Sept. 13, 2022

It's OK to be scared | CPTSD and Mental Health Coach

In this episode, I talk about this process of healing, self-love, growth, and what it means to show up for yourself. I would say that...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/its-ok-to-be-scared-cptsd-and-mental-health-coach/#show-notes


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In this episode, I talk about this process of healing, self-love, growth, and what it means to show up for yourself. I would say that these are the three most powerful and most strong words that you can use in this journey as you're growing, as you're changing, as you're healing, as you're ultimately stepping into becoming unbroken, and those three words areDo It Scared. 

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Transcript

Hey! What's up, Unbroken Nation. Hope that you're doing well wherever you are. I am recently back from Lewis House event, School of Greatness and as I was there, you know, a lot of beautiful things transpired, a lot of amazing things happen, being in that room, learning from those people. And I wanted to share some insights with you about some of the things that came to pass as I was at this conference, this last weekend at Summit of Greatness in Columbus with Lewis House, with Gabby Bernstein, with Dr. Caroline Leaf, with some really incredible, incredible human beings.

And so, I have a few minutes here, we just wanted to dive in and share a lot of things in a short period of time. And if you haven't make sure that you join us at Unbroken Conference, this November go to unbrokencon.com to sign up. It's absolutely free.

And the biggest theme, honestly, that I took away in thinking about this process of healing, of self-love, of growth, of what it means to show up for yourself is very simple. It's three words. And I would say that these are the three most powerful and most strong words that you can use in this journey as you're growing, as you're changing, as you're healing, as you're ultimately stepping into becoming unbroken. And those three words are, “Do It Scared.” And I think one of the things that so many, I know actually one of the things so many of us suffer with, especially coming from a traumatic background, is that doing things that are uncomfortable or scary can often trigger us, can put us in our fight or flight response, can freak us out, can make us not want to actually move forward in doing the thing that we know that we need to do.

In this concept, in the idea “Do It Scared” is not just novelty. Like it is a practical executionable thing. One of the really incredible experiences that I've had in my life has come many ways through doing things that I was not ready for. You know, as a coach and as a mentor, people who have come through the programs of Think Unbroken, whether they've been one on one or a group, or do conferences with me, the one thing that I'm always pushing forward and towards for us is to do it anyway. And the reason why is because you have to be able to discover who you are through the discomfort of doing things that you've never done.

Every single person on planet earth has got to where they are today by doing the things that they know how to do already. And to be able to step into what's next, you often need to learn how to do things that you've never done so, you can learn skills you've never learned, so you can have failures you've never had, so you can make lessons and meaning out of those experiences to continue to move forward. Now, one of the problems with that, and when people hear this, they go, yeah, but, and I always say that the most important thing that you need to do is recognize causation and correlation. Why is it that when we are faced with discomfort, we want to run. We want to flee. We want to fight flight freeze fawn, right? What happens in the central nervous system when we are exposed to unknown stimulus? Well, it's a chemical response, it's biology that we would want to avoid pain, discomfort, strife, anguish, hurt any of those things that come now, I'm not saying being uncomfortable will always lead to those things, but there's a possibility.

And since the brain is looking at this through a scope of possibility based on survival, well, then the most important thing that you have to recognize is your brain is automatically in this place of making you not want to be in discomfort because discomfort could lead to death. Right? Hypothetically, your brain doesn't know the reality that you're in this safe space and the thing that's terrifying is, you know, getting up in front of the classroom in third grade and doing the book report because you have massive anxiety because at home, the thing that happens to you when you speak up and use your voice is you get punished, you get hurt and that's what happens. This is why this causation and correlation thing so important. And so, when you understand causation and correlation, that we are the sum total of all of our experiences leading to today, and you look at that and you measure the viability of success versus knowing that there is a chasm that you must cross in facing the fear to become you then the very thing that you must do is actually do it anyway. Do it scared because people are not like, I cannot tell you this. I cannot stress this enough to you. Now who it is that you want to become is one decision away. You know, when I went through coaching with Tony Robbins and when I sit with him and learn deeply about human psychology and what it means to truly personally develop it's about doing it scared because ultimately the most important thing that we can do is to show up for ourselves and move towards our dreams, despite the fact that we don't have an outcome already predetermined. Right. And so doing it scared leads down this place where you start with a decision, you say, I'm going to decide. I have decided. I am going to do this thing. Now that thing could be anything. And for some people, if you're like me, that thing was showing up for myself, betting on myself, going to therapy, hiring a coach, getting into personal development, showing up and living this unbroken life that was terrifying to me, but I said, you know what? I gotta do it anyway. And what happens is in that space of doing it anyway, in that space of doing it scared you get to create confidence and confidence is generally speaking the very thing that we need the most of when we've been denied, the ability to be ourselves since childhood. And as an adult, there's so much more on the line. It is so much harder to build confidence as an adult because all you've ever heard is you're not good enough. You're not strong enough. You're not capable enough. You don't matter. Be quiet, sit in the back, shut up, whatever that thing is. And the only way that you build confidence is by doing it scared. And you have to change your mindset around something incredibly important that you're letting other people in your head way too much people who are naysayers, people who are deniers, people who don't believe in your dreams or tell you your dreams are crazy or stupid or too big. And the more you let those people into your head, the more you're going to be stuck because ultimately the thing that starts to happen is you believe their narrative. Right. You believe what is that they have to say about who you are, as opposed to being willing to face the discomfort of discovering who you are through doing things you've never done before. And look, it gets more complicated than that and I wish I could simplify it more so, but I look at life and creating massive change, very simply through starting with first making a decision, second, taking action and third letting go of the any social constructs that you have about whether or not the thing that you're supposed to do is the thing that you're supposed to do based on other people's opinions of who it is that you are, because when you remove that, that's where freedom is, that's where true growth is, that's where true healing is. And this is a big thing, there's a big element of what we're gonna talk about during Unbroken Conference.

So, if you have not registered, if you've not signed up, come and join us. It's free. It's gonna be live unbrokencon.com.

And so today, take this with you, take these ideas, take these notions, do it scared, do it anyway, because in that you will really truly discover who you are.

So, Until Next Time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

I’ll see you.

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Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.