Nov. 18, 2022

Lori Lee - This One Tool Will Bring You Success | Mental Healing Podcast

What do you think about when you hear the word ‘fitness’? Holistic fitness can be defined in many ways, but the simplest way of understanding it is that it's an approach that goes beyond the physical. When you understand fitness in this context...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/lori-lee-this-one-tool-will-bring-you-success-cptsd-and-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes


What do you think about when you hear the word ‘fitness’?

Holistic fitness can be defined in many ways, but the simplest way of understanding it is that it's an approach that goes beyond the physical. When you understand fitness in this context – total integration of mind, body, and spirit – it has a whole new meaning.

In this episode, I sit with my friend Lori Lee, a holistic fitness trainer and start-up leader. She lays out what are the tools to have a healthy lifestyle and start to move into alignment with what it is that you want in your life.

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Transcript

Michael: Hey! What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well wherever you are in the world today. Very excited to be back with you with another episode with my guest, Lori Lee. Lori, my friend, how are you? What is happening in your world?

Lori: I am fabulous. I've just gotten back from England, so I am just cleaning up my life at the moment, working, teaching people holistic fitness, all of that fun stuff.

Michael: Love it. You know, it's funny, whenever I get back from travel, I'm like, I need a vacation from that thing that I just did. But that's another conversation for another day. For those who don't know you, tell us a little bit about you and how you got to where you are today.

Lori: Absolutely. So, I'm a tech startup leader and I also teach people holistic fitness, but it certainly wasn't a linear path to get there. So, I'll start in the beginning; in the beginning, I was raised by a single parent, eligible for welfare, not much kind of having to kind of grind, always having those entrepreneurial ideas. And I was grateful enough to be able to be in a leadership position leading 35 people quite early on in my life, in my early twenties. So, being thrown into leadership at such a young age, that was an experience in itself, but I've always been the type of person that asks questions and tries to figure out why people act in a certain way. And something I noticed in the corporate world is that if ever a team member wasn't performing or a colleague wasn't performing, it was never because they didn't want to perform, it was because they were unable to because of stresses in their life, maybe they were not motivated in their exercise regime, maybe they had some trauma going on. So, I was really curious as to what fixes that, what fixes people's mind that makes them struggle to be able to perform at work and essentially makes them regress in other areas of their lives. So, I did something quite controversial and I quit the corporate job to go travel India. So, I went to India for two months, learned yoga teacher training, did of Aparna meditation course, which is the 10-day silent course, and also became a fitness trainer. And something I notice from the fitness industry and the corporate industry is that there was this grind culture.

So, I think we hear about it a lot in the corporate industry in that people know that they're getting burnt out. People know that they're overworked at work, but we don't necessarily think about it in the fitness industry. So, I was asking questions, you know, why are we pushing people to do these crazy exercise regimes five days a week? We're saying, cut your carbs, try these really restrictive diets and there just isn't that focus there. So, off the back of that, I created holistic fitness, and I can't say I created it because there's lots of other amazing people out here teaching this. But essentially, it's eat well, move well, breathe well.

And I had my own kind of struggle, and that's another reason why I this myself. I was 30 pounds overweight, technically within healthy weight range, but 30 pounds heavier than I'd like to be, and I tried so hard to lose it. I tried running, I tried hit. I tried going to the gym all the time. I also tried keto. I tried paleo, I tried all of these different things, but nothing ever stuck. And you know, I kind of gave myself all these messages like, you are lazy, you are not good enough. If only you are more disciplined, if only you have more willpower. So, in that moment in my life, I was telling myself all these negative messages and burning myself out and it wasn't until I removed stresses within my life. So, I left the corporate job and went to India, I also left the boyfriend that wasn't particularly good for me at the time amazing person, but we just weren't aligned and everything became easy. And people say, how'd you, do it? How'd you lose a 30 pounds? And, it was just managing my stress, all of a sudden eating well and exercising often became easy, and it was more about enjoyment and more about what my body could do and the aesthetic things just followed. So, now that's what I teach people and I teach people more of a framework rather than follow this plan that I did because in the fitness industry, we need to start looking at people as whole humans rather than, you know, follow my 30 days plan to get shredded abs. So that's why I'm here, and this is why I teach holistic fitness rather than a 30-day booty plan.

