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Jan. 28, 2022

E193: The Power of Vulnerability Integrity and Sacrifice with Nate Bailey | Trauma Healing Coach

In this episode, I have an amazing conversation with my great friend Nate Bailey. Nate is just a phenomenal human being who has transformed his life and a lot of people and helped them and how to be vulnerable, show up for themselves, lead their life,...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e193-the-power-of-vulnerability-integrity-and-sacrifice-with-nate-bailey-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes


In this episode, I have an amazing conversation with my great friend Nate Bailey. Nate is just a phenomenal human being who has transformed his life and a lot of people and helped them and how to be vulnerable, show up for themselves, lead their life, and ultimately be able to stand in confidence with them who they are.

One of the things that I love about being able to do Think Unbroken is having conversations like this because even from me, they impact me like Nate's words made me just sit there and go, damn, Am I really being as vulnerable as I could be? Am I really being the leader that I could be?

 Nate is the founder of 5 Day Unleash The Leader Within Challenge & Championship Leadership 24 Hr experience, host of the top rated "Championship Leadership Podcast", author of "100 Mile Mindset, Discover The Power Of Being Your Word" and a seasoned entrepreneur.

Nate created the "Strong Men Mastermind", as part of what he considers his life's calling to create a place where other men can compete with each other, bond, and show up much differently in a time where we need nothing more than Strong Men as leaders in our home, businesses and communities.

He works with former athletes and military men to guide them to the life they have always desired without having to experience many of the pitfalls that he did himself along the way.

When was the last time that you were vulnerable?

When's the last time you operated through a scope of integrity that allowed you to surpass the possibility in your life?

Also, before we head into the show, I wanted to share with you.

If you go to thinkunbrokenpodcast.com, there is a little microphone at the bottom of the screen; if you click that, you can leave a voice note, and one of the things that I want to do is start using your questions and your comments as commentary in the show.

So Unbroken Nation, I'm very excited to get in today's episode!

Let's get into the show!

Learn more about Nate Bailey, visit: https://natebailey.org

Get a Paperback copy of Think Unbroken Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma for FREE at: https://book.thinkunbroken.com/Learn more about Coaching Program: https://coaching.thinkunbroken.com/

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Learn more about coaching at www.HealTraumaCoach.com

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Transcript

Michael: Hey, what's up, Unbroken Nation! Michael Unbroken here. Hope that you're doing well, wherever you are in the world. Thank you as usual for listening to the Think Unbroken Podcast. And today, I'm here with my good friend coach and fellow podcaster, Nate Bailey. Nate my friend, what is going on?

Nate: Hey! What’s up, Michael, how you doing, man? Appreciate you having me on.

Michael: Yeah, brother of course. I'm so excited to connect with you and me here with you. You and I have a little bit of history here recently, I was on your show, which was in amazing experience and I'm talking to you I knew that I had to bring on Think Unbroken because your story is incredible, and I think that your voice is audience needs to hear. So, for those of you who don't know you can you give us an elevator pitch here and tell us a little bit about who you are my friend?

Nate: Yeah. Absolutely. Well, first and foremost, I'm married almost 20 years now, which one I think over that was 20 years is a miracle in itself but we've been married for just about 20 years, three kids. But what I do today is as a coach, a speaker and an entrepreneur. I think back to when I was a kid, I don't know if you remember but, you know, in school some of my favorite days where when the secretary would get all over the loudspeaker and tell us all the go into the auditorium because we had special guest speaker or something comes, so which meant you got out of class, but I always remember about those days more so was there was these people that would do for a living would travel around the country, and they would go and speak at these schools to school, and inspiring stories and we're extremely motivational. I remember every single one of them came through and I think at some point, I just kind of followed that away, that would be amazing, that would be so cool but how like – how do you go do that, right?

