In this episode, I talk about the power of forgiving yourself. There is power and acknowledging and allowing the truth that the awful and traumatic events that happened to you as a child are not your fault. Catch Up Now and Listen today!
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e289-forgive-yourself-mental-health-coach/#show-notes
In this episode, I talk about the power of forgiving yourself. There is power and acknowledging and allowing the truth that the awful and traumatic events that happened to you as a child are not your fault.
Catch Up Now and Listen today!
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You have to forgive yourself.
Forgiving yourself as the most important and easily, the most challenging thing you'll ever do in your life. There is power and acknowledging and allowing the truth that the awful and traumatic events that happened to you as a child are not your fault. Nothing about the experience that you've had growing up as your fault, you are not guilty of the bad things that happened to you. The people who were supposed to take care of you, did not, they failed, not you.
They are the responsible ones not you, not five-year-old, ten-year-old, fifteen-year-old, even eighteen-year-old you. You are not responsible for those things and you're going to have to come to peace with that shit and I'm sorry, I wish it weren't true, I wish it weren't the case but I have no fucking idea how you can move forward in life if you're still holding yourself accountable for other people's mistakes.
So, think about that for a moment.
Can you forgive yourself?
If you can't at this moment what I want you to understand is it is not your fault. You cannot be responsible for shit that you didn't do. Got it? And no way can you be responsible for the rain in the same way you cannot be responsible for the sunshine, you just can't. And stop trying to find reasons why you can or should because you're just stealing from yourself, that shit there that's fucking dark, it's ugly, it's unhealthy and it will eat you alive.
You've got to be able to step ahead of that guilt.
Forgiveness is so important in this healing journey.
And look, I recognize and I understand where you may be because I used to beat myself up every single day. I must not have been good enough that's why my birth father was never in my life, I must be a loser that's why all those beatings happen and so on. There are so many stories that we have and I've said it a million times, we are the stories that we tell ourselves.
So, start telling yourself a different story, you owe it to yourself, you owe forgiveness to yourself for shit that you didn't do. Period.
If someone throws garbage in your front yard you can either step over it every day and pretend it's not there or you can clean it up. The sad truth about this is we are often left cleaning up other people's mistakes.
One practical tool that worked exceptionally well for me was creating an inner dialogue with my inner child. I would sit alone in silence and visualize telling the child in me that what happened wasn't their fault. I'll be honest this was incredibly difficult at first and as you will read later it was a precursor for a massive shift in my life. I know that you might be reading this and thinking the very prospect of speaking to your inner child as stupid but if you are willing to step into it, you will see change.
Think about what it would mean to forgive yourself.
What would happen if you took away the shame and guilt that you feel for your childhood experiences that you are not in control of? What would you feel would it be a sense of relief, hope or excitement?
Once you take a moment and write down what your life would look and feel like, if you forgive yourself for things that are not your fault.