Gamifying Your Life for Success | with Jarvis Leverson

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[SPEAKER_00]: You're listening to the Think Unbroken Podcast, and I'm your host, Michael and Broken.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm an author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma and abuse.

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[SPEAKER_00]: In this podcast, you will learn how to transform your trauma in the triumph, turn breakdowns into breakthroughs, and go from victim to being the hero of your own story.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You can learn more at Think UnbrokenPonCast.com, and of course, check us out on Apple Podcasts

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[SPEAKER_00]: What if you have the ability to do something really cool with your life and that's to turn it into a game?

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[SPEAKER_00]: What if you could look at your life today?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And then in a year, look back and back, oh well, I just got all this experience point.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Look how great my life has become.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I have thought about that a lot over the years between habit trackers and this thing and that thing over here and all the things in the world that one can do, but recently I was talking with my great friend Jarvis Leverson who's about to join us about this thing called owning your life and making every day the best that it could possibly be.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Not to mention he's just written a brand new book every day that we're also going to get into.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I talk about how you can actually transform your life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I know you're probably thinking yourself, yeah, blah, blah, blah, I've heard this before, but you haven't heard it like this, because if you don't know, Jarvis was on a few years ago, he shared his amazing story about how he went from his mother's couch to building an amazing life, and we're going to go into the nuance of that today, as well as talk about things that are really important, like how we self-sabotage our upper limiting beliefs.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to share some of my very intimate journey over the last 18 months,

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[SPEAKER_00]: and hopefully you're gonna hang out with us as we do that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That said, Jarvis, my friend, welcome to the podcast.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's nice to see you again, brother.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Let's go.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Let's rock and roll.

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[SPEAKER_01]: No time to waste.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Let's get right into it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's get right into it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: How do you gamify your life?

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[SPEAKER_00]: What in the hell does that mean?

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, great question.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And so I'll kind of share a quick story.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I think you'll apologize in advance.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I talk in stories.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So I was talking with the friend of us.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So I was kind of like in our very first podcast, we did together.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I shared a lot about my life journey.

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[SPEAKER_01]: How I had it all.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I had all the success.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, it was the number one sales went from my company.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And then I lost it all.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I went from living in a penthouse to living in my mom's couch.

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[SPEAKER_01]: to restart my life all over again.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And they're on my mom's couch.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I was kind of, you know, I was starting to get into personal development.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I read the book, The Miracle Morning, which empowered me to start waking up early.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So I started getting up at five in the morning, and I started writing my goals and getting clear on, you know, with an ex-Phase in my life.

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[SPEAKER_01]: It was going to look like,

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[SPEAKER_01]: And I remember having a, I was talking to a friend of mine.

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[SPEAKER_01]: We used to be, you know, working in a business colleagues at a company that I worked with.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And he called me like, right kind of like, and when I was on the death of my low moments, you know, living in my large couch and he's like, man, Jarvis, hey, and I could appear there was this excitement on his voice.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And I said, he said, I was like, man, what's up, bro?

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[SPEAKER_01]: Like, what's where you get this,

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[SPEAKER_01]: infectious spirit.

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[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, oh man, I'm just coming off a hike.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I just, I just complete 365 days in a row of learning Spanish.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, okay, well, what's the big deal about that?

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[SPEAKER_01]: And he's like, no, JavaScript, you don't understand.

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[SPEAKER_01]: You see, like, so I know him and his family.

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[SPEAKER_01]: He's got this beautiful Mexican wife.

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[SPEAKER_01]: He's South African.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And so he has this thick South African accent.

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[SPEAKER_01]: He's got a Mexican wife that two beautiful children.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And his wife wanted their children to be raised deep in their Mexican roots.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And so she spoke to them in Spanish.

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[SPEAKER_01]: and then her mother was the kid's caretaker and that lived in the house with them.

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[SPEAKER_01]: There's their name, and so she spoke to the kids and spoke to everybody else in the house in Spanish.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And so all day long, his entire house only speaks Spanish, and he doesn't understand a word of it.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And so he was like, you don't understand how painful this has been for me.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Like every since my wife is me and my wife has been married, I can't communicate with anyone in my family.

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[SPEAKER_01]: In their native language, and I've struggled with this for years.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I've been trying to take classes, I've enrolled at the local college, and none of it stuck, like I've been busy, and I could never just, I could never build this habit.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, wow, man, okay, he was like, and, you know, I'm so excited, because yesterday I talked to my mother-in-law, I had a full conversation with my mother-in-law for the very first time in Spanish.

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[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, that's why this means so much to me.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, okay, I get it.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I get it.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, well, what was the difference?

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[SPEAKER_01]: What helped you build this to have it that you struggle it for so long?

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[SPEAKER_01]: He said, one of them is this app called Duolingo.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, do a lingo essentially it turned this learning Spanish into a game because every day I would get a high streak and I would get points and I would go off on these little challenges and like it pretty soon, it came about playing the game and trying to win the game and in the process of me just trying to win this game, I was learning Spanish in the process.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And he was like, so gosh, it was because do a lingo gamified it for me, I was able to stick with it.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And now it's just a part of my being.

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[SPEAKER_01]: It's just something I do every single day.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I just open the app and I take a Spanish lesson.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even think about it.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And so I got off the call with him.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, wow, that's powerful.

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[SPEAKER_01]: That's powerful how the psychology of turning it into a game, helped someone build this habit of learning Spanish.

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[SPEAKER_01]: It was like, if it could work for him for learning Spanish, that that same psychology work for other goals in life, goals that actually like help lead to your success and happiness.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Now I'm not saying learning Spanish doesn't really lead to success, but I was like, could it work for other more meaningful goals like your health, your wealth?

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[SPEAKER_01]: your relationships.

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[SPEAKER_01]: But we turn those things into a game.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And so that's why I went on this five year journey of trying to understand what other habits that lead to ultimate success and happiness and how do we gameify them, so that people can build ultimate consistency because what I know to be true is everyone knows what to do, knowing is the problem, doing it every day is the problem.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And so I believe your success is not a product of the things you do every now and then.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Your success in happiness is a product of the things you do every damn day.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And so I kind of went on this journey of how do you get, how do you build every damn day consistency and it's all came down to turning your life into a game?

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[SPEAKER_01]: And that's what I did.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And that's kind of what I talk about in this book is how to turn your life into a game so that you can build a five star life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's interesting because I don't believe that most people understand that their life is a game, like you are a player to game, and they don't understand that every decision that they make is either moving them to or away from their goals, to who it is that they choose to be, or just by happenstance and accident, somebody you end up becoming.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I grew up playing sports, I mean, when I was eligible, I was always getting kicked off the team for being, you know, a trouble maker and bad grades, but you know, I was doing what I had to do to survive and that's life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And, and I noticed in my first business, so I've only talked about this a couple of times, but I'm actually in award-winning destination wedding photographer.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I've been on top of the magazine, yeah, I've been on cover magazines, I've taught people, I've been on television shows, wait, we're talking about 10, 15 years, we're talking about 15

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[SPEAKER_00]: The thing that changed the business forever for me and kind of put me on the trajectory of success was the same thing that I did when I started my healing journey.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Was the same thing I did when I started this podcast.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Was the same thing that I did when I wrote the book.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Was the same thing that I did when I have now coached over 3,000 clients was the same thing I did when I won all these speaking work.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not like two-day-mown horn here, humble brags, but it's more of like it was all about, you see.

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[SPEAKER_00]: it was all about every single damn day.

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[SPEAKER_00]: How do I just do the thing I don't want to do?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's so crazy to do.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Life is so remarkably boring.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like in between the peaks and the valleys, like the deaths in the successes, life is very mundane.

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[SPEAKER_00]: people are like, how did you write of how did you do a thousand episodes of podcasts like this this moment with Jarvis right now.

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[SPEAKER_00]: How did I lose 150 pounds bro?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Same thing as this morning 630 a.m. on my way to the gym.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I did not want to go to the gym today dude.

