E257: Spanking is stupid | CPTSD Healing Coach
In this episode, I talk about spanking is stupid. I want to talk about this today because I want to voice my opinion on it. The majority of you listening in the Unbroken Nation are not those who are hitting your children but what I want you to do, and...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e257-spanking-is-stupid-cptsd-healing-coach/#show-notes
In this episode, I talk about spanking is stupid. I want to talk about this today because I want to voice my opinion on it.
The majority of you listening in the Unbroken Nation are not those who are hitting your children but what I want you to do, and this will be uncomfortable. Still, I think it's necessary to share this episode, share it with friends, share it with family, share it on your social, and share it with people you know are disappointing their children in this aspect.
You have a choice to make today about what legacy you want to leave.
Just Listen. Be The Hero Of Your Own Story!
Learn more about Think Unbroken and Pre-Order my new book: Unbroken Man. Plus, learn more about the free coaching and other mental health programs. Click here: https://linktr.ee/michaelunbroken
Support the Podcast: Become a listed sponsor!
Follow me on Instagram @MichaelUnbroken
Learn more about coaching at https://coaching.thinkunbroken.com
Get your FREE copy of my #1 Best-Selling Book Think Unbroken: https://book.thinkunbroken.com/
Spanking is stupid.
What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well wherever you are in the world today. That intro and the title of this episode tell you everything that you need to know about what I'm to talk about.
You know one of the most polarizing things that I put on social media is my argument against spanking and the reason why I'm bringing this up on this show particularly is because I think it's a conversation that needs to be had it's a conversation we need to dive back into it's been a few years since I brought this up and I had on friends podcast the other day and he brought up the fact that people were destroying him on social media for telling other fathers that they should not spank their children. He actually came up with a list of multiple reasons why you should not spank and alternatives to doing so one of which and I think I understand the reason why he got destroyed by people unfairly and unjustly may add is because he said one of the reasons that it's stupid distinct kids is that it's an indication that you're not communicating as a parent and you're inconsistent communicating. I thought to myself yep that sounds about right. You know that post when I make it and I'm gonna make it again because I want to and and I always end up going to war with people and it makes me think of that Jay-z quote I always tell you guys about you know never argue the fool because from a distance people can't tell who was who.
And the reason why I wanna talk about this today is because I just want to voice my opinion on it you know when somebody messaged me and they're like you know your platform you're such on a soap box sometimes like it's my show I should be on a soap box, I wanna talk about the things that matter to me, I'm not gonna placate you because you don't like what I have to say and in fact if you don't, just don't follow me, don't listen, turn this off right now and if you're prose spanking just hear me out because people will go to this place about this conversation and they'll go well I turned out fine and I think to myself yeah but did you really turn out fine because I'm pretty sure that your wife that I'm coaching is telling me that you don't know how to communicate, I'm pretty sure that your kids are telling you that you don't ever hug them, pretty sure that your friends are talking about the fact that you're never vulnerable, I'm pretty sure there's a lot of shit that's happening in your life right now and obviously I'm paying a very general and broad aspect picture here. But it's insane to me that people would say I turned out fine after being abused as a child through spanking and they'll go oh, yeah but I will only hit once or twice at a time and I go well but what does that teach you?
Think about this for a second like, I actually think about this.
If abuse which I believe it is is the theft of identity and the pain that we suffer in the experiences that we have are a result of us trying to be who we believe that we're capable of being as children, then that means that those things that occur that result in punishment tell our brain that it's not okay to be us even if it's once or twice at a time. When you look at with the results of the ACE survey the Adverse Childhood Experienced Survey done by Doctor Felitti the California center for disease control and Kaiser Permanente in the nineties they surveyed over eighteen thousand people and they found a direct correlation between childhood trauma and abuse and long term detrimental health ramifications. The ACE survey was a series of ten questions I won't go into them all but you can check them out if you just search ACE survey or if you read my first book Think Unbroken I dive into the research.