Michael: Yeah, totally. And I think most people don't understand like, you're probably not gonna get abs in 30 days unless you're starving yourself and working out five hours a day. Right. And that's the secret, right? Especially in the fitness space, in a former life was a certified nutritionist and personal trainer and I never did anything with it, but I wanted to do it for my own wellbeing and understanding of the human body and structure. And, you know, you would get deeper into that world and it was always fascinating to me how you'd see these people they're like, Oh yeah, I've got this fitness program. I got this plan. Come buy it or change your life. But I'm like, it's not really attainable for most people when you have this massive amount of stress when you are eating poison all day, when you have a family and kids and a job, and probably a second job because of the world that we live in. And I think people get caught up in so much of that that they forget that. I love what you said, eat well, move well, breathe well that really feels like a foundational aspect of what it means to be able to move into health. And as someone formally who was 350 pounds has lost 150 of those pounds, like that's the one thing that happened when I was in corporate America, Fortune 10 Company and leadership at a very young age it was just like long hours, lots of food, lots of partying, lots of drug, sex, rock and roll, the whole thing and it kind of destroyed me. And I think people feel like that is just what life is supposed to be. And what I'm curious for you, in your experience, what became the shift? Because I feel like people need to hear what shifts are so they can start to identify them for themselves.

Lori: The shift for me was taking accountability for my circumstances instead of being a victim of my circumstances, not everyone gets to that place. Some people end up being 45 still in that toxic job and blaming everyone else for the issues that they have, whereas I did at one point in my life just decide, you know what? Enough is enough. I have all of these thoughts going on in my brain. Yes, growing up in a single parent family without much money is possibly a cause of that. Yes, maybe not having so much positive relationships is a cause of that, but whatever I've been handed to in a platter in my life, I need to take full accountability for that. And off the back of that, I went away and did a wellness retreat for 10 days. I had 10 days’ vacation, and I learned how to manage my thoughts. I learned how to observe my thoughts. I learned how to move through that, what I would call poverty mindset of just being a victim all the time, this happened when I was about 24, and that's what's really skyrocketed my life, and that's what's even helped me even when I put back on 10 pounds and then lost that 10 pounds again, actually love myself at any weight and know that I'm taking action towards health all the time.

Michael: What is poverty mindset like? I think it'd be helpful if you define that because in my own right, have a thought about what that means, but I'd love to know your context.

Lori: That's a really great, great question. And I do think it means different things to different people, because a poverty mindset can mean literal poverty. So, you were raised through poverty, raised on welfare, you know, we were eligible for welfare growing up. So, in that mind, that's kind of where that mindset's come from. But poverty mindset to me is a feeling of lack in any regard, it could be in your relationships, it could be in your finances, it could be in your career. Feeling like you are lacking in some way or not good enough for something.

Michael: I think everybody who's in corporate at some point, especially if you're moving towards burnout and you're out of alignment, you're probably trying to work through anxiety, through depression. How do you move through that? Like if your mindset is in the poverty? Cuz my mindset was certainly there, and I think a lot of peoples are the lack mentality, the stuckness, the this is the good as it's ever gonna be. And yet you're in this parallel of pain and suffering all the time, right? How do you start to move through that and move into alignment with what it is that you actually want in your life?

Lori: Yeah, that's a great question. And it's different for everyone. So, I have experienced pretty intense depression, and I cannot tell you how difficult it was to get out of bed. And just getting from a one out of 10 to a two out of 10 and taking things slow is what worked for me. But when it comes to stress management, depression management, and anxiety management, look, go to your doctor first, get on antidepressants if you need to get therapy, if you need to. But in terms of lifestyle changes, it really is managing your stress hormone cortisol. So nowadays we have perceived stressed rather than actual stress back in the day, tiger jumps out of a bush, our stress response goes off. Our bodies haven't evolved that much now it's a last-minute meeting on the calendar, oh goodness, my boss is gonna fire me, that's my livelihood. So, we're kind of creating our own stress so definitely using your cortisol hormone or stress in general to leverage getting better. And that could just mean sleeping seven to nine hours a night to begin with, that could be using some sort of supplement like Ashwaganda. It could be going to a therapist, working through all your thoughts. It could be journaling. Look, it looks different to everyone. I provide a toolkit of all the different things you can try for your stress. Try one thing for four weeks, see what works for you, and then move on to the next thing. But it really narrows down to like the thoughts that are going on in your head, how you get there is up to you.