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[SPEAKER_00]: There's so much about this, but it's not.

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[SPEAKER_00]: This is where I want to dive deep into you because what I've been thinking about so much lately It's not about like the fucking success man.

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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not about the billboard It's not about the novelty of the gold medal for me what it's really shifted into is can I just fucking prove it?

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[SPEAKER_00]: to myself.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think so many people get caught up because they think that success is a thing about cars and money and houses in first class travel and blah blah.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I've experienced all of that from homeless to that, but it's, that's not the driver.

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[SPEAKER_00]: The thing that I've tried to really leverage recently is like being in, I did what I said I was going to do.

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[SPEAKER_00]: You talked about this five-star life.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think I'm in a far five-star life, Jarvis.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I might be because I'm measuring And I'm I'm gonna ask your definition here in a second just creating more context.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm measuring the experience of where I'm in the movement Versus the experience of the life that I'm building into that I see ten years down the road and to be honest with you Even with all this I'm probably out of three point two star life and I need your point of measure to know that but that's me looking at this

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[SPEAKER_00]: What is a five star life?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Why should anyone care about a five star life?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And how do you get a five star life?

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, do you think you're on path to the 10 to the 10 your vision that you have?

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[SPEAKER_01]: 100%.

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[SPEAKER_01]: OK, so that's a five star life.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Like, five star life is you're living up to the full potential that I've got placed in you.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So you're using, you're using the wrong measurement.

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[SPEAKER_01]: You're measuring against what you think is the ideal, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: OK, that's not the right measurement.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So not that in destination, if you were draw a line, where are you on that point?

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[SPEAKER_01]: Are you on the line?

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[SPEAKER_01]: A straight path between where you used to be and where you think you'll be 10 years now.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Are you on that line or are you below it?

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[SPEAKER_01]: Are you, I did you did you coast and start settling for less than what you're capable of?

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[SPEAKER_01]: do you feel like you're living every day in your full potential and your full glory and then you're leaving everything on the table and that every day you're making progress?

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[SPEAKER_01]: If you are, then boom, yeah, out of the, but a lot of people aren't.

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[SPEAKER_01]: A lot of people have settled, they've, they start coasting, they start taking it easy, they life, you know, the, the hard part is

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[SPEAKER_01]: It's easy to grind when you're back against the wall.

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[SPEAKER_01]: The hard part is when life gets good.

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[SPEAKER_01]: How do you keep, how do you stay aggressive when you don't have to?

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[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm making, gosh, I'm making six figures.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I got a good house.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I got a decent car.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Like, why am I going to be up at five in a morning?

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[SPEAKER_01]: I ain't got to get after like that.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm good.

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[SPEAKER_01]: That's the hard part, and that's where a lot of people suffer.

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[SPEAKER_01]: That's where a lot of, that's the enemy of greatness is when life actually gets okay, and people start settling for okay when they were destined for greatness.

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[SPEAKER_01]: That's what I talk about in the book.

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[SPEAKER_01]: I talk about in the book.

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[SPEAKER_01]: There are a lot of people living beneath their potential.

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[SPEAKER_01]: when they could be getting more.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And there is this deep, there's deep, somewhere in there, they know this should, they could be doing more.

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[SPEAKER_01]: There's a, there's a side hustle they should be building.

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[SPEAKER_01]: They should be making more money.

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[SPEAKER_01]: They should be starting that nonprofit.

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[SPEAKER_01]: They should be in better health for their family and for their kids.

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[SPEAKER_01]: They should be sitting a better example.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm comfortable.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Right.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And so how do you stay like a aggressive and the aggressive pursuit of your full God given potential?

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[SPEAKER_01]: And that's kind of where that's what I talk about in the book.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Where, so where does that start then?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Because I think that I, growing up, come from nothing, right?

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[SPEAKER_00]: Being homeless as a kid, not having parents or drug addicts, whatever.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Right, I, I, I just always like I want to have something more.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't know what more meant.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I just knew that I wanted to get out of the hood.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I just knew that I wanted to not be dead.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I knew that I just wanted to be a good person.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Then it was like, well, now I'm 25 and life and 30 and life and 35 and life and 40 and life and all those things and then now I sit and I'm kind of looking at the path forward And the question I'm asking myself kind of on the daily basis is am I moving towards what it is that I believe I'm capable of doing

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[SPEAKER_00]: not for the sake of the accomplishment.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think that I've really started to hone into life as a journey, not a destination, right?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I think I've really really started to understand that.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And that came from, and this is a disconnect from reality for most people.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And guys, I know that, but I need to, let me help express this so you understand it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I was standing in front of my face on a billboard in Times Square, and then like six months later, I was doing it again.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And then both of those times, within the scope of like two minutes, I was like, all right, where are we eating dinner?

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[SPEAKER_00]: It was like it was just like a non thing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But I growing up at 18 years old going into New York City for the first time, standing in Times Square.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, one day I'm going to be on that billboard.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And it was a great accomplishment.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, don't, don't get me wrong.

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[SPEAKER_00]: But it, like, that wasn't the thing, right?

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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think people are so attached to the thing.

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[SPEAKER_00]: This is why we can, well, if, if your goal is to stay on the line, and that's the parallel of living a five-star life, where does accomplishment sit in this?

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[SPEAKER_00]: How do people navigate that?

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[SPEAKER_00]: How do they know if they're doing the right thing?

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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't, I don't want them just have lip service of like, go, have an amazing life, like, what's the purpose?

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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's a hard one because, I mean, we are uniquely tuned to always yearn for more, like as high as high motor people, as high achievers, as high ambition people, as people who have a high drive, you will always yearn for more.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So, so I want you to get this, there is no endgame, there is no end point, there is no accomplishment.

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[SPEAKER_01]: because when you when you figuratively get there, you've already set your sights on something further.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So the mountain always grows relative to where you are, meaning there is no peak of the mountain.

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[SPEAKER_01]: You will always in the process, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: So you're always in route, right?

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[SPEAKER_01]: And that's the hard part.

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[SPEAKER_01]: People don't realize when you were at times squared, that was not your peak of your mountain anymore.

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[SPEAKER_01]: You had already set your sights on something else so you were still just in the middle of a mountain and you didn't feel the sense of fulfillment that you thought you would feel like what I'm at the climax what's going on you because you weren't because you there's always a goal you're chasing and so you talk about this and

15:29.557 --> 15:34.627
[SPEAKER_01]: uh uh the book got from trying to blank on the name of it now uh the gap in the game.

15:35.068 --> 15:39.497
[SPEAKER_01]: The gap in the game, Benjamin Hardy and Dan Kennedy uh talk about.

15:39.537 --> 15:41.120
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you read the back the gap in the game?

15:41.480 --> 15:41.721
[SPEAKER_01]: I have.

15:42.262 --> 15:51.480
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay so the gap in the game is you know the gap is the gap between where you are right now and the thing you want the the accomplishment, the income.

15:51.460 --> 15:52.462
[SPEAKER_01]: the awards.

15:53.703 --> 15:55.606
[SPEAKER_01]: For me, it was being a best selling author, right?

15:55.987 --> 15:58.531
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, all last year, best selling author, best selling author.

15:58.551 --> 15:59.652
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm writing this new book.

15:59.672 --> 16:00.814
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to be a best selling author.

16:00.834 --> 16:02.677
[SPEAKER_01]: That was the top of the mountain for me.

16:03.078 --> 16:04.380
[SPEAKER_01]: That was the big goal I was chasing.

16:04.420 --> 16:08.165
[SPEAKER_01]: So the gap is the distance between where you are and the thing you're chasing.

16:08.586 --> 16:12.272
[SPEAKER_01]: The game is all the things, all the progress you've made.

16:12.732 --> 16:18.241
[SPEAKER_01]: Like if you look at all, if you were to look backwards and think, look at all the accomplishments you've been hitting, that's the game.

