E133 The Power of Resilience in Healing Trauma | CPTSD and Trauma Healing Coach
In this episode, I read another chapter of my book, Think Unbroken Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma. And this is all about “The Power of Resilience in Healing Trauma."
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/e133-the-power-of-resilience-in-healing-trauma-cptsd-and-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes
In this episode, I read another chapter of my book, Think Unbroken Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma. And this is all about “The Power of Resilience in Healing Trauma."
There is also another side to the conversation of trauma, resiliency, or resilience. Many of us have survived, which makes people cringe and squirm out of fear and terror. We have been in situations that horror movies are based on, and yet here we are.
Today, you learned about how to increase your resilience, the power of strength in your healing journey, and how it can affect your life!
As a warrior going to battle, you need a team of people behind you. There is only one way to be victorious in this battle together.
Be a WARRIOR and Be UNBROKEN.
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RESILIENCE
Life is all there is, and if that's true, then we have to really live it. We have to take it for everything it has and die enormous instead of living dormant. - Jay-Z
There is also another side to the conversation of trauma, resiliency, or resilient. The word resilient means the capacity to recover from difficult situations, it also means toughness. Many of us have survived shit that makes people cringe and squirm out of fear and terror. We have been in situations that horror movies are based on and yet here we are.
I believe that the majority of human beings have a level of toughness in them that kicks in when we go into survival mode. Toughness isn't only about fighting back, it's also about having the awareness to adapt and to do whatever it takes to survive. Being tough means being a warrior and you've been wearing camo face, paint, and carrying bayonets since you were old enough to walk. I've been asked so many times how I survived. How many times have you been asked this question? My answer used to be along the lines of I just figured it out.
Now that I have a better understanding of the path that I have been on. I know that statement is true to an extent, but it's not the whole truth. The whole truth is that throughout different periods of my life from childhood until now, I have had people in my life I could trust, to spur me on, who loved me, supported me, gave me shelter, created a sense of safety, helped me, and wanted to make sure I was doing well in school.
You may have had a couple of people like this in your life and I know this for me, that was the minority. Also, have an unshakable and unexplainable belief, that life is what you make it. I am an independent, go-getter and no matter what I get shit done. I don't believe in leaving my future in the hands of anyone else. Have you ever had any of these same experiences or thoughts for yourself? Love, shelter, support, safety, help, and beliefs are considered to be the precursors of resiliency.
According to Mark Rains and Kate Mclinn of Southern Kennebec Healthy Start who came up with the 14 questions in 2006 that are indicative of an increased rate of trauma survivability. What they created is a resiliency survey in the scheme of the ACE study, but it has not yet been developed for the study.
According to the survey, the rates of increased resiliency can occur when just one person comes to bat for you. If a single person intervenes in any way, then you have an exponentially higher chance of coming through the other side of trauma.
The other key factor is our natural acuity for survival. Human beings are animals that have been built with fascinating mechanisms, which serve one purpose to make sure we don't die. Your brain, skin, bones, and organs, are on a mission to keep you alive and because of that, you have a baseline resiliency from birth.
The presence of external interventions in conjunction with your natural need to stay alive gives you a real fighting chance. I'm not saying you will come out of abuse, unscathed. No, I'm just saying that you will come out. There were times I told people I survived my childhood trauma on my own. I convinced myself that I single-handedly survived my abuse. It wasn't until I took a step back and took into account, the people who had without a doubt, been there for me that I realized, I wasn't alone.
The truth was, I was too scared to admit that anyone helped me that level of vulnerability was terrifying. I grew up in a way that made seeking or asking for help a sign of weakness, but I had to accept that I hadn't done this on my own. Admitting that throughout this entire journey, there has been someone there for me and some fashion was very difficult for me. I was of the mentality that I was unshakeable and didn't need anyone's help. That was a lie I told myself there is no strength and going to war alone and in retrospect, I came to recognize that I stood with a thousand troops behind me.
The truth was that I was too scared to be vulnerable and to acknowledge that I couldn't do everything on my own being afraid to seek help was a key factor and how I got caught in the vortex, to begin with.
There are so many incredible people who have shaped my existence and helped me on this past. I listed those people in the acknowledgment section and could write an entire book on the experiences and interactions I had with them and the impact that they have had on my life. Those people loved me, cared for me, instilled hope and me, help me in school, force me to hold myself to a higher standard, and ultimately had become the driving force for how I view myself from the world.
I didn't love myself or allow those people to love me because I was too scared. Now, I recognize those people to be entirely a part of my journey and I don't question my courage, or my strength or my toughness or aptitude because I need help.
You need help.
And as a warrior going to battle, you need a team of people behind you. There is only one way to be victorious in this battle together.
BECOMING UNBROKEN, RESILIENCY GRATITUDE
The chances that you have made it this far on your own are slim to none. At some point, someone has been there for you.
It is totally natural to feel that you are all alone and that no one has supported you but if you take a moment and look deep within you, you will find that is not true. From childhood until now, there must have been one, if not more people who have supported you in your journey.
This exercise is about writing a letter to that person, and this is an exercise for you to step into gratitude.
Now, I challenge people to write this letter and to share it with them via email or text message because here's the truth about life.
One day, we are going to die, and I don't know about you, but I don't want to leave anything unsaid and more so I have found incredible support by reaching out to those people just to say, thank you. Not only to acknowledge the power that they've given me but also to acknowledge the fact that I feel it necessary to reciprocate my gratitude.
So often in this life, we forget that there are people who are there for us or who have been there for us. And I don't want us to live life leaving that on the table because just a single text message, a single email could change someone's life, who has supported you and I think one of the least things that we can do is be grateful for that.
Gratitude is such a big part of this journey and I challenge you before you continue, before you go on, take 10 minutes and write an email, write a text, write a letter and send this to a person that has impacted your life for the better.
Michael Unbroken
Coach
Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.
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