In this episode, I speak with our amazing guest Reneé Bergmen, DJ Dramos, Military-Mike and Coach Jana Short. I believe that for those... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/watch-this-video-and-change-your-life-forever-mental-health-podcast/#show-notes
Join our FREE COMMUNITY as a member of the Unbroken Nation: https://www.thinkunbrokenacademy.com/share/AEGok414shubQSzq?utm_source=manual
Join and pre-register at Unbroken Con at: https://unbrokencon.com/
In this episode, I speak with our amazing guest Reneé Bergmen, DJ Dramos, Military-Mike and Coach Jana Short.
I believe that for those of you who will follow through in this entire episode, you will take away so much. I hope, if anything, it'll give you some inspiration to move towards creating the life you want to have and being the hero of your own story.
************* LINKS & RESOURCES *************
Learn how to heal and overcome childhood trauma, narcissistic abuse, ptsd, cptsd, higher ACE scores, anxiety, depression, and mental health issues and illness. Learn tools that therapists, trauma coaches, mindset leaders, neuroscientists, and researchers use to help people heal and recover from mental health problems. Discover real and practical advice and guidance for how to understand and overcome childhood trauma, abuse, and narc abuse mental trauma. Heal your body and mind, stop limiting beliefs, end self-sabotage, and become the HERO of your own story.
Download the first three chapters of the Award-Winning Book Think Unbroken: Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma: https://book.thinkunbroken.com/
Join the Think Unbroken Trauma Transformation Course: https://coaching.thinkunbroken.com/
@Michael Unbroken: https://www.instagram.com/michaelunbroken/
Follow us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@michaelunbroken
Learn more at https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com
Support the Podcast: Become a listed sponsor!
Follow me on Instagram @MichaelUnbroken
Learn more about coaching at www.HealTraumaCoach.com
Get your FREE copy of my #1 Best-Selling Book Think Unbroken: www.TraumaHealingBook.com
RENEÉ BERGMEN - YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN ABOUT THE ENNEAGRAM
Michael: So, you're in this, you're going through what is the pendulum swing here in terms of your health starting to actually change? Like, what are things you're actually doing? What are you executing against? What is the game plan look like? What were the symptoms that were presenting then in that moment versus when you started executing the game plan you'll get into?
Renee: So, in that moment, I was having major swelling in my face. Like I mean, like I just looked like I had lumps all over my face, I couldn't get outta bed, I was so exhausted, I just wanted to lay in bed all the time. My depression was like, just overtaking me, everything felt awful. I had suicidal thoughts, I knew I wanted to keep living cuz I had children and I had an amazing husband, but I thought I can't keep living, feeling like this. Every joint on my body hurt, I was once a runner in college, I couldn't even hardly walk around the block without it hurting, my hormones were just totally tanked, my sexual drive was just didn't even exist, it was like I had no hormones. And so, the game plan was EMDR, so I did some intensive EMDR, lots of therapy and then, I had a major surgery in my mouth to have the implants in my mouth removed, they found a ton of infection in there at the time. My husband and I were serving people who lived outside, who lived in our neighborhood, we were getting to know them while becoming friends with them, inviting them into our community. And a couple of them that we, you know, knew were safe and that we had had built relationship for a while, we had let them come shower at our house. And because my immune system was so shot, I picked up a terrible infection from one of them that when the doctors found it, they were like you don't have this, unless you live outside or you live in a third world country, like what have you been doing? I said, well, I have homeless people that shower in my house and he was like that'll do it. And so, it was a huge infection that was riddled, went all into my limb system and so, then I did high doses of vitamin C, therapy and a lot of gut restore. So, I had a bunch of gut infections and parasites, and so tons of herbs and different supplements to really help combat that, had candida going on, which is an overgrowth of yeast. So, we were fighting that off with diet, I changed my diet radically, I began eating all whole foods, I had to cut out gluten because I was diagnosed with celiac disease and I began really increasing the amount of vegetables that I ate and cut out drinking, I just began drinking tons of water, I just really started taking care of myself plus all of this stuff that the doctor was doing. The surgery in my mouth was key, having things in your mouth is it's something that I actually ask a lot of my clients because lots of people have infections in their mouth and they have no idea but that was a huge part of it.