You know one of a couple of questions were you ever hit, well did a parent not take care of you or take you the doctor when you needed? Was anyone in the household suicidal? Did anyone the household go to prison or jail? And all these things have a correlation on a long enough timeline to detrimental health ramifications. Depending on where you fall in that survey if you're like me with an ACE score of ten you'd be up to fifty two hundred percent more likely to commit suicide, twenty two hundred percent more likely to be alcoholic, it two thousand percent more likely to use tobacco and then you look at the other things like pulmonary embolism, heart attacks, diabetes, asthma, heart disease, exponentially skyrocket. Why? Well because when you grow up in a cortisol state and you're constantly in fight or flight the thing that happens is your body never goes into rest and digest to recover and so when you're always in fight or flight your body is only trying to do one thing and that's to survive and that just does not serve you. And what happens is you look at that and people will go, yeah but I was fine, I turned out okay, yes my parents spank me but nothing happened. Are you sure? Are you sick? Are you on unwell? Do you have anxiety? Do you have depression? Do you get lost in conversation? Do you have a hard time conveying messages? Do you find yourself constantly stuck and making decisions? Do you feel like you don't know who you are? Do you feel like every time that you do make a choice your second guessing yourself? Do you struggle through intimacy and vulnerability in connection and commitment? Do you feel like everyone is out to get you? Are you sure it didn't impact you.
And look, I know I sound on right now because I am, I’m kinda pissed off like I think about this and it drives me crazy it's ignorant to hit a child, you're stupid if you do. And look ignorant is a lack of knowledge. Ignorant is the lack of knowledge and it's one of those things that when I think about it I go we have to do better, right? Stupid. I'm gonna read the definition of stupid to you. It's attending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes marked by a lack of intelligence or care and people who spank their children are making poor decisions marked by a lack of intelligence thus stupid. And I will tell you to your face and the reason why is because it's ignorance it's pure ignorance. There is not one drop of fucking research on planet earth that shows that hitting a child makes any fucking rational sense. It is one of the most detrimental actions that we can have as a human being that we can take as a human being, to hit a child.
Think about this for I'm six foot four, two twenty, I workout five six times a week, Im pretty strong, pretty big guy, cannot imagine hitting a child. I know what I'm capable of doing, I know the strength that I possess more importantly I know the detrimental long term ramifications of that abuse. You know there's causation and correlation to everything that happens.
I see this in my clients, I see this in the struggles that they have to go through and learning to love themselves, I see it in myself in my journey of the same thing, I see it and the people who reach out to me who listen to this podcast, who show up to the events, who watched me speak, we're all talking about the same thing that abuse impacts us. And so while yes I'm on a soap box right now, I'm gonna tell you right now, spanking is stupid it makes no fucking sense. And in fact it's probably one of the most harmful things that you can do to a child.
So one of the most harmful things hitting people is just not acceptable, it's just not. I mean outside of the rules of organized and official combat which you know I'm a complete lover of, I love mixed martial arts outside of that there's no space and we teach children young and people go, yeah but my dad hit me and his dad hit him and everything was fine or my mom hit me and her mom hit her and you know I'm okay and it's just not true.
When you dive in and you understand the truth about those experiences what you recognize is the negative impact and though the damage that you're leaving in the wake of your ill informed decisions. Now look I recognize and I hope to God I don't know because I don't have any statistics on this but the majority of you listening in the Unbroken Nation are not those who are hitting your children, I would guess ninety nine point nine percent of you are not but what I want you to do and this will be uncomfortable but I think it's necessary as to really share this episode, to share it with friends, to share it with family, to share it on your social, to share it with people that you know are disappointing their children in this aspect. I mean there's not a single drop of evidence in any research over the last fifty years that indicates that there's efficacy in spanking. It is not a discipline that works because you're reinforcing mistakes with fear, you're reinforcing the things that children have to figure out on their own with pain. And that's a smart; it's a very strong indication that if you're hitting a child you're not paying attention, you're not healed, you haven't done the word, you haven't learned, you haven't educated yourself and people will always here's the argument here's my favorite argument that I love to debunk so let's do it right now.
