Jan. 27, 2022

E192: You are in control of your life | CPTSD and Trauma Healing Coach

In this episode, I will talk about how you control your life. To take control of your life, or exercise personal leadership, is to take responsibility for yourself and every area of your life. It means being connected with your values and vision and...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e192-you-are-in-control-of-your-life-cptsd-and-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes

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In this episode, I will talk about how you control your life.

To take control of your life, or exercise personal leadership, is to take responsibility for yourself and every area of your life. It means being connected with your values and vision and setting meaningful goals for yourself.

You are strong enough, capable enough to change the world through your vision. You are in control of your life; you are the hero of your own story; you are the leader of your life; you will do whatever it takes within to have the life that I want to have, and when you take control, you become more productive and more optimistic.

Are you setting yourself up for success?

Take Control of your life!

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You are in control of your life.I am in control of my life.

Every day when I wake up, the very first thing that I do when I put my feet on the ground before I get out of bed before I have water, before I journal, before I meditate, before I do anything, I put my feet on the ground and I say, I am in control of my life.

One of the reasons that I do this and probably the predominant reason that I do this is because the first thing that we think in the morning, sets the precedent for everything that happens in our day. When you understand something, from a biological perspective, when we wake up we are being woken by a cortisol release in our brain to bring awareness to our body. So that in the event that were in danger, we can move quickly. Now, most of us, the vast majority are not in a position, which when we wake up in the morning, there's a lion hovering over us, right?

Growing up in a cortisol state, where your body, your brain is flooded with this chemical, that is about putting you in survival mode fight or flight. The thing that happens when you wake up is kind of the same thing that happens in your body when you are under attack and that is your flooded with cortisol. Now, of course, it's a dramatically lessened amount of cortisol that is released in the morning than if like you were under attack or someone was going to hurt you or you are in a hyper vigilant state. But think about this, if your body's autonomic response is to go to self-soothing mechanisms, when you are in a cortisol state, for instance, I'm freaking out, so I go to drink or I get stoned or I go back to sleep, I hit the snooze button, whatever that may be. You have to understand that when you're starting your day in a cortisol state, you have to be incredibly aware of that.

One of the things that I used to do in the mornings before I rolled out of bed this is literally before I rolled out of bed, I'd wake up, I'd hit snooze like fucking four times, and then I'd grab the pipe that was next to my bed and I would get high and then I would get out of bed and then I would rush to work and try to get there and start my day and like eight minutes.

And today the reason why, when I wake up in the morning, there's a couple things, right? One, I do not wake up with an alarm, there is an alarm for an in case/emergency situation in, which I don't wake up, which is rare if ever typically, my body's pretty good about 5:45 somewhere in that window I've trained myself into that. Also, the thing I've discovered about alarms they really send me into a cortisol state, I hate the sound of alarms so I've trained myself to wake up without them.

The other thing is, I know that when cortisol is released in my body, I automatically as a biological response will go into self soothing mechanisms. Now because it's not marijuana and my life, we're getting stoned, it can become other things, right? It can be like scrolling, which I don't do, I've learned how to break that habits, be snooze, which I don't do, I've broken that habit. So you learn throughout this process, like what you do to satiate the discomfort of being enveloped in cortisol in the morning and again, it's a very small amount, you can go look at any research, it's not enough that you're going to be super hyper vigilant or going hyper arousal probably not going to happen. But our brains reaction to those moments our body's physical reactions moments is okay, what do I need to do to go to where I feel safe, secure, content comfortable, and even avoidant?

And so what I'm suggesting here is thinking about the way that you're starting your day. My phone is nowhere near me in the morning, I don't go near it, I don't touch it, I don't go into that world because man, that's the greatest way to get off base and you've heard this a million times so I won't go into that but when I put my feet on the ground in the morning and I say to myself, I am in control of my life, that's the first seed that's planted in my day. It's not emails, it's not text messages, it's not phone calls, not voicemails, it's not slack messages from my team, it's not DM’s from people in social media, it's not reviews on the podcast, it's nothing except me going and sitting down and starting my day on my terms. And most days, I don't touch my phone for the first five minutes to an hour. One of the things that I've been thinking about this a lot is, you know, looking at having my iPad totally disconnected from the internet so I can go in there, that's where I journal, that's where I write my to-do list, that's kind of where I do my self study in my reflection.

So something I'm contemplating in real time, will just share that with you guys but ultimately, when I put my feet on the ground, I say I am the one in control of my life, I'm setting myself up for success.

And so this is really about a question.

Are you setting yourself up for success?

You see having mantras, right?

I'm good enough.

I'm strong enough.

I am capable enough.

I can change the world through my visions, right?

Whatever that mantra is for you that can become really a beautiful precedent for you when you wake up in the morning, when you step into your day, when you go into creating the life that you want to have because you're taking control, that's the thing that happens you're taking control immediately and that gives you the power.You're not handing your power over to someone else or something or just action or worse dissociation, right?

You're stepping into your day and you're going, I am control of this.

This is my life. I'm choosing this.

Now that doesn't have to necessarily be your Mantra, but it's something I want you to think about. Are you setting yourself up for success in the morning? Are you setting yourself up for success for your day, for your week, for your life? And most of us are not, and again, I've been guilty of this so I'm not pointing fingers, I'm just trying to give you something practical hear. The shit in your head when you wake up in the morning and the shit you can zoom, set you up for success or failure, it really does, that's why I do my personal development in the morning. In this order, I wake up, put my feet on the ground so I'm controlled my life. I drink water, I move my body a little bit, start making coffee, I grab my journal, I journal, I write, face fear and then I kind of like brain dump, right then I write my dreams and my goals and my ambitions and I write my to do list all the things. I know have to get accomplished in the day and then I go in and personal development for anywhere from depending on the day, 30-minutes to an hour, right?

So I have control over the first two hours of my day, because realistically, those are the only two hours of my day and which, I don't have the demand of running multiple teams and running the podcast and running businesses and speaking, and coaching and writing and doing all those other things.

So you have to find that time in your day and I know some of you are going to be like, well, when I wake up in the morning, I have to grab my phone. No, you don't, you literally do not, there's probably nothing in your life that cannot wait 35 minutes and you could even start slow, can you go ten minutes, right? Retraining the brain. If you're waking up in a cortisol state and your brain goes, okay, I need to satiate the discomfort right now and you grab your phone, right?

When you understand that from a biological response, that's autonomic, you're doing that to feel safe in the world, there's nothing wrong with that but ask yourself this question.

Is there a different way that I can step into this?

And so what I would challenge you to, in the morning, as soon as you wake up. Two things, (1) take your phone out of your fucking room, it doesn't need to be in there, you're in there, you're on that thing all day long, it's destroying your life. (2) when you wake up in the morning, can you create a mantra for your day that gives you power and precedent over what's next?

I'm good enough, strong enough, I'm capable enough, I can change the world through my vision, I am in control of my life, I am the hero of my own story, I am the leader of my life, I will do whatever it takes within my morals, my guidelines, my boundaries and my vision and my values to have the life that I want to have. Plant that seed in your head immediately and watch your life be different.

So, my friends, thank you so much Unbroken Nation for being here.

Thank you for listening.

Please, like, subscribe, comment, share.

Tell a friend.

And Until Next Time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

-I'll see you.

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Michael Unbroken


Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.