JOIN YOUR NEXT LIVE WEEKLY COACHING SESSION!
Sept. 23, 2022

Alara Sage - Healing to FIND True North | Trauma Healing Coach

Are you missing something right now, like connection and fulfillment? In this episode, I sit with Alara Sage, a teacher, mentor, and...
See show notes at: https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/alara-sage-healing-to-find-true-north-trauma-healing-coach/#show-notes

Join our FREE COMMUNITY as a member of the Unbroken Nation: https://www.thinkunbrokenacademy.com/share/AEGok414shubQSzq?utm_source=manual 

Join and pre-register at Unbroken Con at: https://unbrokencon.com/

Are you missing something right now, like connection and fulfillment?

In this episode, I sit with Alara Sage, a teacher, mentor, and healer.

Today, we talk about how to align with your heart's purpose to create true fulfillment and how to find your purpose and true north that will help you in your healing journey. 

************* LINKS & RESOURCES *************

Learn how to heal and overcome childhood trauma, narcissistic abuse, ptsd, cptsd, higher ACE scores, anxiety, depression, and mental health issues and illness. Learn tools that therapists, trauma coaches, mindset leaders, neuroscientists, and researchers use to help people heal and recover from mental health problems. Discover real and practical advice and guidance for how to understand and overcome childhood trauma, abuse, and narc abuse mental trauma. Heal your body and mind, stop limiting beliefs, end self-sabotage, and become the HERO of your own story. 

Download the first three chapters of the Award-Winning Book Think Unbroken: Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma: https://book.thinkunbroken.com/ 

Join the Think Unbroken Trauma Transformation Course: https://coaching.thinkunbroken.com/ 

@Michael Unbroken: https://www.instagram.com/michaelunbroken/ 

Follow us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@michaelunbroken 

Learn more at https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com 

Learn more about Alara Sage at: https://www.alarasage.com/

Support the Podcast: Become a listed sponsor!

Follow me on Instagram @MichaelUnbroken

Learn more about coaching at https://coaching.thinkunbroken.com

Get your FREE copy of my #1 Best-Selling Book Think Unbroken: https://book.thinkunbroken.com/

Transcript

Michael: Hey! What's up, Unbroken Nation. Hope that you're doing well wherever you are in the world today. I'm very excited to be back with you with another episode with my guest, Alara Sage, who is a teacher, mentor and healer. Alara, my friend, how are you? What is happening in your world today?

Alara: I'm doing fantastic, it's another beautiful day here in Sedona.

Michael: Lovely. I want to be there because I've had some experiences there in the past and it's just such a gorgeous place, so, I am in full agreement with you. Before we get in the conversation tell us a little bit about your backstory, your journey, and what has brought you to where you are today.                                                                                   