So as I continue on, I always gravitated towards leadership positions was an officer in the Army was a captain on my football, baseball, basketball teams, and high school, played some college sports and then I became that began that entrepreneurial journey as well, right? And so I've always wanted to lead and it's something that's led me here today to what I do now, which is like I said, I work with entrepreneurs and business owners across the country I run a lot of cool events. I do a 24-hour straight through more military leadership style of event and then I also do 4 days a more in person experiential event along with coaching clients to help them, to really just kind of take the next level in their life and not just in their business, but all areas. I also run crazy distance races as well, which helps kind of drive I've everything else in my life as well, so that’s everything about me.

Michael: I love it and I appreciate it. I mention this to you a little bit of a go, growing up the only thing I ever dreamed about was being in the military, it was everything to me, I was a poor kid from the hood, we were in poverty and you see that being me out for so many kids. And you know, what happened was I actually end up being in the leadership, I was captain of the wrestling team, football team, baseball, even though I wasn't going to school, I was showing up with a sporting event, right? And I love being a leader, I love being in a role where I get to have for lack of a better term, there's no other way to phrase this command over, not only my own life but inspiring other people to step into their potential as well.

You know, leadership is this word that I think so often gets thrown around and I tell my clients when I'm coaching them, whether that's in business coaching or life coaching that you have to first be the leader of your life and that gets missed out so often in the nomenclature of what it means to be a leader and to serve other people that I think most, and this is a generality, right? But I think, generally speaking, most people step into leadership roles and they go, okay, cool, I'm just going to tell people what to do. Can you talk about what being a leader actually means? First, and foremost in your own life and then as you serve people in the world?

Nate: Yeah, 100%, I was just listed. I was just thinking about this very same. I guess topic of what you said about leading yourself. And for me, you must lead yourself before you go lead other people, that's a big reason why I go and run these races, I just did 100 mile, run in Alaska here just less than a month ago about three weeks ago, and it's not that I'm a glutton for punishment and running the races isn't always that fun but it's that training that preparation, that it takes its the discipline, the dedication, the commitment that it takes in order for you to do what's required to be successful at those things that really drives me because when I am focused, when I have a big run ahead of me, and I'm preparing and I'm putting in the work, it forces me to be on point in all other areas of my life as well, because I'm not going to go run 100 miles at the sacrifice of my marriage and my family, I'm not going to go prepare and do everything I can to be successful at 100 miles if it's going to have me fall short in following through, I'm fulfilling on what my clients have paid me for, and what they need me for, and who they need me to show up as so. By running these races, by taking care of myself first it forces me to be a better husband, a better father, a better Coach, and leader, in business, a better leader inside of my community, and in all avenues and aspects of life.

So, I was thinking about just on the car ride, taking my my daughter's back and forth from events they're in that stage of life we're always on the move. I was thinking about this, and if you got two people and all things are equal, right? Like one is grossly overweight and out of shape and the other is fit, and obviously takes care of himself physically inside of his body, but all other things are equal, right? As far as like they're really great leaders, they do well in business, they show up as a great husband and a father but once fit in one's grossly overweight, which one are more people most likely to follow and lead, just subconsciously from the outside looking in. The favors going to go to the person that also looks the part and that takes care of his body and you might be think of yourself, oh, well, that's not true but it really it's true like if someone shows up and they got the whole package, you're going to lead them because they have the discipline, the dedication, the commitment to take care of themselves and their body as well as be all the other things that the other individual has.

Michael: Yeah, and I totally appreciate that. You know, I used to everyone in podcast knows, I used to be 350 pounds, man, I was tremendously overweight, not taking care of myself, and it starts with you. If I could just ingrain that into people so that they really understand like you can't just do mental health work, you have to do the physical work because I don't know about your opinion but the most phenomenal growth I've had in my journey is when I push my body harder because it feels like everything else is easier, what are your thoughts on that?