People go well you know I think my parents did the best with what they had I go sure okay, that's fair, I get it, they did the best with what they had. I wonder if they had the library, I wonder if they had access to books about psychology, I wonder if they could have access mas hierarchy of needs, I wonder if they could have read about Gestalt therapy, I wonder if they could have been in a position to start learning to break the cycle. And people will go why turned out fine, right, you say so I'm gonna trust you, I don't know not you, I don't know if your parents did do their best, I don't know mine didn't they had access the library was literally around the corner from her house it's where I ran away at you all the time so I was safe. Did they do their best? I don't think so, I don't and people argue that and you know maybe I'm wrong maybe I'm fucking dead wrong, maybe I'm wrong about all this but I don't think so and if there's one pedestal that I will ever stand on it's this one and I'm not coming down, I think spanking kids is stupid, I think it's a dumbest shit we can fucking do.
And I think that if you're a parent who has hit your kids it's time to stop; it's time to stop and fucking grow up and become a mature responsible human being who is creating life for the betterment of those who come after them. People always talk about I wanna make the world a better place than what I came into. You cannot hit your kids and expect that to be true because I'm gonna tell you what happens in seventeen years and twenty five years they're coming over here this program and again I pray and I hope that the listeners of the Unbroken Nation are not in that category and I hope that you'll share this for this purpose because we need more tension and denies on it and I know I'm fired up, I know this is an emotional episode but it drives me crazy because it's like the reality is we can change all this today.
The mission of this show of Think Unbroken of everything that I do is to end generational trauma in my lifetime through education and information and if you send me a research study that proves spanking a child makes them fucking president of the United States and the best father and the best lover and the best communicator and the absolute best version of themselves and they have no struggles and no issue and no worries and no early onset illnesses and no pain and no suffering and no guilt no shame. Sign me up, but that fucking research doesn't exist.
So I'm gonna leave with this…
You have a decision to make today.
You have a choice to make today about what legacy you wanna leave, about who you wanna be and I pray that you make a decision to understand the facts, to understand everything that I just laid out and I hope that you will do whatever it takes to be the hero of your own story.
Unbroken Nation, thank you so much for listening.
Please like, subscribe, comment, share.
Tell a friend.
And Until Next Time.
My friends, Be Unbroken.
I'll see you.
Michael Unbroken
Coach
Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.
Listen On
Welcome to The Think Unbroken Podcast!
Here are some of my favorite recent guests!
How to Find the Courage to Be Yourself | with Leila Hormozi
In this powerful episode, Michael Unbroken sits down with Leila Hormozi. Leila opens up about her traumatic childhood experiences of loneliness, neglect, and having an absentee mother struggling with addiction. She shares how a pivotal moment as a young girl …
Break Toxic Relationship Cycles | with Kel Cal
In this episode, special guest Kel Cal shares her personal journey of leaving an emotionally abusive marriage, overcoming childhood trauma, and reclaiming her power. Learn how... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/break-toxic-relationship-cycles-with-kel-cal/#shownotes
From Addict to Healer | with Brandon Novak
Michael Unbroken delves into addiction, redemption, and self-love with guest Brandon Novak.... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/from-addict-to-healer-with-brandon-novak/#show-notes
The Journey to Self-Love and Personal Growth | with David Shands
Welcome to the Think Unbroken Podcast, where Michael dives deep into insightful conversations with extraordinary individuals like David Shands.... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/the-journey-to-self-love-and-personal-growth-with-david-shands/#show-notes
How to Live with Survivors Guilt | with Cole Hatter
In this episode, I am joined by my guest Cole Hatter, a renowned thought leader and inspirational speaker... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/how-to-live-with-survivors-guilt-with-cole-hatter/#show-notes