Alara: Yes. Thank you very much for having me here. I mean, I have this really uncanny ability to follow my heart, it's something I've done since I was a child. And at the age of 19 years of age, I really was certain I was going to university, I was always driven in that sense. And I just had this pull all of a sudden out of nowhere to go and travel and like not go to university. And I remember just crying on the floor, like in tears, so confused, you know, thinking I've been university driven all my life and now I have this desire to go travel the world. And luckily, I had very supportive parents, my mom just said, yeah, go do it while you can. So, I went and traveled and I became a scuba diving instructor, which really fueled me, it really fueled just who I was and it lit me up and every single day I was doing what lit me up. So, intrinsic to my being, being out in nature, being in the water and being with people and teaching scuba diving to people. But that only lasted so long, you know, you can't be a scuba diver laid into your years. And it wasn't something that I had really felt that I was gonna do forever. So, I kind of got out of that and I became very lost, I had no idea who I was or what I wanted to do, and that really led me down this road of purposelessness. And interestingly enough, I became very, very sick, I had all of these physical ailments start showing up and things from my past, like Lyme's disease, reoccurred, and EBV, I had all these things reoccurring and I was like chronically fatigued and I couldn't eat anything, everything was upsetting my stomach like I had a list of symptoms. And it was so intriguing because you know, of course you go to the doctor when you're sick and so, I went to doctor after doctor, after doctor, and they all just basically shrugged their shoulders at me and said they had no idea what was wrong with me. And I even had one doctor he was a friend of my husbands at the time and he said that he expected me to come in some level of depression, but I wasn't, I was like bright eyed and cheery, except that I was chronically sick. And, you know, he was shocked, he said, I thought this was gonna be a depression type diagnosis. And so, basically, I got no answers from anybody at one point, I just determined, like, you know, I just have to start to do this for myself, I don't know what's wrong with me, but I have to do something like I can't live my life in this way anymore. So, I started to make a lot of changes to my diet and I mean, I did a lot of different things the list would be endless of what I did for myself, but really, I just started to really ultimately pursue my own personal joy and it wasn't easy because I didn't have a lot of joy in the moment, I was really sick. I couldn't even like, you know, go for a light walk or anything. I was spent most of my time on the couch, but I just kept taking tiny little bites out at things that I felt lit me up from the inside. And I continued to address my physical body as best as I could as a non-doctor and I healed myself. And I even had an infectious disease doctor, he diagnosed me with chronic Lyme and then he took the test again and he said that I was cured from it. And I remember asking him, well, isn't that impossible? And he was like, yeah, and then he didn’t really have anything else to tell me after that it was kinda like the end of the conversation. But it was my own journey of really realizing really who I was in the context of who I am now as a healer, but also as a person who helps people to realign themselves in their life because I believe very strongly that a large part of what got me sick was, I had no purpose, I was completely lost in who I was. If somebody would've asked me, who are you? What are you doing? What do you want to do? What are your desires? What are your visions of yourself? I would not have had an answer.

And so, that really brought me around to helping other people. I knew I didn't want to heal people in the sense of become a doctor or anything like that, but I knew that I had this purpose now to help other people kind of like realign themselves and really find their true north is what I call it. And I'm started meditating and I started a spiritual practice, which I had never done before and basically things just started happening to me. And I really started to learn about energy and to learn about subtle energies and I was already psychic as a child, but I had lost that skill. So, all of those skills reinvented themselves within my space and I stepped into honestly, the most glorious life I could ever have imagined myself to be in.

Michael: Yeah, that's an incredible story. You know, I think about innately the body has this ability to heal itself. You have the ability to create this massive change in your life. There's so much to uncover in that process between childhood traumas and abuse and mindsets and limiting beliefs, and then understanding energy. And, you know, I try to err on the side of being like too woo-woo in my own personal life, but I'll tell you what, I've never had a more profound experience than like being in a sound meditation on an island in Thailand as the sun was setting, you know what I mean? And there's like something really healing about the vibrational energy of the world and the universe and to be dismissive of that, I think is to your own parallel. I mean, we're literally sitting on this ball spinning in the middle of the universe, that's so expansive we have no idea. So, you know, I always try to err on the side of just curiosity, probably more so than anything. What do you think if you were to kind of narrow it down and look at the most dramatic shift that happened for you, what would it be like how would you convey that?

Alara: Well, there was a moment. So, with the chronic Lymes, you know, I got diagnosed by two doctors with that. And so, I started going down a rabbit hole of what is chronic Lymes. And I just wanna start off with like, I wasn't into spirituality, I like actually wasn't into woo-woo at all. So, it wasn't like I was leaning towards that side. I was really like, I don't know, you know what to do with myself. So, as I got diagnosed, I started to do all this research and read what is chronic Lymes and what does it do? And there's something called spiral kids with chronic Lymes. And it says that around the full moons, they get like activated and you get what's called a her's reaction like you have a, like an episode kind of thing. And so, as I was reading this, I started to experience Lyme's disease more intensely, and then the full moon would come around and I'd be like, oh, I feel so much worse. And I just that's fascinating just for happening and then I started watching myself and I started to just observe what was happening and I saw how I was reading this information. And then in some way it was happening more. And I mean, I now completely understand what was happening, but at the time again, I wasn't into woo-woo stuff, I wasn't into spirituality. But I saw the pattern and I saw that I was perpetuating this and I'm not saying that illness is a perpetuation in any way, shape or form, I think it's real, but I was adding to it. And so, one day I just said to myself, I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop even saying that I had it. I'm just gonna start speaking to myself completely differently. And I just shifted, and that was the point that I started to pull out of it, it took still a lot of effort and a lot of time, but that was my turning point.