Nate: I agree, it's definitely the driver for me, as well, I think it's rolled over into into who my wife is like, she's never been out of shape or like overweight grossly by any means but even her like I've been consistently doing this over a good amount of time and she's now over the last year plus, every morning like clockwork, she's getting up and she goes right downstairs, the first thing she does is she works out, she wasn't always doing that, and she was always busy and we had young children and lots of excuses, why not to but she's my kids, they see me doing it and now they're do it, right? Like my clients, one of the reasons that I do it again is my clients. I want to live my life at the highest level. So if I'm going to go and lead others, I got to be making sure I'm leaving myself off and then I can inspire others to go and do the same thing, but it requires me to live life at a very high level. And when I'm doing that physically like I'm just on point like I said, I'm in all other areas are our enhanced because of it. If I don't take care of my body, then man, it's a battle to have the high energy and to have the focus throughout the day, like, I can now be a fit because I was the same way, I was close to 300 pounds in out of shape and overweight. I let myself go for quite a while and it's night and day difference when I take care of my body and when I don't.

Michael: Yeah, and it's such a huge precursor to success in life. I don't think people really understand that until they have to go through the evolution of creating that amount of change. And I love that you use the word discipline, I think about discipline, determination, dedication and domination in my life. For example, today my business got messed up first thing this morning, so it through my day off and I'm like, as soon as I'm done with this Nate, I'm going to the gym man, no excuses, just results, but I had to train that into myself. Can you talk about how it's really like brainwashing yourself, right? Can you talk about how you really start to get out of the excuse mentality and start to show up for yourself in a practical way and how you apply that to your life?

Nate: Yeah. Absolutely. You know it really comes down to something that I call the Integrity Bank. So it comes down to the power of being your word and again that starts with you first like you got to be your word to yourself first before you can go and be your word to other people because if we can't do it for ourselves and how we going to tell somebody, we're going to do something and expect ourselves to follow through for them as well. So, you know, are you telling yourself you're going to wake up in the morning at 5 a.m. and you consistently hit the snooze button, right? You're starting your day taken withdrawal from your integrity bank because you're not getting getting up, when you said you would, no one else might not know that you told you so if you're going to get up then, but if you don't, you're breaking a promise to yourself, and people are in this perpetual cycle of breaking their word to themselves. And so it doesn't matter what you've done or how you haven't shown up or how you haven't been your word for even a long period of time, today we have a great opportunity to make a small promise to ourselves and take one step forward and follow through on that. Like you said things fell apart for you so maybe you didn't hit the gym when you wanted to but you like hey, I'm still going to happen, make it happen, I've done that many times where I've been on the track at 10:00 at night with no lights because I told myself I was going to get that workout in and I did it because I want to be a person of my word.

So every day you make those little promises to yourself and you work out you show up when you say you're going, you do the thing that you told, your client, to your spouse that you would do you show up for your kids the way you that you said, you would all those little things are little deposits into your integrity bank that build up a balance over time. And now, when you need to make a withdrawal because we all have to make withdrawals at some point, you're going to have to break your bank to somebody. So you just own it right away and you let them know that, hey, it ain't going to happen or you allow yourself a little bit of grace, it's just not going to happen for me today. And then you show up tomorrow and then you start putting the deposits back in your bank, but you have the balance overtime, built up to be able to make those withdrawals. So that's my Integrity Bank and it hasn't been perfection, I haven't decided, hey, I'm going to make this change of my life, I'm going to lose the weight like there were days where I wasn't perfect, there was days where I didn't show up but over time consistently through this concept of like man, I'm going to be the person that when I tell somebody I'm going to do something they can just count on it, they know what's going to happen because I've shown up for a certain way over a long period of time, so that's what I'm doing.

Michael: Yeah, that's beautiful. And I look at it as I call it micro wins, right? Every single time you're doing this little thing to build yourself up but Nate, I want to step in this little bit deeper because easier said than done, right? Even in the context that like, I'm going to show up for myself, I'm going to show up for these other people, there's so much negative reinforcement that we have well in our life about who it is that we are and what we're capable of being that so often we just become, okay, with letting ourselves down. How do you start to change that narrative in a way that you can actually start to see measurable progress and success? Is it goals, is it values, is it just doing it like, how do you even identify, like, step one in this process?