Building Resilience and Unstoppable Confidence | with Stormy Wellingt…
In today's episode, I speak with Stormy Wellington a Spiritual Leader, Wellness Guru and Modern-Day Harriet Tubman... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/building-resilience-and-unstoppable-confidence-with-stormy-wellington/#show-notes
The Secret for Abundance Mindset | with Chance Welton
Are you ready to unlock the secret to living an abundant life?... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/the-secret-for-abundance-mindset-with-chance-welton/#show-notes
Transform Failure Into Success With Love with Ryan Pineda
In this episode, we have an inspiring guest speaker, Ryan Pineda, joining us to share his incredible story of turning failure into success through the power of love... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/transform-failure-into-success-with-love-with-ryan-pineda/#show-notes
How to Think Unbroken - AlignCon keynote with Michael Unbroken
Join us for an inspiring episode of the Think Unbroken Podcast featuring a keynote speech by Michael Unbroken, a remarkable individual who defied all odds to achieve success... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/how-to-think-unbroken-aligncon-keynote-with-michael-unbroken/#show-notes
Overcoming Addiction and Healing Trauma with Mike Diamond
Have you been personally impacted by addiction and trauma and are looking for actionable techniques to make a positive difference? This episode is for you!... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/overcoming-addiction-and-healing-trauma-with-mike-diamond/#show-notes
Unleashing Personal Growth and Transformation with Ryan Zofay
In this episode, I interview Ryan Zofay, a successful entrepreneur and motivational speaker who has dedicated his life to teaching personal development strategies... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/unleashing-personal-growth-and-transformation-with-ryan-zofay/#show-notes
Letting Go of Shame and Embracing Self-Love with Andrea Ashley
In this powerful episode of the Think Unbroken Podcast, host Michael Unbroken sits down with Andrea Ashley, the host of the Adult Child Podcast, to discuss the journey of healing and self-love... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/letting-go-of-shame-and-embracing-self-love-with-andrea-ashley/#show-notes
The Wisdom of Rabbi Steven Z. Leder: Living a Meaningful Life and Fac…
Today, we sit down with Rabbi Steven Z. Leder, Senior Rabbi of Wilshire Boulevard Temple, to discuss his journey to becoming a rabbi, and expert on death... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/the-wisdom-of-rabbi-steven-z-leder-living-a-meaningful-life-and-facing-the-reality-of-death/#show-notes
Finding Home Within Yourself After Heartbreak with Najwa Zebian
In today's episode, I am joined by my guest – Najwa Zebian. Najwa is a bestselling author and activist who has written a powerful guide to building a home for your soul called "Welcome Home". Through their candid conversation... See …
Navigating Trauma and Mental Health with Lori Gottlieb, a Psychothera…
In this episode, I speak with Lori Gottlieb, a licensed psychotherapist, as she delves into the complexities of trauma healing and mental health... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/navigating-trauma-and-mental-health-with-lori-gottlieb-a-psychotherapists-perspective/#show-notes
Transform Your Life: 10 Innovative Ideas with Gino Wickman
Are you looking to make a change in your life but don't know where to start? Today, I am joined by my friend Gino Wickman as he shares 10 innovative ideas to help you take control and transform your life... …
Navigating The Mental Health To Be a Multi-million Dollar Entrepreneu…
Today, we sit down with Amy Porterfield, an ex-corporate girl turned online marketing expert and CEO of a multi-million dollar business... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/navigating-the-mental-health-to-be-a-multi-million-dollar-entrepreneur-with-amy-porterfield/#show-notes
Healing from Trauma with Dr. Mariel Buqué: Expert Insights and Strate…
In this episode, I speak with Dr. Mariel Buqué, a holistic psychologist & an intergenerational trauma expert. Join us as she shares her insights and strategies for healing from traumatic experiences and building resilience... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/healing-from-trauma-with-dr-mariel-buque-expert-insights-and-strategies/#show-notes
Exploring the Myth of Normal Mental Health with Dr. Gabor Maté
