March 26, 2022

E250: Who do you get your advice from | CPTSD and Trauma Coach

In this episode, I was thinking about this over the weekend as I was reading one of Grant Cardone's books, it's little booklets called the Millionaire Booklet, and his second chapter is titled, where do you get your advice?   We talked...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e250-who-do-you-get-your-advice-from-cptsd-and-trauma-coach/#show-notes


In this episode, I was thinking about this over the weekend as I was reading one of Grant Cardone's books, it's little booklets called the Millionaire Booklet, and his second chapter is titled, where do you get your advice?

We talked about clarity on this show and what it means to make sure that you know exactly what you're moving towards; when it comes to my coaches and mentors in my life, I think about the clarity that I have around. There are many things you have to take into consideration, but you must be mindful.

Today, how do you bring clarity into your life?

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Transcript

Jay-Z has a lyric that I absolutely love.

“People around you telling you how to do it, but they never did it.”

 

What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well, wherever you are in the world today. I was thinking about this over the weekend as I was reading one of Grant Cardones books, it's a little booklets called the Millionaire booklet and his second chapter is titled, Where do you get your advice? And I put it down immediately and I thought to myself that is one of the best questions anyone could ever ask themselves. And the reason why is because where you get your advice matters as much as the advice that you're getting probably more if you really think about it.

There's so many people in the world who want to solicit their understandings of the world and I'm one of those people, like, let's keep it real, like that's who I am, that's what I do, that's what Unbroken podcast is, that's what this show is, that's what the books are, that's what the coaching is, that's what the everything is that think so listen now, the advice in the information that I've learned over the last decade plus to help trauma survivors, learn how to get out of their own way overcome the past, get unstuck and ultimately become unbroken to become the hero of your own story, that is literally what I do all day long, but where do I get my advice? And where do you go to get yours? Right?

So I know you come to me to get yours and so for that I'm super appreciative and grateful, but I think about the quality of the advice and I also think about like, the delivery mechanism and who it is that it comes from because sometimes we go and we seek advice from those who have never done it before, and that's super dangerous, right? There's lot of people who are naysayers. There's a lot of people who are false prophets. There's a lot of people who they have the best intentions in the world, but they should not be guiding you.

We talked about clarity all the time on this show and what it means to make sure that, you know exactly what you're moving towards. Like I think about when it comes to my coaches, and my mentors in my life, the clarity that I have around because, look, here's the truth. I get offered to be in masterminds and groups, and go on trips and join this program and that program and that thing in this thing and I get probably 20 of these a week from different people. And let me be clear because some of these people, I absolutely love and admire and our people, I talked to some on a daily basis, right? But I think to myself this, I am on a parallel track with these people. So what sense does it make for me to go and learn from them when they're learning from the same people I'm learning from? That's one of the things you have to keep in mind. Sometimes you're on a parallel track with someone. It doesn't make sense for you to go and learn from them because if they are like, it's like this, if you guys are passengers in a car together, going in the same direction, right? Then you share that like I have friends that I hit up and I'm like, yo, I hit a roadblock, I have a problem, I need a solution. Do you have any thoughts here? And they'll go, yes, this and I'll go perfect. Thank you. And then there are people where I go, all right, you're built billion dollar businesses. You've coached hundreds of millions of people, you've written multiple best-selling books. You have done all of these things that are moving towards. You are the person that needs to give me the advice that I'm seeking.

Now, of course, we talked about the time effort, energy, money investment in those things, so you got to be willing to put a little skin in the game to get that. And then I think about also in the mental health space, right? I mean, I've been able so fortunate to learn from people like Bessel van der Kolk, and Pete Walker, and Anna Lembke and the list goes on and on and like, more people to come. There are people coming on the show, I can't tell you about yet because haven't released it but there are people coming on this show that you are never going to believe that I've been able to get access to. People that are going to change your life forever because they're changing mine every single day, it's unreal.

And so in this what I want you to think about is where you're going to seek the information that you're consuming because there are so many false prophets, you know, that's a word I've been thinking about a lot recently was thinking about this I'm like, you know what, there's something about a lot of people who unfortunately their inauthentic.

We've talked about this idea of authenticity being the greatest vibration of the Human Experience. And we talked about how some of these people like there are others who are naysayers and all they want to do is negate your idea.

Think about this, how often have you had an idea? And somebody said, oh, you'll never do that, it's too big, it's too complicated. You're not smart enough. No one in your family has done that before. How could you ever? Like that's bullshit to me, that's nonsense. Those people, the only advice I want from them is none. Do not give me anything, if you negative, if you are a naysayer, if you're always looking for why I can't do something I have no space for you at my table. None. I remove you so fast. But then there's also the people that we think have our best interest in mind and a lot of these people do this is what's crazy. A lot of people have your best interest in mind but they live in a state of fear so they never live into their potential and because they never live into their potential they go, Oh, you want to do therapy? That didn't work for me.

