March 17, 2022

E241: Yet | CPTSD and Trauma Healing Coach

In this episode, we talk about the word “YET.” So many of us get caught up in not being who we want to be that we don't put any effort into it. When you understand the power of “YET,” when you understand the power of this word, and I know that...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e241-yet-cptsd-and-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes


In this episode, we talk about the word “YET.”

So many of us get caught up in not being who we want to be that we don't put any effort into it. When you understand the power of “YET,” when you understand the power of this word, and I know that you've heard me speak about it on the podcast before, but I want to bring it back up because it hit home for me recently because I was thinking about the definition of the word “YET”

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-Be Unbroken.

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Transcript

You're not good enough yet. Like that's the truth. You're not good enough yet. You're not where you want to be yet. You're not showing up in life, how you can yet, and that's okay.

What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well, wherever you are in the world today. Thinking about this, as I was coaching someone the other day we were talking about this word “YET.”

So many of us get caught up in not being who we want to be that we don't put any effort into it. When you understand the power of “YET,” when you understand the power of this word, and I know that you've heard me speak about it on the podcast before, but I want to bring it back up because it hit really home for me recently because I was thinking about the definition of the word “YET”

I teach you guys an eventually on a long enough time line, whatever it is that you want, whatever it is that you envision, your life being whoever it is that you are going to be, you have the capability of being when you ask yourself, what am I willing to do to have the life that I want to have? And then you deploy a tremendous amount of patience and this patient applies to life to relationships, personal development of therapy, to growth, to healing the whole nine. But yet we often forget, we forget that we're not there yet and the definition of yet, you know, one of the variations that I love is at a future time or eventually a future time or eventually that means not today.

Look, you're planting seeds today for things that are going to happen in 10, 20, 30 years from now. You've probably heard me say a million times at my goals are 37 years from today, I'm nowhere close to where I want to be, but you show up day in and day out knowing that on a long enough time line if you keep showing up for yourself that you can have that life.

When I started therapy, when I started getting serious about therapy. I remember, just constantly being frustrated, by it constantly being like, why the fuck am I in here? Why do I have to do this? Why don't I have to heal problems that weren't mine to begin with? And I realize, like the truth about it unfortunately, is that so many of us have to go through that and the trauma that we experience as kids like, we carry that shit with us until we're able to let go and you maybe can't let go yet, there's that word again. Maybe today is not the day for you. Maybe it might not come for 20 years, I don't know because it's different for everyone. But I think about the freedom that comes when we go through this journey in this healing process and what it is like to be on the other side of all of this work and there's so much work and it can fill cumbersome, it can feel overwhelming, it can feel like damn, can I just get a break? Like honestly more often than not. And in that it's okay because whatever it is that you're trying to create in your life you're just not there yet. The healing that you're seeking is just not happened yet. The peace, clarity and freedom that you're moving towards, just not there yet but it will be as long as you stay the course.

And I remember having these conversations with one of my therapist and just saying, like, look, I don't want to be here and him reminding me that this process and one of the things that I've shared with you many times, is this lifetime process.

And so, if you can remind yourself that where you are today is not where you're going to be tomorrow. And just simply using today as a measurement for the direction, based on the effort that you've put in.

So often we get caught up in like not being there yet that were paralyzed, that were crippled by it, that were stuck, we lose momentum. You may remember me talking about this really in-depth a couple month ago, and momentum is everything in life and momentum is about can you move forward every single day, continuing to show up as you discover, as you learn, as you grow and ultimately, as you make mistakes because I promise you you're going to and that's okay. But in those, can you learn and we've talked about this.

The number one thing I believe that has helped me in my life and my journey that I believe will help you to is to understand that in to some extent there is practicality in patients. And you've heard me say before that I don't think patience is a virtue, I think it's a skill, it's a skill that must be earned; you earn that skill with yourself through your experiences, through understanding who you are. And as you move through it every single day, it's simply a reminder of looking at where you are today and being okay, with the fact that it's going to take you longer than you believe, to get to where you want.

And if you can reconcile that with yourself and just simply say, I'm not there yet. And instead of beating yourself up instead of kicking yourself when you're down, instead of being like, oh my God, it's never going to happen, just simply being in this moment and saying I'm showing up today, I'm doing the thing I said I was going to do and that moves me closer to my goals, that moves me closer to being the person that I want to be because ultimately, that's where it's going to come to take shape is in those moments of the day to day in which you're showing up.

Think about it in terms of the skills that you've learned.