Michael: You know, that made me think of I interviewed Kelly Gores a few years ago who created the Documentary Heal. And a big part of her journey, which was also part of mine and obviously I hear in yours was just shifting the way you talk to yourself about that, because there there's so much power in your mind, but I wanna rewind before we go down that path ‘cause I think it's really fascinating and it's held true in my life. But what were you doing to perpetuate it? Like what were the things that were happening that were action items that you were ticking off in your day-to-day life to help induce or even, you know, have these moments in which it got worse?

Alara: Yeah, definitely just literally saying I have chronic, but I would talk about it all the time I have it and it was a real ownership. Right. Like, I was owning that I had it and not in a way of like, I have it and I'm ready to heal from it. I was like, I have it and it's holding me back.

Michael: It's was it like a death sentence kind of conversation?

Alara: Yeah. I feel like it was, you know, and then again, the full moon and I'm divorced now, but at the time he was my husband, I'd be like, yeah, so every time the full moon comes, the spiral keeps do this. And then there's her reactions and I would say it all, I would like tell the story and then I would go through the exact story. And when I would talk to people, I would tell them all my symptoms and I just kept verbalizing everything.

Michael: There's like a reinforcement in that, right? Because where attention goes, energy follows. And I think that applies to so many facets of life. I mean, in the same way that you can tear yourself down, you can build yourself up with that energy. And so, as you're in this and what I hear really, probably more so than anything is just acknowledgement, but acknowledgement in a way that isn't about. And I don't wanna put words in your mouth, but this is what comes to my mind is acknowledgement without victimhood ultimately becomes a shifting point. Does that sound true for you?

Alara: Yes, definitely. And I feel like there's a balance between not being a victim and then also not like dismissing that it's happening to you, right. This like ability to say, okay, this is happening to me, but I want to experience something else.

Michael: Yeah. And in that, like, how did you come to terms with that? ‘Cause I think a lot of people listening will be in this place where physically, mentally, emotionally they're dealing with something. Right. And, you know, I had Dr. Caroline Leaf on who was one of the world's most renowned experts in the human brain. She goes, you know, if you talk to yourself in a certain way, that will be your truth, that will be your reality something I reiterate all the time. But for you, like what became the shift? Like was it like a rock bottom moment? Were you just looking at your life? For me, it became, I'm tired of my own shit so I'm gonna try this other thing, but like what happened for you?

Alara: It was that moment where I just realized that I was creating it through my voice. And then I literally said no more, I'm not gonna say I have, I'm not gonna speak about it anymore and I literally said out loud, I'm going to heal myself. And my voice started to say to everybody, I'm healing myself. I'm healing myself, I'm healing myself. And so, instead of I have all of these symptoms, I have all of this, I just shifted and it was just one point where it was like a light bulb went. I was just shown how I was creating and perpetuating it further. And so, as soon as I realized that I owned it, I said, all right, that's what I'm doing and now I'm gonna do this and I just started speaking out loud in a forward movement.

Michael: What happened after that? Because I think, you know, there's obviously probably a gap in time between feeling like you should feel and that moment of decision. So, what started to transpire? What was the journey to healing?