Oh, you're doing coaching now? Oh, that's stupid.

Oh, you're reading books? Okay.

I had all of those things happen to me as I've been in this journey.

To people I was super close with and was, is the key word here because I'm no longer super close to those people because I took them out of my life because I was like this makes no sense. I want to be around people that build me up, not knock me down. And so when I think about advice, because I have so much Clarity going to my mission. What is the mission of Think Unbroken? To end generational trauma in my lifetime, through education and information? How do I do that if I'm not around people who are working to end generational trauma? From people who are working to build massive businesses, around people who have major media companies because if I'm not learning from those people, I can't make this come to fruition.

I mean, I probably could just add a lot more time, a lot more difficulty, a lot more money, a lot more failure. And so, when I think about home getting my advice from;

One, is there a symbiosis in already, like are they moving towards or have they done at scale the thing that I'm trying to do? Because if not, then I don't want to be in contact or connection with them.

Two, are they on a parallel track with me?

Because if they are I don't want to go learn from them because chances are they're learning from the people that I'm learning from.

Three, even if they're not, yet that huge super high level, are they just a step ahead of me? Right?

Again, we've talked about this before. Can I be in connection with people who are just a step ahead because they may know something that, I don't know. But I don't want to be around people who aren't even playing the same sport as me. And that's the problem that some of you guys are facing.

You're going to your mother's to find solution.

Your best friend who you've known since you were 12 who you've done the same shit with for 25 years, they don't have the solution.

You're going to college roommates, who hate their job in are miserable in their relationship, they do have the solution.

What you have to do is get crystal clear about what you want.

Find the person that has that thing and then move towards it.

Find the person that has what you want and then go and get in connection with them.

And for a lot of you depending on who that person is that connection might be their books, might be their podcast, might be their audio programs, might be their apps, might be their coaching program, that's online before you ever get into a small group or one-on-one with them, right? It might be years and years away, but you can learn now, your mentors are right here.

You know, I actually only consume information that I use in my business is from a very certain person for my mindset, from a very certain person from trauma perspective I taken a lot because I'll say this, I don't think there's, like one person people will like, move towards Bessel Van Der kolk, but I'm like, I agree with some of his stuff and I don't. Right? And so I kind of pick and choose from in that space so I can learn so much. I mean, I go look at some of the certifications that I have there from all kinds of different proctor's, right? I got a couple from Bessel, I got a couple from Gabor Maté, got a couple from Pete Walker but I look at this and I go, there's so much information in this space and it's still so new like I'm gonna go and collect it all because then I can be that person in seven years, 10 years, 15 years, you know what I mean?

And so there's a lot of things you have to take into consideration, but you must be mindful, you must be mindful because again, as much as people have your best intention in mind and as much as you want to hope that people want to ensure you on. Chances are most people are not that for you. And so, ask yourself. Where am I getting my advice from? And look, you may even be listening to the show right now. And you're like, man, I like 1% of what Think Unbroken is, I'm probably not your guy then, right? But you're here because you're like, oh, well, I'm already in it. You got to be willing to walk away like if you're listening to this show and you're like fuck this show like stop listening. Because you probably need to find that other person who's one step ahead of where you are, who can bring significance to your life in the aspect of the clarity that you have about the mission, right? And if I'm not the guy for you amazing, let's go deeper, read the books, join the app, come to the group, join the Discord when that launches, right? There's so much that you can do here.

And so, I want to be the person who's able to take the most information that I know and understand and distill it down into a palatable and practical way, which I think we do a really good job of that this show. But most importantly, I just want to make sure you're getting your advice from the right people. I've definitely had huge mistakes happen in my life because I didn't have clarity. I lost well over five figures investing into a program with a guy who was a snake-oil salesman, like it happens, it does, as a business owner, like shit pisses me off, but, you know, as a person, I go great. I learned a really, really, really important and expensive lesson, and it made me adjust the quality of my questions. Right?

And so the thing I want you to take into consideration here is with listening the show and what I put out, you know, am I just one step ahead of you? Or have I built that thing that you're trying to move towards? Or am I totally out of sync with everything that you want, or am I on a parallel track with you? Right?

So figure out those questions, figure out what Think Unbroken means to you. I get why you're here and why you're listening and why you ask, who you ask for advice. Because when you bring that much Clarity into your life, you're going to watch things around you change.

So Unbroken Nation, thank you so much for listening.

Please, like, subscribe, comment, share.

Tell a friend.

And Until Next Time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

-I'll see you.

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Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.