E286: You DON'T Have to justify who you are to anyone! (PART 3) | Mental Health Coach
In this episode, this is the continuation of our conversation about being who you are and what is the most important thing that you can do to find success in life. Are You Ready for Greater and Positive Outcomes? Catch Up Now!
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e286-you-dont-have-to-justify-who-you-are-to-anyone-part-3-mental-health-coach/#show-notes
In this episode, this is the continuation of our conversation about being who you are and what is the most important thing that you can do to find success in life.
Are You Ready for Greater and Positive Outcomes?
Catch Up Now!
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Positive thoughts actually create real change in the physiology of your brain. And so, when you think about the way that you are stepping into who you are most people the vast majority, I would step into change not who they are about the looking at the negativity of through the scope of discomfort. What I try to do is one of the things that has gotten me where I am right now one of the things I encourage, all of my clients do is to do things that make them uncomfortable but think about the positive outcome because when you're thinking and you're focused on the positive outcomes just like I wrote in the first book Think Unbroken; fear and excitement are the same physiological response, it's just that when you don't understand the truth that when you're flooded with adrenaline and you're in that state the body wants to escape and run. Look that's not always necessarily beneficial to, I'll give you a great example of the moment that it's not.
Let's say, public speaking, the thing that everyone says is everyone's biggest fear, I don't think that's the biggest fear, I just think people not figured out how to yet assess the emotional chemical reaction to the stimulus of stepping on stage. And so, when were flooded with adrenaline and we are going from this place where our amygdala firing and say wait, a second, hold on, this might be a fight or flight situation, would you have to do would bring a massive, massive, massive amount time is an awareness to what has happening? And so, when you have this emotional response to stimulus which you effectively will this could be anything from love to, anger, car accidents or stepping into room for dinner or anything the way that you think of that moment matters so much because that's where you're going to create the emotional response to it through where. So, when you're getting ready to go on stage again, we're using this for conflicts because I think it's this common here is when you're having that and when you’re having adrenaline and stomach feels weird and your hands get deeply and numb, what you have to understand is that is your brain preparing for fight, flight freeze fought like, such a sympathetic response. And in that moment if you could ask yourself this question which I think is important question, am I safe?
If you can ask yourself that question you notice that then adrenaline, you’re having actually you’re paying attention will actually begin to subside because you have to remind; if your brain is trapped darkness not actually really, it's interesting because there's a lot of conversation of blood controls the brain, the mind or the brain, and I think it's the mind, I think your thoughts, I know this. And so, in these moments of stepping into being unknown that who is that you are there is automatic response that is physical that it's happen. It could be anything, I mean the first time that you like, here's a weird example, let's say you wanna go roller escape we haven't done seven and nine forty, I would go with that nervous that sensation comes. Now, historically when you try things that are uncomfortable and you failed, you didn't go actually maybe there's a little bit of embarrassment amount of time with it, your brain will no, no, no. How many people do you know, you may be one of those people, I just to do one these people were some ask me hey, go do this thing and it be something I was actually interested in doing but on default to know. How many of you guys are thinking to default to know, where you just asking I can't? Right? I believe there is an amount of fearlessness that you need in your life as you are creating then the willingness to ask yourself win face with stepping into this new understanding, we are in having emotional response you’re having to ask yourself am I safe? Because chances are you are saying. Now of course there's context it's a totally different situation but I'm talking about more of day-to-day life. At this moment, as you’re stepping creating of who you are. So, if the chasm for healing in this journey is the space of stepping into a creating your identity, then when you create the identity through excitement who it is that who you are in building into it's less likely that you're going to run from it as a survival response to stimulus, think about this for a second. If the only thing you run for what you’re curious about towards your wants, need, interest, your value, the thing inside of you go towards, if you always run away from them that's an autonomic and often subconscious response to something that your brain has evaluated the passive dangerous. What I'm telling, if you listen what I'm saying right now in those moments, I'll give you another one this is one of my favorites actually.
How many people like, carry probably something except it terrified and your body, no way, can't even fathom but when you understand that the emotional response of the body has the fear of excitement is the same thing it simply, am I safe? You will have a vastly different experience.
And I think what the things that important is not vastly between them, am I safe or not? But instead, as soon as you have the answer to move in towards the thing that you need do is you can always find a reason why you can't up something. So, I think that's always very simple but in life in the scope of safety it's know you have the opportunity to understand that a deeper scope level would, in my doing that you begin to step into a further reframing of your past experiences to put them on the shelves where they need to go so, they're not impacting your day-to-day life being aligned.
Think about this and you're always living in; you're always living this place I can't, I'm scared, you'll never fully step into understanding who you are.
Now what I'm getting to here, I know it's a very long explanation but I wanted to create a massive context for you guys to understand causation and correlation in this journey. I think it's not touched on enough; I think people are missing on it and that's why we're going back into this domain because we must understand behavioral patterns today based on the experiences of your past, this is everything to understand and how you got to where you are today because the only way you get to where you want to go is to understand how you are to where you are today.
And so, as you go in this process, as you said this is who I wanna be, this is why I don't believe that I am, this is I have this ideation about my myself that I want to explore.
The most important thing that you can do is not justify who you are but instead act. Action teaches you about who you are than anything else. Most people will go and ask permission to be themselves before actually being himself and this is dangerous, why? Why is this dangerous? Because the moment that you start to bring in outside you but the plane is going to revert that to assessing for danger because the people around you what they're going to do is they're going to say, are you sure? Are you sure you wanna do that? It doesn't sound like a great idea ever, Tom, Jennifer, Steve, I don’t know guys and doesn't it sound like a great idea you're sure you wanna do that because I did that one thing that one time, I have a bad experience I said.
Well think about this, what does that happen to do with you?
Other people's experiences, I mean of course we’re communal, but in reality, we don't live life each other and so because of that would have to understand this while people may have your best interest in mind, their won’t. The only way that you're gonna know who you are is by having the experience that you need to experience to find out the truth.
How do you find up more by instead of asking which is a form of justification, right? Is it okay if I do this then? Is it okay, can someone need give me a permission to be instead of asking to be you what you do if you want to find success in your life is you've stepped into, being you and understand that you do not have to ask people permission to do so. There's a lot of this there's, so many aspects of this journey that I know are in real-time being evaluated by each of us as individuals. But the one thing that I know that whole of true in this experience of healing is that those willing to say this is who I am, plant their flag in the ground and again this is factoring in that you have created a framework of a baseline foundation for you are. You know your values, you wants, your needs, your interest, your moral character, your personal, your boundaries, you have a mission, a motto state that you have something that can conveys of who you are that becomes the framework for you deal to step into this effectively…
Michael Unbroken
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Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.
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