Michael: Yeah. So, what do you do with those thoughts?

Lori: Yeah, so I journal them out personally. So, journal them out, get really curious about your thoughts, get curious about the ones that are on repeat especially, and almost sit back and become a third party to those thoughts rather than thinking that your thoughts actually, are you, because they're not, you've been conditioned to think in a certain way. Again, as we were saying, based on your previous experiences. You do not have to think in that way. You can change your thoughts and once you realize that you can change your thoughts, it makes it so much easier. But to start, it's picking one thing per day or one exercise per day when you can start to become conscious of your thoughts. So maybe it's in the shower, you say, you know what, whenever I shower, I'm going to train myself to be really conscious and become a third party to my thoughts. And you might have a thought like, oh my goodness, my body looks so fat in the mirror or like whatever negative stuff that you say to yourself. And then instead of being like, oh yeah, I do look fat. I wonder why I think that, and viewing things with a sense of curiosity rather than viewing things as you know what these thoughts are my gospel.

Michael: Yeah. And what do you do with that curiosity? Cause I think like that's where people get stuck, you know what I mean? That's where I used to get stuck and it took a tremendous amount of effort and energy to be able to move through that especially, I mean, I love the analogy that you use because I think body image is something that people struggle with tremendously, especially in fitness spaces, it's wild to me and even the most fit people that I know are sometimes still in that place. We have this perceived notion about maybe I can reach perfection and self-love and compassion and all those things because of how my body shows up and how I look. And I've come to discover in my own journey that shit don't work and ultimately the only way that you're ever gonna feel happy is you build that intrinsically. So, when people have these thoughts and like, look, those build stress like massively, right? What do you do with those thoughts when you are being curious about them, but it feels like a cloud over you.

Lori: To begin with do nothing with those thoughts. So, observe your thoughts, become curious about your thoughts because if you straight away implement a strategy, you are going to continue to beat yourself up when you don't implement those strategies. A lot of people that have stress are very type A people, so they set themselves these crazy goals like I am going to counteract every thought with an affirmation, but that just isn't the reality. But once you are pretty well versed at being curious about these thoughts, serving those thoughts, then move through to creating affirmations that you genuinely believe.

So, let's just say you're looking in the mirror and you decide, Ugh, I look terrible. You've observed these thoughts for a while, and now you're at a place where you're going to actually say, something that you like about your body, and if you can't think of anything aesthetic, then you need to think of something believable that your body can do. So, when stating affirmations, they need to be present tense and they need to be something that you actually believe you are capable of doing in the future, or capable of right now.

So, for you, that could just be, I am really grateful for my fingers because without them I wouldn't be able to type and do my job, it’s counteracting that with affirmations definitely is great, but I wouldn't necessarily recommend that straightaway. I would just recommend getting used to observing first.

Michael: Yeah. I think so. And when you do so, and this is again, just me speaking outta my own experience, cuz the negative thoughts were the only kind of thoughts I had like there was no space for positive thoughts. I think so many people go through this, especially if you've come from backgrounds of trauma, of abuse, of poverty, and we get stuck in that cycle. And the thing that people have to remember is like, there's always causation and correlation like there's always a rhyme and reason to why you're doing the things that you're doing. And when you can sit in that truth, like I think that's arguably the most important truth in this journey is just being like, there's a fucking reason that I'm doing this. And to honor that reason and to not beat yourself up. And also at the same time, and this is where it gets tricky, fucking do something about it because it's one thing to just sit in it and it's another thing to talk about it. And then there's like the, I need to do something about it because again, I'm only speaking my truth, looking at myself in the mirror, 350 pounds, smoking two packs a day, drinking myself to sleep. I was like, Okay, motherfucker, it is time to do something because guess what? Nobody else is gonna do it for you. And language is important and I think about this all the time, the way that I need to push myself may not be the way that you need to push yourself. Right. And I think we have to get really conscientious about that element because for me, the coddling game does not work there, that's not gonna help me at all. I'm like, Yo, get the fuck up, motherfucker. Like, let's go. And so, I'm really curious for you as you were in this, exploring these ideals, in these meditations, in these retreats, getting conscientious, looking at your life, probably literally in the mirror and assessing these changes, what was the language you were using with yourself?

