Feb. 21, 2022

E217: How to Change the Emotional Impact of Trauma with Samantha Mason Vazquez | Trauma Healing Coach

In this episode, I speak with Samantha Mason Vasquez. We will have an incredible conversation about how you change the impact of past experiences in your current life. This episode is really fun for me because I've done things like this before, and I...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e217-how-to-change-the-emotional-impact-of-trauma-with-samantha-mason-vazquez-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes


In this episode, I speak with Samantha Mason Vasquez. We will have an incredible conversation about how you change the impact of past experiences in your current life.

This episode is really fun for me because I've done things like this before, and I get to experience in real-time and, more importantly, get exposed to The Unbroken Nation of some of these techniques that I have personally used that have been life-changing.

I will also say that in this episode, I highly recommend it because there is a practical exercise in real-time she's going to take us through that you find a place where you can sit and pay attention and listen to this episode. The reason why is because it's an exercise where you're going to close your eyes and go through meditation practice; I did it in real-time with her, and to take the most benefit out of this, you don't want to be driving; you don't want to be at the gym, you want to be very present. So that said, that's what I would do if I were you.

Samantha is a Business Coach, Career Coach, and Mindset Coach, Samantha makes her home in Colorado. She finds her joy sharing experiences with her husband and children; extended family and friends. She replenishes her energy and reconnects to nature and her human experience by spending time in the great outdoors. Her heart centered, grounded approach comes from this deep appreciation of the human condition. Samantha specializes in coaching people who want to transform pain from past trauma into wisdom for greater satisfaction in life and for a more balanced and productive experience in their career and professional pursuits.

Focus and listen today because Samantha will bring a tremendous amount of value to your life. You were knowing and looking at the ability that we all have to create a change of meaning like I believe you're going to want to listen to this.

-Be Unbroken

Learn more about Samantha Mason Vazquez, visit: https://modernmind.io/

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Transcript

Michael: Hey! What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well, wherever you are in the world today. I'm very excited to be back with you with another episode with my guest Samantha Mason Vasquez. Samantha, specializes in coaching, people who want to transform pain from past trauma into wisdom for greater satisfaction in life. I love this conversation, I'm very excited to have you here Samantha, what is going on in your world today?

Samantha: Awesome! Thank you so much for having me, Michael. I'm really excited to be here. So I am involved in a lot of different things and my individual coaching practice what really gets me excited to jump out of bed in the morning is, I have come across some really powerful unconscious tools we as beings, we have our self conscious or unconscious or subconscious and what I like to call the super conscious. We have all kinds of names for it, but that spiritual part of us that I believe existed, before we came into a physical body before we decided to come and have this experience as an Earthly human. And we can learn to integrate those three parts of our Consciousness to really activate that living life to the fullest experience, really truly amplifying that satisfaction. And a lot of people don't know what's happening in their unconscious and their unconscious programming from all the bumps in the road that happened along their life are driving their behaviors. So they might say, you know, I wish I had more discipline, I wish I was more consistent and the trouble is we can be as disciplined as we want but if we dealt with those unconscious programs that are underneath that we came and see, they just take us over it's like, we're a tiny little ant and we're sitting on the back of a giant elephant and anything happens that triggers one of those programs and causes them to run underneath everything else in the background that elephant takes off and runs right in the wrong direction. And we become helpless to really be able to make those changes that we want to make in our life. And the cool thing is if you figure out sort of that secret code to integrating those three aspects of yourself, you're self-conscious, you're unconscious and you're super conscious or your inner being, your spirit being if you can bring those together and get them talking and communicating and get them working as a team you can do anything, you can become unstoppable, in pretty much anything you want to pursue in your life, you can create whatever you want and nothing can really hold you back because that elephant is now with some rains and you're driving it in the direction you want it to go. You're actually this little ant, but you're steering the elephant versus the elephant just going wherever it's going to go. I'm really excited to bring that that body of knowledge to people.

