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March 6, 2022

E230: How to Emotionally Transition Every day | CPTSD Health Podcast

In this episode, I want to talk to you about transitions, and I will be upfront with you, as I always am; this is an idea that I learned from Brendon Burchard probably five years ago. I talk about this idea of who it is that you need to be every time...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e230-how-to-emotionally-transition-every-day-cptsd-health-podcast/#show-notes


In this episode, I want to talk to you about transitions, and I will be upfront with you, as I always am; this is an idea that I learned from Brendon Burchard probably five years ago. I talk about this idea of who it is that you need to be every time you walk through a threshold.

The threshold is literal, like your door and who you want to be, how you want to show up, what kind of emotional response you want to have, and what kind of energy you want to bring.

There’s always these transitions happening every single moment of every day, and every single time you walk into this new situation, you have to assess who it is, that you need to be right now.

So, let’s come and listen now!

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Transcript

When you're moving through your daily life and you're going through, let's say from relationship to work, or work to gym, or gym to home, or home to school or school to whatever, or from friend group to girlfriend to boyfriend or husband or wife or two co-workers or to whomever and you're in these transitions in your day-to-day life. Do you find that it's difficult for you to switch gears?

 

What's up, Unbroken Nation! I hope that you're doing well wherever you are in the world today.

So I want to talk to you about transitions and I will be up front with you, as I always am, this is an idea that I learned from Brendon Burchard probably five years ago. Yeah, I feel like it was somewhere in that window and we were talking about this idea of who it is that you need to be every time you walk through a threshold.

The threshold being in a literal sense, like your door and who it is that you want to be and how you want to show up and what kind of emotional response you want to have and what kind of energy that you want to bring. You see, I used to be very much of the persuasion that I brought you here, the old adage, like people who bring their work home with them that was me all the time. Bring the problems, bring the drama, bring anything and not being able to let it go. And what I came to realize and understand is that when you're transitioning in your day-to-day life, the most important thing that you can do is ask yourself, who do I need to be right now in this moment? Because that thing that already happened is already happened, right?

Think about this, if you have this really terrible day at work, and you get home and you're bringing that energy into your house, think about the mood, not only you're in, but the impact of that around the people around you, can you let it go? Can you see it's the past? That thing that already happened, it's gone? You can't change it; it’s not coming back. Can you let it go? And if not thinking about this question, who do I need to be right now? I used to get pissed off, I hated working my fortune-telling job. I hated it. And I would come home and I would let everybody know, I hate my job.

People at the grocery store, people at the gym, strangers on the streets, I hate my job. I can't stand this blah blah blah. And you know what? My problem was I never changed. I never made a decision to change who I thought I was or who I needed to be in that moment. You know, we talked about this idea about energy and how you need to cultivate energy to be able to move through the world and how so often what happens is that instead of cultivating energy that is positive we get trapped in the negative, right?

We get stuck in that and so when we transition like think about how many times you've come home or you've gone on a date with someone or you're with friends, and everybody's like, what's wrong with you? People we can feel that energy, right? We're not asking you for no reason, most of us it's were curious, but we can fill it; it radiates, right?

When you hear people say, oh you can cut the tension in the room with a knife because you can in a palatable way, feel the tension in the room. And so if you've had this miserable terrible day in your bringing out to dinner with friends and they're like, what's wrong with you? And you go, Oh nothing. Well, (A) you're lying, right? So think about your values, is honesty, a value for you? And (B) like, why are you bringing that negative energy with you?

You can't blame your job for you being in a bad mood right now, because guess what? The thing that happened already happened. Even if you got fired, I'm going to say something crazy, I know I'm gonna lose some people here, but even if you get it fired there's nothing you can do about it. And so you can look at that moment of being fired and heading into this transition maybe you're coming home to a partner or your kids or to dinner with friends and you just got fired in your pests, in your world's upside down and blah, blah, blah, right? I've been there, I've been fired like seven times, something like that. So trust me when I say, I understand. But what I recognized was like, instead of thinking about this as a negative, whoa is me, my life is terrible, I can't believe I got fired, fuck my boss, they never appreciated me, all the things that we say.

What if you thought about this?

That's amazing because that job was actually holding me back from going and creating the business that I wanted so that I could have more time with my family and my children and gain more wealth because they were going to max out my potential anyway. There's a shift there, that is a different energy that you can bring to the table, that is a different way of thinking, but you have to get your energy up to do that. You have to move your body, you have to breathe, you have to get your shoulders back in your chin up and get unslung kept and just recognize that everything that happens whether or not it's for a reason, I don't know, I've still don't understand the truth of whether or not that's real but I do know that everything that happens serves a purpose, everything happens serves a purpose.

And so when you're transitioning and you're looking at your life and you're going from A to B to C to D to E, you can ask yourself, who do I need to be right now? Because when I'm hanging out with my friends, and we're out of basketball game, that is not the same Michael, who's hosting a podcast, who is not the same Michael, as who's coaching a client, who's not the same Michael, as it was running the other businesses, who’s not the same Michael, as when I'm in the gym. There's always these transitions happening every single moment of every day and every single time that you walk into this new situation you have to assess who it is, that you need to be right now, right?

And a lot of times were willing to play the victim because it's easier, will blame everybody else for our bad days, or their shitty job or that we don't get paid enough for that or our car got towed or whatever it might be. But the truth is, if you can switch that and look for the positive, right? Gosh! It might be in the first 100 and now we're approaching 250, which is crazy. And one of the first 100 episodes of this podcast, I talked about the idea of what would happen if you tried to find solutions. What if you became solution-oriented? Because you see all the things that happen in the transitions they lead you to this moment where you have to make a decision about what's next.

So ask yourself…

Who do I need to be right now, in this moment?

Since I can't change the past, can I think about the fact that maybe this open an opportunity for me to better understand my self, the world, the universe, my relationship, my career, my children, my family, my community?

There's always opportunity in every single thing that happens to find the purpose in it.

I know it sounds weird and I think I'm those hard moments we get caught up and we go, man, this fucking sucks is the worst, I hate my life, this is unfair, but if you can just pause for a moment and go, wait a second, what can I take from this?

You'll learn so much, it'll bring so much benefit to your life because there's always an opportunity to learn and in that moment of just that pause when you're about to walk into the next thing just ask yourself.

Who do I need to be right now?

How do I get my energy up?

How do I show up for those people?

How do I not play the victim?

Even if the circumstances suck but instead try to cultivate positivity in a way and look, I'm a realist, I'm not walking around here as Captain positive like, you guys know that I'm a fucking real list, but I'll tell you, whenever I can move my body, my energy, my mind, my spirit enter the positive state as you a massive change happen, almost instantaneously.

So, ask yourself.

Can I cultivate Joy right now?

Can I cultivate happiness?

Can I cultivate power and pride and ambition and not be stuck or trapped because something bad happened? Because if the answer is ‘yes,’ when you're transitioning between every different scenario, that's going to happen in your day-to-day life in that moment you're going to show up as the person you need to be not the person that you were 30 seconds ago.

So my friends, thank you so much for listening.

Unbroken Nation, it means the world.

Please like, subscribe, comment, share.

Tell a friend.

And Until Next Time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

-I'll see you.

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Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.