16:18.261 --> 16:19.763
[SPEAKER_01]: That's how far you've gained.

16:19.743 --> 16:29.152
[SPEAKER_01]: And so the problem with us, people like you and me, very driven ambitious people, is that there's always going to be a gap because we're always chasing something.

16:29.453 --> 16:33.887
[SPEAKER_01]: And that thing is, if you're always chasing the gap and you never appreciate the game,

16:34.171 --> 16:38.138
[SPEAKER_01]: you'll never feel satisfied, you'll never feel fulfillment.

16:38.158 --> 16:48.215
[SPEAKER_01]: And so in the book, they talk about, you have to have a process of everyday looking backwards and saying, thank you, yo, I'm actually, I'm making moves, I'm making progress.

16:48.576 --> 16:50.179
[SPEAKER_01]: I see the accomplishments I've done.

16:51.020 --> 16:53.064
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, yes, like it doesn't have to be these big things.

16:53.084 --> 16:54.266
[SPEAKER_01]: They could be little minute things.

16:54.526 --> 16:56.770
[SPEAKER_01]: Damn, yesterday, I crushed it.

16:56.750 --> 16:57.752
[SPEAKER_01]: I hit a salad.

16:57.772 --> 16:59.956
[SPEAKER_01]: I had a salad for lunch instead of pizza.

17:00.717 --> 17:01.559
[SPEAKER_01]: I went to the gym.

17:02.140 --> 17:03.221
[SPEAKER_01]: I crashed making my call.

17:03.322 --> 17:05.966
[SPEAKER_01]: My prospect and calls like I said I was going to do yesterday.

17:06.026 --> 17:08.150
[SPEAKER_01]: I lived up to the person I said I was going to be.

17:08.811 --> 17:09.773
[SPEAKER_01]: I am on my run.

17:09.793 --> 17:10.995
[SPEAKER_01]: I am on the right path, right?

17:11.296 --> 17:21.053
[SPEAKER_01]: And so every day having a process of appreciating the game and not always being so fixated on the gap because there will always be a gap.

17:21.033 --> 17:36.514
[SPEAKER_01]: if you're measuring your life on the fact that there will be no gap, you will never be happy because every time you've established an endpoint, by the time you get a little further up the mountain, your endpoint always adjusts relative to where you are.

17:36.574 --> 17:41.962
[SPEAKER_01]: So you've said a higher endpoint, for instance, like always to make six figures back in the day.

17:42.222 --> 17:44.085
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh man, when I get to the six feet, I can't wait.

17:44.165 --> 17:45.426
[SPEAKER_01]: Boy, that's my measurement of success.

17:45.867 --> 17:46.568
[SPEAKER_01]: I hid it.

17:47.206 --> 17:51.593
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, guess what my goal was when I hit it, I had already set a new goal and make 500, right?

17:51.613 --> 17:56.501
[SPEAKER_01]: Your goal keeps adjusting with you relative to your progress, your goal adjust relatively to that.

17:56.921 --> 17:58.303
[SPEAKER_01]: And so there's always a gap.

17:58.363 --> 18:02.390
[SPEAKER_01]: So you can never use that as your measurement of success, because then you'll never feel enough.

18:02.850 --> 18:04.333
[SPEAKER_01]: You'll always feel self defeating.

18:04.773 --> 18:06.396
[SPEAKER_01]: If that's how you measure yourself.

18:06.376 --> 18:08.381
[SPEAKER_01]: Mr. Self on the on the game.

18:08.602 --> 18:10.788
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, man, I'm I'm I'm crushed.

18:10.808 --> 18:12.733
[SPEAKER_01]: I had three speaking events.

18:13.696 --> 18:14.939
[SPEAKER_01]: I got all this good feedback.

18:14.959 --> 18:15.581
[SPEAKER_01]: People love me.

18:15.841 --> 18:16.182
[SPEAKER_01]: Man.

18:16.403 --> 18:16.744
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.

18:16.764 --> 18:21.617
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm living in alignment for who I was called to be a that success.

18:22.036 --> 18:35.288
[SPEAKER_00]: I think many people, I'm going to rewind myself in time and help create context for the next question I ask you because I think this will be where many people are.

18:36.469 --> 18:37.931
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't really have direction.

18:38.471 --> 18:39.732
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't really have a goal.

18:39.752 --> 18:50.102
[SPEAKER_00]: I have been misunderstood, lost, confused, learning disability, overweight, relationships aren't working.

18:50.082 --> 18:53.006
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I'm trying the therapy thing, but I don't think it's helping.

18:53.046 --> 19:00.094
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't really know what to do, and I hear five star life, and I'm like, bro, I can't even barely brush my teeth.

19:00.194 --> 19:01.496
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, where do you talking about?

19:02.177 --> 19:02.617
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?

19:03.158 --> 19:05.160
[SPEAKER_00]: Where does that, and that was real, that was me.

19:05.260 --> 19:07.843
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's exactly where I was 15 years ago.

19:08.564 --> 19:11.087
[SPEAKER_00]: Where, where does that person begin?

19:12.509 --> 19:13.630
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, great questions.

19:14.031 --> 19:20.038
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh, this is a tough one because you can give someone with all the facts.

19:20.812 --> 19:27.606
[SPEAKER_01]: formula and the execution plan and the tactics, but if they don't have the internal drive, they won't do it.

19:27.706 --> 19:31.875
[SPEAKER_01]: So the very, very, very first step is someone has to have an internal fire that's lit.

19:32.436 --> 19:34.140
[SPEAKER_01]: That can't come from an external source.

19:34.721 --> 19:37.427
[SPEAKER_01]: Like there's nothing I could do to give you an internal fire.

19:38.008 --> 19:41.976
[SPEAKER_01]: And so here's where my internal fire came from.

19:43.171 --> 19:47.859
[SPEAKER_01]: The moment my life changed forever, was not me homeless on my mom's couch.

19:47.879 --> 19:50.464
[SPEAKER_01]: You would think that would be my rock bottom, but that wasn't.

19:51.966 --> 19:57.235
[SPEAKER_01]: My rock bottom truly came was, one day I've sent no my mom's couch and I get a notification from LinkedIn.

19:57.957 --> 20:03.246
[SPEAKER_01]: And LinkedIn, you know, the singing is notification says, hey, go congratulate this person on their new job promotion.

20:03.867 --> 20:06.892
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it says, go congratulate Eric on his new job promotion.

20:07.353 --> 20:08.014
[SPEAKER_01]: Eric,

20:07.994 --> 20:12.425
[SPEAKER_01]: was my lab partner when I was a computer engineer at the University of Illinois.

20:12.505 --> 20:13.587
[SPEAKER_01]: We were lab partners together.

20:14.048 --> 20:16.133
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we essentially did everything together.

20:16.153 --> 20:17.336
[SPEAKER_01]: We took all the homeworks together.

20:17.356 --> 20:18.519
[SPEAKER_01]: We did all the labs together.

20:19.000 --> 20:20.464
[SPEAKER_01]: We took the take on quizzes together.

20:20.504 --> 20:21.727
[SPEAKER_01]: We did every assignment together.

20:22.208 --> 20:25.716
[SPEAKER_01]: And you essentially go through this program with a buddy, like a buddy system.

20:25.966 --> 20:28.448
[SPEAKER_01]: And so you graduate, essentially with the exact same grades.

20:29.469 --> 20:31.791
[SPEAKER_01]: And me and him were on the exact same plane in life.

20:32.192 --> 20:34.354
[SPEAKER_01]: And Eric, you know, just add a little color context there.

20:34.834 --> 20:37.737
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I was like the, the, the, the studious one.

20:37.777 --> 20:41.480
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm in the, I'm the one in the lab, you know, to four in the morning working on homework.

20:41.500 --> 20:44.362
[SPEAKER_01]: So he was like more of like the relationship business guy.