Alara: I mean, it definitely took time and effort and I feel like one of our strongest traits is our conviction of what we believe. And I've always had this ability to say, I'm gonna do this. And when I say it to myself, like, I won't say something to myself, unless I'm going to do it because to me I've never wanted to lie to myself, like if I say I'm gonna get up every day and work out, I won't say that to myself until I'm ready. And so, as soon as I said that to myself, it was all about taking action in that direction, you know? So, I just started to, I mean, I honestly don't even completely remember everything I did. But I just was really open to what my intuition was driving me towards as far as taking action every single day. And there were a lot of days where I felt like I would take a step forward and then take five steps back but I would, again, just reiterate to myself, I can do this because everything I've ever told myself; I can do, I have done. And again, I have that, I've had that since I was a child, so I have that to lean on. And so, I was always like, nope, I said, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it even if it takes, you know, 10 years, which it didn't. But so, it was about those tiny steps forward, tiny steps forward. And then there was a point where it's kind of like a snowball, you know, going down the hillside I always get that vision I don't know why. Where it starts to really double in size and so there was a point that my body just hit where it started to feel a lot better and then it just really shifted extravagantly.

Michael: That's beautiful. And I would have to imagine that other areas and aspects of your life started to shift as well.

Alara: Yeah, well, I mean, I ended up getting a divorce.

Michael: I don't think that's the parlay people expected.

Alara: Yeah, it was at no fault. I mean, we had a beautiful relationship and I love him dearly, we have children together. But it was because the whole process is about who am I that's really what I was trying to get myself to acknowledge through all of that. And so, that question really started to point to me that I was again in this space of purposelessness and who did I really wanna be? And what did I really wanna do? And I really wanted to help people. And it did start going into this very, very spiritual realm and very energetic and subtle and psychic and healing. And my partner, he was very analytical and very finance numbers guy, and we weren't on the same plane. It absolutely radically shifted my entire reality.

Michael: That's interesting. And I think the question that most people are consumed with is who am I? You know, it's one of the greatest challenges that we face and the human experience in my opinion is trying to get to that place. So, was it the experiences that you were having? Was it the work, like what was bringing you to this place where you had the willingness to answer that question for yourself?

Alara: I am such a positive individual, and like I said, I've had this uncanny ability to follow my heart, so, I've had a really wonderful life. I mean, I was a scuba diving instructor for eight years. I traveled the world like I've just had a really good life. I mean, I've had my struggles, but that was like the lowest point of my life ever. And so, to me it was like something isn't right here like, I've never felt like this, I'm not this kind of person like, not that that's a kind of person. Right. But that's just what was going through my head at the time. And so, it was like this there's gotta be something more to this like again, my intuition was biting me to understand that there was something more than just like Lymes or EBV like there was something deeper going on.

And so, it was through my process of owning that and moving through that, that I started to get the messages intuitively of what was really occurring. And that was my big slap that was my big wake up call, that was my big, you're not true north right now, you're really off center, you're off filter.

Michael: Where does that come from though? Was it because of the status of your relationship of your health? Like, because I think there's always signs, right? There's always something right here, but what prompted you to actually listen? Because I think for people and myself too, I always include myself in this kind of conversation like sometimes these fucking signs it's like right there pay attention. Right. But what prompted you to actually be willing to step into that? Because there's a lot of trust that somebody has to have for themselves to have the willingness to go into and sometimes it's dark, right? Like, like how do you get to that place?

Alara: No, it was definitely my health because I had started working out when I was like 15 years of age, I was always very active and I always felt good emotionally, mentally, and physically. So, I mean, I was on the couch for hours and hours a day, unable to move, you know, just feeling exhausted and I couldn't eat everything I ate, my body was I had intense, intense stomach cramps that like folded me over in pain for hours. I mean, it was so extreme and my body had never really acted like that. And so that kind of like intensity to me was again, what was like, there's something wrong here because it didn't, you know, there was nothing that happened to me, right? You know, went somewhere and up a sickness, it wasn't like I got in a car crash there wasn't this like moment I just started getting very sick, very quickly. So, there was nothing I could point it to and be like, oh, well, that makes sense because yeah, you know, I got in a car crash, so it makes sense that I now, you know, have a broken leg like it was like, why am I getting sick? And then I just started getting worse and worse and worse. And we had our house mold tested, you know, there was nothing that I could point to seemingly external of myself and so, I had no choice, but to point it at myself.