Michael: Yeah. And look, I think it's super important, I know that there is space here where people will go, this feels a little heady, or a little woowoo, which I recognize and I get that, and that's okay, but I think more importantly, is recognizing, there are some truth to this. I look at my life and I think the most important thing I've ever done for myself, personally was like recognized, wow, I'm the one actually in control of everything that happens. But as you know, with me being a trauma coach, and educator in the space and you working very similar way, real people feel so tied to and step towards not only their identity, but these past experiences and they feel like who am I to go and have this amazing life when I've had all this suffering? And so what I'm really curious about is like how do you start to create some acceleration towards having the life that you want to have while kind of dealing with the juxtaposition of having these traumatic experiences?

Samantha: Yeah. I really truly believe through personal experience since that it starts with having a really, really well-formed meditation practice. And to me, meditation is very much a skill it's something very similar to learning, to play the piano or learning to play the violin or learning how to swim whatever you want to pull up as an example. It's very much something that you don't know how to do, and you can learn how to do it and there's many many exercises that you can do in meditation, it's not simply, you know, sitting and emptying your mind, there's a lot more to it. And you can play many different styles of piano, you can be a different type of swimmer, there's not one way, but there are ways that are very effective, there's tools that are very effective.

And I teach my clients, I do guided meditation with them in my coaching practice, in my coaching studio, if you will. I will give them different tools every time they come in and let them practice it on their own. And one of the things that I do is I've created something called be the hero of your own story and that really involves going into Flow State, which many of us know what that feels like to be in flow, and to kind of reach those deeper levels of consciousness where your energy shifts a little bit. And, you know, you have to sit and focus on your breath, allow your thoughts and feelings to be like little fish in your aquarium and float by and not attach yourself to them, just notice them start to recognize a separation between you and your thoughts and feelings know that they are not you, they're sharing space with you. And you can be aware of them, but you don't have to necessarily follow the fish all the way to its journey, you can stay focused on your breath, stay centered where you are and just be present with yourself. And if you do that for 15 minutes or so, and, I know that probably sounds, you know, a lot of really overwhelming to people who don't practice meditation regularly currently, but you work your way up to that you start with two minutes and the next day, maybe try three and just add a few minutes, every so often until you get to the point were that fifteen minutes is staying with your breath is totally doable because you've practiced just like you learn a piece on the piano, you learn to play the notes.

So once you get into that deep Flow State, you feel that shift in your energy, you may be inspired to visit a version of yourself in a previous place in your timeline in your imagination certainly, we're not suggesting that there's actual real time travel happening here, but you can have this experiences if it's very real and you can go visit yourself at 16 years old and you can have a conversation with that version of you. And I did this, for example, in one meditation that I had a pretty significant money block because when I was 16 years old, I've been putting my paychecks in the bank, week after week after week I've been putting them in the bank and I thought I've amassed a pretty decent amount money over a period of a year not touching my money at all. And, you know, I decided to take my little paper bank ledger, I'm dating myself here and go into the bank and talk with the teller and find out exactly how much I'd saved up and what I discovered is that there was zero money in the bank. And as we all know at a certain age, you have to have someone as a cosigner on your account because you're not old enough to have bank account, without some type of guardian overseeing it to make sure you're being responsible with your money and not doing anything you shouldn't do. However, my cosigner on my account, just took the money and ran if you will, and that placed an unconscious belief in my subconscious mind, that I discovered many years later as I was listening to T. Harv Eker, the author of The Millionaire Mind. He was talking about unconscious beliefs that drive our money behaviors and I realized suddenly that I had not ever amassed at a sum of money above that amount that I made before my money was taken as a sixteen-year-old, and that was really a shock, oh my gosh that's what's driving my money behavior, that's why I can never get ahead. And so I went into this meditation and I went back and visited myself as a sixteen-year-old and I said, you know what? We're going to take a field trip, we're going to walk from the drugstore where you work across the street to the bank where you keep your money, and I'm going to give you some instructions. So in my imagination, I walked across the street went into the bank with my 16 year old self and I stood there as the hero for her to help her through this process and I said, I need you to take all the money out, and I need you to hold it and just stand here and hold it and don't think too much about how much money is here. There's someone going to walk through that door and just a few minutes, and when they come through the door, I want you to give them all this money and I want you to tell them, you need this more than I do I want you to have it and there's no strings attached, it's not alone. And so when I saw that figure come through the door that figure had aged, you know 30 years from the original event and they broke down crying and my 16 year old self handed them the money and that was kind of the end of the the conversation but what I noticed since then is that the energy around that memory was completely different.