20:44.382 --> 20:46.504
[SPEAKER_01]: He would come in last minute and like, hey, man, did you do the homework?

20:46.925 --> 20:48.406
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, man, can, can I swap it with you?

20:48.426 --> 20:49.667
[SPEAKER_01]: Go, can you put it on my thumb drives?

20:50.068 --> 20:52.250
[SPEAKER_01]: And like so, you know, I love Eric to this day.

20:52.310 --> 20:53.931
[SPEAKER_01]: Me and Eric have talked about, you know,

20:53.911 --> 20:55.372
[SPEAKER_01]: He's actually in my book.

20:55.433 --> 21:09.767
[SPEAKER_01]: I wrote a write about him in my book, but and so like as we graduate I thought that I was the more capable one like I'm the one that kind of pulled us along in our program together And here I am 15 years later.

21:09.807 --> 21:21.319
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm getting a notification saying go check out Eric's new LinkedIn profile his new job type and I go look at his job title and he was the new he was now the CTO of a boutique software for

21:22.345 --> 21:51.998
[SPEAKER_01]: And I go to his Instagram and I look and he's living this elaborate life like this, you know, they've got a lake house and they've got a boat and, you know, they're taking these great vacations with his family and he's sitting on the board for charity and, like, here I was, like, looking at someone who was living it up and I'm homeless on my mom's couch.

21:52.653 --> 21:55.056
[SPEAKER_02]: That moment was like the Lord of a shawnd means like Jarvis.

21:56.798 --> 21:58.260
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the life I had for you.

21:59.041 --> 22:00.142
[SPEAKER_01]: And look what you're doing.

22:00.623 --> 22:02.845
[SPEAKER_01]: You're wasting the potential that I put in you.

22:03.386 --> 22:04.347
[SPEAKER_01]: You're smarter than him.

22:04.647 --> 22:11.135
[SPEAKER_01]: You have all the same opportunities, all the same contacts, all the same resources, all the same intellect, all the same everything in life.

22:11.456 --> 22:13.458
[SPEAKER_01]: And look, look where you are.

22:13.538 --> 22:16.382
[SPEAKER_01]: Look what you're doing with the life that I, everything that I gave you.

22:16.682 --> 22:18.644
[SPEAKER_01]: You're wasting the potential I put in you.

22:19.325 --> 22:22.609
[SPEAKER_01]: And that for me was a wake-up call.

22:23.635 --> 22:25.920
[SPEAKER_01]: that day I got pissed off.

22:26.441 --> 22:31.151
[SPEAKER_01]: Like how dare I have so much going for me and I'm wasting it.

22:31.532 --> 22:34.598
[SPEAKER_01]: Like how there's someone else's out there getting my blessings.

22:35.380 --> 22:35.801
[SPEAKER_01]: Fuck that.

22:36.803 --> 22:40.912
[SPEAKER_01]: From this day forward, I am not wasting my potential.

22:42.355 --> 22:43.838
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's what people are missing.

22:44.678 --> 22:46.039
[SPEAKER_01]: you will need to get pissed off.

22:46.740 --> 22:52.445
[SPEAKER_01]: And the moment you get pissed off, life changes, because then you'll do whatever it takes after that.

22:52.766 --> 22:57.650
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have to give, no one had to give me the formula, the secrets to success.

22:58.071 --> 22:58.932
[SPEAKER_01]: I would have found it.

22:59.032 --> 23:04.877
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, the moment someone gets the deep, seated burning desire, they will go figure it out.

23:04.897 --> 23:06.799
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't need to lay out the formula for them.

23:07.160 --> 23:08.801
[SPEAKER_01]: They need to have the desire first.

23:08.961 --> 23:12.745
[SPEAKER_01]: So the question is, how did someone get that internal flame lit?

23:12.725 --> 23:17.280
[SPEAKER_01]: how does someone intentionally get themselves pissed off?

23:17.300 --> 23:18.383
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the true question.

23:19.226 --> 23:25.165
[SPEAKER_01]: And that, what I tell people to do is go find someone else that's guess the guy's found me, you should have.

23:25.465 --> 23:31.331
[SPEAKER_01]: They go look at them and like damn they got the car, they got the girl they got the house They not as smarter than me.

23:31.371 --> 23:32.132
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm smart as them.

23:32.212 --> 23:33.874
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just as good looking as them.

23:33.934 --> 23:37.918
[SPEAKER_01]: I got just as many things going for me as them Well, God damn it if they could do it.

23:38.298 --> 23:55.236
[SPEAKER_01]: Why am I not doing it like you got to get you have you have to have a way of Intentionally getting yourself pissed off and jealousy and you know, I know we're on this woo woo spiritual age But jealousy can be used for good like like use that in a then that little in a like humanistic instinct

23:55.756 --> 24:00.648
[SPEAKER_01]: Fire yourself up, see somebody else out there but like damn what I got a Lamborghini and I don't.

24:01.089 --> 24:03.836
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought that guy, don't that, I'm getting after.

24:04.478 --> 24:07.365
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, gotta get, gotta get that fire lit.

24:07.946 --> 24:10.011
[SPEAKER_01]: And once you get that fire lit, you'll go figure it out.

24:10.452 --> 24:11.976
[SPEAKER_01]: You'll figure out everything else.

24:11.956 --> 24:13.499
[SPEAKER_00]: I think there's truth to that.

24:13.680 --> 24:23.100
[SPEAKER_00]: As long as you're not doing it from the keeping up with the Joneses perspective, because then we're going to hit an upper limit problem, which we're going to talk about in a minute.

24:23.822 --> 24:31.939
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think you're spot on because when I paying that picture of the person I was and that rewind, that was real.

24:31.919 --> 24:35.224
[SPEAKER_00]: And for me, I was sitting on my couch.

24:35.364 --> 24:38.990
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a Saturday morning, smoking a joint in chocolate cake.

24:39.511 --> 24:40.753
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm 350 pounds.

24:40.773 --> 24:42.015
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like 25 years old.

24:42.035 --> 24:44.379
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no reason to be 350 pounds.

24:44.399 --> 24:44.619
[SPEAKER_00]: None.

24:45.120 --> 24:46.943
[SPEAKER_00]: And here's a crazy part dude.

24:47.003 --> 24:48.465
[SPEAKER_00]: I was watching the CrossFit games.

24:49.106 --> 24:53.033
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like literally watching the fittest, both athletic people in the world.

24:53.333 --> 24:54.535
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, what the fuck?

24:54.515 --> 25:20.607
[SPEAKER_00]: fuck are you doing man and that moment singularly became this pivot right and it was me looking at my life and it was dark I mean I don't think you get to dark places without having dark experiences and and I don't want to overshadow that because I think so many people are like oh these guys just got their shit together no man like it was dark that tunnel was lonely there was

25:20.587 --> 25:42.932
[SPEAKER_00]: There's nothing good about 350 smoke and two packs a day drinking yourself to sleep, cheating on your girlfriend, not showing up in your life, scamming people in the business like, no, man, 25 year old me was a loser and I had to acknowledge that and what I hear you saying, you know you don't use this exact terminology, you got to acknowledge, dude, you're in your mom's couch.

25:42.912 --> 25:44.556
[SPEAKER_00]: your grown man.

25:44.616 --> 25:46.620
[SPEAKER_00]: You got to know this lot's potential.

25:47.061 --> 25:50.409
[SPEAKER_01]: You got to see you got to acknowledge that you're believing beneath your potential.

25:50.950 --> 25:59.790
[SPEAKER_01]: And the way and so when I say jealousy, I don't necessarily mean that like in the form of keeping up with the judges, but using other people as a measurement of what your full potential could be.

25:59.770 --> 26:09.133
[SPEAKER_01]: And the moment you acknowledge that, if they're doing it that I could do it to, and I'm here, there's a gap between the life I could be living in the life that I am living.

