July 16, 2025

How To Overcome Rock-Bottom in Five Steps

In this episode, Michael shares his powerful journey from rock bottom to transformation and provides five actionable strategies for anyone feeling stuck, hopeless, or trapped in destructive cycles. Drawing from his own experience of being 350 pounds, smoking two packs a day, and drinking himself to sleep at age 25 after a traumatic childhood filled with abuse, homelessness, and addiction, Michael offers hard-won wisdom for those ready to change their lives.

Michael emphasizes that "the work works if you do the work," that change happens one moment and one decision at a time, and that the skills that got you to rock bottom won't get you out, requiring humility and letting go of ego.

************* LINKS & RESOURCES *************

Learn how to heal and overcome childhood trauma, narcissistic abuse, ptsd, cptsd, higher ACE scores, anxiety, depression, and mental health issues and illness. Learn tools that therapists, trauma coaches, mindset leaders, neuroscientists, and researchers use to help people heal and recover from mental health problems. Discover real and practical advice and guidance for how to understand and overcome childhood trauma, abuse, and narc abuse mental trauma. Heal your body and mind, stop limiting beliefs, end self-sabotage, and become the HERO of your own story.

Join our FREE COMMUNITY as a member of the Unbroken Nation: https://www.thinkunbrokenacademy.com/share/AEGok414shubQSzq?utm_source=manual

Download the first three chapters of the Award-Winning Book Think Unbroken: Understanding and Overcoming Childhood Trauma: https://book.thinkunbroken.com/

Join the Think Unbroken Trauma Transformation Course: https://coaching.thinkunbroken.com/

@Michael Unbroken: https://www.instagram.com/michaelunbroken/

Our sponsors:

* Check out Babbel: babbel.com/UNBROKEN

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/think-unbroken-with-michael-unbroken-childhood-trauma-cptsd-and/exclusive-content

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Support the Podcast: Become a listed sponsor!

Follow me on Instagram @MichaelUnbroken

Learn more about coaching at https://coaching.thinkunbroken.com

Get your FREE copy of my #1 Best-Selling Book Think Unbroken: https://book.thinkunbroken.com/

If you are at rock bottom, if you feel like your life is a complete disaster and nothing is working, I want you to listen to today's episode. If you don't know my story, I'll share a little bit about it, but you can go to think unbroken podcast.com and listen to an entire episode. It's called Who is Michael?

And that'll tell you more about the journey. But the cliff notes are when I was 25, I was 350 pounds, smoking two packs a day, drinking myself to sleep. I was completely in disarray and I was blaming everyone else in the world for all of the problems of my life. But me and you know, my parents were drug addicts and alcoholics.

I spent a lot of my childhood homeless. I got separated from my siblings very young. I got molested. Uh, just brutal physical abuse, mental emotional abuse, things that I can't even begin to tell you. And. It just shaped my life and there's no way to escape it, right? And we all are impacted by the things that happened to us.

And you have to face that truth and that reality and all of that shapes who you become. And so I was on this path that inevitably was gonna lead me to this rock bottom, this place where I ended up. And so I'm gonna give you five things today. That you can do. If you wanna pull yourself outta rock bottom, they're not gonna be easy.

And maybe your rock bottom isn't where mine was on the verge of putting a gun in my mouth, looking at ending it all. Maybe your rock bottom is, you just can't get motivated. Nothing is shifting, nothing is working. You keep repeating bad cycles. You're in relationships that are the same relationship over and over again.

You're not taking care of your body. You're not taking care of your mind. You are, you know, smoking and drinking in excess and all the things. Maybe that's where you're at, right? Everyone's rock bottom looks different. But if you're stuck and you're just like, man, something's gotta give. I'm gonna give you five things right now.

Because they work. But what I always tell people, the work works if you do the work. So you've gotta show up first and foremost. You need to ask yourself a question, why am I lying to myself? And that's such a hard question to ask. Why am I lying to myself? Because it means that you're gonna have to take a hard look in the mirror and recognize that you are actually in this situation because of your choices and your decision.

yes, we're impacted by those around us, but it is ultimately us who make the decision to smoke the cigarette, to drink the alcohol, to have the next one night stand, to cheat in the relationship, to lie to our friends, to lie to our family, to do the thing we know we're not supposed to be doing. And so you have to begin with first and foremost, the truth.

I tell my clients every day, you have to stop lying. Nothing about your life is gonna be different until you do. Number two, you have to build a emotional frame where you make negotiation with yourself, unallowable. And what I mean by that is so many of us, we negotiate with ourselves about the thing we're supposed to be doing.

And the truth is, we know. What we're supposed to be doing. So many of us know this. We know what we are supposed to do, and yet we don't do it. Why? because we're lying to ourselves. And so what happens is now you're facing this wall where. There is this door that you have to kick down and until you kick down that door, which we can call many different things, from self-sabotage to, apathy, to whatever it is that you want to use, it's not until you make this decision that you do not negotiate with yourself that your life changes and not negotiating with yourself is about in that moment, right?

Because we all have this moment where we feel the thing. And it's that moment in which you do the thing or you don't do the thing, depending on what the thing is. But it is in that moment where the shift happens. And so if you're in this place where every day you're trying to make your life better, but you keep getting in your own way, and then you start to spiral, and then every day looks the same, you have to get to this place where you go, actually, you know what?

I'm not gonna negotiate with myself. I'm gonna pull off the bandaid. And I'm going to do what is required in this moment. Give you a great example right now as I record this podcast. That is the experience I'm having. Why? Because I knew it's on my to-do list to record a podcast today and the day's getting away, and I was like, you know what?

