Finding Real Healing from Trauma
In this thought-provoking episode, author and coach Michael Anthony dives deep into the healing journey for adult survivors of childhood trauma. He addresses the common question many survivors have: "When will I finally be healed?" With raw honesty and wisdom... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/finding-real-healing-from-trauma/
In this thought-provoking episode, author and coach Michael Anthony dives deep into the healing journey for adult survivors of childhood trauma. He addresses the common question many survivors have: "When will I finally be healed?" With raw honesty and wisdom gained from his own experiences, Michael emphasizes the importance of patience in the healing process. He shares powerful insights on letting go of the idea of a "Disney moment" of complete healing, embracing the everyday struggles, and measuring progress by recognizing how far you've come. Whether you're just starting your healing journey or have been on the path for years, this episode offers a refreshing perspective on self-love, self-acceptance, and the courage to keep showing up for yourself one day at a time.
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Learn how to heal and overcome childhood trauma, narcissistic abuse, ptsd, cptsd, higher ACE scores, anxiety, depression, and mental health issues and illness. Learn tools that therapists, trauma coaches, mindset leaders, neuroscientists, and researchers use to help people heal and recover from mental health problems. Discover real and practical advice and guidance for how to understand and overcome childhood trauma, abuse, and narc abuse mental trauma. Heal your body and mind, stop limiting beliefs, end self-sabotage, and become the HERO of your own story.
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Hey, what's up my friends? Hope you're doing well wherever you are in the world. I'm Michael Anthony, author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma, and you are listening or watching the Michael Unbroken podcast.
So, one of the questions that I got this week that really hit home with me, that made me pause and go, how do I help people with something that you cannot possibly help them with? And that is the struggle of knowing when you are healed. And this is a question I get all the time, people send me on TikTok and Instagram and I talk to with my clients and coaching and anyone who, who I coach one on one, anyone who I coach one on one, they know that the number one word that I use is patience, but I understand the frustration. Trust me, I do as someone who is constantly. In this zone, and someone who is even still, all these years later, and in consideration of what I do, still on my own personal healing journey. And I don't know that it ever ends. And the struggle, that I think so many people struggle with, no pun intended. which is also mine as well as just that moment of being like, when am I done? Like, am I healing? Am I doing it right? As, as things like, what is this that's happening in my life? And what I want you to think about here for a moment is how do you ever know if you've ever accomplished anything in your life? And there's always a measurement of, to some extent of looking at your life versus now, excuse me, now versus where you were. What do I mean by that? Here's my measurement for healing. So, I've told this story before, but not that long ago, a couple years, three years almost now, I was sitting in my therapist's office and I said, you know what? I'm done with this shit. I don't want to be here. I'm tired of talking to you every Wednesday. Like when is this over? And he said something really fascinating to me and he was like, I don't know that it is. And that's a hard pill to swallow, right? It really truly is because we want this just to be done. We want to move on with our lives, we want to go to what's next, we want to say, Hey, I don't struggle with this anymore. We want to have the full gamut of love and compassion and emotions and hope and joy, and all of those things that are possible for us as human beings. And yet we find ourselves still in this place of struggling. But the struggle is the measurement, right? I would, I would ask you, what is the point that you are measuring that quantifies whether or not you've healed. It's a difficult question, isn't it? At what point do you quantify it? Like, what is the data there that you can look up in three years, five years, 12 years, 28 years, whatever that time may be, look at it and measure it and say, okay, here is what I'm done. And I smirk and I smile at that because I don't know that you can. And I'll tell you right now for myself personally, I can not now, I want to be clear. One of the things that's really powerful about this journey is that eventually what happens is you recognize if you stay in it long enough and you do the work and you show up for yourself and you have coaches or you listen to these podcasts and you read the books and you go to therapy and you do the whole nine life gets better. Life gets easier, navigating trauma becomes a part of your life. Understanding your triggers, understanding your reactions, understanding your behavioral patterns all become easier because you start to identify, you start to get a better understanding of who it is that you are in conjunction with the person that you're moving towards and want to be as self-defined because, well, this is your narrative. And so with that understanding Can you create a data point in your life that becomes the measurement in which you quantify This is where I am healed. And I think the struggle for so many people is that they can't. I can't, I have no idea what that would look like, I don't, but I think about what does my life look like today Versus yes, who is Michael today versus Michael 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 30 years ago. And the goal of the mission for me is I've recognized this is it. This is life. This is the journey. Every day that we're in this, every day we're stepping onto this path to create change in our life, like this