I took my power back and I was able to truly forgive what happened and release it for release that energy from my conscious and I don't have those thoughts that come into my mind that say, you know what, if I still have that money, I could have invested in Bitcoin and I'd be a billionaire by now; those thoughts don't plague me anymore, they're gone and I was able to kind of just free myself from that energy. And two weeks later this is the miracle of all miracles that same individual that walked through that door and broke down crying, gave me $40, which is unbelievable, that could possibly even happen and said to me, I want you to have this money because of everything you've done for me as a thank you, it's not alone, I just want to give it to you. That person's never ever given me anything of any significance in $40 is a small amount of money, of course, but that transaction it was like it really confirms for me, that something powerful on an energetic level had happened and I didn't tell that story to anybody that it could have gotten back to that person. But it was like a confirmation for me that I was moving in the right direction and I did exactly what I needed to do to free myself from this. And it's been a really powerful transformation for me, for my life, and just changing my perspective and how I see things.

And, you know, the other part of the story is that person that walked through that door aged forward, 30 years was a survivor of cancer, was a survivor of heart disease, we hold our negative emotions in our body and they create disease processes. So that money very well might have been, what was needed to keep that person a life and whether they did it the right way or not, the outcome, that was meant to happen; happened.

Michael: Yeah, that's really fascinating me. And I think that I've been trying to go through and I can't formulate it yet but I'm working through this. This idea that there is even money trauma that is a part of our childhood experience that does lead you to that place of being blocked and recently on a show, I was talking about the fact that you I was 20-something years old making well over six figures and deep in debt, which, you know, it makes no sense until you recognize the causation of those experiences that become blocking you and it wasn't a natural sitting meditation in which I recognized that I was trapped in debt because of past experiences but instead during a yoga class, which is really crazy to me, right? Because I have this moment of coming to a realize, like wait a second and that felt to me like starting to go through this process of really tapping into and doing this in her work because those memories, like – even though they impact us, and this has been my experience it feels like those don't have to be the precursor for everything that's next. I want to step into this a little bit deeper because I know that there are people listening and they'll hear your story and my whole story, and go, well how the hell does meditation change your life? And I don't think it's as simple as that. What I often think about is like it is this planting of a seed in our subconscious that then I guess I want to say along that timeline just it's the kind of become a domino effect like does that resonate with you? And if so talk me through that.

Samantha: Absolutely. And you know, we can substitute that word meditation with yoga. There is really no like I said, there's many different ways of achieving that shift in your energetic sort of your emotional energy and getting into a deeper place and being able to connect with your inner being, your super conscious field of information where all of your memories can be accessed. It's really finding whatever works for you to get into that deeper Consciousness and have access to plant those seeds because you have to go in there, you have to go into and it's not going into your memories so much as it is going into yourself, going into a deeper place within yourself, where those memories are more accessible and the energy tied to those memories is more accessible if that makes sense but yes, I agree with you 100%.

Michael: Yeah, I mean it totally makes sense. But I feel like and I'd love to dive into this a bit more that people feel trapped and reliving those memories in a way that now kind of shapes their entirety, their experience, their everything, and I feel like we don't have to do that, right? And what is that process? How do you how do you move through this place? Because like look what I hear in that moment for you as you go, I'm actually not going to relive this anymore, I'm going to remove it from my experience but as someone who has been trapped, let me be very clear about that it was me also discovering like wait a second, maybe that's not true. And if that's correct, and if you believe the same like how does one go through that process to instead of reliving those memories to I guess let go would be the word I want to use?