And then really working on stress. He just kept saying to me, stress doesn't just go away, you have to learn to deal with it. You gotta learn breathing. And so, I started doing yoga really religiously, my spiritual practices really increased I began meditating a lot with God and feeling like prayer was something that was worthwhile again, sitting in silence, being alone, something that was really big with being someone that had been abused is being alone was really scary because being alone with my own thoughts was so overwhelming. But as I began to heal, being alone was such a key component for this extrovert to realize that you need alone time, you need to process your thoughts and have silence. So, that was a lot of what I did and that's what I continue to do. I have a sauna in my home, like I have a home sauna that I get into quite often, I eat really healthy. I still enjoy life, I still have birthday cake with my kids on their birthdays and I still celebrate, I just went to Mexico and had wonderful margaritas. So, I'm not in this world of like, Oh, you just get rid of anything that's bad and then you go in that direction, you know, cuz then you can go super crazy in that direction of don't ever eat anything that's bad for you and don't ever have an ounce of sugar or alcohol. Learning to live life balanced was like just such a huge part of the journey to celebrate when celebration was necessary to mourn when morning was necessary to be able to both joy and grief at the same time that it was okay for both of those to exist. Especially after losing my son, you know, I've barely touched on that, that was such a huge, huge, monumental part of my story that my body just like freaked out from because you lose something that was a part of you. And to be okay, that I could celebrate my children that were here and still grieve him, I know this is a long answer, but I think when you're really getting to the root of your health, and you're seeing the physical sides of like needing to go after the infections, you know, heal your gut, change your microbiome, increase your hormones, I started taking natural hormones to like boost that back up, all of those things were so necessary, but they wouldn't have fixed at all if I wasn't also dealing with the sadness and the stress. And I got off an antidepressant that I had been on for like 10 years, it was out of being forced, they thought that I had an allergy to it and it was terrible going off of it. But now I've gone seven years without antidepressants and it doesn't mean I don't have sad days, but I've learned how to really use, you know, food as medicine and supplementation and meditation. And I'm not anti-medication please hear me, especially when we've walked through some of the hard stuff that all of us have walked through. There is absolutely a time and a place for it, but I was being forced to go off of it so, I had to figure something out. I had to figure out how to survive without it, because I was being told I couldn't take it. And so, I'm really grateful that I've been able to stay off of it but if at any point I felt like it was necessary, I would absolutely seek someone out to find that help. So, I always wanna make that really clear cuz sometimes in the natural world, there's kind of this like battle between traditional medicine and natural medicine. And I think there can be a role, hugging of those two worlds and sometimes there's a necessity for both.
DJ DRAMOS - THE SECRET TO LIVING A FULFILLING LIFE
Michael: So, what I'd love to start with and dive into a little bit deeper here is, you know, folks listening of the Unbroken Nation, these amazing people that are trying to create this massive change in their life. And maybe they hear us and like, yeah, I get that, man. I feel so small every day. Like, what thoughts do you have about that?
Dramos: I think first and foremost, don't beat yourself up about it. Right? I think we have this sort of thing that happens when we do something that we don't like, or we feel like is lesser than us, we shame ourselves. Right? We have this negative talk, that we talk to ourselves in a way that we would never talk to anybody else. And I think, you know, that's the first thing, you know, you have to understand that, you are not broken, there is not something wrong with you, you know, you're just acting out a pattern that you were taught somewhere, some way, you know, and sometimes it helps to view yourself as like a child, you know, because you would never most rational people would never be disgusting to a child as far as like saying, you know, disparaging things to them or wanna hurt a child. Right? You wanna, you know, take care of a child cuz you understand the beauty and innocence in that child. Right? So, I think that's the start, you know, is just not shaming yourself when it comes to these things, you know? And then I think you have to kind of think about the life that you wanna lead, you wanna live a life that is worthy of you because we're all and able to do amazing things, you know, just takes us kind of being able to tap into the different sides of ourselves and kind of push against some of the narratives that we've been taught, you know? And at the end of the day, anybody that you meet that may want you to be smaller, may try and make you feel smaller, that doesn't want you to show up as your full and authentic self. Like that's not somebody that's meant to be in your life. Right? And you have to get really okay with that. You have to be okay with the fact that some people just are not meant to be in your life, and it's not up to you to try to convince them to like you to try and convince them to want you around.