Nate: I think it's all of the above really. It's absolutely goals, it's getting to a point in your life, where enough's enough, you gotta whether it's the rock bottom moment or declaring that this is the rock bottom, like declaring that you're just not going to go any lower and that you're going to start to build yourself up and dig out of the perceived hole that you might be in but it's taking a stand for yourself at some point, then yes, creating some goals, I think it's also surrounding yourself with some people that you trust, right? Because we got to be careful who we start to tell about our progress and our journey because some people are going to see that as a reflection of what they're not doing and then they're going to want to kind of be like, what the heck are you doing that for? Who do you think you are? I mean there's so many ways that we get pulled down from other people and other circumstances in our life. So you really have to be careful, especially in the beginning when all of those routines and rituals our habits aren't built up yet and just put your head down and do the work again, start small, start simple because if it has been a long time, where you struggle to do something, whatever it is, and I like the physical examples, because I think it's one that a lot of people can relate with so if it's like, getting back into a workout routine or losing some weight that you've been wanting to lose for a long time. Like there's certain steps that we need to identify, all right, what's required? Where do I want to be work backwards from there? Is detailed as possible? I don't want to leave any rock unturned because this is my life I'm talking about like, this is your life, we're talking about. So why would we be casual and creating the plan because the plan is going to set us up for success to go on and be successful.

So, it's all kinds of different little things, it's talking to yourself in a different way, right? Most of us have this ingrained, non powerful way that we talk to ourselves, it's just defeats us before we even get started. So you got to start to rewire some of the language that we use with our self on a daily basis. What are you listening to? I mean, there's just so many things that happened in conjunction to help you be successful when it is a change that you're making in any area of life.

Michael: Yeah. I love that and I totally agree. And I say it all the time, what you think becomes what you speak, what you speak, becomes your action, your action become your reality. I don't want to call it a dismissive way, but probably in a very stereotypical kind of way, I think people would look at you and go, oh, yeah, you are a captain, you were in the military, you played sports who were destined to be this guy, but I know plenty of men and women who have been in that same position who have not stepped further into their ability in their power, when hitting that brick wall or that rock bottom, where they're like, oh man, my life is kind of a disaster, I need to pick myself up, happens all the time. Here's what I did Nate, I looked at my life, I'm at rock bottom and I ask myself, Michael, what are you willing to do to have the life that you want to have? And I just said, no excuses, just results and I forced myself it was, literally this process of I'm going to do whatever it takes, 100 hour work weeks, waking up to go to the gym at 5:00 in the morning, not drinking alcohol, going to therapy, doing personal development, all of these things, and I held myself accountable and that's where we lose. I want to just go deeper in this because I think it's really, really important, how do you actually hold yourself accountable? Because I think there's one thing about like writing it down and looking at it, but it's that action, right? Change, creates change. So if you're stuck and you've identified, man, I'm at rock bottom and you're like, I know, I want to make my life better, I've heard this podcast before, they have their conversation like how do you actually do it?

Nate: It is a challenge for a lot of people like I have clients that continually are struggling with a lot of the same things over and over again, and they continue to self sabotage themselves by not doing the things that they know that they should be in order to get where they want, right?

So I think we all have heard this before that's because it's true and maybe we're constantly looking for an easier way to get the results that we want and the reality is that there isn't the magic pill there at this easier route to go and maybe that's the problem like stop looking for easy. I don't think life is meant to be easy and a lot of us fall into that fairytale idea of what life is that we're supposed to get to this point where things just get easier was, reality is that it's not going to get easier and when we can switch that mindset to, I expect life not to be easy, I actually look forward for it to be challenging because I know, when it's challenging, it's actually kind of a fun journey and it's more rewarding when we get on the other side of those challenges but you know what, what's the reason that you want the result, that you said that you want like really spend some time to many people don't take the time to find out what really drives them, right? Either why, whatever you want to call it like, what's the thing that drives you? What's the thing the reason that you really want what you say that you want, because that is going to push you through on the days that you don't want to get up and do whatever it is needs to be done that day to get you a little bit closer to that result.

And then, I'll share it, I'll share what I'm going after with people, I'll share the journey because now I really am like stuck to that's accountability for me, right? If I make a post on social media saying, hey, I'm going after this hundred mile run or hey, I'm raising this money for this organization as a part of this run or whatever it might be. Now, I'm on the line actually follow through before because before that again going back to the power of my word, if I don't tell anybody about it, then I just know it, well, then I can be like, well, maybe I'll just do it next year, I'll push it off until never, right?

