July 23, 2021

E90 Shifting to a growth mindset | CPTSD Coach Podcast

In this episode, I talk about shifting to a growth mindset and the idea that we live in two phases: a growth mindset or a fixed mindset.
Learn more at https://www.ThinkUnbrokenPodcast.com


In this episode, I talk about shifting to a growth mindset and the idea that we live in two phases: a growth mindset or a fixed mindset.

Learn more at https://www.ThinkUnbrokenPodcast.com

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Follow me on Instagram @MichaelUnbroken

Learn more about coaching at www.HealTraumaCoach.com

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Transcript

Hey! What's up, my friends! Michael Unbroken here. Hope that you're having an amazing day wherever you are in the world.

Today, I want to talk to you about this idea of a growth mindset. So I've read an unbelievable number of books in my life. I'm probably close to five 600 somewhere in that window and I was thinking about this idea of… Okay – Maybe if I share every now and then, maybe I'll make it a Friday thing, the books that I'm reading or the books that I've read, all the books that have had an impact on my life.

And it hopes that maybe they will do the same for you, and the first book that came to mind as I was thinking about doing this is “Mindset by Carol Dweck” and the reason I want to talk about this book and to be honest with you, it's one of my I'd call it top five favorite books because the power that it holds when you understand the differentiation between a fixed and growth mindset is unbelievable. And so Carol's book mindset talks about the idea that we kind of life in two phases. We are either in a growth mindset or a fixed mindset.

Now, I for a very, very, very long time lived within the scope of a fixed mindset. So what is a fixed mindset? For me, it was I already predetermined everything, I was so much, it's so funny, I think about it now going back in hindsight, I was so much this person that you couldn't tell me anything. I was always going to be, right, I was always going to be in control, I always had a predetermined exactly why my life was the way that it was supposed to be. I lived into this idea, these notions these narratives that everyone else had displaced upon me saying you're not good enough, strong enough capable enough, right? But then more in deeper into that I live my life with the same assumption that my life was exactly how it was supposed to be because of all the things that happened and I would always feel pulled or called into this stub this vast amount of stubbornness around my identity, and we call these conversations with people, maybe like you are a robot, or you won't let anyone in or you always seem to have the answer, but you don't ever want to hear anyone's opinion and if I rewind, I go back to being 18-years old, 21 years old, 25, 26 27, you know, decade-plus ago, I very much would not listen to anyone. Like at all in any capacity, this includes when people would warn me of horrendous potential mistakes that I was going to make and I can assure you that because I did not listen I made them all. I determine for myself way before I would ever have a conversation with someone whether or not I was going to listen to them and I talk about this all the time about being open to following your intuition, the following your gut and I think there's this really interesting fine line between that, and being open to possibility. And so I would put myself in these situations where I would constantly put my back against the wall and someone and say; ‘Hey! Have you thought about this?I'm like, no, no, no, I know that the way that I'm going to do it, it's right.

There's something to be said about stubbornness in the power that it can have in creating change in your life, but it can also hinder you, it can also be the idea that you would make up your mind about everything before we have all the data will hinder you, it will stop you from progressing, it will stop you from being successful, having a fixed mindset is so much about this idea that you have already predetermined, what's going to happen in your life. And that doesn't necessarily mean like your life can expand because I've seen from my own self, but does that mean you're fully living into potential, and I certainly wasn't and everything was fixed, everything I was disallowing, any sort of possibility, any area in which I could have a backup and forth with someone in a conversation about anything around my life and more so about the capabilities and possibilities that I had in my life. I wish I would have this book, this book is pretty, recent growth is excused me Mindset by Carol Dweck. It's an as a fairly recent book is only come out within the last few years and I wish I would have had it 10 years ago, 12 years ago, 15 years ago because one of the things when you look at people who whether they are high performers or leaders or just showing up in their everyday life, who are just, you know, I would measure people, I would look at people and say; ‘Man, that guy so far ahead of me,’ I'll never be where they are, or that woman is done so much, I can never imagine, that's just not going to be my life, I'm going to have to settle, that is the definition textbook of a fixed mindset.

And so just by call it proximity by proxy by the fact that I was engaging myself into personal development therapy, all those things. My mindset started changing and my mindset really being this thing about the way I thought, the way that I allowed the space for other people to interject into my life. And when I came across Carol Dweck's book, I was blown away because it actually helped me understand in a really vast way how I had created this massive life-changing shift, and that shift was in what I allowed to be possible in my life and a growth mindset is very simple. Can you open up your mind to the possibility? That anything is possible, that not only that, anything is possible, but that there are multiple ways to reach solutions and more so that you can take in data from other sources.

