Jan. 20, 2022

E185: How To Be Intentional About Your Habits and Routines | CPTSD and Trauma Healing Podcast

In this episode, I talk about being intentional about your habits and routines. One of the things I think is fascinating about this journey is that we have to create new meaning around the things that we do daily. If you start working out differently,...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e185-how-to-be-intentional-about-your-habits-and-routines-cptsd-and-trauma-healing-podcast/#show-notes


In this episode, I talk about being intentional about your habits and routines.

One of the things I think is fascinating about this journey is that we have to create new meaning around the things that we do daily.

If you start working out differently, you switch up your body; you switch up your routine; your body and brain have to adapt to learning, and you're growing.

Have you really thought about why you do the things that you do?

Just get focused, listen, come ready to learn, and I'm going to do my best to bring massive value to your life and your trauma healing journey.

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Transcript

Have you really thought about why you do the things that you do?

One of the things I think is really fascinating about this journey, is the idea that we have to create new meaning around the things that we do as a day in and day out. So often like, if you think about habits, for instance, people go, I do this habit, it's part of my life, I just do it, it's routine that's the way it's always been done.

I find a lot of problem with that in my own life, and I think that you may as well, when you think about what I'm about to say. Why are you doing the things that you're doing? Why are you doing the habits? Why are you going through the motions of your day-to-day life in the way that you are? Is there a purpose? Is there reason? Is their intention? Is there clarity? I think one of the missteps I've taken in my journey is doing things for the sake of doing them as opposed to doing them with purpose or with intention, right?

Great example, you know, for four years of woken up at 5:30/6:00 in the morning journal, read, coffee, the whole nine and the other day I was thinking myself, like – why do I have to drink coffee everyday? And it was like – wait off, just always I've drank coffee for like, 10 years, why do I need that? What purpose does it serve as a real intention? Is there something beyond the idea the fact that I just want something warm in the morning when I wake up. And how does caffeine make me feel? How does it impact my adrenals?

The point that I'm getting to with this is our habits just because they are habitual, does not mean that they are intentional and I think you have to be clear again, this idea about clarity about why you're doing the things that you're doing. Think about this in the workplace, you ever get frustrated when you're at work and you're like, why are we doing things this way? Obviously, I know a way we can do it better, I know I have a better idea, this will work, this will flow, it'll help everything or in relationships or friendships or anything, it doesn't matter and you're like – I believe this is going to be beneficial another person or the company or the business, they say well that's just the way we've always done it and does that not make you want to pull your hair out? Like I've remember distinctly so many moments in my career of working corporate or working for other companies and people saying, that's just the way we've always done it like that to me is fucking asinine, why? Is that the way we've always done? I don't know.

Now, take what I'm saying right now and apply that to your life. We're in your life do you have habits where you're going I just this is the way I've always done it; this is just who I am, right? I believe entirely that is a fixed mindset and this hit me really hard the other day. Like, real talk coffee, I love it but what does it really do for me? One it fuck's up my sleep at night, right? Two it makes my tummy hurts, sometimes. Three like, I've never had a cup of coffee where I was like, oh, this changed my life, right?

It's something that I started doing because I was working myself to death, this is a decade actually probably 12 years ago. I was working myself to death, doing 100 hour weeks, running multiple companies, this is very much in alignment with where my life was a disaster. Now, I want to be clear, I'm not saying I'm giving up coffee forever, but like this morning in the last couple days and on the ongoing future I've made a decision – I'm not going to have coffee in the morning. Maybe I'll have it in the afternoon, but definitely not in the morning, why? Because I thought to myself, wait a second if I'm doing this just because I've always done it what value does it bring to my life?

Now meditation, journaling, yoga, stretching, and drinking water, I have intention around those things. I know that those serve a purpose.

  • They helped me get reconnected, my brain and my body as my brain and body, just got disconnected, go figure, so those things helped me become real associated, they helped me create meaning in my day, they helped me make sure that I'm on the right track.

Growing up in trauma, like – the biggest thing that happens is my brain is super chaotic and it just calms me down, it slows everything down. So, I've intention in those things coffee made, no sense to me, I just like it literally just hit me like a brick to the face the other has a, why am I doing every day? It has no value in my life, but think about this too, what about if you're smoking? And what if you're drinking every day? What if you're eating fast food every day? What if you're lying to friends or partners our relationships?

What if you're only half ass working at your job and you're not really bringing value to the company? What if even when you're volunteering, or you're showing up you're not really there? Like, are you only doing those things? Because that's the way you've ever done it, or do you need to address reality and say wait a second, maybe I need intention here because I promise you things that have served you in the past, may no longer serve you today and you have to do a constant inventory about where you are in your life to notice this and whether or not it's true because I found in my life as I've moved through some things, no longer serve me.

I'll give you a great example, I used to go to AA meetings all the time. I started going wrong as a kid, right? And so I remember going with my mom and I started going in my late 20s, I will be clear with you, I've never thought I was an alcoholic ever, let's never cross my mind. It was more so I was looking for community, I was trying to understand alcoholism because it runs so deeply in my family and I just found that the more I would go and be in these rooms, the more I found that they did not suit me. It was not serving me in any capacity and that's not to be dismissive of AA or any support groups because I still have some that I go to because I think they're important, I think it's great to be seen and heard and connected to people, right? But ultimately you have to ask yourself. Why am I doing this? Why am I showing up? Why am I putting in the effort and energy, right?

You know, we become very habitual by nature, one, saves brain space, right? You've ever been driving your car and suddenly you're at work or you're suddenly at home or 45 minutes went by and you're like, wait a second what just happened? Your brain, one of the most beautiful things that it does is it takes on these autonomic responses and services to free up the space in your mind so that you can take care of handle other things.

Now, one of the things that's really interesting I cannot remember who said this, and I'm apologize but I was listening to another show recently, and they had a Neurologist on, he was talking about the fact that people who intentionally change up the way that they drive to work actually increase bring longevity into their elder years. And I was fascinated by that because I guess it's kind of that same idea of like even when you work out, if you start working out differently, you switch up your body, you switch up your routine, your body and brain has to adapt your learning you're growing.

So if you think about that in this context like we're in your day to day life are you doing things that are habitual that are not intentional and are not serving you and where can you kind of change up the routine, right? If every single day, the first thing that you do is you turn on TV, right?

Think about what that's doing, is that impacting your life for the better or if you grab your phone first thing in the morning, is that making your life better? What is your intention in that? Or if you're me like, why am I drinking coffee as soon as I wake up? So, maybe I need to switch up the routine and readdress and reassessed because like truthfully and, you know, this to be true just because that's the way we've always done it doesn't mean that it's the best way.

So take some time. Get some clarity.

Think about what you're doing on your day to day.

And of course, Unbroken Nation.

Thank you so much for listening, it means the world to me.

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And Until Next Time.

My Friends, Be Unbroken.

-I'll see ya.

 

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Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.