When you started anything in your life you suck. Like that's the truth about it, like sorry, hate to break it to you. The first time you walked you fucking fell down on your ass I guarantee it, right? Now today it probably happened as frequently, I’m sure it does happen to me but not as frequently and when it does you when it's a reminder, that, you know, we're still learning, we're still in this process of one step forward every single day. And so, if you think about that and you leverage patients in the things that you're trying to accomplish in your life. And for me, like I think about this journey of healing and what it means, and how it is that I show up and it's about fulfillment, it's about happiness, it's about not letting the past dictate who I am, it's about letting go.

And letting go is a phrase that people here quite frequently, but it's truly about this idea of, you know, if you look at your life today, maybe you're holding on to shift from your past, I get it because I've been there, but when you get to this place where you say, you know what, I recognized, it doesn't serve me, it hurts me, it takes away from me and you can let go of that the other side is really beautiful, it's brilliant, right?

And so you're not yet there and that's okay. You don't have to beat yourself up because think about this. What's your measurement? Who are you measuring to determine whether or not you're where you're supposed to be in life? Because I promise you if it's anyone other than yourself then you are playing a losing game. This thing called life. This experience that were having day in and day out. This is a narrative of a you versus you story. We got really want you to think about that, it's very much like literature, this is you versus you. There's nobody else in this game. I think about this all the time if I compared myself to even the people, I am mentored by there is no fucking way I could be here with you right now because I would say or how to look at them go, oh my God, those guys got everything they've got brilliant lives and wives and happiness, and money, and contentment, and joy, and a following in their New York Times, bestselling authors, and they have the best podcast in the world and blah, blah, blah. I'd be fucking crippled. I would not be able to be with you right now, because I would be wallowing in the despair of not being there. But instead I simply look at the measurement of myself versus myself and I ask myself. Did I show up today? Did I do the thing I said I was going to do? Did I push through when it was hard, boring daunting, when it was ugly, uncomfortable when I didn't want to do it did I show up anyway? Because that goal that I have, whether it's in my personal life, my professional life, it doesn't matter, they're not here yet.

And nothing, like I know there are people that look up towards me and to me, excuse me, and think I've accomplished a lot, writing a best-selling book, having this top podcast, speaking on these stages. And I think this is only simply a byproduct of the decisions that I've made about the life that I want to create. I wish I could kind of bottle this up for you guys, I'm just simply living exactly what I teach you every day and I recognize and understand that the path forward to what it is that I'm wanting to create it's just not there yet. But I take a step every day, I laid the brick, as I go, I don't try to have all the bricks at once and carry them with me because it won't work that way and I recognize that I'm gonna have to get more skills. Probably do more therapy, have more coaching, go to more seminars, read more books, I'm probably going to have to do those to get to where I want to go.

And so today, it's just simply measurement of, okay,

did I wake up when I said, I was?

Did I make the bed?

Did I journal?

Did I write?

Did I work on the goal that I move towards, whatever the thing is?

And just keep doing that again and again and again and again and again because ultimately that's it like whatever it is that I want it's just not happening yet and when it does, here's what's interesting this is the mind trick I'm always telling you about when it does happen though greatest part about it is, I'll go cool, that's not actually what the goal was what's next? How do I continue to move forward? You know, it's that 37-year goals, are always 37 years away, it's just arbitrary.

And so today, when you're measuring yourself.

Please, do it against yourself, measure yourself against you. Not me, not anyone else, no one, not your family, your friends, your community, nobody because like if you can't look in that mirror and know that you gave 100% today for the life that you want to create that, you may not have yet but are moving towards that's where the win is. It's in the ins and outs of the moments of every single day that push you towards being who it is that you want to be. And so can you show up as that? Can you be that new live that truth? Can you honor it? Can you just every single day, say yes, I had to go to therapy again, yes, it sucked but I’m keep going because I'm not where I want to be yet.

Yes, I had to read another personal development book.

I listen to another Think Unbroken podcast and I heard the thing 37 times and I'm not where I want to be yet, so I keep consuming it. I study for these tests because I didn't get what I wanted yet, you know, that is the process, it's letting go of the future like here it is, this is freedom to me if I were to summarize it, it's letting go of the unknown future and instead living today as is because you don't know what's going to happen but as long as you show up every day, the chances of you getting what you want, as long as you don't quit are astronomical, it's unbelievable what you can create in 10 years.

So it's about patience, about letting go, it's about showing up, it's about understanding the truth, you're not there yet and that's okay.

Give yourself from fucking grace like seriously, give yourself some Grace, you're not there yet, it's okay, I promise, because guess what? I'm not either neither is anyone else I've ever met. And in fact, anyone who I have met, who's like, I'm where I want to be their life is not that great, right? And you kind of see that from the outside looking in.

So that said, Unbroken Nation, thank you so much for listening.

Of course, I appreciate you greatly.

Please like, subscribe, comment, share.

Tell a friend.

And Until Next Time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

-I'll see you.

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Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.