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Feb. 12, 2022

E208: Goals without Actions are just Pipe Dreams | Trauma Healing Coach

E208: Goals without Actions are just Pipe Dreams | Trauma Healing Coach

In this episode, I am ready to have a conversation with you thinking about something that; even I still struggle with, and that is the reality that our dreams don't come true unless we make our dreams come true. I believe that trauma healing is a...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e208-goals-without-actions-are-just-pipe-dreams-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes


In this episode, I am ready to have a conversation with you thinking about something that; even I still struggle with, and that is the reality that our dreams don't come true unless we make our dreams come true.

I believe that trauma healing is a process that you will be on every day till the day you die. And when you're in this, you're on this path; you're going forward, you're growing, your healing, you're showing up, you're changing, and you're hitting these goals. The only way to go to the next level is to push yourself. Face your fear.

Did you know that it is not enough to think positively?

Did you know that no matter how much you want to wish your life into existence that it's just not going to happen?

Did you know there is no Disney moment, and no one is coming to save you?

So, Unbroken Nation!

Come and Listen Now!

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Transcript

Did you know that it is not enough just to think positive?

Did you know that no matter how much you want to wish your life into existence that it's just not going to happen?

Did you know there is no Disney moment and no one is coming to save you?

---

What's up, Unbroken Nation! I hope that you're doing well.

Kind of fired up today, ready to have a conversation with you thinking about something that; even I still struggle with and that is the reality that our dreams don't come true unless we make our dreams come true.

I wrote down a goal recently, I said, I want to be a New York Times bestselling author. When I wrote down that goal, I wrote it down every single day for probably about seven months before I ever wrote anything. And what hit me, the difference between just simply writing down that goal and hoping for the best which has been my character trait for a very long time.

The difference between just writing that goal down and actually, finally doing something about it was I realized something when I was listening to Seth Godin, I don't know if you know, Seth Godin. Seth Godin is a marketing master, mind genius like probably most influential people in marketing in the last hundred years. He was talking about this idea that if you want to show people your good work, you have to first have a lot of really, really, really bad work, and I was like shit, that's interesting. You have to have the bad work because the first time you do something, you're never going to have proficiency, and I remember sitting there writing this down, be a New York Times bestselling author. Hoping it was going to happen, but I hadn't written any books. I was barely writing in my blog at that time, I wasn't taking writing classes, I wasn't going to seminars or conferences that writers go to, I wasn't learning about publishing, I wasn't figuring out how to structure content in a way that's practical for people, but I kept writing the goal every day.

Being New York times bestselling author.

Being New York times bestselling author.

Doesn't work like that.

Think about the goals that you have in your life. Like you can go to all the personal development conferences, listened to all the podcasts, have all the conversations in your head and in your journal and on your goals about what you want to do, but unless you put in a tremendous, unbelievable amount of effort; it's just not going to happen.

So after about seven months of writing every single day, I'm being around, best-selling author. And I actually there's a photo if you go way, way way, way back in my Instagram of when I started doing it again about four years ago, with intention behind it. So Think Unbroken, my first book came out in 2019, I started writing that book in 2018 and I started writing that book every single day after writing the goal. I want to be in New York Times bestselling author. Because it dawned on me (a) I had to do the bad work, like I'm not going to lie to you, I'm going to look back on Think Unbroken in 25 years, that was the bad work, you probably know this. I do not yet have the distinguished honor of being a New York Times bestselling author. I don't not yet, I will. Might be 17 years from now, I have no idea but I will.

And so here's what I want you to think about.

You're in this position, where you can write your goals all day long.

You can have them all day long, but dreams without action are just pipe dreams.

Dreams without action or not realistic.