Michael: That's interesting, that's actually a really interesting concept because then that means that you've eliminated all of their possibility. And you know, I had this thought as you were speaking just now, and I wonder if, you know, if you've ever read the Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, there's this an experience of, you know, your body truly will give you signs, it will give you indications, it will show you what you want to avoid and I think that's a really true way of saying that. Do you think that there was a part of yourself you weren't living into and that's why your body was kind of rebelling against you?

Alara: Yes, 100%. You know, I got married for the wrong reasons, I was living a life that just wasn't me. And at no fault of, you know, my ex-husbands at all, it was my choice. And I found myself really living the life that he wanted and not living the life that I wanted. And I found myself moving further and further away from again what brought me joy and what really lit me up. And you know, looking back afterwards, I could see how my body had given me signs, I could see how there had been signs that I hadn't seen and recognized. And so again, the getting really sick really quickly was to me that really big smack to wake up.

Michael: Did that feel like a stress response?

Alara: I'm not really sure how to answer that question. I feel like it was my higher self, telling me that I was off my path and it forced me to pay attention. I'm super grateful for it of course, now.

Michael: Yeah, I resonate with that a lot. And for me it was a very similar experience like I just, the more I moved away from what felt like to be true for me, the more sick I started to get in my late twenties. And I mean, there were other reasons too, but I think like a big part of it was just the lack of paying attention, the lack of care, the lack of, you know, the showing up daily as who I wanted to be, because this terrifying aspect of the need to fit in, to be fulfilled through other people, to hopefully feel like I can have connection with people by being what they want. And I think you're right there, you know, your higher self, that part of you that knows what you're capable of doing is like, Hey, dummy, pay attention. And if you don't pay attention, it will show you ways to pay attention. And so, I'm curious as you proceed and you continue to step into life as you are being optimistic, which I think is a really beautiful trait. How do you navigate that moment in which you're like, okay, I have to make this really hard decision? How do you reconcile that with yourself while you have all this chaos of life happening? You know, whether that be changing lifestyle or, you know, having a divorce or stepping into ultimately what your power is ‘cuz I think so often we wanna hold on so tightly, right? And I'm sure you see this in the people that you work with and the people you mentor, like there's this need for the continuation of for lack of a better way to phrase it suffering. And so, I'm wondering, you know, what is it that you've seen in yourself that you help other people discover in the willingness to kind of step into what is next?

Alara: Yeah, definitely. As I've gone through my process, my availability to go off of what I call true north is smaller and smaller. And so, I always call it like sandpaper on the side of my face like if I start to kind of veer, it starts to feel like a little bit of friction. And so first off, I'm much more in tune to that, the subtle signs and the subtle friction and so, I immediately write myself. But to answer your question, you know, to me, it's just not worth it like what I have experienced when I have gone off true north has always been painful, whether that's emotional, physical, or mental pain. And, you know, I think part of the journey is falling off, it is going off of true north, ‘cuz I always say with my clients, like I always tell 'em it's like, you know, it's on your train of true self and you gonna to fall off. And every time you fall off it hurts, and then you get back on and you're like, oh, this feels so much better and then you're gonna fall off again. And it's important to fall off because every time you fall off, you reestablish in yourself and you deepen into what do I truly value here? What do I really want for myself? And what we want is that piece? We want that centeredness. We want that joy. We want that fulfillment. We want that happiness that comes from being our most authentic truest version of ourself. And yes, we get pulled off because of society or because of pressure, because of things that we think we're supposed to be doing or how we think we're supposed to be acting or by being accepted or appreciated by others. But every time we do that, we're gonna hit some pain point that's the whole point of pain. It's like sticking your hand on a hot stove, the whole point is to draw our awareness to it. Right. So, we can be like, oh my hands on a hot stove I should take it off. So, the pain is our teacher, it is the thing that's trying to help us see, when am I not feeling that pain?