And so again it comes down to what's really driving you like, why do you really want this? And you know, where is the accountability? Ultimately you need to come from a place of like being held accountable by others to self-accountability, I think is kind of like the self-actualization like that place of when you can be 100% self accountable like there's nothing that will stop you, nothing at all. Because you'll just and it's a very hard place to get to and it might be that Holy Grail, that isn't absolutely possible but the closer you can get them the spectrum to being self accountable to yourself and to what you say, you're going to do the more amazing life is, right? Because it's like literally almost anything is possible for you.

Michael: Yeah, well said and I think about it. Sometimes you also have to start with creating goals that are so obnoxiously big and far-fetched that the only thing that you can do was try to move towards them at momentum. I think about every day, my mission is to end generational trauma and my lifetime, that's so unfeasible, man, we've been putting in the effort every single day. I know that I'm gonna die before it happens, but that doesn't mean I can't plant the trees now. You said something really important and I want to come back to it I actually wrote it down in my notebook here, because it's a word that's meaningful to me in my life, you said, sacrifice. When you are moving into trying to create the life that you want to have, you're going to have to get something up, you're going to have to give something up because you only have so much space, you can only bring in so much. Talk to me about the power of sacrifice in the role that that's played in around people around her career around even the things that you want to do, because you got to go do the other thing and what that word actually means to you?

Nate: Yeah, I think it's sacrifice and prioritization, right? It doesn't mean that you can't ever do that thing ever again that you're sacrificing now, right? But if there's something in your life that it's so important to you and you have this huge reason why just driving you behind it, it almost doesn't become a sacrifice any longer, right? So I think that's the point that we want to get to, but there's certain things, when you're determining, all right, I'm going after this, all right what is required for me to do this? Like if I was really going to do this and I list out all of those things and I got them on a whiteboard in front of me or I got in my journal in? on my computer, wherever you're doing this? Or you have to coffee table with a good old-fashioned notebook and pen, right? And you listen out all the things and you decide, right? There's a decision point, am I going to do this? Am I willing to make the sacrifice, right? Ultimately, that's what you're saying, my willing to make sacrifices in my life, am I willing to cut certain things out and my willing to shift things around in my life, right? There's some change coming and predominantly us as human beings don't like a lot of change and so you're going to shift and shake some things up not only for yourself, but for other people, so are you prepared to make some of those sacrifices inside of your life. And if you say, yep, you look at this, you take a deep breath, just like kind of what you said with the mission and the vision that you have for yourself like that's a huge task in my really willing to go after this because I know I'm going to have to make some sacrifices here and here and all areas of life with certain people, right? Like don't look at it as you're cutting it out forever, there might be a good friend of mine, he's a former Navy SEAL coach tree, sometimes he has to take people in his life and put them up on a shelf or I got to take this and I can just got to put it up on the shelf, I'm not tossing it in the trash can, I'm just setting it on the shelf for this season because I'm going after this, and I can't have those things that might get in the way. And he puts things up on the shelf, he doesn't cut him out, he doesn't do it with any ill intent, he doesn't do it in a bad way, he just was like, hey, right now this thing's going on the shelf, this person's gone on the shelf, I'm making these sacrifices on, I'm going to go and get what I want to get. The example he uses his, I got to go train and become a Navy SEAL becomes a Navy SEAL, all right, I can bring some people back off the shelf back into my life because I was successful and I've accomplished that, right? So we all have to put people or things on the shelf from time to time and maybe that's a better way to to help you kind of understand that concept of sacrifice and know that it's not a forever thing, it's just for right now.