In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned expert in the field of addiction, stress and childhood development. Dr. Maté discusses the myth of "normal" mental health and how our society's narrow definition of what is …
Overcoming Trauma and Finding Hope: Personal Stories and Practical Ti…
Today, we delve into the journey of overcoming trauma and finding hope. I will share personal stories and offer practical tips for those who are struggling with their... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/watch-this-and-everything-will-change-trauma-healing-podcast/#show-notes
Dr. Laura Berman - Is your past standing in the way of self-love? Her…
In today's episode, I'm very excited to share with you Dr. Laura Berman, a sex and relationship expert who has helped thousands of people over the years. And thousands and thousands of people learn some of the most practical tools …
Vishen Lakhiani - Letting go of Pain and Finding Forgiveness | Mental…
In this episode, I speak with amazing guest Vishen Lakhiani. He is an entrepreneur, author, and activist on a mission to raise human... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/vishen-lakhiani-letting-go-of-pain-and-finding-forgiveness-mental-health-podcast/#show-notes
Jonas Kaplan - How Neuroscience Impacts your Beliefs, Identity, and S…
Today, you'll learn more about the foundational understanding of identity and beliefs and why we operate the way we do and look at how... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/jonas-kaplan-how-neuroscience-impacts-your-beliefs-identity-and-self-narrative-mental-health-coach/#show-notes
Erica Garza - One Woman’s Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction | Tr…
Join us for FREE, Unbroken Conference at: Do women struggle with porn addiction? In this episode, I speak with Erica Garza the author of the memoir, Getting Off:... See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/erica-garza-one-womans-journey-through-sex-and-porn-addiction-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes
Natalie Dawson - Finding Confidence and Courage | Trauma Healing Coach
How Do You Build Confidence in Yourself? Confidence can be a tough thing to build up. But today, we will talk about how to put together some handy tips to help you and be the hero... See show notes at: …
Dr. Uma Naidoo- Harvard Psychiatrist on how to use food and diet to h…
Join our FREE COMMUNITY as a member of the Unbroken Nation: How do you start healing your body with food? In this episode, I speak with amazing guest, Dr. Uma Naidoo, who is a Nutritional Psychiatrist. We talk about recognizing …
Lesley Logan - Chasing Your Purpose | Trauma Healing Podcast
Join our FREE COMMUNITY as a member of the Unbroken Nation: How do you chase your purpose? We talk about how to chase your purpose. Living with purpose is about remembering why you started and living in a way that …
E379: Moran Cerf - How LUCID dreaming can IMPACT mental health and tr…
On Today's Episode: I am joined by my guest Moran Cerf s a neuroscientist and business professor at the Kellogg School of Management and the neuroscience program at Northwestern University. See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e379-moran-cerf-how-lucid-dreaming-can-impact-mental-health-and-trauma/#show-notes
E369: Dr. Jud Brewer - end ANXIETY and WORRY today! | CPTSD and Traum…
What if I told you that anxiety and worry were emotional, behavioral habits that you can end through a simple three-step process. Jud Brewer. AKA Dr. Jud is a New York Times bestselling author and thought leader in the field …
E358: 10-No BS lessons to be the HERO of your life with Lisa Bilyeu |…
In this episode of the Think Unbroken Podcast, Lisa Bilyeu shares how she kickstarted herself out of the mundane to become one of the most influential voices in the personal development world-and how you too can gain the confidence to …
E346: The MINDSET of A ZEN Navy SEAL with Mark Divine | Mental Health…
About seven years ago, I listened to today's guest, Mark Divine, on Tom Bilyeu's Inside Quest. And I was immediately captivated, like I could not actually put into words the thoughts going through my head. See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e346-the-mindset-of-a-zen-navy-seal-with-mark-divine-mental-health-coach/#show-notes
E344: If You Want To FIND YOUR PURPOSE In Life with Jenna Kutcher | T…
Change is inevitable; it's as imminent as the moon, the tide, and the seasonal Starbucks menu; it's a rite of passage for all of us. Transformation is power, energy, and momentum. It keeps us moving forward. See show notes at: …