So, for me, I don't try to tell my clients to not feel it or to not do it. Like every time they do it, I'm right there with them supporting them and helping them understand, okay, so, what action did you take that created that pain? And then how did that feel? Right. And just being really honest with yourself, how did that feel? Being able to look at it and be present with how you feel ‘cause when you can really acknowledge, yeah, that hurt or, yeah, I don't feel so good or, ah, I don't wanna be here then you're setting yourself just like I did in that pivotal moment of, wow, I'm creating this by emphasizing it via my voice soon as I acknowledged and really was present with the fact that I was doing that and I didn't want to feel that way, that's such a valuable point of awareness. So, as soon as you notice that, and you really acknowledge how you're feeling and that you took action that created that feeling, and now you can take action to pull yourself out of that feeling, that's really such a valuable teaching moment for yourself.

Michael: Yeah, it truly is. And there's a space in that to give yourself a ton of grace and some empathy and recognize like, you're gonna fuck up like, it's just part of this journey and to be okay with that. One of the things I wanna rewind a little bit that you said that I think is really important, that I don't want to overshadow and I think about this every single day, it's like, how do you mitigate the risk of the rock bottom, being the determining factor in creating change in your life? And you said, you know, you pay attention to these small signs, it's like sandpaper on your face, what are the small signs? Cause if I think of people can pay attention a little bit sooner, maybe rock bottom, doesn't have to happen.

Alara: I love that so much. And our emotions are our guidance system. So, when we're feeling what we call high vibratory emotions, joy, bliss, gratitude, love, appreciation, grace, forgiveness, those are high vibratory emotions, those are trying to simply point that, Hey, what you are believing in the moment, what you're experiencing and or believing in the moment is an alignment with your true self. And the lower of vibratory emotions, which are not bad, one's not bad and one's not good, they're just different. Right. I wanna emphasize that low vibratory emotions like shame, hate anger, judgment, frustration, anxiety, sadness which can go either way, ‘cuz you can be grieving as well, but you know, just like more just like sadness over life. Those emotions are trying to point to you where you are believing or experiencing something that is actually not true north for you. And so, as you start to, again, really become aware of how am I feeling? And I do this all the time with my clients. I have them start to become vulnerable with themselves by literally saying out loud to themselves throughout the day. You know, nobody has to be around, but I'm feeling this and just like acknowledging it and owning it from a space of compassion and love for self like I'm feeling angry, I'm feeling frustrated, I'm feeling pretty peaceful, right? Whatever it, just really owning it for yourself then you are gonna start to have awareness for what it is in your life that you're experiencing and doing and thinking, and then thus what emotions you're having because of that. And you start to become more and more subtle, where you are living a very high vibratory life you're living and joy and gratitude and bliss. And then the most subtle is thing will start to bring in another emotion and it's like, oh, wonderful. What is that emotion trying to teach me? What is it trying to show me rather than like, I don't wanna feel this. Right. It's like, okay, what are you trying to show me? Like, frustration is my biggest teacher. For me, it's like, oh, there's a little bit of frustration, sweet. I just stop. I breathe. What am I trying to show myself here? And I always get shown and then I just get to rewrite myself and it's very quick and easy and continuous.

Michael: What do you do when you get stuck and trapped in an emotion? When you're beating yourself up, where you're looping in sadness, you're looping in anger and frustration and guilt and shame and it just seems to be at the forefront that this lower vibration is kind of taking control over your life. Like what do you do when that's happening?