is the game. This is how it works. You show up, you do the things you get uncomfortable, you learn, you make mistakes, you grow, you move forward, you heal here and there a little bit at a time, every single day from now until the end. And some days are going to be harder than others. And you're going to make mistakes and you're going to fuck up because that's life, and then some days are going to be really beautiful and bright and sunny and easy. You're going to look at your life and say, his is great. Like I'm super excited. I've done all this shit, all this work, all this therapy, all this journaling for 20 years or eight years or 12 months or however long it takes you. And look, here's what's really fascinating little insider trading secret for you as being a coach in this space is, you know, I have clients from all walks of life. When we sit down and one on one coaching, everyone has a different story. And everyone has a different mission, and everyone has a different understanding of the person it is that they're moving towards being, as defined by them. But the one thing that everyone that I work with has in common is that they have to learn to understand patience. Because this is the most frustrating thing that we will do. Healing is so incredibly frustrating because I get, like, I get it. Like, I just wake up in the morning like, can I be done? Like, is this over yet? Like, is this, can we be in the next year? Can we be in the, like, next life? Whatever that thing may be, and when you deploy patience against the understanding of the reality that, and this might be hard for you to hear, and so I want to be clear when I say this, like, this doesn't necessarily mean it's true, but it's just my understanding that this is your life. Every day from now till the end, this is it. This is your life. The healing it's right now. It's yesterday, it's tomorrow, it's in five minutes. It's literally listening to this podcast right now. Sitting here, taking this in, this is healing and the struggle. How do you work through the struggle for me? Because I got like the anger that I would feel about this journey, about the going to therapy, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars, literally wiping myself out financially. Like, I can't even explain to you. Therapy. Men's group therapy. CBT. EMDR. Like, the whole nine. Then you add in the body work. Massage acupuncture. More and more and more and more, then you add in all the other things. Like, eventually I looked at it. I literally sat down and I added up one day. I could buy like three houses with how much money that I've spent in my own trauma healing journey. That does not even factor in the certifications certifications and the certificates that I now have as a coach, which are tens of thousands more of dollars. And the struggle, the struggle for me was always this point of measurement. Like, when is it done? When is it enough? When is it over? When do I get to move on? And then I recognized something really important. I was struggling because I was trying to make an end of something. I was struggling, like so many people are, because I was trying to create an end out of something that may not ever end. I know that's tough to hear, but I don't know that there's a stopping point here. I don't know that one day it's magically different, you've heard me say this before, there's no Disney moment, it ain't happening. It's not ever going to happen. The Disney moment is right now. Every single day, every single moment of this life that you're showing up for yourself, this is you. And so if you're struggling with like, how do I heal? Like, how do I do this? The number one measurement, he number one measurement for this journey is looking at the person you are today versus the person you were yesterday and asking yourself a very important question. How do I feel about myself when I'm by myself? Am I doing the things in my life to be the hero of my own story? Am I making the changes? Am I growing? Am I healing? Am I showing up for me first? And as you move through that and you get closer and more intertwined with who it is that you are, the struggle, like, realistically, in my experience, it dampens. It doesn't feel so daunting, right? It doesn't feel so daunting that one day, hopefully, things will be different, because now I just go, well, today can be different. Five minutes can be, you could change your life right now. Your struggle is that you're trying to measure something that has an intangible that cannot be calculated by the human brain, and that's self-love, and that's trust, and healing, and happiness, and human connection, and capacity, and belief, and all those other things that you cannot measure, right? They are immeasurable, and you sit, and you wait, and you look for it, and you reach for it, but it doesn't ever land in your hand, because I don't think that's how this works. But if every day you show up for yourself and your measurement is who am I today versus who I was yesterday versus who I was six months ago versus who I was 10 years ago. And you ask yourself, am I doing this? Really like authentically and you give yourself grace, which is so incredibly important because they're going to make mistakes, and then you deploy an unlimited amount of patience while measuring the reality that this might actually be life. Not that it doesn't get better. Let's be clear, if you're struggling right now because life fucking sucks, it gets better, but you have to be patient and that measurement of struggle, will evolve and will change. And in my own personal experience and many of my clients who I've had this conversation with, when we take off the time restricted parameter of trauma healing, life gets so much easier.
My friend, I hope this was helpful for you. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today. Please do me a favor, like comment, share, leave a review, tell a friend.
And Until Next Time,
My Friend,
Be Unbroken.
I'll See Ya.
Michael Unbroken
Coach
Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.
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