Michael: Yeah, absolutely. For me nothing is more enjoyable than like hanging out playing video games every day, right? Like, I'm a kid from the Nintendo generation man and ghetto but also like you can tap into it sometimes. I have these incredibly intensive weeks and I'll find myself on a Sunday every now and then, I got to turn off, I still have to take care of myself because I'm leading myself first and that's such an important part of this. But I'm always thinking about, like – even in that moment, there's no shame, there's no guilt, I try not to bring myself down about it but so many people do and they look at how we are and how other people in this leadership self-development space are, I just can never be that, we don't start there.  I decided and you have to make a decision, you have to create action but it starts with alignment and more so I think it starts with really, getting deep down into understanding who you are. Talk to me about the role that knowing your values plays in your life, Nate?

Nate: Yeah, it's knowing who you are and I think the next most powerful question you can ask actually did a Ted Talk on this called, who do you have to become? Asking yourself that question and who do I have to become and your values drive, like, all of that, right? Who you are? Hopefully, your values support that, but they don't always, right? There's a reason that we might, we're going from where we are to where we want to be. And so, it's not a place to beat ourselves up, but it's a place to just take accountability and measure us where we are currently right here, right now because we're always a work in progress. And my core values are something that I really focused on especially recently, it's something that I really paid a little bit more attention to, I think we all have values but we don't always spend a lot of time thinking about them and so spend some time really thinking more about that. What's important to me and who do I really want to be because maybe not necessarily where I want to be right now, even when it comes to certain things in my life that are maybe a little bit of out of alignment, right? So are you congruent is a question? I always ask, right?

That's a great way to take a litmus test or do a spot check on yourself of, okay, Michael, like I see these values are important to me and my congruent and if you are or you are not, you know, if your clothes and there's maybe a few things that you need to touch up or clean up to, get in full total alignment. You know, unlike a train track, our life isn't like we go off from time to time and we just know that just tells us that we're human, right? So don't beat yourself up, don't blame and shame yourself, we got another enough other people doing that and our lives are trying to do that for us. So but it is important to live your life, by some rules or values, guiding principles to help you kind of give you that roadmap to stay stay online.

Michael: Yeah, and if you're a person who doesn't excited, I have values for very long time if you ask me that, I wouldn't be able to tell you and I believe that the vast majority of people especially in Western societies, do not know their values and I always think to myself, if you don't know your values, how do you possibly know who you are? That old adage if you don't stand for anything, you'll fall for everything. Where do you start to like put values together? Like what are you using for marker to kind of figure out who you are when you've never had this before?

Nate: Yeah, there's probably someone that teaches a course on like how to create your core values, right? But I've just sat down and thought of like, what's really important to me in my life, right? You know, like connections and when I think of the relationship I have with my clients, the people that I have the opportunity to coach and lead like I don't want to just have this professional relationship with them, but I want to have more of a family connection with them, so that's family's important to me, not just inside of my family, but inside of my business as well. You know, being a man in the arena, which is old Theodore Roosevelt speech, that's all about really showing up every day, doing what you need to do, not being afraid of being in the arena and whether you win or you lose, if you're in the arena, you're in a good place, so I showed attempt to live my life that way. Be open, which means not just telling the truth and being honest, but being open to other possibilities and perspectives in life from others essentially, not going through life saying, hey, I got it all figured out and you don't need to tell me what I'm missing, right? So being a leader like you lead. People need leaders nowadays, so it's just all those things that are important to me and that I probably also communicate on a daily basis to others and so I just go through and you list those out and you keep the ones that really resonate with you to deep level. I think you're also open again to those changing as time goes on as well and then just like whenever I come up with one or two of those I like to define it a little bit, so I'll just kind of go into detail a little bit more or what that really means to me. I think that's important piece to Integrity is a big one. For me, of course for that, I think that comes from being in the Army and the military we had our army values, instilled in us and that's I just take things from people and places that I've been where some of those values have probably been instilled in me from a certain point and just kind of start to adopt some of those that really have stuck.