26:09.654 --> 26:12.682
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the motivating factor, is that there's loss potential there.

26:13.002 --> 26:16.952
[SPEAKER_01]: And the moment you recognize there's loss potential, that should ignite an internal fire.

26:16.932 --> 26:18.897
[SPEAKER_01]: to say, I could be doing better.

26:18.978 --> 26:20.401
[SPEAKER_01]: I could have access to more.

26:20.863 --> 26:25.054
[SPEAKER_01]: I could be making more money so I can have a bigger impact in the world and do it and use it for good.

26:25.475 --> 26:27.541
[SPEAKER_01]: I could be a greater force in the world and I'm not.

26:28.443 --> 26:31.752
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, from this point forward, I'm going to actively try to close that gap.

26:32.018 --> 26:47.428
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, heard but where is that space where people will take the point of measurement, belittle themselves to death, pick themselves up, beat themselves down, shame, guilt, judgment, fear,

26:47.408 --> 26:54.479
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like I see it, but I'm such a loser, you know, and there's the I'm a loser do something and then there's a I'm a loser.

26:54.559 --> 26:56.181
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to jump off a fucking bridge.

26:56.582 --> 26:56.802
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.

26:56.902 --> 27:00.367
[SPEAKER_00]: So how do you how do you actually how do you flip that on the head.

27:00.448 --> 27:02.811
[SPEAKER_00]: So like you're actually in control of the narrative.

27:03.853 --> 27:14.749
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's a great question because you write it can go too far and to didn't just become self defeating and so I continue to you like what you what you ingest.

27:15.505 --> 27:17.497
[SPEAKER_01]: So like, okay, you have your point, your reference point.

27:17.719 --> 27:22.528
[SPEAKER_01]: That is, like for me, Eric was the new reference point of a full potential of my life.

27:23.453 --> 27:27.537
[SPEAKER_01]: He looked like me, it sounded like me, went to the same school, and he's doing this.

27:27.938 --> 27:31.761
[SPEAKER_01]: I definitely could be achieving the same thing he is and have the same impact he is.

27:31.781 --> 27:33.003
[SPEAKER_01]: So he's my new reference point.

27:33.683 --> 27:45.095
[SPEAKER_01]: But I didn't go down a rabbit hole of continuing to find other, once I had the new reference point now, I was like, now I'm measuring myself now based on who I was yesterday.

27:45.575 --> 27:52.262
[SPEAKER_01]: And so did I, did I, am I better today than I was yesterday?

27:53.052 --> 27:55.615
[SPEAKER_01]: on the path of becoming the better version, right?

27:55.655 --> 28:00.580
[SPEAKER_01]: So once you know there's more, you create some goals around that or like, okay, that's the do-go.

28:01.101 --> 28:04.905
[SPEAKER_01]: But now your measurement becomes a daily measurement based on who you were yesterday.

28:04.985 --> 28:06.026
[SPEAKER_01]: Did I win yesterday?

28:06.046 --> 28:08.028
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it becomes this micro.

28:08.268 --> 28:16.157
[SPEAKER_01]: Like after you get the macro level inspiration, now the micro level is a day-to-day, did I make progress from yesterday?

28:16.137 --> 28:32.475
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it's not a constant beat in yourself up because you're not making a million dollars a year, that'll keep you going down a spiral, but once you're inspired to do better, it's like, okay, well, today that I'm yesterday that I make the business plan that I said I was going to do I did, I'm on path okay.

28:32.455 --> 29:00.657
[SPEAKER_01]: Today did I reach out yesterday did I reach out to the five people that I said I was going to reach out to I did that okay great so my it's not every day I'm looking at am I making a million dollars it's every day that I based on yesterday's performance and did I do what I said I was going to yesterday and if I am I'm proud of myself for that so it's the daily wins of who you comparing yourself to who you were yesterday that's where your fulfillment should come from so I'm on the path of closing the gap not is the gap closed.

29:00.637 --> 29:04.302
[SPEAKER_01]: Am I on the past that every day I'm making progress to closing the gap?

29:04.843 --> 29:06.566
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that makes sense.

29:06.586 --> 29:12.394
[SPEAKER_00]: That kind of closes the loop of where we kind of open this conversation because that's where people get stuck.

29:12.414 --> 29:14.918
[SPEAKER_00]: They don't understand the game.

29:15.559 --> 29:30.441
[SPEAKER_00]: I never in a million years, whatever the magic in my life looks like what it looks like today, when I couldn't brush my teeth, when I was sitting on that bed smoking that joint eating chocolate cake watching the

29:30.421 --> 29:34.628
[SPEAKER_00]: I would have been like, you're out of your mind, like, what are you talking about, right?

29:35.149 --> 29:45.966
[SPEAKER_00]: And what I realize now in retrospect looking at and referencing the gain, a lot of it has been the daily points of just did I show up today.

29:45.946 --> 30:12.932
[SPEAKER_00]: right did I shop did I do the thing same way you and i met all those years ago was like we both had to show up and we happened across past the same time at the same place because we made a decision doesn't mean we were right or wrong we were we were audience members we were sitting we we weren't on the stage we were just like hey this is a direction i want to go and i think at least choosing a direction matter because i do i see guys like bring them for shard i'm like that's mine

30:12.912 --> 30:13.613
[SPEAKER_00]: I want that.

30:14.134 --> 30:15.015
[SPEAKER_00]: What does he do?

30:15.035 --> 30:16.416
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna go that direction.

30:17.077 --> 30:21.603
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think your habits and your routines, those are the things that shape your life.

30:21.823 --> 30:22.804
[SPEAKER_00]: Whether you like it or not.

30:23.105 --> 30:25.568
[SPEAKER_00]: You show me, you show me 350 pound Michael.

30:25.608 --> 30:27.410
[SPEAKER_00]: I will show you his habits and routines.

30:27.450 --> 30:28.772
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't even need to see his calendar.

30:28.832 --> 30:30.133
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll show you, there's nothing on it.

30:30.794 --> 30:30.914
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?

30:31.535 --> 30:32.196
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I know.

30:32.256 --> 30:32.777
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?

30:33.217 --> 30:35.300
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I look at that I go cool.

30:35.700 --> 30:41.147
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, if every damn day is the thing that is what's going to transform our lives,

30:41.127 --> 30:44.278
[SPEAKER_00]: What are the things that we need to be doing every day?

30:44.760 --> 30:45.020
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?

30:45.101 --> 30:47.328
[SPEAKER_00]: What are the points of measure?

30:47.349 --> 30:53.871
[SPEAKER_00]: What are the individual KPIs for the gamification to actually kill this life?

30:54.509 --> 31:00.595
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so I mentioned that I was an engineer and in engineering school, you learn the process of reverse engineering.

31:00.615 --> 31:03.317
[SPEAKER_01]: And so reverse engineering is you take the end result.

31:03.357 --> 31:04.438
[SPEAKER_01]: You take an end product.

31:04.478 --> 31:06.100
[SPEAKER_01]: You take something a computer or whatever.

31:06.140 --> 31:11.264
[SPEAKER_01]: And you break it down to dissect its components and figure out how it was made.

31:11.405 --> 31:17.810
[SPEAKER_01]: So you take the end result and you try to work your way backwards to find the starting place, the starting bonus.

31:17.830 --> 31:22.795
[SPEAKER_01]: Because then you can rework those and find make a cheaper, make it faster, make it more efficient.

31:22.775 --> 31:30.045
[SPEAKER_01]: And so you learn how to reverse engineer, and so what I did was I tried to reverse engineer happiness and success.

31:30.626 --> 31:32.148
[SPEAKER_01]: So what are the starting points?

31:32.268 --> 31:37.175
[SPEAKER_01]: What are the fact key habits that ultimately leads to a person's happiness and success?