Lori: That's a great question and you raise a really great point there in terms of like identifying those circumstances as to why you speak in a certain way but I gave myself hype, girl energy.

So, when you are training somebody, some people need a commando type person and I am very open. I am a cheerleader trainer. I will cheer you on. So, I'm the opposite to you. I need hype. I need to cheer myself on. Hype to me is just recognition and reinforcement. When I get outta bed a little bit earlier, well done, Lori. You did a great job. But not everyone needs that. That's a little bit overbearing and it's not inspiring to everyone equally with the commando style what you need, get outta bed, you piece of shit, that's not going to work for everyone either. For some people that's just going to be way too intense and way too, I guess, damaging even. But somebody, and I think about this a lot and I don't have an answer for you, but where is the line of pushing yourself and grinding versus resting and saying kind words to yourself? Because I love David Goggins. I'm not sure if anyone's read his book, Can't Hurt Me. I love it. However, the way that he speaks to himself, I'm like, Goodness, I would be so de-energized if I spoke to myself, but I really do need to harden the fuck up sometimes. So, it really is that balance of when to harden up, but then also, when am I being too hard on myself and when am I actually bringing negativity into this more fit?

Michael: That makes a lot of sense. And I think that it is about towing that line and figuring it out for yourself. Like I would never, ever call myself a piece of shit and I argue that no one probably ever should. To me it's looking at it from this aspect of I know what motivates me like I've done CrossFit for years, Muay Thai for years, in the CrossFit gyms where people are rah in the cheerleader mode, like you, I'm like, get away from me. Right? Like I cannot take it because for me, I'm like, I've gotta get in that place to motivate myself intrinsically ‘cuz I think one of the things people often forget is like after you're out of that rahrah, there's nobody there and you have to be able to do that for you. One of the things that David talks about, which I love and I get parallel to him quite frequently, is this concept of the idea of, you know, the cookie jar, which effectively means giving yourself accolades and admirations for the amazing things that you've done. And it's not always kicking your ass, sometimes it's like, Yo, I did that thing and that thing took me seven years and I finally did it and I'm really proud of myself and you've gotta be able to get into that because you know when you are not moving into those places of connectedness with goodness, with source, with power, with energy, with compassion, grace, hope like that just increases stress even more. And I think one of the reasons that happens is that people have these massive expectations of themselves, they're thinking about tomorrow, they're always stuck in the future and they're forgetting like, Man, I've done good things. And so, what I'm wondering is how does tomorrow thinking, how does like thinking about the future, you're trapped in that, how does that impact you, especially when you're dealing and navigating stress?

Lori: When you are thinking about yourself tomorrow, you are actually imagining your tomorrow self as a completely different person. So, by default, you are going to break the promises that you make to yourself. You are going to tell yourself, 5:00 AM I'm gonna wake up, I'm going to do a workout, I'm going to do a 40-minute meditation. And we put ourselves to this pedestal because tomorrow us is a different person, but guess what? You're still gonna wake up tomorrow with the same stress, the same energy levels, the same stuff going on in your life yet we don't think of it that way. So, we really need to dial it back and then create, you know, minimums and maximums for ourselves. If tomorrow was the best day ever, I had all the energy in the world, then I will do this. If tomorrow was the worst day ever, I woke up with a sniffle, these are the things that I can achieve and it really is that balance of figuring out what you actually can do tomorrow and remembering that you are not a different human tomorrow. You're the exact same person. 