Michael: Yeah. I think often also, I look at people, you mentioned people in community and family a few times here and it's so incredibly important because you know, especially guys like me and I grew up with very little community, no parents, they were drug addicts and alcoholics and you go through that? And a lot of people have struggled and it's really hard to trust people and get to this place where you can create that bond in that connection, but it's there, it's there especially if you look for it are especially if you are willing to go and build it and find it and cultivate it because ultimately, I think about this all the time, it's never going to be handed to you. Like I remember these moments of being a little kid and just engulfed in military culture, my uncle was in the Navy, my brother is in the Army, my cousins are in the Air Force, we come from a military family, and I was like –oh, cool as soon as I get out of here, I'm gonna get Brotherhood, I distinctly remember thinking that I'm finally not going to be alone but come to pass, I hurt myself in high school, I'm going to be a sniper and but that didn't happen. And so I had to look at my life and go, how am I going to cultivate community? How am I cultivate people? And for a long time, I was not into your point, congruence with the people I was spending my time with, I was just honoring myself by going out and living this life that really made no sense, it took me a long time to recognize that and realize that bottom time, but it came to pass and I found myself, now where I'm in alignment with people like you, where we are leaders, were trying to create change in the world, we're trying to build something that matters in our communities, our neighborhoods, our families, our friends, our empires.

When you are out and you are measuring people because look, it's always a measurement, I'm sorry, anyone who says people aren't judging, is lying, you're being judged right now, the people who don't like you, there are people who do like you, that is the nature of the world, there's eight billion people on Earth, don’t expect everybody to like you, you're out of your fucking mind, it's just enough gonna happen. When you're in this position and you're just like, man, I got to go find something to be a part of and you speaking on people and community very highly, why is that so important to you, Nate? Why does that actually matter?

Nate: Yeah, that's a good question. That I was just thinking about that myself here just a second ago. I don't know my biological father really at all, I've last time I saw him was in second grade and I've spoke to him a handful of times that I can remember, he left when I was about a year and a half, just was not in my life, hasn't been in my life and it's just always been that way. So I always tell myself that it really doesn't affect me but I think there's probably something there that brings that importance of family for me together and importance of doing life together. Of course, I was in sports, I was in the military, so I've always been in those team environments also where the greatest teams that I've been a part of the championship teams, I've been a part over the successful teams inside of the military; we had that family feel right? We had this cohesion and camaraderie, we're truly felt like a group of brothers and brothers and sisters together that you do anything for and so I guess I've carried all of that forward to who I am today. It's like way more fun to go through life with people especially people that you like and as a business owner, luckily I get to choose who I do business with and who bring into my life to do work with and but I want that I like when I went and did that run that hundred mile run just for instance, five of my clients who are also, my very good friends, came and supported me like I'm running, they're sitting in a car together for almost 48 hours in the middle of nowhere and they had the greatest time of their life and they loved helping and supporting me and I'm like, man, this is what life's all about. Because I've gone and done the races where it was just me and I didn't any fun like going like some people want to wear it as a badge of honor all I went, did this really hard thing and I did it all by myself, aren't cool, screw that, like, I could probably go and do that but why would I? When I could do it surrounded by people that I love and care about and that I'd want to be around, it's always been there.

Michael: Yeah. I love it, man. Communities everything and I appreciate the vulnerability to. You know, I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently and having not only people who I coach in business and personal, but running multiple companies, and being this person who is a leader, and I can rewind and go back to always wanting, I literally, this is so funny, I was reading a book or listening to audio book and I will never remember the name of been trying for two years to figure it out and it's one of those things in passing and it'll come back, hopefully, and the man said, oh, whoever knows us if you know this, please message me I want to know and he said a lot of times when we're children, the nicknames that were given become who we are and I was fascinated by that because kids used to mockingly call me coach and play, it's fascinating to me. And today, that is where I am and how I exist, but I don't think that you can be an effective coach, leader, partner, human being without vulnerability. And in the reason why I brought that up because I appreciate you being vulnerable to snout the story with your father. What are your thoughts about the correlation between being an effective leader not only in your life, but in business and vulnerability?

