April 29, 2022

E284: You DON'T Have to justify who you are to anyone! (PART 2) | Mental Health Podcast

In this episode, this is PART TWO of our conversation about being who you are. Just doing your thoughts alone can change your brain, and when you start to associate the experiences, you're having about who you are and who you are looking to become in...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e284-you-dont-have-to-justify-who-you-are-to-anyone-part-2-mental-health-podcast/#show-notes


In this episode, this is PART TWO of our conversation about being who you are.

Just doing your thoughts alone can change your brain, and when you start to associate the experiences, you're having about who you are and who you are looking to become in positive ways, your brain starts to change physically.

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Transcript

The problem with that well, this the best part of it is that it keeps you safe, right? But I think we can all agree because we're all live listening this right now, thank you, take a moment of this think brains, I think my brain never thank you, it's been my motherfucker for getting me here, I appreciate you, I know we got more work to do, thank you guys, be grateful for your brain please, I know it's great and asked sometimes but it's got you where you are. So, the downside of this is that when your brain starts to recognize the stimulus that says I am unsafe, well people remove it from the possibility of doing because ultimately survival is the most important thing. So, if the brain equates your behaviors, your identity, the way that you speak, the way that you act, the way that you talk, the way that you behave, the way that you make mistakes or learn are things that are negative to the brain will tell you that is unsafe, don’t do that. Think about this for a second, maybe just briefly go through the whole of memories in your head and what you are faced with this moment that you learn it's unsafe to begin, think about what happen.

I remember specifically when I was ten or eleven, I was reading the newspaper, in the newspaper there sports, right? And I didn't really know understand that was what there were all of the titles associated with the month of what you like, so, I was born October, I'm like taurus whatever. So, going through I'm reading the horoscope and I'm trying to go through out of my baby brother the youngest brother he was born and so that's obviously, I don't say obviously biases. So, going through it what I'm sounding it out, I save this then my stepdad freaks out on me, right? I don't even know what thesis needs at this point right nor the word I going through this reading and in that moment he just smack in my face it so incredibly hard and I didn't understand why, I didn't understand why like, why would that happen? Why would I have to experience a specific pain as I'm trying to learn and to develop something? Okay, so what's like, causation and correlation, right? I'm laying up my story because I'm hoping that in this you will have a better understanding of those experiences in your own life that of ledger data.

So, when you look at you understand that in this situation your brain evaluates this experience and it says alright when I try to do something like read, aloud selling out words that I do not understand so that I can than them, there pain and interference thus what will happen is that you will know how to do that and I can track this, I wish is a child where has some teach me about to say. So, I have been going through elementary school in doing spelling every Friday in winning all the time like, probably is so often than the other kids presentive me which I actually believe is true which is understandable right. And then this moment happens and immediately after I stopped entering like, me was probable that's week, I stopped doing the spelling and my teacher remember her name was Ms. Thompson she came up to me, why don't you this spelling? You're doing such a good job, you need to in them and I just said as children doing that and she's trying to push me back and she's like, you're doing such a good job, you getting on these coast stickers on the chart you, if you guys remember the pizza hut, and pizzas that came in the little brown boxes as a kid that unbelievably delicious and so bad for you. We're like for me, one of my favorite things I could not wait, I would literally want to win more food. Now there's a lot of contexts behind that poverty but she's trying to get me to come back and finally she says to me you don't have to do this forced to this but you should do and I didn't understand what she was saying I'm like hold on. So, no longer continue to do them about part of the year and I realize at some point this is probably five percent years ago therapy, sharing the story with therapist, he goes, you realize that you stopped wanting to do what uncomfortable things because of the abuse and suffering around the moment, (shit! alright, you’re spot on) And when I measure a lot of the experiences of school youth, my early twenties I did not want to be a center of attention in any capacity. And I realize that is such a direct correlation in that moment but being like, it's not okay, it's painful and hurtful for me to be wrong.

Your brain asked up think about this if your brain is taking us experience it's looking at what happening like it's measuring them and trying to understand the meaning of those experience of them in a way and helps you be safe and navigate world that it's going to look at of experience like that can tell you actually you shouldn't do this. And this was the thing that was good at, good spelling, good spelling was good and because of this interaction with my step father because of the physical pain of that moment with my brain and value. I wrote like that was a part of my personality as a kid, I was competitive as an adult of you know, I'm better us but there was this huge gap where my competitiveness is had got to the side where my identity started getting stripped away even more about competitive things or other things were trying to figure out how to navigate something I do understand.

This is why you see so many people who they at sort of possibility of doing something like unknown they quit because the association is doing this thing that I'm not vision have will caused me to be embarrassed thus in the light of trying that to be embarrassed because I equate that at some like the journey of my life as pain, suffering, possibly not to experience now, yeah, right? The brains have don't do this thing so subconsciously and because then is the tie that we have to it when you're faced with wanna step into the unknown, we get stuck like that's where stuckness comes from the unwillingness to the difficulty of unknown but it's reasonable and you would be that way if the precedent that was set for stepping into the unknown was pain and the brains only purpose is survival.

I hope you guys are following, I hope that you are seeing this track, right? Fast forward today, you're watching me live or listen on the podcast, thank you very much if you're listening or you're noticing that I'm doing something uncomfortable unknown to me, I'm talking about these experiences I'm live in front of thousands of people, tens of thousands of people which thank you so much, you guys are freaking amazing, you are going to listen to. And yet I still have this experience of the past that had form of me the potential of making a mistake to equal pain. So, how does take you to where you were the experience to your childhood to where you are today in this real-life experience?

The truth is we have to be willing to do two things…

One you have to do willing to no longer justify who you are to be, to anyone, as long as you're operating the alignment with who you are, your whole character and your wants, needs and interest and your values. And if that holds true and honestly across the board you do not have to justify yourself to be.

The other probably important shows start here is recognizing that way you step through changing and understand what truth the brain is incredible, the putting is incredibly fast and what that means is that you have the ability to change more components.

Just do your thoughts alone can change your brain forever and when you start to associate the experiences that you're having right now about who you are and who you are looking to become in positive ways your brain starts to physically change. You can watch this on MRI Doctor Carolyn, very, very excited about coming Unbroken talks about this depth, and this incredible measurement for looking at life through this ability to simply positive and watch your brain change.

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Michael Unbroken

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Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.