Alara: There's a couple of different things we can do. I'm gonna say a couple of things. One, you can acknowledge that, you know, in English we say, I am sad, I am angry and there's other languages that say things like sadness is upon me which I really like, because it's not identifying like you are not the sadness, you're not the anger, whatever emotion you're feeling that's not actually who you are. So, sometimes just acknowledging like, Hey, I'm feeling sadness, that doesn't mean that I am sadness or anger, etcetera can help create a buffer it's called the observer witness. It just allows us to observe the emotion without saying that's me because I'm sad, that means I'm a sad person or I'm an angry person. So, it creates a little bit of a buffer and it allows for you to just to simply observe the emotion and that allows the space for the emotion to move through your space. However, sometimes it's really intense. Right. And even doing that, doesn't really seem to pull us out of that, that's where I feel like taking action can really help pull us out of that. Taking action, doing something that you love, doing something that lights you up, being with people that you feel seen and heard by just spending time with them. For me going through my divorce and my big transition of all of this, I spent a lot of time every single day I was out in Gaia in nature because I would have all these emotions and I would go out there and she would just like, basically suck 'em right out of me is what I always say. But having something and having a toolbox, it's important to know what things already having that list in your head? This I like to do, I like to do this. And so having that toolbox ready so you're not in that intense emotion, trying to figure out, oh, what is it that brings me joy ‘cause when you're really sad, you can't always connect to that. So, if you have that toolbox already taking action to pull yourself out of that, cuz action is how we actualize energy into the physical reality. So, if we take action in something that literally brings us joy, it's gonna help move that energy.

Michael: Yeah, I love that. And I think one of the really difficult conversations that you have to have with yourself when you are trapped in an emotion is well, especially a negative emotion, right? You can also get trapped in positive emotions, trust me, the world is not always as sunny as we want it to be. But especially when you're trapped in those negative emotions, like there is a literal sense of forcing that out through action, right? Going and walking in nature, or meditating, journaling going to the gym, moving your physical body, having dinner with friends, like whatever that thing is, because if we're often, I think there comes this place where you're in rumination to the point of destruction. And I think that's really dangerous because you know, you start to loop in your mind and you go, okay, this is who I am and I love what you pointed to in the idea about not being your emotion. And I think about it every day you're not your emotions; emotions are a part of life and the things that are happening to us and you don't have to be trap into it, but you have to be very cognizant, like you must pay attention. And I think that the more you know, listen to a show like this, or read books or have mentors, the more you understand how to navigate that and that certainly took me a long time to be able to understand. As someone is going through this, and they're wanting to step into these other emotions they're learning, they're taking action, they're doing these things, but they're not sure they're kind of where you were a few years ago and they're like, I feel purposelessness, I feel like I don't know what to do, there's a lot of things calling to be, but nothing interests me, blah, blah. Well, you know, whatever that may be. What advice do you have for someone or what do you do really, to find purpose, to find that true north in that direction you should be heading in your life?

Alara: Yeah. What comes through right now is a lot of times, some level of community can really help us. And I'm not really a community person, which kind of makes me laugh when I say that it comes through. But you know, even just community as in friends and people, that again, you feel connected to. So, if there's something that you like to do that you don't think is your purpose, but you can go and be a part of something with other people it starts to again, give us the sense of purposefulness. And then it starts to ignite us, but really how I work with clients ‘cause a lot of times people come to me and they don't know what their purpose is. And so, it is about asking yourself difficult questions and it is about that constant I personally love self-inquiry of just like, I even do it still to this day, I have a very successful business and like I don't even know how many days out of a month I'm like, huh? I don't know. Is this still what I should be doing? Because there's always that availability to shift, to change, to grow. So, when you start really asking yourself, you just start asking the question, what do I really want to do? What really lights me up? What can I really think of myself as doing that would bring me fulfillment, bring me joy and not needing to know the answer right away? ‘Cause unless you're tapped into your higher self, you're most likely not gonna get an instant answer, but if you ask questions, the answers will come. You just have to ask the question, put it out there, keep asking and be ready for that guidance through your physical reality.