Samantha: Well, not to be accused of being too woo-woo, but how would you feel about me demonstrating one of my tools to my coaching tools. Okay, so I'm gonna help you get into Flow State, just a little bit, so I typically close my eyes, I don't know if that's something you feel comfortable doing here but if you're okay with it, we can both together close our eyes and I'll just walk you through step-by-step everything that I'm going to do before I do it. So you are full disclosure, you know exactly where we're going. So I'll have you just use your imagination and just form a ball of energy between your hands and like anything you want it to look like it can be a feeling, it can be a color, it can be kind of just feel like an energy so I've had people tell me and I feel like I'm holding a tiny universe in my hands and whatever comes up in your imagination is fine. So, I have you form a ball of energy, our hands instinctively we know when we're a little kid and we fall down, we bump our elbow, we put our hand to that pain, because our hands actually have healing sort of just healing energy that's innately part of our physiology. And so when you when you put your hands together and you imagine that you can form this healing ball of energy. I'll just have you form it and then use your imagination to imagine that ball of energy can connect you, with all of the material that exists in the world from blow you the ground underneath your feet and then connect you energetically with what holds all of that together, the energy that holds physical space together and creates this construct of time. And so, once you're connected completely and you're able to really ground yourself in your body then I will have you kind of bring that ball of energy into what I call the heart space, your chest cavity and just use your imagination and imagine that it can absorb into your body and just go spread out into thousands of little fragments and just go on a seeking and finding mission and find the place in your body where maybe there's some tension, maybe there's something that you're trying to solve or your struggling with what you're finding is resistance that's holding you back between you where you are currently and that desired reality that you're creating, maybe that next step, the audience that you're trying to build or just the the level of impact that you want to have, you want to take it next level and maybe there's some resistance there that is holding you back, maybe there's self-doubt, maybe there's, you know, some type of chaos that's coming up in your world in some way. Wherever that is in your body, just have that healing ball of energy, just go through your veins, your pulmonary system, your nervous system and your imagination and find that place of tension in your body and then you can just take a finger, whichever hand you prefer and just place it at the center of that tension wherever it is and just sit with it, use your imagination to imagine that it could be another being this feeling isn't you, maybe it's an alien creature, just a little black fuzzy creature that just crash landed on Earth and it's showing up in your space. And why it's important to use your imagination to create an avatar? Is because beginning to recognize your feelings are not you there are separate from you, they're not defining you and they're, not your identity it's just an experience you're having in the moment and you facing your feelings, facing that physical manifestation of an emotion is the most traumatic difficult hard thing that a human ever faces is facing our feelings, are feelings of something in the past that we didn't want to experience it was hard, the feeling of experiencing something in the future that we anticipate will be bad. We can have trauma from something that hasn't even happened yet based on our perception, and how we go through that experience. So, facing that feeling, I think that it's separate from you and just expressing unconditional, love, acceptance, and allowing to that feeling that feeling has showed up today, to bring new wisdom, I accept the message, and I'll set it free, I'll allow that feeling to transform grow wings, and just fly. And so, once you've gone through that, process of expressing unconditional, love, and acceptance, I'll have you hold a ball of liquid in each of your hands, a clear ball of liquid it doesn't drip, it don't lose any volume, it just kind of sits there holds its tension. Like your hand is a tiny leaf, and there's a drop of dew on each hand and as you hold these balls of liquid in your hand and your left hand, I'll have you download everything, every thought, feeling, you don't have to follow them, you just notice that it's there and you download it into this ball of liquid and just allow it to float in there. And then in your right hand, you know, so this ball of liquid in your left hand represents everything that you're experiencing, that you don't want everything that's happening that you would prefer not to have happen, your undesirable experience, that resistance that's standing in your way. And then on your right hand, I'll have you download everything that you do want and get into the feeling of already having it right now, it's already here, it's already happened, it's real, download it into that right hand. And then, as you hold them, both one in your left hand, and one in your right hand, I'll have you look back one step behind in your life and find that version of you that created this left hand reality version of you that wanted this, that wanted to be at this level of audience that you have, that wanted to have this level of impact that you currently have, whatever is that version of you created this and maybe you feel stuck here, but that version of you got you here. So you'll go back, express gratitude and appreciation to that version of you that created this and then bring that version of you with you and as you get back into the feeling of having it all being in this right hand reality, take that old version of you and just help them be an observer and watch you have a conversation with that version of you in the future, that already has it all, that version of you, that created the desired reality that you want it's in your right hand. And I'll have you step into the body of that person that already has it all, that's already created it; it's already in their life it's normal, it's their everyday experience.