31:37.796 --> 31:44.766
[SPEAKER_01]: And at the time I was coaching and I had a bunch of clients, I did executive coaching and training and training and

31:44.746 --> 32:02.488
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I had a kind of like a pool of people and I kind of like used them as test subjects and went on this three year journey to to test out measuring and quantifying Their habits and behaviors to find what were the things that led to for the people that were the most successful and most happy what were the things they were doing every day that led to it.

32:02.988 --> 32:09.336
[SPEAKER_01]: And so what we found was there of these five things these five markers of success and happiness and and

32:09.316 --> 32:10.257
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to share it right now.

32:10.298 --> 32:11.580
[SPEAKER_01]: They spelled the word heroes.

32:12.341 --> 32:16.627
[SPEAKER_01]: And so the first one one is H, heart rate, the raise your heart rate.

32:17.369 --> 32:22.557
[SPEAKER_01]: Every day, the most successful and happy people raise their heart rate every day through exercise.

32:23.358 --> 32:26.042
[SPEAKER_01]: The East stands for, stands for eat right.

32:26.174 --> 32:37.869
[SPEAKER_01]: They eat right for not just looking good, but for mental clarity, for having more energy and not being left arctic and for focus and productivity.

32:38.410 --> 32:43.156
[SPEAKER_01]: So how you eat actually plays a role into your ability to make more money and grow and grow your business.

32:44.077 --> 32:46.620
[SPEAKER_01]: Are for reading the most successful people?

32:46.700 --> 32:48.763
[SPEAKER_01]: Have it of reading every day to learn and grow?

32:49.384 --> 32:51.186
[SPEAKER_01]: Cause the more you learn, the more you're earned.

32:51.841 --> 32:54.245
[SPEAKER_01]: The Oster for one big then, one big thing.

32:54.285 --> 33:05.947
[SPEAKER_01]: They took one, I'll originally big action every day, whether that was calling 25 new prospects for business or some big action, I was going to push their business or wealth goal the furthest.

33:05.967 --> 33:09.613
[SPEAKER_01]: They took one big action every day in the SDS for spread joy.

33:10.836 --> 33:14.322
[SPEAKER_01]: The most successful people were the ones that spread joy infectious.

33:14.723 --> 33:28.684
[SPEAKER_01]: And so when we look at it, we start to measure these things, heart rate, eat right, read one big action and spread joy and we turn it into a daily game of everyday setting into an intention for these five areas.

33:29.104 --> 33:34.192
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what we have to do with every morning people will go into this app and they will set an intention for their heart rate.

33:34.212 --> 33:35.514
[SPEAKER_01]: What are you going to do it at a regular heart rate?

33:36.014 --> 33:40.321
[SPEAKER_01]: What are you going to do the data to eat right or you're going to stick to your eating discipline for the day?

33:40.761 --> 33:42.604
[SPEAKER_01]: What are you going to read today to learn and grow?

33:42.584 --> 33:44.947
[SPEAKER_01]: What's one big action you're going to take today to grow your business?

33:45.628 --> 33:48.151
[SPEAKER_01]: And then how are you going to spread joy and make someone else smile today?

33:48.472 --> 33:49.653
[SPEAKER_01]: They have the extra those five questions.

33:50.214 --> 33:56.181
[SPEAKER_01]: And what we found was when people started tracking those five things, they had to have the best year of their life.

33:57.743 --> 34:06.495
[SPEAKER_01]: Those five things were the, we found where the key habits that led to health wealth and relationships, which essentially is what makes people feel successful in happy and life.

34:06.835 --> 34:09.098
[SPEAKER_01]: And feel fulfilled with their life.

34:09.635 --> 34:17.637
[SPEAKER_01]: And so those those the five markers and that's kind of what I talk about and in my book, the title is the morning here's guy to building a five star life.

34:18.376 --> 34:20.058
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the premise of the five stars.

34:20.418 --> 34:21.779
[SPEAKER_01]: Each of those habits is a star.

34:21.940 --> 34:24.002
[SPEAKER_01]: And so every day you're trying to get a five star.

34:24.022 --> 34:25.463
[SPEAKER_01]: You're trying to have a five star day.

34:26.084 --> 34:28.686
[SPEAKER_01]: And so yesterday, I went to the gym.

34:30.548 --> 34:36.654
[SPEAKER_01]: My eating discipline right now is no alcohol and they'll sugar, I'll call myself a happy non-drinker.

34:37.555 --> 34:40.798
[SPEAKER_01]: So did yesterday, I didn't drink alcohol and I didn't have sugar.

34:41.959 --> 34:44.582
[SPEAKER_01]: I read, I'm in a process of recording my audio books.

34:44.642 --> 34:46.864
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm reading my own book every day.

34:46.844 --> 35:03.250
[SPEAKER_01]: Yesterday my one big thing was reaching out to people for to do a podcast for the book and then spread joy game a wife of footrobes yesterday I had a five star day and so if I can look back and say how did I perform yesterday if you have now you have a system away of like objectively scoring your day

35:03.230 --> 35:05.193
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, oh, shit, yes, they had a five-shot.

35:05.594 --> 35:05.834
[SPEAKER_01]: Boom.

35:06.195 --> 35:06.696
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, okay.

35:06.816 --> 35:07.838
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel good.

35:07.858 --> 35:08.639
[SPEAKER_01]: That was a winning day.

35:09.060 --> 35:11.944
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think a lot of the problems people don't have a sense of winning.

35:12.385 --> 35:12.946
[SPEAKER_01]: Like they'd won.

35:12.966 --> 35:14.629
[SPEAKER_01]: They never defined what a winning day looks like.

35:14.909 --> 35:17.373
[SPEAKER_01]: And they don't have a way to accurately score the day.

35:17.714 --> 35:22.682
[SPEAKER_01]: And so now what we've done is we've given people a way to objectively score their day.

35:23.043 --> 35:25.727
[SPEAKER_01]: And so every day they get a sense of winning.

35:25.707 --> 35:29.156
[SPEAKER_01]: instead of like trying to measure, did I make a million dollars yet?

35:29.176 --> 35:31.762
[SPEAKER_01]: They can just say, hey, what did I score yesterday?

35:31.802 --> 35:32.985
[SPEAKER_01]: Did I do this?

35:33.005 --> 35:33.988
[SPEAKER_01]: Did I have a five-star day?

35:34.008 --> 35:34.349
[SPEAKER_01]: I did.

35:34.950 --> 35:35.732
[SPEAKER_01]: Boom.

35:35.752 --> 35:40.003
[SPEAKER_01]: That's momentum and you just every day you have a process now, if you have a building moment to be carrying it.

35:40.540 --> 35:44.704
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that makes so much sense to me because it's the consistency, right?

35:45.084 --> 35:47.086
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's the same as Eric Learning Spanish.

35:47.166 --> 35:48.988
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like you go do the thing.

35:49.008 --> 36:01.219
[SPEAKER_00]: And the greatest lesson I've learned, it not only ties into business, I learned it through business, but when I understood it, I was able to apply it to everything in my life.

36:01.860 --> 36:09.687
[SPEAKER_00]: The greatest lesson I've ever learned, getting momentum is hard.

36:09.667 --> 36:17.677
[SPEAKER_00]: Getting moment to back after losing it is the hardest thing you'll ever do, and that's one of those things that I learned.

36:18.238 --> 36:25.667
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm actually in the moment of that experience on the backside right now in many areas of my life because I had to slow down.

36:25.687 --> 36:26.789
[SPEAKER_00]: I had to like hit the brakes.

36:26.829 --> 36:29.993
[SPEAKER_00]: I had to close and walk away from some things and I lost momentum.

36:30.393 --> 36:37.142
[SPEAKER_00]: And I lost track and I got off of that line and I had to really like ask myself, what am I doing this for?

36:37.122 --> 36:38.564
[SPEAKER_00]: Why am I here?

36:39.125 --> 36:51.225
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that, that thing about momentum and consistency is so profound because it is the thing that allows you to look back in 10 years.