You as yourself is enough. And if it's not for that person, it's okay to move on from that, you know, but don't make yourself smaller just to, you know, appease somebody who really doesn't hold much value in your life. When you really think about it.
Michael: Yeah. I mean, that's spot on and I've spent so much time, especially over probably the last five or six years, just looking at the environment that I'm in and asking myself, does this serve me? Right? Do these people bring value to my life? Does it make sense I'm in this situation? Am I in alignment with my values? And I think so many people get caught up and they're like, yeah, but they've been my friends for 20 years and I'm like, but they're doing the same shit you guys did 20 years ago, right? Like where is the growth here? Jay-Z has one of my favorite quotes of all time. People around you saying that you changed, why didn't do all this work to stay the same. And I think that so much of this journey in the willingness to be like, I've done this work, I don't want to be who I was yesterday anymore. I think in that, unfortunately, or fortunately, I guess the way that you look at it, there are people who are going to be removed from your life. Have you handled that? Cuz I think so many people get caught up in that and they're just like, I just can't, they've known them forever, but how do you decipher whether or not you're making the right decision in that moment?
Dramos: I think you have to first and foremost dedicate yourself to a life of growth. Right? I think that is, if you really broke down the name of the game, when it comes to life in general, it's all about evolution, right? Like we shouldn't be the same person we were 10 years ago. Right? Like we should have learned something within those 10 years. And as much as you'd love to take people with you, if they're not on the same journey as you have to kind of let them go their own path. Right? And there's something beautiful about that and that doesn't mean it's forever, maybe at some point in life, they will, you know, stop going to the bars every weekend, you know, with the idea of just wanting to hook up with girls all day or something like that, like that's something I've had to, kind of come to terms with that. You know, same thing, like you said, my friends are doing the same shit we were doing in our twenties, and not much has changed for them, and I'm not here for that anymore. I'm looking for something more out of life.
Now that doesn't mean that God forbid something bad happens to them. I'm not gonna be here to answer their call, you know, of course, for my friends who I've shared a lot with, they always have that, but it doesn't mean I have to keep them in my circle on a regular basis. Like I used to, you know, I have to kind let them go off and do their own path and if our paths never cross again, it wasn't meant to be for us to have a lifelong relationship. You know, it's just like a romantic relationship. I mean, how many people had, you know, middle school girlfriends or high school girlfriends? Right? I don't think most of us are pining over like the girl that broke our heart in fifth grade. You know what I mean? Like we recognize that was an elementary school relationship. Like, you know, I don't know that person anymore, you know, my life is drastically different than it was in fifth grade. And you kind of have to look at it that way with certain friends. You have to get clear on the life that you want and anything that doesn't align with that is at the end of the day, holding you back. And that means people as well. So, while it's difficult while, you know, of course it's not an easy decision or an easy process to kind of go through. At the end of the day, you have to have a dedication to becoming a happier, far more evolved person and a more fulfilled person as a result.
MILITARY-MIKE - POWERFUL FACTS ABOUT HEALING TRAUMA THAT WILL TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE
Michael: There's nothing like I don't think people really understand the power of a sacrifice that you're not ready to make until you have to make it. And you've done that multiple times, talk to me about that like realizing these moments in which you're like I got to make a sacrifice even if I'm not ready and the impact that that has on your life, whether good or bad?
Military-Mike: Yeah. It's a huge crossroads, I think right in your life and just like you said, Mike like you gotta see you got a project right? A little bit, you have to say; ‘Okay, Am I going to be better off in the future by making the sacrifice right now? Or am I going to be, you know worse off just kind of staying in this environment.’