And then coming back to your field, your frame of experience, go into your mind and will create a landscape, will create an imaginary landscape and we will see all of this left hand reality resistance in that landscape. And the right-hand version of you will help you connect with your inner being, you're super conscious, being the part that spirit being of you that has access to all of this data and doesn't judge it is good or bad and just ask it to tag and treat all of those left hand experiences, all of those bowl tournament objects will turn them into artifacts, and we'll just tag and treat each one of them in the perfect way and in the perfect order and remove them from your conscious experience. And once we do that, then we will just release that energy back into the outer reaches of the universe back into the Matrix and just set it free because it came to give you a message, it came to share something with you that you needed at some point, but it's no longer necessary anymore because you've outgrown it. So it's like coming to that realization, that that left hand reality that I'm experience that pain, that struggle, that I'm stuck, that block, whatever that block is for you, that it was actually a necessary step to get you ready to become the person that could create this right-hand reality and that without it you wouldn't have the tools that you need to be this unstoppable force that you are becoming.

So it's just growing a sense of gratitude, and appreciation for all of your experiences throughout your whole timeline and not reliving them but knowing that they left something behind for you, they gave you a piece of wisdom, they gave you a piece of just deeper character that made you just much more capable of becoming a high performer or becoming the world changing person impact that you are becoming that's part of this right-hand reality that you're creating that's coming from a deeper place within you that you're being called to do. Does that make sense?

Michael: Yeah, it's beautiful and I love it. And you know, the thing that I always bring to mind that's been so incredibly impactful, like even in this moment, going through that exercise with you is this consummate reminder that we are the sum total of all of our experiences leading up to this moment. And you know, even though I can recognize and I know from my own experience that life often does not feel that this holds true and wouldn't retrospect and when you measure your experience, I find that it does that in fact, life is happening to give you the tools to go to where you want to go, to go to where you need to go. And you know, of course you can always have the conversation that life is not fair, well, maybe it is, maybe it isn't but I think we are the arbiter of that we dictate whether or not that holds true. And I found that one of the most impactful things in my journey in my experience, you know, now over 11 years of just daily, trying to become the version of me that I know I need to be is multiple fold, but probably most importantly letting go; letting go of all those things that hold you back. And one of the things I do when I journal each day, there's a question that I asked myself, I said, who do I need to become to be a man of of honor, to be an agent of change and to be a leader? And what's really fascinating about that is sitting in this every single day and going, I'm not yet that person, but the person I was yesterday has helped me become closer to that person. And one of the things, speaking of timelines that I think is really fascinating, is letting go of any reality of the construct of time, being the determining factor of whether or not I find success. And what I really enjoyed about that meditation and going through that process with you just now is just having this experience of this constant reminder like, we are only here right now, right? And I think that we can get so caught up in all the experiences of life that we kind of forget that. One of the things I want to ask you because I think it will be practical important, what I would say to The Unbroken Nation, listening is to go back and listen to that part with Samantha again and do that a couple of times, do it in a place of comfort, do it in a place where you can sit down and really enjoy it because I know you might be driving or at the gym, you know, I'm sitting here in my office, eyes closed, going through the process and it's more practical that way. What would you say to people who are so incredibly resistant to everything that just took place?