36:51.866 --> 36:54.210
[SPEAKER_00]: And go, oh, it was today that it should.

36:54.230 --> 37:02.083
[SPEAKER_00]: I can vividly remember the moment where everything shifted for me as you can because there had been other moments.

37:02.317 --> 37:12.936
[SPEAKER_00]: We had a bunch of other experiences in that space of, ah, maybe, I'm out there, you know, and then, but that one, and we can remember that.

37:12.976 --> 37:23.835
[SPEAKER_00]: We can look at all the massive leaps we've taken, but I don't know if you feel this way, but 40 year old me would run circles around that guy.

37:23.815 --> 37:26.978
[SPEAKER_00]: same as 30 year old, same as 35 year old, same as yesterday.

37:27.038 --> 37:29.381
[SPEAKER_00]: Like today, me kicks yesterday me the ass.

37:30.041 --> 37:32.484
[SPEAKER_00]: Like totally because I'm like, I'm showing up differently.

37:33.065 --> 37:40.993
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that being able to track and measure, it feels weird because I think people think it's arbitrary, right?

37:41.253 --> 37:41.513
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

37:41.533 --> 37:43.455
[SPEAKER_00]: They're like, oh, do I really need to do it?

37:43.475 --> 37:44.196
[SPEAKER_00]: Does it matter?

37:44.236 --> 37:52.945
[SPEAKER_00]: I can tell you this, the the most successful my life has ever been, health wealth relationships when I'm writing my goals every day.

37:52.925 --> 38:01.597
[SPEAKER_00]: Nothing comes close, nothing, and so I'm curious, I want to go into this a little bit more because I think it'll be beneficial for people.

38:02.579 --> 38:13.233
[SPEAKER_00]: They will get on the path, they will be doing the work, they will be showing up, they will be executing, they'll be tracking, they'll do all the things and then boom, self-savutum.

38:14.335 --> 38:15.417
[SPEAKER_00]: What is that about?

38:15.637 --> 38:22.206
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you have a five-star life and then

38:23.435 --> 38:27.300
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, it's a tough one because that happened to me too.

38:30.023 --> 38:37.052
[SPEAKER_01]: But I like my first down, downward spiral was I was a, you know, to everyone else.

38:37.412 --> 38:38.574
[SPEAKER_01]: I was living a five star life.

38:38.614 --> 38:40.135
[SPEAKER_01]: We had a pin house overlooking the ocean.

38:40.155 --> 38:42.899
[SPEAKER_01]: I was making good money drama and Mercedes bins.

38:43.299 --> 38:47.164
[SPEAKER_01]: But internally, I wasn't happy and I self sabotaged.

38:49.810 --> 38:55.444
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, as I was writing the book, I never really fully unpacked why I did it or what was happening.

38:56.266 --> 39:07.414
[SPEAKER_01]: But as I was writing the book, I had to really unpack my downfall and like what was the true source of why I went down as hard as I did.

39:07.934 --> 39:33.469
[SPEAKER_01]: I when I know to be true now is that I was I was hitting an upper limit and we talked about this before, but the gay Hendrix has a book called the big leap where he describes the upper limit, which is like your internal thermometer of happiness and success that you'll allow yourself to have like your comfort zone and that set subconsciously when you're a kid through your environment through your life circumstances through your parents you have like a thermometer setting and then when you start to exceed that setting.

39:33.652 --> 39:45.417
[SPEAKER_01]: when you start to make more money than you ever made before, and when you start to have get all the toys and this lifestyle's to feel too easy, like when I, and so my setting was set as hard work equal success.

39:46.477 --> 39:48.862
[SPEAKER_01]: that statement I learned from my parents.

39:48.922 --> 39:50.906
[SPEAKER_01]: I learned from my coaches and playing football.

39:51.407 --> 39:52.268
[SPEAKER_01]: You got a grind.

39:52.328 --> 39:54.853
[SPEAKER_01]: You got a hustle if you want to be success.

39:55.134 --> 39:57.999
[SPEAKER_01]: Success is a byproduct of hard work in struggle.

39:58.380 --> 40:00.144
[SPEAKER_01]: Rubble to be successful and you'll make it.

40:00.845 --> 40:05.434
[SPEAKER_01]: And so internally, subconsciously, struggle equaled success.

40:05.935 --> 40:07.017
[SPEAKER_01]: And so,

40:06.997 --> 40:20.095
[SPEAKER_01]: As I got to a place in life where life got comfortable, got easy, I was making good money, I was at the top of the leaderboard, I was driving a car, I had the girl, I was having fun, subconsciously I had to create struggle in my life again.

40:20.243 --> 40:39.653
[SPEAKER_01]: And I, to bring myself back down to my, my comfort setting of you have to be, you should be struggling drivers if you want to be successful and so that was my upper limit my upper limit was life got too good and I didn't have struggling anymore and so subconsciously I, I sabotage it all to to create struggle in my life again.

40:39.633 --> 40:44.603
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think some starting place would be, how do you stay consistent one?

40:44.643 --> 40:48.071
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to be aware of when you are self-sabotagering.

40:48.131 --> 40:49.914
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to be aware of the triggers.

40:50.756 --> 40:53.843
[SPEAKER_01]: I am aware of that stuff now, and so I'm better at it.

40:53.943 --> 40:57.791
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you haven't gone through that process before, it's going to be hard for you to even be aware.

40:57.811 --> 41:00.797
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to be a very self and we're self-reflecting person.

41:00.777 --> 41:23.967
[SPEAKER_01]: to know yourself sabotage and to know your triggers and to know your, your, your, your, your habits and where they come from, but I, that, that can have to be the first part is awareness like, oh, I know, I know this, I know this is about the happening and then you can do something about it for instance myself sabotage, I'm in a best shape of my life right now, I don't know if you can tell, but I'm, I'm ripped like doing the rock Johnson and.

41:24.149 --> 41:27.012
[SPEAKER_01]: The, and I write, that's actually my goal every morning.

41:27.052 --> 41:29.174
[SPEAKER_01]: I write, I write this year.

41:29.194 --> 41:30.535
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm getting ripped like Dwayne of our jobs.

41:30.555 --> 41:31.596
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I managed it this.

41:32.217 --> 41:38.403
[SPEAKER_01]: But I know it'll be true, but I know to be true is whenever I get on a rhythm in my mind.

41:38.463 --> 41:41.066
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, oh, I'm doing good now.

41:41.226 --> 41:42.047
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm okay.

41:42.067 --> 41:44.269
[SPEAKER_01]: I've earned this pizza.

41:44.289 --> 41:46.411
[SPEAKER_01]: I've earned these stone nuts.

41:46.551 --> 41:53.278
[SPEAKER_01]: I've, and so self-consciously what I would always do was I start to get progress and start to look good in the mirror.

41:53.258 --> 42:13.967
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I go binging on Bert cheeseburgers and pizza for a week and then I'm back fat again and I'm like what the fuck why am I always I started to do good and now I'm back fat again and I go into the time so now I'm now I'm aware I'm aware and so now I looked at myself in the mirror I see a six pack it's like okay drivers.

42:14.234 --> 42:15.156
[SPEAKER_01]: This is when it happens.

42:16.178 --> 42:26.438
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, you know you're going to want Donas, because you feel like you've earned it, and you feel like you've got, rhythm, you feel like you've got margin now, because you've been doing work as hard, and you feel like you've got some room.

42:27.139 --> 42:28.682
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, don't do it.

42:29.043 --> 42:30.606
[SPEAKER_01]: Protect yourself today.

42:30.586 --> 42:34.190
[SPEAKER_01]: get all the sweets out of the house, like go on a cupboard right now, throw everything away.

42:34.531 --> 42:41.019
[SPEAKER_01]: Like so you'll get to a place in life where once you start to, like you have to, this is where you've got to do a lot of self reflection.