Nate: I do believe, it's huge. You know, I'll cry like – I don't have a problem, crying in front of anyone, to be honest and I think there's a big part, especially as a man, and I'm a large man, I'm 6’3 and I don't have a problem being vulnerable, and I think the people really relate and open up when you are vulnerable, right? Like some of the guards go down, I've seen the guards go down, I've had people come up to me afterwards, right? If you speaking somewhere and you're vulnerable in the open up there, like oh my goodness, thank you so much like they just come and they thank you for being real and open and vulnerable because then there's that connection there, right? That wouldn't have been there otherwise a connecting at a deep level was someone in many cases that they've never met because of a story that you share that's very similar that or that that reminds them of a deep and personal time in their life. So when people aren't vulnerable on the flip side, like you guard is always up and you like, what's going on here? What are they hiding? What are they trying to protect? And it's not always that they're trying to be manipulative, because some people aren't willing to go there just because of maybe they think it's a form of weakness or maybe it's just something that was ingrained in them for a very young age was modeled that you just don't get real vulnerable with with people, just for whatever reason, right? But the people, the leaders that I've been moved by the most and that have had the most impact on me, we're all vulnerable people from, it doesn't mean just crying, right? That means like excitement and emotion and connection and being willing to share all for the purpose of pulling the best out of like the team or the person that they're interacting with, it's always from a place of like, others centered. When real vulnerability comes through, you can tell that it's not for them to make themselves look good because I think you do see that, right? You'll see some people that are doing it trying to get over, or they're in a manipulative way, right? They try, but we can sense if it's real or it's not, right? You just know you see it, you just know inside of me being like, the bullshit meter goes up or it doesn't like, is it whether this person's being real or not, when it comes to vulnerability, and I think it's so powerful and it's one of the probably one of the top characteristics of a leaders, the willingness to be able to do so.

Michael: Yeah. People don't want to fall people who they don't relate with and we see it all the time, you see the people crying on Instagram when we could get the fuck out of here, right? Like there's that's nonsense man, but show up in your life crying like last I was watching America's Got Talent and like this beautiful thing out and just tears welling up in my eyes, this is real life, don't run from your emotions because ultimately they are precursor for being a human being, you must have them. Nate, there's an absolutely amazing conversation, my friend before I ask you my last question though can you tell everyone where they can find you?

Nate: Yeah. Absolutely. I know my website had been up there for a little bit but just go to natebailey.org. I have a free audiobook; you could you can download absolutely free on my website as well called the 100-mile mindset. So that would be the best place to connect with me and see what I'm all about all about.

Michael: I love it, man, I can't wait to read I'm going to go download it right after this name. My last question for you and my friend is what does it mean to you to be unbroken?

Nate: Oh, well, that's a good question to be unbroken. You know, I guess I would say we're all broken right? From certain samples, we've all had certain things that have put little notches and Nixon us, I think of my living room coffee table that we've had since we've had when we got married and then now we have three kids and they were rough on that table and there was one point where I kind of like, was upset because this was from my grandmother and my grandfather, but then I was like, now this is awesome actually because there's there's a lot of character and stories and memories inside of each one of those dents and knock notches on that table and I think that's everyone of us, right? So being unbroken is just never giving up its continuing to move forward for what it is that you want in your life, not settling continuing to be a little bit uncomfortable in life, like being willing to be uncomfortable to create the life in the results that you want. So unbroken, it's not about being perfect, but it's about like continuing to hold on to what is really important to you and your life and not let go of that and to not give up.

Michael: It's amazing, my friend, thank you so much for being here.

Unbroken Nation, thank you so much for listening.

And as usual my friends.

Please like, subscribe, comment, tell a friend.

And Until Next Time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

I'll see you.

Michael Unbroken Profile Photo

Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.

Nate Bailey Profile Photo

Nate Bailey

Coach

Is the founder of 5 Day Unleash The Leader Within Challenge & Championship Leadership 24 Hr experience, host of the top rated "Championship Leadership Podcast", author of "100 Mile Mindset, Discover The Power Of Being Your Word" and a seasoned entrepreneur.

Nate created the "Strong Men Mastermind", as part of what he considers his life's calling to create a place where other men can compete with each other, bond, and show up much differently in a time where we need nothing more than Strong Men as leaders in our home, businesses and communities.

He works with former athletes and military men to guide them to the life they have always desired without having to experience many of the pitfalls that he did himself along the way.