Samantha: Well, I would say they're probably afraid of what they're capable of and it would be really important to really think about why and what's the thing that they're afraid to do that they really need to do in their life. What is the thing that they don't want to do this in her work because they might have a huge responsibility, because there might be a whole audience inside out there that they are the only person that can bring this vital message to that they have all the keys to unlock that other audience’s superpowers, and, and just help them live up to their true potential; that responsibility is really big. I mean, staying on the couch, you know, going to work, going home, just doing the same cycle over and over and over in some ways, even though it's numbing and it can feel empty, it's a little easier than actually going deep getting really really clear about who you are and why you're here finding what you really love to create that life that you're meant to have, right? Being the primary creative force in your own life, living according to your true nature and purpose and being only a healthy and vital being that feels incredibly energized everyday, waking up without your alarm clock needed because you have been doing this in her work and you're unlocking, all of these physiological systems in your body, to really activate you and get you living not only to your true potential in terms of your actions, but also just having the physical vitality to do it, that's a lot of responsibility, that's a huge thing to take on to say, yes, I'm going to live that way, and I'm going to leave a huge legacy, activating your voice and being heard and telling your story is not for the faint of heart, it's something that it takes a lot of courage. And so I would encourage anyone who's resisting this and saying, you know, I'm not ready for that, that's not for me, what better day than today just start because, you know, nobody's promised, nobody's promise tomorrow, why not live up to your best life and live it every day.

Michael: Yeah, I agree. And I think unfortunately part of it is coming back to this idea about conditioning is so many of us telling us we should settle, we should be happy, we should be satisfied. And I think that's actually a very dangerous way to look at the world, because there's so much abundance, there's so much available to you and I don't even mean just like from a financial perspective, like that's whatever but joy, happiness, love, compassion, empathy and all those other things. And I think, it really is this process of not only reprogramming your mind, but also your body, you look the changes of state in your neurology and your biology and there's something to that and you mention that and I would love for you to go a little bit deeper into that. And how can people notice whether or not they are having state changes, or what can they do to get to state changes? And then the other side of it is, what would someone need to do to really start to tap into the next level of their life?

Samantha: Yeah, that brings to mind an experiment that was done with little children in a lab with marshmallows I don't know if you remember this study, but they did a longitudinal study with children and they told the kids, if you let this marshmallow sit there and you don't eat it, you just sit there with the marshmallow and you wait there's going to be a lab scientist that's going to come in a few minutes and I don't know if they call them a lot of scientists they probably call it something else for the sake of the child. But this individual is going to come in and if you wait long enough, they're going to come in and give you another marshmallow but if you eat the marshmallow, you won't get another marshmallow and it's very similar to that with meditation in that you really have to just be very patient and you have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and you have to be willing. it's like how important is this to you? How much do you want it? How much do you want to really connect with yourself? Because once you start, once you unlock this, you will be transforming yourself and you will be able to create your identity versus, you know, just being dragged along by an identity that was created by the people that shaped you as a child, maybe they were doing a good job, maybe they weren't. And so when you have that mentality of I'm going to show up for myself every single day and I'm gonna stretch this time out, I'm going to sit across from that, you know, metaphorical marshmallow and wait, the surprises and the amazing things that can happen and you know, show up every day for yoga class I mean, however, you get there, you can say I'm going to climb a mountain and I'm gonna go all the way to the top even when my feet tell me I'm not climbing anymore, it's so many ways to get there and to reach that energetic transformation, but it's all about quiet and listening regardless of how you get there whether you get there through meditation or yoga or mountain climbing. I mean, there's so many ways it's really about being willing to go all the way, go the distance. And when you do that, the reward is so incredible that you'll just be so glad that you did, it's hard to even put it into words.