Michael: Yeah. So, what do you do when you want to move towards tomorrow, when you want to build goals? Because I'm very forward thinking, right? I always tell people my goals are 37 years away like, I'm not even remotely close to building the life that I want. But I think that's a really hard thing for most people to rationalize. So, how do you be you today, but also be you for tomorrow?

Lori: Yeah. I think it's great that you have 37-year goals, so that's what I would recommend zoom out a little bit. What kind of person do you wanna be in three years’ time? I think it's Vishen Lakhiani that said, in a meditation, we overestimate who we will be in one year however, we underestimate what we can do within three years. So, zoom out to three to five years what kind of person do you wanna be and what's required of you today in order to get there? If we write down our goals, we're 47% more likely to achieve them, but only 3% of people write down their goals and 1% of people revisit and rewrite their goals. So, I believe that we do need to take a structured approach, however, when we're creating that structure, especially on the micro levels. So, think of a day-by-day basis or a week-by-week basis set yourself ranges rather than saying, I'm going to go to the gym five times a week. Maybe it's, I'm going to go to the gym two to four times per week, or three to five times per week, because you need to get real yourself and understand where you are, but you can be idealistic and work towards that three-year version of yourself.

Michael: What are some ways that people can start to set goals and ranges in their life?

Lori: Yeah, so one of it is doing a life audit and a life analysis. So, when we're wanting to budget right, we take a look at all of our transactions, hopefully we do, and we take a look at how much money we're spending on takeaway. We take a look at how much money we're spending on shopping, and then we make realistic goals off the back of that. So even though maybe you've spent $400 on shopping for the month, and we only wanna spend $50 on shopping, we dial it back in an incremental fashion. It's the same for your fitness goals or your wellness goals, or whatever goal you have right now. So, take an audit of where you're spending your time. Don't change anything for two to four weeks just write down where you're spending your time and then take a look at what you wanna change, it's similar to changing the thoughts, right? Observe first, then take a look at what I wanna change. Hmm. Maybe I don't wanna scroll on social media for two hours, but maybe I time it for 15 minutes. And then you'll be setting ranges based on where you are currently at while working towards that ideal, and that looks different for everyone. So, the reason I use minimums and maximums is just to say, hey, like if everything went to shit this week, what can you actually do? And what are your vices and what are you most likely to fall back on? But if you had all the energy in the world, you know what's your best self-going to do. And over time you will see people work more and more towards their best self or their dream version of themselves. But you've gotta face the reality of where you're at, I would love to have some sort of switch and you know, obviously if we're talking David Goggins, it was, and I'm not saying that you are not capable of that, but being realistic, most people do need a transition period. And I would never put 100 kilograms or 220 pounds for somebody to do bench press the first time, it's the same when it comes to your goals, you do need to take a structured approach and get realistic of where you're at based on how you're spending your time.

Michael: One of the things that you talked at the beginning that really queued me in talked about accountability and how that became really this factor for you to move forward. Lay it out, I want to go into that a little bit deeper because to me that is the key, right? I think about this idea of closing gaps. There's giant sign over here on the other side of my office, you can't see it. It says Close the gap. And on one side, I wrote down all the things about my life where I am today and on the other side, I wrote down all the things about the life that I want to create, and that's everything, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, everything, right? Because I'm with you, write shit down and watch it come to pass. Like it's really incredible because where your attention goes, your energy follows. So, in between that the current me and the future me, there is the gap. And in the gap, the thing that I've come to recognize is what we must do is leverage massive accountability and massive action to create the change. One of the things, however, and I think a big part of this probably comes from the way that we're raised and the society that we live in, is that accountability is almost looked at as a negative right now, where there's this weird space where people are like, my life sucks, but all the internet gurus quote unquote, and not pointing in route specifically, they're like, it's fine. Go take a bath and drink a glass of wine. And I'm like, yeah, maybe sometimes but 99.9% of the time, it's like you must be willing to go and live your life. And so, I'm wondering, in your journey and that space of accountability, like what did that actually look like if you were to break down that step by step?

