April 20, 2022

E275: How to suffer to success | Mental Health Coach

In this episode, I will talk about how to suffer to success and the definition of suffering. So many of us are figuring it out, and this is what I believe to be the truth. Figuring out who you are comes from the discomfort of trying the things you...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e275-how-to-suffer-to-success-mental-health-coach/#show-notes

In this episode, I will talk about how to suffer to success and the definition of suffering. So many of us are figuring it out, and this is what I believe to be the truth. Figuring out who you are comes from the discomfort of trying the things you never tried, doing the things you have never done, saying the things you never said, living life authentically in a way that you never have because you've never been an allotted of the space. You may not believe this, but there is tremendous true power and suffering. Listen and Learn More Today! Join the Think Unbroken Discord community: https://www.thinkunbroken.com/discord Learn more about Think Unbroken and Pre-Order my new book: Unbroken Man. Plus, learn more about the free coaching and other mental health programs. Click here: https://linktr.ee/michaelunbroken

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You may not believe this but there is a tremendous amount of true power and suffering.

What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well wherever you are in the world today. I'm gonna read you something here that I think is really important, the definition that I really resonate with for the word suffering. And I really resonate with this because I looked it up after realizing one of the really ineligible truths of healing trauma is that there's a level of suffering in this, there is some like, pain in healing. And in that thinking about okay, wait a second, how do we actually use that to our advantage?

So, I looked up the definition of suffer and there were two variations that I really, really liked because they felt inherently true about this experience.

One is to experience undergo or feel something painful or unpleasant.

Two is to undergo or be subjected to a negative experience or development.

And I was thinking about this a lot, this journey so often we go to this place of because you're learning who you are and for the first three years after I have this mirror moment and it was starting to really step into and solidify who I was, the word that came to mind about that time frame was suffering like, it just, it hurt all the time like, I was breaking down, I was crying, I was weeping, I was just so frustrated with the world. And I was thinking about this what if we combine those two variations and built it into something? And I thought to myself like, okay, this is how I personally align with the word suffer and it's to experience something unpleasant so that you develop. I think that is the cornerstone of discovering your identity, unfortunately whether or not we want to admit it like, the suffering that comes in this form of learning and personal growth comes at a price like, for sure, a price to pay in this journey and that price is the discomfort of the unknown in the window in which you're stepping into discovery and that discomfort of the unknown for many and for myself for a very long time is crippling. And crippling in a way that action is detrimental and will keep people stuck for a very, very long time for some unfortunately as much as I hate to say this for some they'll be stuck forever. And I wish that there is a way to change that for that three, four, five percent of people who won't be able to tap to their power but inevitably I don't know that's true, it's my hope that's why we do, what we do. But you've gotta be willing to step into the discomfort of what it is that you don't know because you only know who you are today, you don't know what you're capable of yet because you have not yet crossed that threshold of figuring it out.

And for so many of us figuring it out and this is what I believe to be the truth. Figuring out who you are comes from the discomfort of trying the things you never tried, doing the things you never done, saying the things you never said, living life authentically in a way that you never have because you've never been an allotted of the space. But in that discomfort like, that's where this word suffering plays a role and I want you to think about whether or not you're willing to undergo the tremendous amount of like really of suffering of what it takes to get to where you want to go? Because you're going to have to go through many, many, many unpleasant things.

You know, people will look at, I hope this isn't as true as I know it is to be but you know, I think that a lot of information kind of reiterate and solidifies this for me, that a lot of people believe that my journey was just kind of like this one eighty and suddenly I have life, that is very different. There is no overnight success in this game like, I don't care who you are, nobody's has been successful at healing, nobody been successful at building life, no one's been successful at anything on one eighty overnight sudden occurrence. Everyone that I know who has gone through transformation has done so through just a tremendous amount of effort and energy like, I see it in myself, I see in the clients that I coach, I see it in the people who read the programs and do the app and read the books, there's something to the truth of that; that you have to just be willing to go through it. And the timeline is different for everyone and I think for some people they believe you know, you'll read a book one time or you'll go to one conference and things will be different but I don't think that's true, I think the crux of life is you're in this level of preparedness for the discovery of who you are and the difference between success and failure for those who have prepared is the willingness to cross the threshold into the unknown, into the void of what you've never experienced to discover the truth about who you are. And I believe that that only comes through the willingness to like, walk to that door, turn the handle and step in and that's metaphor of course. But there's some truth in that like, there's some really fascinating information when you think about it of the viability that stepping through a threshold is actual like, it's real, it's true because think about it sometimes like you're always stepping through these thresholds in your life whether at work or career or relationships or with the kids or personal development, whatever it is, you're always walking through a door or leaving a door; you're entering or exiting all the time through everything that you're doing all day long.