We've all heard the phrase, you know, you're a sum total of the five closest people in your life, right? Or I would say five closest influences because they don't necessarily always have to be people, they can be things, that can be books, they can be, you know, whatever you're doing spiritually, but yeah, you got to make that choice and, you know, for me and as a veteran and for, you know, other veterans that might be listening to this, you know, you have to when you experience that sacrifice that you aren't ready to make and you're still in you have three choices, right? And I know you've all have seen maybe someone experienced this or maybe you've gone through yourself, you know, but that feeling of needing to lash out, right? What does that do for you? Really at the end of the day, like if you can, you can kick, you can screen, you can punch, you can do whatever you want, but that doesn't solve your problem, right? You can opt-out you can end your life, right? But is that a solution? Is that really something that is going to help solve anyone's issue? It's going to cause more problems will cause more problems for the people you leave behind, right? And it doesn't do anything to help, you know, you, when your future, and all the things, all the positive changes, all the good that you can do and bring right or you can get out, right? Choose for me, it was choosing to get out, but not getting out violently getting out, smartly, right? And choosing to invest in that time to personally develop myself on my way out the door, but that's how, you know, I choose to, you know, make that sacrifice as calmly as I can make it and then, try and better myself on the back-end of whatever situation I'm going through because I always have to remind myself the situation that I'm in right now is not as important as where I'm going. I was taught that you know, someone told me that while it's the Naval Academy and that Mentor still a positive father figure in my life, and I was kind of going through a rough breakup at the time, right? Because of the rough breakup at the time but it was still something so pivotal and profound that I've applied that lesson to a lot of the sacrifices in my life since then and it's been and it's been great.
Michael: Yeah, that's powerful. And there's so much truth amendment and like look like someone who has had a suicide attempt in my own life, it was being in this place from like man, this is fucking rock bottom like I don't even know if I can go any lower than this. And at that moment, what was really spectacular called divine intervention? I don't care what you call it.
There was this moment, I realized this promise that I made to myself, when I was 8 years old, going across the street, to our neighbor's house and stealing water because we were so poor, the water company had cut our water, and I was just in this moment, like turning on their spicket, filling up this little blue bucket I mean, like, when you've grown up, this won't be your life, and as I had this final breakdown of all breakdowns, right? The Rock Bottom, could not go any lower. I was like, what are you willing to do to have the life that you want to have and the words, No excuses, Just results came into my mind and it has become the precursor for everything that I do in my life, but that required a tremendous amount of action to go from where I was 11, 12 years ago to where I am right now, having this conversation with you talk about the power of actually taking action against the things that you're thinking?
Military-Mike: Yeah, man. That's a great topic. Action is critical. Okay, so I'll break it to you like this; In the service, they teach us not to get pinned down. Getting pinned down is the worst possible place to be your enemy can flank you around all sides if you're just hiding their cowering behind whatever object, you know with all these bullets flying overhead, your enemy will flank you and they will get you, all right? So you have to keep moving and I think that's a critical lesson in life too. If you allow yourself to succumb, to your fears, to your emotions, to the depression, right? All that stuff will eat you inside and it will not only prevent you from doing all the good that you have the potential to do. It will also, ill cause you to see life through such a negative lens, and people by, and large are not evil, right?
I mean there, there are evil people. I'm not saying there are not, but things are not always out to get you, and if you live life through that type of lens, you're not living a fulfilling and fruitful life, you're not. So keep moving right? Tony Robbins teaches us that you know, your emotions are controlled by your emotions, right? So you have to get up. Change your action, right? Create a spark in your body. So you can give yourself more energy to get yourself out of that negative mindset that you are in. And I think that's critical and that's definitely something that I try and do when I'm feeling, you know, in those down moments. I'm not perfect, right?
No one is right, life has ups and downs and you're not and I'm not saying that you need to, you know, be Tony Robbins, but what I'm saying is that, you know, when you're feeling negative and if you haven't tried it before, try it, try getting up, try moving around, try keeping your head in an upright position, right? Maybe your chest out and do that little superman stance, and just see how your emotions change. Hold it for 2 minutes. Keep breathing, and just see what happens man, because I guarantee you, those two minutes changing your state from that negative emotion, you're feeling into something more positive, will be more beneficial for you in the long run, I guarantee it.