Michael: Do you think there's a measurement from a biological perspective that people can kind of hold onto as they're climbing that metaphorical mountain? There are indicators or their markers, because I think, one of the things we often miss out our, like – the small victories and the process, the little things that kind of get us to where we're going and so what I'm wondering about because I firmly believe that people quit way too early people stopped, like when they're right there it's like if you just kept going one more day, one more moment, one more action, one more activity it might have been the one, right? But I think people give up because they don't have the winds, they don't have the support, they don't have the systems, they don't have the indicating factors that say, hey, you know what? You're actually on the right trajectory. What if anything can people look for in that process to really, I guess, keep going?

Samantha: Yeah, I think certainly when you show up, we put signals out there, we put radio signals out there and you know, you can't see the information that's going from your cell phone to another cell phone, you can't see it but you know it's there and the same thing happens with our energetic frequency within us when we show up for ourselves and we get quiet and we really allow ourselves to into that deeper state of Consciousness and get into, what's described as Flow State there will be an answer, there will be an echo back from out there. I mean you might be hiking and suddenly a bird that your favorite color, just shows up on a branch and just makes a noise and it's like, keep going, you have to look for those little tiny signals that are being radioed back to you from everything out there that exists, maybe someone calls you on the phone and says, hey, I was just thinking about you and it's a confirmation that you're doing what you need to do, you will get that return back, you will hear that echo back and it may not be from your mom and dad, it may not be from your brother or your sister. You may not have the kind of support system that brings your family together and maybe separating yourself from the people that are you know, keeping you in a toxic structure and keeping you in a sort of an identity that isn't really what you want to create for yourself, maybe creating a little distance between you and the people that aren't echoing back those messages that are really going to help you keep going is the step that you need to take. So it's like not only paying attention to those good radio frequencies, being really tuned in with your body and feeling when a radio frequency is coming back, that's saying, you know, this is something thing I need to move away from, you feel it in your gut when something is kind of not meant for you and when something is meant for you and tuning into that sense and paying attention to it and just really following what you think is the right sort, right fork in the road, when you come to it and not, not taking everything as I have to absorb this, I have to allow this to happen making conscious aware decisions on what to move away from and what to move towards will help you start to build a better support system, find better friends, find a mentor that is two steps ahead that's closer to where you're going and build a connection with that person and ask them, can I be on your calendar once a month, things like that? It's about you being very deliberate and intentional about creating the experience that you truly want to have.

Michael: I could not agree more. One of the things that I'm sitting here thinking about in real time is rewinding myself to 11 years ago and prior and being in these moments in which I did nothing, my life is such a different picture than it was then like it's not even on the same camera, you know what I mean? And in that looking at in measuring the activities of my life to where I am today, based on really so much of what you just said in like, I literally couldn't agree more like you gave people the exact tools that they need however, what I'm curious about here, especially since you and I are very similar field is looking at and understanding human behavior and until I can find a way for what I'm about to say to be wrong, I'm going to hold on to it. My hope and goal is to find a way to make this wrong because ideally, I think that becomes the solution for everything that's next for people, but how does someone step into this type of massive change in their life while mitigating the risk of a rock bottom? Because historically not only through my own experience, but through clients and people have worked with and just other people who I feel are very much in the personal development space I've yet to find someone who was able to mitigate the risk of rock bottom to create massive change in their life? And so what I'm wondering here, Samantha and maybe you could be the first, but what can we do to mitigate that moment of like, holy shit, our backs in the wall, I've destroyed everything, if I don't change, now, it's game over?