42:41.840 --> 42:54.535
[SPEAKER_01]: What are my self-sabotaging habits, and what are the triggers, and then like you start to be able to recognize them in advance to protect yourself when you know they're about to have.

42:55.190 --> 42:56.493
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's powerful, man.

42:56.713 --> 43:04.929
[SPEAKER_00]: And same, you know, I mean, do trust me, you don't get to 350 pounds because you like fucking salads and boy old chicken, you know.

43:04.969 --> 43:11.362
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's like, even for myself, like I think about that a lot, like all the work it took to get in shape and be healthy.

43:11.723 --> 43:13.266
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, this momentum thing.

43:13.246 --> 43:19.474
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's not that, like, you don't need a donut sometimes, but it's like, are you doing it for the right reason?

43:19.534 --> 43:23.498
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think understanding the self-scivatage, that's the differentiation.

43:23.539 --> 43:25.701
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the difference between success and failure.

43:26.242 --> 43:29.766
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I want people to go and have a five-star life.

43:29.846 --> 43:33.771
[SPEAKER_00]: I want them to be able to tap into the operating system.

43:33.791 --> 43:35.473
[SPEAKER_00]: I want them most importantly.

43:35.453 --> 43:41.020
[SPEAKER_00]: to be able to look back on this journey and know that they gave everything they could every damn day.

43:41.460 --> 43:43.022
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want them to come and read your book.

43:43.122 --> 43:46.787
[SPEAKER_00]: So before I ask you my last question, where can everybody grab the book?

43:46.827 --> 43:48.249
[SPEAKER_00]: Where can everyone connect with you?

43:48.289 --> 43:52.173
[SPEAKER_00]: Where can everyone start this process of creating that five-star life?

43:53.075 --> 43:54.136
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so the book is on Amazon.

43:54.476 --> 43:56.599
[SPEAKER_01]: And so the easiest way to get it is go through Amazon.

43:57.880 --> 44:03.267
[SPEAKER_01]: Every day I should be the first one that comes up.

44:04.023 --> 44:07.327
[SPEAKER_01]: every damn day to have just to help people be better people.

44:07.868 --> 44:09.671
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it's my full name, Jarvis.

44:09.751 --> 44:12.895
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just going to leverage them on Instagram.

44:13.856 --> 44:17.241
[SPEAKER_01]: And we are releasing an app called the Morning Hero.

44:17.962 --> 44:20.946
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it's actually out right now.

44:21.467 --> 44:22.468
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a beta right now.

44:22.708 --> 44:28.136
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we're pretty excited about it because inside the app is where you will be able to live your five star life.

44:28.156 --> 44:29.718
[SPEAKER_01]: So you'll go and you'll create these habits.

44:30.279 --> 44:32.882
[SPEAKER_01]: And you'll create your five star intentions every day.

44:32.862 --> 44:38.912
[SPEAKER_01]: And then you'll track them off as you do them and then your life becomes a game so your goal is to just have a five star day.

44:38.972 --> 44:41.677
[SPEAKER_01]: So you're racking up points and kind of gamified your life.

44:42.278 --> 44:51.413
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'll say the other thing that we talk another piece to this is like how you guard against staying on the bad bandwagon as opposed to staying off is when you layer in accountability.

44:51.673 --> 44:54.718
[SPEAKER_01]: So when you layer and get other people involved.

44:55.019 --> 45:06.975
[SPEAKER_01]: That's where you build consistency because you will let yourself off the hook time and time again, we let ourselves down all the time, however, we will stretch far beyond our limits to not let someone else down.

45:07.596 --> 45:18.310
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, you know, when you can like get yourself into some sort of accountability pod or a group or what we're called a tribe of a tribe of people that's invested in your goal with you.

45:18.290 --> 45:19.172
[SPEAKER_01]: You will show up.

45:19.332 --> 45:24.981
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I've got like a push up group, you know, I'm a part of this text thread is about 20 guys and we're part of this push-up challenge.

45:25.002 --> 45:27.065
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, a hundred push-ups a day for a hundred straight days.

45:27.927 --> 45:34.858
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we're in this text message thread and every day you have to post into the group once you've done your completed your hundred push-ups.

45:35.580 --> 45:40.869
[SPEAKER_01]: And then if you miss a day, you got to go back to zero and you keep toning until you get up to a hundred consecutive days.

45:41.610 --> 45:42.812
[SPEAKER_01]: And boy,

45:42.792 --> 45:49.220
[SPEAKER_01]: It is the thing that gets me doing the person if it wasn't for that group I there definitely days I wouldn't do it.

45:49.240 --> 46:07.163
[SPEAKER_01]: But the fact of the matter is I have to report because 19 of the guys are looking at me and if I don't they're going to shame me and I lose a lose face in front of them they're going to you know they got bragging rights on me that psychologically we will go above and beyond to say face in front of others.

46:08.290 --> 46:11.354
[SPEAKER_01]: Because there's no, like, if it's just us, there's no consequence.

46:11.414 --> 46:14.077
[SPEAKER_01]: There's like, if I don't do push-ups today, so what was bad?

46:14.097 --> 46:15.218
[SPEAKER_01]: There's nothing bad going to happen.

46:15.799 --> 46:21.185
[SPEAKER_01]: But if someone else is tied into it, I have to do it because my pride is on the line.

46:21.385 --> 46:24.549
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, pride is a driving force.

46:24.569 --> 46:28.073
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I would say, like, your question was, how do you get yourself to show up?

46:28.293 --> 46:31.817
[SPEAKER_01]: Even when you don't feel like it, it's the involved others.

46:31.957 --> 46:34.180
[SPEAKER_01]: And we've kind of built that into the app.

46:34.160 --> 46:38.446
[SPEAKER_01]: where you're but you can you link in to tribes with people and then you're on a leaderboard.

46:38.566 --> 46:41.410
[SPEAKER_01]: And so your score now isn't just your score alone.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Your score goes on to a leaderboard with other people and you're kind of ranked.

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[SPEAKER_01]: And so now that that adds that element of I have to show up to say face and front of other people.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So that that pride element is kind of what the psychology that we tap into to help people stay consistent.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Love it, man.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And congratulations on the book.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I just ordered mine.

47:02.087 --> 47:04.070
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm super excited to sit down and read it.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I know that it was a big undertaking for you.

47:07.034 --> 47:11.560
[SPEAKER_00]: Guys, please remember if you go over to thinkunbrokenpodcast.com, you look up Jarvis.

47:11.580 --> 47:12.882
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to see an old episode.

47:13.062 --> 47:14.324
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to see a new episode.

47:14.384 --> 47:15.946
[SPEAKER_00]: Share it with a friend.

47:16.026 --> 47:25.058
[SPEAKER_00]: If somebody in your life needs a step up and have a five star life and you got inspired today and you know, it's something that you believe in and something that you know, you

47:25.038 --> 47:31.726
[SPEAKER_00]: you need to add into your day to day so that you can come and build and create and have this life that you've been gifted.

47:31.746 --> 47:35.111
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, this might be your sign.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes I'll slow down and look up the universe and say, hey, thanks universe, I kick you me in the ass.

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[SPEAKER_00]: I know I certainly feel fired up today.

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[SPEAKER_00]: My friends, thank you so much for listening, Jarvis, thank you so much for being here.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Take care of yourselves.

47:48.788 --> 47:49.589
[SPEAKER_00]: Take care of each other.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And until next time my friends,

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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for listening to Think Unbroken.

47:57.460 --> 48:04.888
[SPEAKER_00]: Please share this episode with someone who could use it and help us move forward in our mission of ending generational trauma in our lifetime.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If you would, please take five seconds to pop on iTunes or Spotify, hit that five star, leave a review, and you can also reach out to us on social, at Michael Unbroken or at Think Unbroken.

48:17.482 --> 48:21.606
[SPEAKER_00]: And of course, you can check out our YouTube channel at Think Unbroken.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for being a part of Unbroken Nation, my friends, and until next time, be Unbroken.