Dec. 5, 2021

E150: Permission | Trauma Healing Coach

In this episode, it's another dive into my book Think Unbroken Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma. Like an episode of the podcast, I will give you a chapter of the book that was super meaningful that will create massive value in your life...
See show notes: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e150-permission-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes


In this episode, it's another dive into my book Think Unbroken Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma. Like an episode of the podcast, I will give you a chapter of the book that was super meaningful that will create massive value in your life on your healing journey; I share with you about PERMISSION.

You have permitted yourself to live a life you don't truly want or deserve. You have permitted yourself to be the victim, it's bullshit, and it's time that you permitted yourself to be great.

How many times in your life have you sought permission from the people around you to do what you wanted or needed to do? And how do you leverage the life that you want to have?

Listen and Be Unbroken!

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Transcript

PERMISSION

Clarity comes from action, not thought. – Marie Forleo

It's time to stop playing the victim. Yes, you. Look, I get it.

The world is against you. Your parents sucked. Your boss is a dick. Your partner cheated on you. Your health is fucked. Your best friend won't talk to you. Your car has broken down. It's too cold outside. There's a full moon tonight. Mercury is in retrograde blah, blah, blah.

I used to come up with every excuse possible to justify my behavior and my life, never seem to be going my way. I was the king of feeling sorry for myself no matter what the situation I felt that I deserved what was happening to me. Feeling like there is justification in the bad shit that has happened or is happening in your life is playing the victim.

No one deserves to experience, child abuse or trauma.

You have lost sight of the fact that you are not actually broken because you have become used to allowing yourself, to play the role of the broken victim.

You have allowed yourself to feel sorry for yourself, bathed in self-loathing and pity made excuses for when you don't reach goals or deadlines, ruined relationships, and self-sabotage. You are fucking your life up.

You have given yourself permission to live a life you don't truly want or deserve. You have given yourself permission to be the victim, it's bullshit, and it's time that you gave yourself permission to be great.

The healing process cannot fully begin to take form until you acknowledge that you want to heal.

The killing comes and giving yourself permission to be healthy in order to step forward in life you have to want to become unbroken more than you want to be a victim. It's easy to get trapped in the thought process of I deserve what has happened to me.

The part of you that feels safety and security in the world has been interrupted. It only makes sense, that you would feel like the world is against you. The negative and harmful thoughts and feelings that occur within you when you seem stuck are from being in the vortex. To negate, those thoughts and feelings in order to heal, you have to allow yourself the space to accept the fact that you may have once been victimized but you are no longer a victim.

The victim mentality feeds the vortex and that little voice in your head. It takes a very, very long time to get your mindset to a place that you can begin to feel like you can fully take ownership of your life and it starts with

Step one;

  • Go look in a mirror. Look at yourself in the eyes and say; I give myself permission to heal. I am not broken. I am unbroken.

Step two;

  • Is doing it again a single day for the rest of your life. You are not broken. Period. Fucking end of the sentence.

You are not even if you feel like it, it's not true.

What you are as hurt. What you are as someone who was supposed to be protected and cared for and nourished by the people around you and you weren't and because of that, you have to do the work to fix the problems that other people created.

I don't know a single trauma warrior that signed up for this role.

I sure as hell didn't, but it's ours to take.

Unfortunately, you do not have a choice in that matter.

You have come to this moment through honest experiences and real suffering and it is by giving yourself permission to heal that it will actually begin rather than looking to others permission to heal comes from you.

It must be in transit. No one can make you take steps to heal. I don't breathe for you, I don't cry for you, I don't laugh for you or feel happiness, or find joy and simple things for you.

In the same way that you can choose to stay in bed and hate the world. You can choose to put your shoes on walk outside and do something healthier for yourself. No one can make you healthy, but you. There is no one else that can do that for you. I was once told that change happens when you become who you are. You are the champion of your life and the hero of your story.

How many times in your life have you sought permission from the people around you to do what you wanted or needed to do? If you are like me, then the answers, probably too many, but no one owes you shit, especially permission.

BECOMING UNBROKEN, I OWE IT TO MYSELF

Part of ownership falls into permission.

You have to own the space, to permit yourself, to heal.

It is up to you to become the person you want to be.

Break your bad habits and find peace in your life.

In this exercise, write the goals, dreams, ambitions, hopes, and experiences that you have felt like you needed permission to accomplish or to pursue.

This exercise can be really profound because what I want you to think about as you step into this is how do you leverage what you want? How do you leverage the life that you want to have and define it to some extent?

And as many things in life happen, we have to look at and acknowledge ourselves for those experiences. And for the things that haven't happened yet, we have to allow ourselves permission to pursue them because guess what?

No one else is going to do this for you. No one other than you is going to tell you that you are allowed to have the life that you want to have.

And even as you've made it to this point in the book, I have tried to convey this to you in a way that you understand. This is about you, all of this, everything that happens in your life is on your shoulders. The good, the bad, the indifferent but the amazing thing that happens when you are on this journey is when you make a declaration yourself, that I will allow myself permission to heal, to grow, to change, to be successful, to be an awesome parent or a great lover, or be the next Great American author, or whatever that thing is, then that can come to fruition in time but now, it starts with the decision, it starts with permission.

 

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Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.