If I would have these words years ago, I don't know where I would be, life would likely be different maybe or maybe be further along in this journey of Think Unbroken, then than I am at this moment. Now that's neither here nor there. So I don't know that it necessarily matters, but my point is, when I started getting into this idea of really leveraging a growth mindset, it turned me into a learner and it put me in a position to start thinking about life, from all different avenues.

I say this all the time, coaches have coaches and don't ever work with one who doesn't, and I have a coach for literally, everything fitness, my voice mindset business for, I mean, there's, there's a couple more and podcasting. I have a podcast in coach, right? So the whole nine, I have someone or someone’s multiple people in my life, who I always can look to mentorship. Now that also includes books, like I was seriously read this year, I'm on pace for about sixty-four bucks, I could get more, we'll see what happens. And so books are a great source for data for information to be a learner as well as YouTube and even podcasts. And so always trying to do is consume information in a way that helps me make more thought-out and practical decisions. I've tried to move away from this idea of making mistakes, by being vehemently stubborn, because it cost time, effort, energy, and money, and often my stubbornness would set me back instead of projecting me forward. Now, I do think there is space again for being stubborn or having your mind made up and not allowing people's opinions in, especially when it comes to your intuition, because you really have to learn to trust yourself again, but stepping into this idea of growth means that you can adapt other people's thoughts, feelings or emotions around a certain situation and make meaning of them in a way that could help transform your life.

And when I started getting into this idea of a growth mindset and really doubling down on it, like if I had a singular word to describe the difference that made the most change in my life during this journey, it would be growth. And growth to me at this time speaking at this moment is, how big can I go? Not, not only in like business, but in career and life, and relationships, and friendships and community, and volunteering, and in foundations, and charities, and talking to people and podcast, like, how expansive can I make my life? How big can I go while allowing other people to interject? Now, I think that you have to have a lot of clarity and intention about the people that you are parlaying within your life, and so vet them, do your research, make sure they fit but also find the right books for you.

Watch the right YouTube videos, listen to the right podcast that is in alignment, with the future that you're trying to create. One of the best things that you can do in your life gets really clear about big things. You know, I talked about goals frequently in the idea even I think often too small.

One of my biggest missions is can I help, heal 250 million people despite generational trauma in the next eight years. That goal is gigantic, right? And I recognize that's a that's huge undertaking and I fully believe it's possible and because I have a growth mindset, I'm always looking at or what tools can I bring into my life? More certifications, more education, more time speaking with people who are leading the way who are subject matter experts, more time healing myself, more time in the gym, more time with my coaches, more time making sure that I'm taking care of myself and taking bits and pieces from the experts around me to adapt into my life and then not only allowing that information to soak in but using it. One of the big things that I try to do in my life, as when I take, when I adapt new information is to deploy it as soon as I can. Because what good do you is a notebook? If you're not going to write in it, what, what good is having a tool? If you're not going to build a house with it? What good is shifting something in your mind and not doing anything with it? And so when you step into having this growth mindset and are willing to see what happens, on the other side, the expansion of your life will be gigantic.

So I want to tell you this, the most simplified way that I can think to kind of wrap this up today because I want to keep it short is this. Ask yourself this question. Do I have a fixed mindset and by limiting the possibility of my life because of already predetermined all potential outcomes and no one or nothing is going to shift the way that I think? Or do you have a growth mindset and you're willing to ask hard questions and you're willing to take in data and you're willing to try different things and you're willing to show up even though you don't have all the answers?

Because if you ask yourself this question, you're going to get really clear, really fast on the trajectory of your life. You're going to cap out on a long enough timeline, you will cap out potential if you have a fixed mindset, but when you have a growth mindset for lack of a better term, the sky is the limit, my friends.

So thank you, as usual for hanging out with me today. Thank you for listening to the Think Unbroken podcast.

Thank you for subscribing for all the awesome reviews, you guys are bringing in for all the love on the episodes with the recent guests.

I appreciate you so much. I'm so grateful that you'd be willing to even spend your time with me today.

Please like, subscribe, comment, leave a review, tell a friend.

And until next time.

My friends, Be Unbroken.

-I'll see you.

 

 

Michael Unbroken

Coach

Michael is an entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker, coach, and advocate for adult survivors of childhood trauma.