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May 7, 2022

E293: Who did you need growing up | Trauma Healing Coach

In this episode, I thought about showing up to myself, and I wanted to think about this idea…  Are you showing up for yourself? Who did you need growing up? Because I realized that many of us survive child abuse, trauma, the whole nine,...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e293-who-did-you-need-growing-up-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes


In this episode, I thought about showing up to myself, and I wanted to think about this idea…  Are you showing up for yourself?

Who did you need growing up?

Because I realized that many of us survive child abuse, trauma, the whole nine, right? If you’re listening to this right now, you probably would better get something in your life, especially in childhood. And if you're like me, then you discover the truth, and I wish there were an easier way, this is truth and not. And the truth is that whatever it is that you need right now, whatever that thing is in your life that you need, something that you probably worked in mind as a child, there's probably something you did not get. So, please listen to this episode...

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Transcript

What did you need growing?

It's a question I asked myself.

What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well wherever you are in the world today. Thinking about this in depth today actually was on a treadmill working because we even may know I'm training for my marathon, I wanted to do something to push myself physically, mentally, emotionally, I mean some say spiritually. And I was thinking about showing up to myself and I wanted to think about this idea.

Are showing up for yourself?

Like, I tie that to this idea who did you need growing up? Because I realized them for many of us survive child abuse, trauma, the whole nine, right? If you’re listening this right now chances, are you probably would better get something in your life especially in childhood. And if you're like me, then you discover truth and I wish there was an easier way, this truth and not. And the truth is that whatever it is that you need right now, whatever that thing is in your life that you need is something that you probably worked in mind as a child there's probably something you did not get.

So, I ask you who did you need growing up?

And now, I wanna ask you – who do you need to be for you today?

You know, there's so much truth about the way we show up for ourselves, about the things we do, how push yourself, how we grow, how we change, you stop making excuses, how we remove ourselves from toxic relationships and environments and peers ourselves position to be successful like, being able to reconcile the past and in today's real-time do incredibly different difficult things, whereas talk about the same time the way to build confidence of like continually doing incredibly difficult things consistently, that's it, that's the way this works. And I think about this lot in terms of you know who do I need to be.

So, I'll kind lay you out and maybe this will your little context and wrap this way I approach this. You ask myself that question, the answer ultimately, I need to be a person who believes in me, that's truth. I need to be a person who believes in me. I need to be who pushes me, I needs be a person who shows up, doesn't make excuses, who doesn't play, who doesn't find themselves in this situation of playing the victim.

So, when I continue to think about them, I go deeper into it about who do I need to me. It’s about holding myself accountable for a little thing, right? Did I write personal development? Did I read? Did I journal? Did I meditate? Did I go to the gym? Did I move my body? Did I work diligent? Did I build? Did I grow? Can I not to come up with reasons, to not be successful?

There are many days in which I don't want to do anything like, there's no way to phrase it, I know it's gonna sound weird because you listen to believe me which saying because people will go, I'm incredibly lazy, I'm unbelievable lazy, I'm mean lazy person you've ever met in your life, truly I am. I know that about myself, I choose to be because I know that I'm a person who is historically who has given up on themself because I was taught that it's okay to give up on yourself. I choose not to get historically, right?

So, what I'm thinking about who I need to be, it's a lot of, it's the polar opposite. I've heard so many of my clients over the years they'll tell me things like, I wanna be the woman my mother wasn’t, I wanna be the man my father wasn’t, I'm gonna be that person that I will deny and if you're in that too you can be. You have the ability to be that person, you can be whoever is you might be, you must decide to be.

And many people will not, look I'm gonna keep it real, somebody listening right now you're like, yeah, I get it and I'm fire of them motivated and you're gonna fail, you’re going to fail. And the reason why you are going to fail is because you're not going to hold yourself accountable because you'll come back to this.

Think about this, how many times have you taken of course? How many times have you read the book? How many times you listen to this fucking podcast and then nothing – nothing. And now look, they will say this is my life, be it. As you are in this journey, in this trajectory, you're gonna have mistakes and fallback which is fine, even this especially when you're like, I'm doing the thing for me, that's what's so crazy about this. You like, I'm doing the thing I feel like, a minute my life is getting better, I'm being the person that I needed to be and it wasn't there for me.

Well, think about this, it's a great context, let's say; you go two weeks and you don't do that behavior, that one thing that you know you should be doing but then you do it that doesn't mean you fail, and you now have an understanding that you can go for two weeks without doing that thing and that's far surpasses the two weeks prior to that in which you were doing the thing every single day.

You have to retrain your brain say, it's okay, I’m learning from mistakes, I'm growing, I’m iterate and in this process of figuring out who you are you don't know yet, right? That's what's so fascinating about this journey, I don't even know yet because I have not yet been able to push myself to the full capacity of being the person that I needed when I was growing up. Loving, compassionate, empathetic, kind, honoring, you know, all those things that one means coming through trauma. So, as I learning that, how to be that, how to get that to myself, there are hiccups, there are breakdowns, there are moments like, man, fuck up. So, keep going, keep putting yourself in a position to keep being successful because you are more successful today than you were yesterday, because you chose to show up anyway, that’s it, and giving yourself the thing that you need.

So, my friends, ask yourself this question…

Who did you need growing up? How?

Can you give that to yourself?

Thank you so much for listening, Unbroken Nation. I appreciate you.

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And Until Next Time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

I’ll see you.

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Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.