Michael: Yeah, I love that and that's so true. And I say all the time, like if I wake up tomorrow and I realize like, I don't wanna do this anymore, it's over. It's done. You know, and I think, that's such an important part of the human experience is not to be dogmatic about your own experiences and realize like change is inevitable and because you did something for eight years does not mean you have to do it for nine and vice versa and I think there's a sense of freedom in that, there's an ability to really discover who you are, you hear so often about people who they kind of just reinvent themselves time and time again. I mean, you know, look at someone like Madonna, she's had a career for like, 40 years and she's a different person all the time with the willingness to tap into that. Now I think that applies true to us in real life as well and to honor that and to hold that and to see what happens, because you'll be surprised, right? You know, one day you're like, oh, I'm corporate executive and then next thing you're like, I have a podcast. Right. Like that's how life goes and it's really fascinating. Right. What thing do you think would be most practical and important for people to take away as they start to head into what's next in their life?

Alara: I can't emphasize enough that connecting to the things that really bring you joy, you know, our society has really kind of dumbed those down and we've been this big focus on career and success, and even a focus on family. And maybe you find a lot of joy in isolation, whatever that is like, really connecting to those things and making time and space for those because what that does is it really lights us up energetically every time, we engage in those activities for ourself. And the more that we do that, the more that true north for ourselves becomes apparent and we get to see it and then we can take action towards it.

Michael: Yeah, that's so true and honoring that for yourself too. Even today, I was just thinking to myself, it's time to sign up for Muay Thai again, you know, after a surgery I had in February, I was like, I miss that happiness, that brings me that martial arts bring me. So, yeah, just honoring that, putting that into your life I love that you said that about joy because you're right, we live in a very career, family, money, possession oriented, experience. And just last night I was on a walk and there was a woman sitting at the lake, like drawing the lake with pastels, it's just this beautiful piece of art and I was like, that person is in their place right now. And you know, I think a lot of people unfortunately feel fear about the things that make them happy and I hope, and I encourage that they will go and step into that fear and find out how in your words joyful, it certainly can be. Alara my friend this has been a phenomenal conversation before I ask you my last question, can you tell everyone where they can find you?

Alara: Yes, definitely my website, www.alarasage.com. And I'm also on YouTube, so they can just search Alara Sage. I have a lot of free content on there, so I'm always bringing free videos and free content. I'm also on Instagram @alarasage so, any of those three places are excellent.

Michael: Brilliant. And of course, we'll put the links in the show notes. My last question for you, my friend, what does it mean to you to be unbroken?

Alara: What comes up for me is resilience. Again, what I was saying before is falling off the train is just as important as staying on the train. And it reminds me of like soft tissue when soft tissue breaks, it comes back together and with scar tissue, which is actually stronger than just the regular tissue. So, to me, unbroken is the ability to fall off and to dust yourself off and to get back on.

Michael: Brilliantly said my friend. Thank you so much for being here. Unbroken Nation. Thank you so much for listening.

Please like, subscribe, comment, share.

Tell a friend.

And Until Next Time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

I'll see you.

Michael UnbrokenProfile Photo

Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.

Alara SageProfile Photo

Alara Sage

teacher, mentor, healer

Alara Sage is a teacher, mentor and healer. She works with the courageous, those who are willing to show up and who deeply desire to live an authentic, creative, pleasurable and fulfilled life. With over 15 years of training and experience she can hone in on individuals and assist them to unlock their full potential.

Using her methodology, she helps people to bridge the gap between conceptual understanding of mind/body/spirit and the true embodiment of higher levels of consciousness.

She lives what she teaches and shares from her own experiences. She is courageous, authentic and powerful yet tender and compassionate.

Her clients tell her that she has a unique way of seeing life that allows her to express in a way that they can relate to easily. They feel seen by her and connect easily to what she teaches.