Lori: Breaking down accountability step by step was by doing a life audit, what things energize me? What things de-energize me? What people energize me? What people de-energize me? I'm massive on circle of influence. You become the five people you spend the most time with, and you can only be accountable with who you choose to spend time with and who you choose to experience life with. So, for me, it was understanding the main stresses in my life, and then choosing to take action. Not many people cut off a really good relationship as quick as I did, just because I knew it was draining my energy, not many people leave corporate America as quickly as I did to go do a non-job, to be fun employed. You need to take accountability and the strategy that I use, asking myself three questions every single day, what energized me today? What de-energize me today and what did I learn today? From this you're going to find themes, and it's all well and good to take a bath about all these themes. You do need to take action on those themes, and those three questions become the basis for my future goals and the basis of what I need to remove from my life and what I need to integrate within my life. So that would be the structured framework that I take, that's within the journal that I wrote for goal getting, however, it is going to look different for everyone as to what they need to do to give themselves more energy and to take accountability for their life rather than just coasting because it’s what society told us that, you know, get the house, get married, get the job. You know, we're trained to be factory workers from our school and if you are not happy with that, you've got to analyze it and make a change.

Michael: Yeah. And that to me is that space of closing the gap, right? And in that I think there's just a lot of fear. And I would argue that in transition, the fear of the unknown, that people have lead to more stress than probably anything else. And I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I've had the amazing benefit interviewing some of the greatest minds on planet Earth and when I have conversations like this with people like you, the thing that I always come to is like there was a space where they had to decide not to do the thing that they wanted to do, but instead to face the fear that they had internally about doing the thing. And so, I'm really curious, like in that time and in that space, and even today in present time, what do you do about the fear in your life against the goals and the life that you want to create?

Lori: That's a really great question. I surround myself with my goals, so I know that they are more important. I have vision boards, I have affirmations, I have stuff everywhere to remind me about my goals because it's really easy to forget about what you actually want, but a lot of people, don't know what they actually want. So, in order to get there and figure out what I actually wanted, I did therapy for sure, but I also asked myself a lot of questions, you know, what did I enjoy doing the most when I was a child? What do I find myself speaking about to others the most? What do I find myself giving advice to others on? What kind of people do I enjoy being around? And that's helped me discover my purpose and discover my mission and I'm extremely clear on that. Once I became clear on that it becomes easy to cut out things that aren't aligned for you, but if you're going into things blind, it's much more easy to just do what's comfortable and that's what I previously did.

Michael: Yeah. So, I wanna go deeper though, in the aspect of doing those things that now have become aligned with when facing with. Look, I don't know if it's true for you, so you tell me if I'm wrong, but this was my experience. There was still always a space in which I had to navigate those old limiting beliefs, the old fears, the ideas that maybe not, mm, I don't know. Probably shouldn't. Right. And then finding the space to push through it anyway. And what I'm really trying to drill down here is how did you do that? Like what did that look like in your life in those moments, assuming you faced fear? ‘Cuz I'm gonna guess you didn't, David Goggins it and suddenly life was different, right?

Lori: Yeah, that's a great question. And it really comes down to consistent action, and I know it's not what a lot of people wanna hear, but it's feeling the fear, acknowledging the fear, and choosing to take action anyway because action build your confidence and that confidence you get momentum from. And then once you start receiving that momentum, you start receiving seeing results, which leads to more action. So, if you take action consistently, even if it's just a small amount of action, you will start seeing the momentum that it's going in. So, you know, it is not easy and I didn't always put a lot of pressure on myself. Again, I used rangers, but it's really like that book title, Feeling the Fear and doing it anyway. Taking action towards your goal every single day, and that's really what's going to help you become the person that you wanna be.

Michael: I think a lot of people can get into momentum. I think that can be kind of easy, you probably see this in fitness all the time. People are like, oh yeah, I worked out for four days or three weeks, or, you know, I did 75 hard, like whatever it is. And then suddenly it's like, Oh, wait a second, I'm back. I've reverted something is no longer in alignment with the direction I was going. I've lost momentum. What do people do when they lose momentum in their life?