I need to go sit down and do this, and so I'm doing it and I don't negotiate with myself. I just say, Hey, now's the time. Go get it done. That is how my life changed forever with the gym, with smoking, with drinking, with partying, with everything. It all came down into this single moment of decision number three, and this is the hardest one.

You have to actually look at the places in your life where you're poisoning yourself, and you have to eliminate it because the reality is it's not just that you're in pain, but you're actively fueling your own destruction. Like when I think about this all the time in the past, there's these moments where it's like you're taking another hit, taking another hit like you're in the poison of it all. And you have to recognize that it is not until you stop poisoning yourself that your life will change. And here's what's so crazy about it. You're probably not even addicted to whatever the thing is, but you're deep in a coping mechanism. You're deep in that dark place where it's easier to numb than it is to face the reality.

And so one day at a time, it's like, what can you move away from? Because as humans we're either moving towards pleasure or away from pain, and so you have to make a decision, which are you moving either to or from? Because like the numbing. When you recognize what you're doing in whatever capacity you might be numbing, that's moving away from pain, the pain of the truth, the pain of the experiences of the past, the pain of the places you're not showing up today.

And getting into this place of sobriety, whatever that means, drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, your phone, video games. I don't know what it is for you, but when you move away from that place and into sobriety, the thing that happens is now you have to deal with who you are. That is a hard thing to do. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Like sitting on the edge of the bed sober, looking at my life, taking inventory. That is the hardest thing I've ever done. But that is the only place that your life changes. And so people will think like, ah, it's just 'cause I'm not disciplined. It has nothing to do with discipline and has everything to do with the fact that looking at yourself, nakedly in the mirror.

And dealing with the truth is the scariest thing that we do. Number four, we need something to move towards that we decide like something to get out of bed for a reason to show up. A lot of people who are listening to this, and you might be one of them, probably have kids or friends or close family members.

And it's really easy to leverage them for mission. Hey, when I show up better, I can support them better. But here's the truth, like sometimes at the beginning when you're in your darkest place, the mission is like, I'm going to brush my teeth twice today when I was 25, when I was at my kind of lowest, the hardest thing that I could do.

Was just get out of bed and brush my damn teeth. That felt like a war to me most times because I was just like so in it. I was so in the drugs, so in the alcohol, so in the horrible things that were continually taking from me that it was like, if I can just do one thing today, I'll feel like I accomplished something and it went from I can't brush my teeth to billboards in Times Square.

You know what I mean? that's such a crazy co even to me, it's such a crazy concept. Sometimes I look at my life and I don't even believe some of the things that I've been able to accomplish 'cause they feel surreal sometimes because I know where I started and I started so low that it was unrecognizable.

And so your purpose doesn't have to be this big, grandiose thing. It doesn't have to be a mission. I'm gonna go save the world. Mother Teresa. Because that wasn't me. That's not where I started this. It was like, I'm gonna brush my fucking teeth today. And so your purpose, your mission, whatever this is in front of you, it doesn't have to be about changing the world.

It just has to be changing one step at a time. It's just gotta be real. Number five, this is the thing that I wish somebody would've told me in the beginning. Because it would've expedited the path and the pace of which my journey was transpiring. And that's, you gotta get around people that challenge you to be better.

There's just no way around it. You need community, you need mentorship, and you need to be in the right environments with the right people who not only have your back, right, but also push you forward. I If you are in the rooms where people are telling you, oh, it's okay, don't worry about it, things will get better.

That's not good enough. 'cause you've already heard that. You know it and I know it. You need to be in the rooms with the people who help you identify where you're at. And then they say, okay, well what are you going to do about it? Let's create a frame. Let's create a game plan. Let's create a roadmap. Let's do what is necessary.

And when you get to that place, your life changes. And that's what happened for me. That's where the massive shift came from. Because I was challenged by men's groups and retreats and healing sessions and friends in my life who really wanted me to succeed. And I will tell you this, it's not that I still didn't screw up and make huge mistakes because I totally did.

You know, I can go look at my life at 32. I can look at my life at 35, 37, 39, I can go, man, I'm still making mistakes, but I'm also in groups of people who push me forward every single day. And so it's one of those things where if you're trying to do this alone, ask yourself this question. Why do you think the skills and knowledge that you have that got you to where you are are going to be the same skills and knowledge that are going to get you to where you want to be?

And that requires humility and it requires you letting go of your ego, because believe it or not, even in rock bottom, we're driven by our ego. We love suffering and being right in that. And so I want you to think about where can you get challenged and supported. I mean, obviously we think unbroken. We have some options.

You can reach out. Just go to think unbroken.com. But there's so many other places that you can get the thing that you need. From people around you, even in your own community. For some of you, AA is a great option. I went to aa, na sa, all the As. Just trying, just seeking. Just trying to figure out the right places.

I went to support groups, every kind that you can imagine, both online and in person. I did everything that I could with one purpose in mind to go forward into this journey and come out the other side a better person. And so those are the five things that I would do if I were where you are 'cause I've been there.

This is what I would do and I would be very, very serious about this. If you are stuck, if you're still like, man, I get this, I need more help on Instagram, message me at Michael Unbroken. I'm the only person on my team who checks my social media. I will message you back if you're stuck and you're like, man, I really don't know what to do and I need help.

I need support. I need something. Message me on Instagram @MichaelUnbroken.

So my friend, you got this. I know it's hard. I know it sucks. I know. Even listening to this, you're like, I get it. Trust me, I do. But I know what it looks like on the backside. So take care of yourself, take care of each other.

And Until Next, My Friend.

Be Unbroken.

I'll See Ya.