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March 24, 2022

E248: How to handle the difficulties of life | CPTSD and Trauma Coach

In this episode, I talk about how to handle life's difficulties. As people who have survived traumatic experiences, we all know that we have faced these incredible difficulties. More often than not, those difficulties have been laid upon us;...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e248-how-to-handle-the-difficulties-of-life-cptsd-and-trauma-coach/#show-notes


 In this episode, I talk about how to handle life's difficulties. As people who have survived traumatic experiences, we all know that we have faced these incredible difficulties. More often than not, those difficulties have been laid upon us; they're not difficulties that we have sought. And because they are laid upon us, we find ourselves using what I will call a phrase that too many trauma survivors use myself included historically, anyway, that I thrive in chaos.

How do you navigate the difficulties of life?

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Transcript

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. - Bruce Lee

Actually included that in the new book Unbroken Man. If you haven't check that out, go to men.thinkunbroken.com

How do you navigate the difficulties of life?

That's one of the cornerstone questions that I think you have to get comfortable with. As people who have survived traumatic experiences, we all know that we have faced these incredible difficulties.

Now, those difficulties more often than not have been laid upon us, they're not difficulties that we have sought, and because they are laid up on us, we find ourselves using of what I will call a phrase that too many trauma survivors use myself included historically, anyway, that I thrive in chaos. You ever said that I thrive in chaos.

What if you didn't have to thrive in chaos?

What if you could thrive in peace, but when chaos approached understood how to navigate it and a healthy sustainable and effective way. That's the truth about this journey, is that chaos is always around the corner. The next thing is always coming, but so many of us because we come from traumatic backgrounds we know how to navigate the painful, hardships of life that are thrown at us. But the ones in which we make the declaration and decision to pursue, we often do not take the first step towards. You ever thought about that? Have you ever thought about how when your life is completely fucking upside down that you're able almost without effort, you know, almost without efforts, you're capable to navigate that shit? But when you make a declaration to yourself about the thing that you want the life, you want to have what you want to build, what you want to create, what you want to move towards, it feels insurmountable and possible.

We've been built to thrive in chaos.

We've been given the tools to handle the difficulties of life.

Now, for many of us that's not by choice, unfortunately. But how many of us are actually using those tools to create the life that we want to have? That's the question you need to ask yourself. Are you using the tools from the difficulties of your experience to create the life that you want to have? Because there's two kinds of difficulties in the world, there's a difficulty bestowed upon us from our environment, from our family, from our careers, from our community, from the life experiences, from our toxic families and then there's the difficulties that we pursue because we know they're going to make our lives better; that showing up thing, that execution and action thing I'm talking about.

Why is it that we don't move towards that difficulty?

The truth is, and this is my truth and that's why I'm sharing this with you today… is that what I discovered in when I used to not move towards those difficulties was very simple, it was very simple. I didn't value myself and I did not think that I was worthy enough to have the life that I wanted to have.

So you need to ask yourself.

Do you value yourself and find yourself worthy enough to have the life that you want to have?

Because if the answer is ‘no,’ then you will continue to thrive in chaos. If the answer is ‘yes,’ then you will look difficulty right in the face and knock, it's fucking teeth out. And that's the really amazing thing that starts to happen and shape your existence when you are willing to acknowledge that you are in control.

So many of us have spent time praying for the easy life.

Please, can it just be easy.

My friends, I hate to say it but I don't know that it ever gets easy quote-unquote if you're not watching on YouTube right now. I don't know that it ever gets easy, but I can tell you that you become better equipped to navigate the difficulties. And in being better equipped to navigate the difficulties the thing that starts to transpire is that you move towards the things that you want with more veracity. Why? Because you've come to realize you're the one driving this boat, this is the red pill, you are the one in control. I choose to move towards difficulty every day. Starts at 5:30 a.m. when my alarm goes off, most days, I beat it up but some days, I don't do my best. I choose to move towards difficulties of physical exertion, of reading the books, of having the coach, of showing up in the careers, of recording the 365 podcast, of writing the book a year until I die, of coaching hundreds of thousands of people, I choose difficulty in my life. I don't pray for easy because when it was easy, my life was a disastrous. 350 pounds, smoking two packs a day, drinking myself to sleep, and letting my trauma own me.

Being the victim is easy. Being the hero requires the willingness to face difficulty and to take the tools that you've been equipped with the face it. Now, of course, there's clarity involved in this, massive action involved in this and trust in yourself that you can deliver what you need to you because you're willing to do it. So, I want you to think about this. Will you be willing to use your tools, all the things that you've suffered through to understand that have shaped your life to instead of continuing to ask for ease, to stand in front of the fire and walk through it towards what you want? Because there's two options in life… You can be the victim or you can be the hero.

Unbroken Nation, thank you so much for listening.

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And Until Next Time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

-I'll see ya.

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Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.