Lori: It's okay to lose momentum. So, a lot of people beat themselves up and then move back into that old pattern. But what I found is the most successful for myself and for others is remembering that you have not reverted as far as you think you have, because in that first, let's just say 30 pounds, you lost 20 pounds you lost, you learned so many lessons before that, you didn't know how to do a deadlift, before that you didn't know how to train your mind to do that specific exercise. So instead, and if we're going back to David Goggins, you take that cookie jar with you. You take that inspiration of what you've previously done and all of those lessons that you've learned and say, you know what, I may aesthetically be back here, or I may not have the money in the bank, and I might maybe back to where I was, but you know so much more. So, you are going to gain that momentum so much quicker than you did previously. So, it's acknowledging all the amazing work that you've already done and taking consistent action.

Michael: Yeah. I don't believe that you ever go backwards past what you've learned. You know, and so much of that is just like, don't beat yourself up. I mean, I've coached thousands of people around the world and it's like I still fuck up. I mean like this is a human experience. None of us know what we're doing. Like I never wake up and I'm like, Oh my God, I know exactly what I'm doing, it's like I have my goals. I have this idea of the life that I want to create, I take action, I try to build momentum, and every single day it's a rinse and repeat of that. And you're going to have days where you're like, I gotta check out. I'm gonna go live my life. I'm gonna go sit on the beach, I'm gonna go read a book all day, like play video games, like whatever your thing is but those other days, I think it's really about pushing forward to your point anyway, like to build the life that you want to have requires a certain willingness to suffer. And to suffer means to have discomfort doesn't mean suffer like physically. I mean maybe sometimes physically if you're gonna be a bodybuilder or something like that. But you have to have the willingness to face that discomfort. And you said something that's really important that I wanna circle back to that's this idea of perceived stress. We make up in our heads things to be so much bigger than they are. One of the things, luckily enough, having been in leadership since I was 18, like I was running a team of 52 people as a kid, right? And one of the things that I learned really young was like, unless you're curing cancer or saving someone's life in the emergency room, like nothing is actually as urgent as you think it is. And so, when you're dealing with those perceived stress, when you're trying to move towards your goals, I think the other thing, and I don't know if you agree with this, is you gotta have some patience for yourself.

Lori: Totally. So, I used to work in aviation and I have given CPR. I've given CPR on a six-year-old boy and to what you said just then, nothing really matters that much. You know, unless you're saving a life, nothing really matters that much. And if you take a look at paramedics, are they rushing to the scene of trying to save someone? Absolutely not. If you rush, you are going to get your stress up, you're going to make mistakes, your blood's going to be flowing, and you're not going to be able to take that executed plan of action. You do need to slow down and approach things at a certain pace to be able to truly do what you want to do, but nothing really matters as much as we think they do, especially the own thoughts in our head.

Michael: Yeah. And they are your own thoughts, and that's what's fascinating is because we have this idea that the world thinks about us when in reality, like nobody's thinking about you and that's one of the really cool things about this journey. Lori, my friend, this has been an amazing conversation. Before I ask you my last question, can you please tell everyone where they can find you?

Lori: Absolutely. You can find me on Instagram and TikTok at Lori Lee Bootcamp. You can also find me on my website at lorileec.com and I do have a goal getting journal, which you can check out on Amazon.

Michael: Brilliant. And of course, we'll put out all the links for the Unbroken Nation in the show notes. My last question for you, my friend, what does it mean to you to be unbroken?

Lori: Full acceptance of where you are right now. Full accountability of where you want to be in the future. Looking to the past in a way that that helps you, but not looking in the past in a way that hinders you.

Michael: Brilliantly said, and I couldn't agree more my friend.

Thank you so much for being here.

Unbroken Nation. Thank you for listening.

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And Until Next Time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

I’ll see you.

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Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.

Lori Lee Profile Photo

Lori Lee

Author

Lori is a start-up leader and holistic fitness trainer. After observing the corporate and fitness industries, she realized that burnout culture was scattered throughout both of them. Lori brings focus to stress management throughout her holistic fitness community and her journal to help people get their goals without burning out.