COACH JANA SHORT - HOW TO CREATE A HOLISTIC LIFE CHANGE THAT WORKS FOR YOU
Michael: Talk to me about that, the experience of taking these things in your head and putting them somewhere practical, not only for someone else but for yourself.
Jana: So, writing a book is one of the most difficult things I have ever, ever, ever done. I've written to you, and I'm working on my third. So, my first two I call them cheater books, because when someone asked me to write my story, I was like, yes, I want to share my story, and I remember spending weeks writing my story out rolling into months, and at the end, I had maybe a really solid good chapter, that was it. And so, for those of you who have written a whole book all on your own, yay! So this is my third book and I'm writing it all on my own but when you're writing your words out your story, oh my gosh, you could, it's like, my number one favorite thing to talk about is your superpower journey you've been given the story that you have inside is unique and like nobody else has and every time you share it with someone, whatever that story is. It's like think of it as heartbeat shooting out of you and touching and landing like touching and landing where they need to land and pulling those people in and giving them hope. Wow! He did it! If he can do it. I can do it. Did you see where she was at? Yet look, where she's at now. Why can't I? She's exactly like me, she's no different and it gives him an opportunity to see the possibilities of going through, what they're going through now, I'm to not give up hope and goal those extra steps to get to their goals, and I love Michael that you said that when you're manifesting putting something down on paper, by the way, is literally creating a roadmap in your brain, you may not realize it but writing it out is acknowledging it in your brain that it's real right? It's not something I thought of is not something that came out of my mouth. I wrote it down, your brain receives in the whole different area and starts processing that roadmap, writing things out is so important and when you look back, I hope that it writing, here's the other thing, writing them out, every day is so much even more important because once you get there, you're not there, if you want to lose 50 pounds, you hit 50 pounds as your life over and you're done. Done. No, there's more, there's so much more. It keeps expanding, the abundance, just keeps growing and growing and the possibilities are amazing. I never would have thought the first day, I stepped on a college campus to become an Interior Designer, that I would end up here in a whole different field thriving in it and my heart is filled by it every day. So you'll be so surprised when you start writing your story down, your message down, even if it's just for you, and no one else. Maybe you're not in a space to share it yet, maybe still too painful. I didn't share mine for two years and the day I shared it. I literally left the stage and threw up and the lady put her shoulder on her hand on my shoulder and asked me; Are you done? Can you come with me and my response to her was not very nice, like can I please just be done? What else is there? And she's like, well, there's a line of people waiting to talk to you and I look around the corner. I kid you not there had to be over 200 people standing there, waiting to talk to me because somehow or another through my story, they related, they connected, they saw hope, and they just wanted to tell me that and it was the most empowering thing to know that my story is powerful.
Your story is powerful and when you are brave enough to share because it's not easy, it's scary. I did not want to share mine, I felt shame and being sick. When I was to share it, and I realized that releasing it was not only good for me, but it was touching others and changing their lives. It was so much easier for me to do.
Michael: Yeah, and you know, what, here's what sort of fascinating and I tell people all the time, I did not sign up to be the spokesperson for childhood trauma. Like I don't even want this job, I don't like this job, I don't want it right? But I'm so driven by the idea that if we can come in a connection and create expansion through healing health education and knowledge, we change the world and there are people right now watching this or listening to this, or they'll find it in 10 years because we're, you know, we live in perpetuity now and they're stuck, and they're like, I know there's something in me and they're just like, I'm too scared to bring it out. How do you do that? Like, how do you bring that part of you out into the world and say, you know, what, even though I'm terrified, I'm going to get on that stage?