Think about this even in your career like, let's say, you work on an office. How many times do you walk through a doorway? If you work at home, how many times you walk through doorway? In your day to day life, how many times do you walk through doorway? Ninety-nine-point nine percent of those doorways they're known, you already know what happens. Like, I'll give you an example, you know when you go to the grocery store exactly where that thing is that you gotta go get. You know in your home exactly where that thing is that you need right now. You know at work exactly where you have to go for the meeting, that's known, there's nothing unknown to any of those circumstances except for the first time that you do them. And leading up to that there is this level of suffering in which you're learning and developing and understanding who you are to be able to navigate those experiences in real time in a way that is proficient and that only comes through the effort and the energy that you've put in up to this moment to understand what may happen. And then you go through the threshold, the door where you face the discomfort in the unknown and then you find out whether or not you were right. I believe that to be true about what it means to heal, what it means to live life on your terms and be the hero of your own story. I believe that you have to be willing to be prepared up to a certain point and then at the moment of truth walk through the threshold of discovery to figure out who you are and if you're not nothing will be different. And the suffering is about the learning, it's about the iteration, it's about the back and forth, it's about the discovery, it's about the finding out the truth of who you are and what you're capable of with having no prior information of whether or not that holds true. You know you haven't yet proven what you think you can do and I think that's the part about the suffering that's so fascinating to me, what am I actually capable of doing. Like, ask yourself this question, what are you actually capable of doing? You don't know yet because you haven't done it and so you have to be willing to step through the doorway to discovering that truth and the task at hand no matter what it is more often and the knot is very arbitrary because you'll find that holds true across many different accesses of your experience as a human being. You're always stepping through thresholds but at some point, you're choosing to continue to step through the same doorway as getting the same results thus not changing. And then comes this moment in time in which you have to make a decision on the willingness you have to suffer through finding out who you are and that comes to the unknown. So, in order to do that you literally have to be willing to say alright, I'm walking through, let's see what happens. And you'll find through the process of iteration and taking samples that more often than not you're gonna be wrong like, that's just the truth of it, that's where the factor of suffering comes in, that in my opinion, right? It's to experience something unpleasant because you're going to learn what you do and do not like and the things that we do not like are far more unpleasant than the things that we do, I think we can agree on that.

And so, in discovering and figuring out the things that you do not like or the things that you've come to find are actually detrimental to your growth, your personal experience and what you wanna build, what happens is you now have more data and information about the truth of who you are and, in that truth, you can further move closer to stepping through the threshold in the doorway of who it is that you want to be. And the only way that you do that and this is what's really fascinating and the only way that you do that, the only way that you truly, truly discover who you are, you do it again and again and again.

So, if you're in this place in your life right now where you're listening us and you're like alright, I wanna figure out who I am, I wanna be me, I wanna let go of the past, I wanna heal, I wanna recover one or whatever that thing is, you gotta step through it, you have to suffer yourself to greatness. You know, look at the guy, look at professional athletes who stand on the basketball court for instance they should have thousand free throws every day for proficiency, well you gotta be willing to shoot the first one before you get to a thousand my friends.

So, gonna say thank you for listening and I just wanna take a moment and give you huge amount of love for all the reviews, we're edging towards that two hundred this month, I'm very excited. So, if you're on iTunes or apple please, please, please go hit that five star, leave a review, hit the one star fucking if you don't like it, keep it real tell me like this the worst podcast ever. I respect it. But leave the review and let me know because we wanna make the show better. We've broken a lot of ground here on this show, a lot of really beautiful things are in the happenings and I could not do it without you.

Unbroken Nation, thank you so much.

And Until Next Time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

I'll see you!

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Michael Unbroken


Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.