Jan. 18, 2022

E183: The First Step in Facing Fear | CPTSD and Trauma Healing Coach

In this episode, I will share the first step in facing fear with you. I was thinking about how much of our life is bathed in our decisions around fear. And so what I want you to think about is if you carry that and you accept the reality that both of...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e183-the-first-step-in-facing-fear-cptsd-and-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes


In this episode, I will share the first step in facing fear with you. I was thinking about how much of our life is bathed in our decisions around fear.

And so what I want you to think about is if you carry that and you accept the reality that both of those things are true, it is both difficult and scary to live your life then your life will be very different. And in facing fear, I think what always holds people back is not necessarily the outcome but the first step.

There are two kinds of fear in the world and two types of fear you face in your life… Are you ready to take the first step in facing fear?

Let’s Find Out and Listen Today!

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Transcript

Hey! What's up, Unbroken Nation! Hope that you're doing well, wherever you are in the world today.

I have a thought this morning, as I was getting ready to go to the grocery store, very early 6 a.m. because that's when it opened and I was like, I'm gonna go to the grocery store. And I was thinking about how so much of our life is kind of bathed in the decisions we make around fear and I think that there's two kinds of fear in the world. I think there's really two types of fear that you face in your life.

The fear that stops you and the fear that propels you forward, right?

I think so often about what it means to show up for yourself every single day, while trying to face fear, and you've probably heard me say, before the number one thing I always write down in my journal, first thing is face fear. And the reason I do that is like – I don't know what the fear for the day is going to be, it could be speaking at an event, it could be working with a client, it could be my business partners, it could be anything right?

There's that little bit of, you know, that weird feeling that some sensation that you get when you're like, oh this is scary. I feel like that happens every single day of my life and you have the opportunity to show up in to live your life in the face that fear or to be crippled by it and it's easy to get crippled by it. And I don't think anyone is free of this and I want to be clear about this because sometimes I know that people listen this show and they're like, man, you're so intense, like I'm stuck, I can't do it. You can do it, you fully can now whether or not you choose to do it and you decide to do it, those are two very different things and I think the problem we often face in this process of coming through and rebuilding, our identity, discovering who we are showing up every single day, living life on her own terms, ultimately being the hero of your own story is that we feel like it's going to be too difficult or that it's scary on the back side, both of those things are true.

And so what I want you to think about is if you carry that and you just accept the reality that both of those things are true, it is both difficult and scary to live your life then your life will be very different. And in facing fear, I think what always holds people back as not necessarily the outcome, but the first step.

I talked about this a lot, the first step was the most important thing that you can do in your journey, and that could be about anything in your life and fear will either keep you stuck or it will catapult you like. I look at my life today and I'm very happy with my life; I love my life, actually where I am going however, and how I got to where I am today was both difficult and scary, my future feels the same way because what I want to build with Think Unbroken and empowering trauma survivors, and moving to literary fiction for young adults, and teens, and creating a media company and growing Think Unbroken into this thing that hopefully far out lives me is going to be incredibly difficult and scary. But then also, I think about my body, my health, my relationships, my friendships, like those are all difficult and scary to, like how do you tap deeper into those and have a better level of communication, trust, love, hope, joy and all those things like, there's fear involved in that right?

Fear of intimacy, fear of hope, fear of joy, fear of pain, fear of everything, right? We all have fear, it's right here. And the truth is like facing that fear is going to be the difference between where you're at and where you want to go.

And so, what I want you to think about is the fear in your life is stopping you or is it pushing you forward? Because if it's stopping you, it's a dangerous place to be; because when fear stops you and your immobile, what will happen is, we'll start to move towards other behaviors to keep us safe.

You know, there's research that points to this idea that people who suffer from alcoholism, once they find a goal in something that they believe in will often and this is not always the case, but often no longer be an alcoholic because they have something that is bigger than them, that they are moving towards about creating value in the world.

Like, when I think about my life at its most chaotic, it was when I became of service and to create value in the world, that so many of my behaviors, my habits, my patterns, the way existed and showed up in the world started to change but even doing that required facing fear.

Can I write a book?

Can I start a podcast?

Can I coach people?

Can I do all these things?

And the truth about this is, I didn't know what I was doing.

We all start at zero, we all start at that very first place in our head right before the first step. And I think if you can just convince yourself to just go one step at a time that's where you win. And that's where I'm at with this right now with, what's next to my life, trying to build something bigger than me, trying to build this media company, trying to impact my community where I live and change the world from the inside out like, it literally started with okay, I have this idea, can I just take the first step? And sometimes the first step is like, picking up the phone, calling someone, sending that email, watching the YouTube video, registering the domain, right? Whatever that thing is.

The first step is always where you begin and if you can do that, you'll start to cement this idea that if you continually take another step every single day on a long enough time line, you'll end up having that thing that you want to have.

Now in that there's going to be a lot of fear that comes up, there's gonna be a lot of scary moments, there's going to be a lot of questioning yourself and that's okay because we all do I promise you nobody has this all figured out, I certainly do not, I'm going to make mistakes, I'm going to screw up, but I'm going to keep going, right?

And that fear that we have, whether it's about relationships, or money, or career, or anything is not going to go away. I know people who are billionaires, one of my mentors Grant Cardone is billionaire, that dude talks about fear of losing everything all the time and that's why he continues to act, he continues to build it, continues to grow.

I have friends who are not billionaires, I have friends who are like me and we're making it day to day and trying to build something, and trying to impact our community in the lives around us and the thing about that is we still look at the idea that fear is right, we go forward.

My clients, many of them like – I can't share names obviously, but one of my clients has radically transformed her life when we started coaching, she was in this position where she was underpaid, overworked, in a shit relationship and wasn't taking care of her body. And today she is well paid where she should be, got a promotion is in an incredible relationship, is in the best shape of her life and cares about herself, more than she ever has.

And the reason why, is because when we came into this together, she was willing to face those fears, she was willing to put herself in this position of addressing what was in front of her by taking one step at a time and the transformation was incredible to watch from my side because I think that's why I coach like, I know I don't talk about it a lot on the show. But the reason that I coach people is for those moments. It's looking at that and going, wow, that is such an incredible testament to the human will.

When you make a decision to face your fear, you can have everything that you want.

So that said fears going to be there.

It's okay, accept it, acknowledged it.

It's going to be difficult.

It's going to be scary.

Like that's how this goes, but can you just take one step today to move towards the life that you want to have?

Because if you move that one step, guess what?

You're one step closer than when you started.

Unbroken Nation. Thank you so much for listening.

My friends, I appreciate you greatly.

Please of course, like, subscribe, comment, share.

Tell a friend.

And Until Next Time.

My Friends, Be Unbroken.

-I'll see you.

 

 

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Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.