E325: Cleaning your Mental Mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf | Mental Healt…
In this episode, we have an amazing guest – Doctor Caroline Leaf, who has played a massive role in my personal healing journey over the years, someone that has been a voice that has helped me get to where I …
E318: How to be happy and manifest the life you want with David Meltz…
In this episode, I speak with one of my great friends David Meltzer. David has spent the last vast majority of his life on a mission to help over one billion people be happy. See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e318-how-to-be-happy-and-manifest-the-life-you-want-with-david-meltzer-mental-health-coach/#show-notes
E299: The Miracle Mindset with Tim Storey | CPTSD and Trauma Healing …
In this episode, the number one celebrity coach on planet earth is about to have a conversation with us, Unbroken Nation. I am to announce and share with you that you are about to listen to none other than the …
E242: Suicide, incest, vulnerability, and kindness with Paul Gilmarti…
In this episode, I'm very excited to be back with you with another episode, and today's guest is Paul Gilmartin, the host of Mental Illness Happy Hour. If you've ever had thoughts about suicide, this is an episode that you …
E203: How to Understand Addiction as a Trauma Survivor with Dr. Anna …
In this episode, I am excited to bring on Dr. Anna Lembke, one of the leading researchers and scientists on addiction on planet earth. She is a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine and Chief of the …
E186: How I became Unbroken on 7 Hats | CPTSD and Trauma Healing Podc…
In this episode, I was recently on The Seven Hats Podcast, and I've never done this before, so this will be my first time on the show that I do anything like this. You're about to listen to an episode …
E157: Discovering who you are through fear with Dave Hollis | CPTSD a…
In this episode, I sit with my friend Dave Hollis and we talk about his journey to where he is today, you know, it's a really fascinating conversation and a story about not only facing your fear but what it …
E131 Overcoming Trauma and Self-Sabotage with Iris McAlpin | CPTSD an…
In this episode, I sit down with my friend Iris McAlpin. Iris McAlpin is a certified trauma coach and NARM® Practitioner specializing in self-sabotage, eating disorder recovery, and complex trauma. See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e131-overcoming-trauma-and-self-sabotage-with-iris-mcalpin-cptsd-and-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes
E130 The Theory of Impact with Tom Bilyeu | CPTSD and Trauma Healing …
In this episode, we have a guest speaker Tom Bilyeu. Tom is someone I consider to be both a peer and a mentor who tremendously helped me in my journey – singularly, I can point to him and three other …
E125 Creating Success in your Life with Damon Burton | CPTSD and Trau…
In this episode, I speak with one of my very close friends, Damon Burton. Damon is a Forbes contributor and an Amazon best-selling SEO book author that helps you show up higher on Google… without paying for ads. See show …
E113 Jordan Harbinger on ending struggle through action | CPTSD and T…
In this episode, we have a guest speaker Jordan Harbinger. Jordan is a former corporate lawyer who became a master podcaster. Jordan lays out some of the most incredible and practical tools about what it means to create a change …
E109 The Power of Quitting with John Lee Dumas | CPTSD and Trauma Hea…
In this episode, we have a guest speaker, John Lee Dumas. He is an incredible human being, a former officer in the Army, entrepreneur, and host of the number one rated business podcast that I've had the privilege of being …
E108 Who is Michael Unbroken
In this episode, I would love to share my back story with you. I'm going to include the preface to my book Think Unbroken Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma. This is a dive into my background, story, journey, and what's …
E106 Overcoming Addiction Through Yoga with Cole Chance
In this episode, we have a guest speaker Cole Chance. She is a yoga teacher, instructor, and educator who I've known for quite a long time, who actually played a pivotal role in my healing journey. We talk about her …
E50: Being a WARRIOR through childhood trauma with Anthony Trucks
In this episode, I speak with my friend, the unstoppable Anthony Trucks. Listen as we break down how to turn pain into triumph and why becoming the hero of your own story starts with making Shift Happen. Please Rate and …