Dreams without fucking forcing yourself to do really uncomfortable shit, every day, they're just dreams. You know, I've been in the fortunate position to coach some amazing human beings and watch them change their lives. I watch one of my clients go from this place in their life where they were terrified to speak their mind, to putting up boundaries that have now shaped a change that forever will carry weight in their future in all aspects of their life. But when I work with them, it's beautiful, because I always see them growing always, see them in another level, I will see them going to the next place because he sat down day one, I said, what do you want? And a lot of people, they kind of have vague idea about what they want. Oh! I want to be happy, I want to heal from trauma, blah blah blah, right? I'm not being dismissive, let's be clear about that. And she goes, I want to be better at telling people, no, I said cool, just tell people no, all right, that'll be ten thousand dollars and I'm being crass. But the reality is that was her goal, said I want to be better at telling people, no. My life is getting completely obliterated by always bending myself to other people because when I was growing up, I was told I'm not allowed to set boundaries and have to do what would parents tell me to do. A lot of us carry that; that was me for a long time as well.

To hear her story now, when we talk when she's in coaching sessions with me, when we come together. We talk about her journey, it's unbelievable because she's a completely different person. I tell her all the time ago, you are not the same person that walked into this conversation with me on day one, you're not and that means progress. Yeah, I don't even recognize you, because you've grown that much, but that's what it takes effort, takes energy, takes action to turn your dreams into reality, right?

The same goes to healing like, people are always like, man, I want to heal trauma.

I read your book. Great! That's not enough.

I went to the course. Great! That's not enough.

I lost 20 pounds. Great! That's not enough.

This journey is about showing up every single day.

It's not enough because you can't do something one time and expect your life to be different. You cannot do something, honestly, I think even five times and expect your life to be different. It's got to be an in and out, day in day out, repetition all the time forever. You guys have heard me say this before, I believe that trauma healing is a process that you're going to be on every single day till the day you die. And when you're in this and you're on this path, and you're going forward, and you're growing and your healing, your showing up and you're changing, and you're hitting these goals. The only way to go to the next level is to push yourself. Face your fear. You've heard me talk about fear so many times, you have to face it. You have to be willing to stare it, nakedly in the face ago I'm afraid; this goal, holy shit I can't even believe I wrote that; that doesn't seem like me because every single time that you do you write that goal and then you move towards that person that you believe you are, the most incredible thing is going to happen and that is called confidence. You're going to build yourself.

I'm telling you in the same way that five years ago I was writing, be a New York Times bestselling author and nothing fucking happened, is this the same thing that's happening to you today? Because you're letting fear be in your way about whatever it is that you want in your life. See, you got to give yourself permission to have the life that you want to have. You're not going to get it for me. You're not going to get it from other people, it's all going to come from yourself.

So when you start writing your goals, you have to have massive action behind them because if you don't, they're not just goals, they're just pieces of thought that you put on paper to make you feel good about yourself for a moment. And then you're going to come back and you're going to look at that goal, and then you're going to feel like shit because you did nothing to attain it.

Look, I still have goals right now that I'm writing, where am I? I'm not even remotely close like I told you the picture that I painted for my life 30 years from now, looks nothing like my life today, but I just move forward a little bit every day, a little bit every day, little bit every day, and that's how this works.

You think that you have to write this goal and have it today?

You think that you can write this goal and suddenly life's going to be different but it's going to take you longer than you think it's going to take you.

So be willing not only to write it, to face it, but to show up for it because when you do, your life is going to be different.

I'm leaving this as a marker to myself in some sense because I'm going to come back to this episode. I'm gonna come back to this episode one day.

I'm like – this is when I told the world I'm going to be a New York Times bestselling author.

This is when I told the world, my truth, when I write something down, I move towards it until it happens. Might take 17 years, I'm releasing my third book not a New York Times bestselling author yet, right? That's okay. Might be book, 24 doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is reaching the goal, showing up every day and valuing myself for who I am in the moment that I'm moving forward.

So as you had in today, my friends just want you to think about this.

Are your dreams pipe dreams or are your dreams going to become reality because you're willing to put in the work?

It's the most difficult question you might ask yourself today.

So, Unbroken Nation, thank you so much for listening and thank you for leaving the reviews.

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Thank you for being here.

Thank you for listening, Unbroken Nation.

And Until Next Time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

-I'll see you.

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Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.