Jana: So, I did it out of. I don't even know why I did it. I didn't want to do it. I said no, for two years. I said no, and then a really good friend came to me and said, I really need you to do this for me. I need you to stand up there and just do the best you can. I remember the first time I spoke, I was so nervous and I kept doing this with my hands and I kept saying um because it was so nerve-racking. I didn't think anyone was listening and when I walked up and saw those people, I realized that it was they were listening and what happened for me to get me on that stage, I had to keep telling myself; ‘You don't know them.’ It's kind of dark out there, right? You don't even have to see them. At the end of the day, it's kind of like just talking in a dark room right? with nobody out there. So I went out literally with light blinding, you know, when you're on stage you think they're looking right at you, but we don't see anything, there's like lives glaring right in us unless they say, bring up the lies so they can see your sweet little faces but I can hear things, right? I'm listening, and that will distract you, by the way, if you listen too much, but I'm listening to keys. Are they listening? Are they laughing? What they should be laughing at? Are they quiet? What's going on? But I went into that dark space like I was all alone like I was just closing my eyes and telling your story. I literally, this is so funny, but I literally started telling my story with my back to the audience. I walked, and I asked him. Can I just start with my back? I promise you I'll turn and I came. I'm out and said; ‘hello. I'm Jana.’ I know you're back there but it starts right here, and that is how and they started laughing and I kind of ease me into it, right? And I started talking and I'm pretty certain, I'm like, yes, I have a face to and then we started talking and then, you know, the picture start popping up and me being sick and all of a sudden their energy transfer to me, and it became okay space to share and now that I do it, it like just comes out it. I've done it so many times then when I start to speak it flows out of me and it doesn't feel rehearsed, it doesn't feel like I've said it a million times because it's still coming from that space from the pain that I was in, from the fear, from the love, you know, that I was given to survive, it's still all comes out of me. So if you're fearful of it just go in there, start talking to them with that you're back. I'm telling you, it'll be funny and when you turn around and you're brave enough like when I'm brave enough, I'll turn around, when I turn around not only were they like; ‘Yay. Yep. I have a face, you know, they were so supportive people love you and they love that you've come through something and we have to be able to receive that love to start healing.
Military-Mike Foster is a Naval Veteran, Best Selling Author, Investor, Coach, and Multi-Passionate Entrepreneur, Military-Mike teaches veterans high-income skills so they can increase their earning potential and earn the American Dream they fight hard to defend.
The mission is to provide wholesome and personalized services in health and fitness to clients who seek holistic change.
As a Global Influencer in Health and Wellness, a seasoned mindset coach, public speaker, best selling author, podcast host, and magazine editor, my ability to effectively communicate and process information are crucial in giving my clients an opportunity to communicate, evaluate their lives, and understand the importance of healthy living. More importantly, my vast expertise in mindset coaching allows me to provide viable and permanent solutions to common issues.
My goal is to become a reliable bridge to better living by providing support, care, hope, and opportunities for new beginnings. My desire is to see a better world that is filled with people who are not only happy but also healthy and ready to explore incredible lifestyles.
Best known for his tenure as a Producer and 4th chair on the nationally syndicated radio/television show The Breakfast Club, Dramos is a proud Nuyorican who has impressively stepped out from the shadows of his National Radio Hall of Fame co-hosts, and carved out his own lane in the entertainment industry. Proving to be a jack of all trades; Dramos has garnered attention DJing prominent nightclubs throughout the country, hosting his weekly podcast “Life as a Gringo”, as well as being an on-air radio personality on the legendary Z100 in New York and hosting his own television show which airs weekly in 40+ markets across the country via LATV.
Armed with a “purpose over paycheck” mentality, Dramos uses his platforms to deliver honest and raw commentary on the state of the world; with the ultimate goal of being a positive influence and advocate for his community. From pop culture to the many injustices that plague the Black and Brown communities, Dramos continues to prove himself to be a well informed, and much needed, unapologetic voice for today’s media.
Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practioner
Renee is a Functional Health Practitioner, Gut Expert, Hormone Guru and Enneagram specialist. She works as a health detective to help health conscious people who are frustrated with exhaustion, hormone disruptions and lack of clarity on their health challenges, uncover root causes to their pain. Through formulated food plans, Functional labs and Enneagram focused connection Renee’s clients get to root causes and gain back vitality. Renee has walked her own road of trauma and abuse that contributed to her body malfunction. But with the correct focus and changes she herself has gained incredible healing making her the most effective person to help you through your health journey!