Samantha: Yeah, so I honestly believe and this is just through my personal experience that it's absolutely necessary to hire a coach that can be at that wall with you and kind of be that outside voice to give you the support to start walking on a new path, once that path, that you've all that you've ever known your whole entire life is destroyed. I'm not going to say that people can't make massive change without a coach and you can substitute a different word; that word coach has many connotations and people interpret it in many different ways. You really need to have some type of sounding board and someone who's already walked your new path before that can give you just a little bit of take a step, take a step, take a step and here is a tool, and here is something that worked for me and here's something I found that lots of other people in my network have used, and it's worked for them. It's really difficult and especially, if you still have emotional attachments to a toxic support system to make these changes and stick with it long enough for it to really last, it's like they say, 21 days to make it habit, I don't think that's universally true. I think it's different for every single person but there is a time, lag, it doesn't happen. Okay, I'm going to do this meditation and all of a sudden, my life is going to change forever, and I'm never going to have this problem ever, again.

It's like learning how to cope with that problem in a more effective way that's going to help you just totally take off and leave it behind because basically just figured out the you've figured out the Rubik's Cube for it that makes sense? So having having someone in the physical world, that's constant voice it's showing up for you every week, helping you go into that place within you, but also keeping you somewhat tethered to a positive healthy support system. And you have to use your guidance system that I talked about earlier to figure out, who that coach or that mentor needs to be for you. You have to listen to the signals how does it feel when you're talking to this person and maybe you outgrow them, maybe you don't stay with them for 12 months, maybe you outgrow them after two or three months, be willing to make that change. Find someone who is able to keep going forward with you, and take you to the next level and the next level, and the next level as fast as you're able to go as fast as you're willing to go. Does that make sense?

Michael: Yeah. I love that. And I often reflect on, kind of the beginning of this journey for myself and if I could do anything differently, I would have hired a coach first before, I did any personal development before I read it any spend any money on conferences, even probably I debate this often, but perhaps, even before therapy because it wasn't until I got with someone who to your point, was just a step ahead of me did I really see a shift happening? And I think that like, living a life where you have guidance and you have support and you have somebody right here for you, (a) not only helps you feel less alone, but (b) as a reminder, like if they did it you can too, right? And I think that's one of the most amazing things about the Human Experience. Samantha, this conversations been absolutely incredible before I can ask you my last question, can you tell everyone where they can find you?

Samantha: Absolutely. So I have a website called modernmind.io and I actually have a group of coaches that I work with that I helped match with company’s organizations, groups individuals, entrepreneurs to help find that energetic match, that energetic connection and I can also be found on Facebook, and then I'm also on I'm on Instagram, my tag is @modernmindcoach

Michael: Awesome! And of course, we'll put all those in the show notes and on the website at thinkunbrokenpodcast.com. Samantha my friend my last question for you is what does it mean to you to be unbroken?

Samantha: To me to be unbroken is to be unstoppable and to realize that I'm creating my reality every single day, every single moment, I am creating my reality and I'm able to make shifts in my beliefs, in my values, in my definitions of myself those Carl Jung, identified a bunch of things like I'm not enough, I don't have the capacity, I'm not worthy, I don't belong. I can be the master of those thoughts that everybody experiences at one time or another and taking charge and being the master of my thoughts and feelings is freedom and that is what is being unbroken to me.

Michael: Beautifully said, my friend. Thank you so much for being here.

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Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.

Samantha Mason Vazquez Profile Photo

Samantha Mason Vazquez

Founder of Modern Mind

A Business Coach, Career Coach, and Mindset Coach, Samantha makes her home in Colorado. She finds her joy sharing experiences with her husband and children; extended family and friends. She replenishes her energy and reconnects to nature and her human experience by spending time in the great outdoors. Her heart centered, grounded approach comes from this deep appreciation of the human condition. Samantha specializes in coaching people who want to transform pain from past trauma into wisdom for greater satisfaction in life and for a more balanced and productive experience in their career and professional pursuits.

Samantha’s lifelong love of learning has led to several university degrees and accreditations in psychology, communication, technology and coaching. She carried these passions into her career, dedicating herself to understanding the training needs of organizations and helping individuals learn what they need to know to be successful in their workplaces. She been focused for more than a decade on creating coaching and development programs to emerging startups and corporations.