June 26, 2022

E343: Do these 3 things to heal trauma | Trauma Healing Podcast

Today, I will share these three things that will help you heal trauma faster than anything else. Every time I am a guest on a podcast, I get asked the question, where do you begin in this journey? How do you heal?
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e343-do-these-3-things-to-heal-trauma-trauma-healing-podcast/#show-notes


Today, I will share these three things that will help you heal trauma faster than anything else.

Every time I am a guest on a podcast, I get asked the question, where do you begin in this journey? How do you heal?

And I want to answer this question in a way that will be practical and applicable to your life today, no matter where you are in your journey. And so, I'm going to break down these three things that I think are the most important things you could do today.

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Transcript

These three things will help you heal trauma faster than anything else.

What's up Unbroken Nation. Hope that you're doing well wherever you are in the world today. I get asked the question, literally every single time that I am a guest on a podcast, where do you begin in this journey? How do you heal?

And I wanna answer this question in a way that is gonna be practical and applicable to your life today, no matter where you are in your journey. And so, I'm gonna break down these three things that I think are the most important things that you could do today to heal that are not therapy. Right.? Cause I think therapy is kind of the given everyone should go and experience that, go find somebody that you can convey your experiences to get feedback, to have a mirror experience. So, that's kind of given, so we won't touch on that. I am going to touch on a couple of things that I haven't shared before and one that I share all the time.

So, let's start with number one. I think the number one most important thing that you can do in this journey is first and foremost, just have acknowledgement.

Acknowledgement, as I've said before is not about culpability, but instead acknowledgement is about simply looking at the experiences of your life and saying, yes, these things happened, that doesn't mean you're to blame, that doesn't mean it's your fault. So, let's be very clear about that. One of the most dangerous things that you could do is blame yourself for your childhood trauma abuse. And people will often go to that and be like, it's my fault, why else would my parents do this? And it's like, well, no, it's not your fault, it's not your responsibility. And it's incredibly unfortunate that you did not have parents who had healed their own trauma, who could take care of you in a way in which you would not be listening to this conversation right now. And that very much has held true for me in my life. As for that, it really starts with just sitting in your truth in your reality, not beating yourself up, but instead going, yes, it happened, so what do I do about it? So, number one is acknowledgement. 

Number two, and this is one that may actually not feel like it makes sense until you start to get into it.

Number two is take care of your physical health.

When I go and I rewind my life and I look at all of the worst moments of my life as an adult, things that I would say were fully my responsibility. I can tell you with certainty that drugs and alcohol were involved in all of those experiences. Every time that I go look at, okay, I made a huge mistake, I did something outta character, I broke moral values, I became somebody I didn't want to be, there was drugs and alcohol involved every single time, like clockwork.

And when you take care of your physical health, it's not only about sobriety, which I think is actually one of the most important parts of this journey. But it's also about the physical movement of the body like making sure, because here's the thing you have to understand about trauma. We're often disassociated, meaning our brain is disconnected from our body and so, what do we do in dissociation? We cope in ways that make us not feel, and that's dangerous, especially in healing, because you'll never let down your guard enough to open your heart, to be able to access all of the things that one must access to the healing and modality and the efficacy of those things. And so, early on in my journey, one of the things that I did, I made a decoration myself is that I'm gonna be sober. And the sobriety would vary. Right? Sometimes it'd be three months, at one point it was two years, right now I'm somewhere around two and a half months, something like that, and there's always kind of like an ebb and flow to it. Right? And I'm not necessarily a proponent of it being like, oh my God, you have to be sober all the time or you're reverting, you know, trauma, I don't believe that to be true at all, but I do think that in moments of sobriety, the thing that you get when you are not on drugs or alcohol, is you get to sit in your truth because it's really hard to hide from your reality when you're not stuffing it down with drugs and alcohol, and then the physical movement aspect of it comes into play because you can go look at so much research around physical movement in the healing of the body becoming associated, be able to compartmentalize, to change, to heal and one of the biggest things that happened for me, like being on a yoga mat, I really started to understand who I was in a way that I never had. And honestly, I probably would not to this day, had I not put myself in the position of having the willingness to be sober and move my physical body.

Number three, and this is one that, it's going to be different for every person, it certainly was for me and it was finding the space to allow myself to cry. So, number three is crying.

And I know that is not something that you may expect, but you have to understand that the emotional release of the traumatic experiences that we have create an amazing, amazing calming endorphin wave.

So, I'll give you context. I didn't cry for 15 years. When I was young, my stepfather would beat me to the point that I literally physically could not cry and reinforce that by if you cry, I will hit you harder. And in that, one of the things that happened, I just learned how to turn that off emotionally. And so. Anything, I mean, I remember the day, my dad, my grandma died, my aunt had called me and nothing, the day my mother died, nothing. When I found out one of my best friends got murdered, nothing, fired from the job, broken relationships, some getting hurt, like anything, like I just did not cry. And slowly, and I found my space for being able to cry through a film actually, and so I would watch, I would feel so pent up like it just like, it was gonna explode out of me if I didn't do something about it. And what I would do is I would watch Goodwill hunting and that movie, even to this day, that movie just makes me ball. And I would just watch films and I would cry and I watch, I'd go find the saddest home.

One time I looked up the top 100 saddest films and I just started checking 'em off. And it was a weird way to step into that emotional response, but I didn't know how else to do it because the stimulus of real-life experiences would not give me that. And so, I said, okay, maybe I can artificially manifest it by making myself cry, and that's what I would do. And so, in doing that slowly but surely the more I cried, the more emotional I became, the more impactful it became in my life. And so, finding that space for yourself to have that emotional release is so incredibly important. And when you have that emotional release, when you put yourself in that position, the really incredible thing that's going to happen is that you're slowly going to find the capacity to be okay with being an emotional human being.

One of the biggest things that we have as a form of escapism and trauma is to not allow our emotions to exist. We often become robotic, it may feel sociopathic at points and by having the willingness to face the massive amount of discomfort, which is truly what it is, you'll grow. And so, just to recap those again, first I believe is acknowledgement, second is moving your physical body and third crying.

And I think if you will give yourself the space to experience those things, you will make leaps and bounds in this healing journey. Right? You can go reference some of the podcasts that we've had over the years. If you go over to thinkunbrokenpodcast.com and see some of the amazing guests who have talked about some of these things, I'd point you to a couple episodes in particular that, I think are really important. One would be Anna Lembke, two would be Dr. Caroline Leaf and number three that comes to mind right off the top of my head would be Paul Gil Martin. And so, if you go to thinkunbrokenpodcast.com and click guest you can find all of those episodes there. We'll also link them in the show notes here.

Keep in mind, we have a YouTube. So, if you are watching those on YouTube at Think Unbroken Podcasts on YouTube, thank you so much for that. We're gonna be doing a lot more video content where you're going to want to be watching, and I'll be breaking down things on my whiteboard. So, we'll be excited to do that as we head into really the second half of this year, we're going strong 365 episodes haven't missed a day yet means the world that you guys are supporting us on this endeavor. You know, the one thing about it is I'm learning as I'm going. So, I recognize some episodes are really good and some episodes aren't and I think that's just the process of it, not everything's gonna be gold, but that doesn't mean that we stop.

And so, I thank you for being a part of this Unbroken Nation.

Have an amazing day, my friends.

And Until Next Time.

Be Unbroken.

I'll see ya.

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Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.