobody's gonna magic your shit into reality like you have to show up and yes, it's fucking scary. We're all scared but you know, the difference between success and failure in life, I believe truly in my heart is simply action, just being like, screw it, let's see what's on the other side of this.

Lesley: Yeah. Well, and here's the thing like, cuz you said it we're all doing scared. Action is the antidote to fear like any, like fear cannot sit where you take action. And action doesn't have to be the biggest thing you've ever heard of, it can be like, literally Googling the next step. So, it's gonna take away some of that fear you feel. And I say this on my podcast all the time, it's what brings clarity. And you talk about clarity being so key, it is. And I think when you take that action, I always get a little bit more clarity around how does this feel? Do I wanna do this? How's this going? Why am I doing this? And, yeah, I love that. You're fricking amazing what you're doing your mission is inspiring as fuck. And you know that, but I think the more people can show up where they wanna show up and be that courageous thing. And I think we think of courage as something big and huge and I did a lot of research on courage and it actually is like, just like people are courageous all the time. Just, you know, open the door for a stranger can be a sign of courage because it's like, this is a strange person, you don't know them, you know, but you can do little acts of courage, all the time.

Michael: And I think courage also is in those moments, it's doing the thing, you know, you should do. Like, we feel it. I mean, literally it's something as silly as opening the door, right? But you go, well, I could have done that, that person was 87 years old and they had a cane and they had an eye patch and there's a dog behind them and they're carrying groceries and you're like, well, why the fuck didn't you open the door? And I do think courage is in the little details is that everything of life is in the little details. Leslie, my friend, this has been amazing conversations, before I ask you my last question, can you tell everyone where they can find you?

Lesley: Yeah. I like to hang out on Instagram at, @lesley.logan and my podcast, “Be it Till You See It.” If Pilates has ever intrigued you, then you'll go to onlinepilatesclasses.com/free, get a free 30-minute workout, do as much of it, or as little bit as you want. We believe finishing is optional, just showing up is the most important thing. So that's where I hang.

Michael: Brilliant. And of course, we'll put all the links in the show notes. My last question for you, my friend, what does it mean to you to be unbroken?

Lesley: This is an amazing question. This is like probably one of the harder questions I've ever heard. And maybe this isn't brilliant at all, but for me being unbroken is loving myself and I don't know that that comes easy for a lot of people certainly didn't come easy for me, kind of always wanted to be better and then recovering perfectionist overachiever. So, the fact that I can sit here and really, truly love myself, love the parts I hate too, that to me is being unbroken.

Michael: Brilliantly said my friend. Thank you so much for being here. Unbroken Nation. Thank you so much for listening.

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Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.

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Lesley Logan

Chief Visionary Officer

Lesley Logan, a certified Pilates teacher, breathwork, habits and mindset coach, is the founder of OnlinePilatesClasses.com, the first free online catalogue of Pilates exercise tutorials, where you can also find weekly Pilates classes and workshops. Teaching Pilates since 2008, she has run multiple studios, has trained hundreds of people to become teachers themselves and has taught thousands of students. When not teaching from her studio in Las Vegas, Lesley she’s hosting her podcast Be It Till You See it or traveling the world leading Pilates retreats